This is so dumb! But, ah, read it anyways. My brother deserves a ton of credit 4 this!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, but that's ok, because I like Gundam Wing better so HAH!
Ash, Misty, and the dood that never opens his eyes were walking along... again... with the yellow flea-bitten rat in tow. "Pikachu" it intelligently remarks.
Ash: What's that, Pikachu? I have broccoli in my teeth?
Brock: ....
Misty: -_-;;;; He needs a job.
And just when they need a distraction, who should pop out of the bushes but "Team Rocket", the people with the indestructible hair, and the cat... thing.
Jesse: To protect the world.... You know what? Why the heck are we supposed to protect the world from devastation? We are supposed to cause it, aren't we? Anyways, we have better things to do... like..... floss.....
James: Yeah, maybe our boss will come up with something better.
Jesse: But while we're here, we might as well pick on these kids. Oh, and short brat... you have broccoli in your teeth.
Ash: We don't need you around! I already have Jean Luc, I mean... Pikachu here to tell me when I have broccoli in my teeth!
Pikachu: Pika Pi! Chu!!
Ash: What? You want me to get a toothpick? Good idea! Do you have one?
James: Oooh! I have a used one! Will that work?
Jesse nudges him hard in the ribs.
Jesse: You moron! We're the bad guys! Well...then again...it is pretty gross. Oh, what the heck! Here you go, jerk!
Jesse tosses Ash the toothpick, but it falls into a muddy puddle.
Ash goes over and gingerly picks it out of the puddle.
Ash: Oh well, too bad.
Ash picks at his teeth, and gets the broccoli out, which falls onto Pikachu's head.
Pikachu: *#@*&@!! Pika!!!
Pikachu electrocutes Ash, and fries the broccoli.
The broccolli falls onto the ground, and Meowth calmly walks over and eats it.
Meowth: Wow! This is good! You gotta give me the recipe!
Jesse&James: -_-;;;; Didn't you just see where that came from?
Meowth: .... No. Why?
Misty faints, and no one bothers to catch her, so she just falls and hits her immense (overly heavy) head. *thunk!*
During all of this confusion, Brock just stands there, since he didn't see anything.
Pikachu: Pika Pika pika etc. !!!!! Chu!
Ash: Huh? I STILL have some in my teeth?!?!
Pikachu: Pika *etc.*
Ash: It's GROWING? And moldy? And it's making scary faces at you?!
Brock: What the heck is going on here?
No one bothers to answer him because Misty is passed out, team rocket and the pokemon are grossed out, and Ash can't talk because the broccoli had reached an alarming size and was still growing.
Ash: Mfffmffblfff!
Jesse: He said he can't breathe!
James: WE GOTTA HELP HIM! And I know JUST what to do!
He runs... somewhere and comes back with pruning scissors and goes to work. He's cutting so fast that a cloud of dust forms around him and when it clears, there is an impressively gruesome yet well-cut unicorn bush.
Jesse: It's head it too big!
James: Is not!
Jesse: Is too!
James: Is not!
Jesse: Is too!
James: Is too!
Jesse: Is not... HEY!
Ash: mmmmffff... 0.o *gag*
Nobody notices that the poor boy has become an unusual shade of purple. Pikachu is worried about the unicorn that keeps on squirming and making faces at him. Meowth has dropped dead because of food poisoning. Jesse and James finally finished their argument and realized that Ash was kinda suffocating....
James: Gee, Ash, you don't look so good. Are you ok?
Ash: (thinking: must...... get........ air........ DO I LOOK OK TO YOU, FREAKIN MORON?!!!!!) says: mmmfffsrrrr *gurgle*
The best he can do is shake his head, which causes the broccoli to whap team rocket to the sky and they are so grossed out they forget to say that they're blasting off again. The star they turn into is green.... Um, anyways.... Pikachu has whipped out a cell-phone outta somewhere and in his best cop voice says: "Pika pipi chu pi" Translation: We are in serious trouble here.
So in the distance we hear sirens and who should arrive but... MARTHA STEWART!
Brock: *falls at her feet* (he must have smelled her or something) I LOVE YOUR SHOW!
Martha: Thanks, young man whose eyes don't open. But how can you watch it if your eyes are...
She is cut short by a rather desperate Ash.
Martha: Oh, young man! You don't grow plants in your mouth, silly boy! But if you insist, we'll put in some NICE soil (stuffs his mouth with worm crap) and mix it with water (pours in water and jabs his mouth with a shovel) and soon you'll have a BEAUTIFUL rotten-broccoli garden! But I have to film soon, gotta go!
She waves to a dumbfounded Pikachu and takes off on her motorcycle making funny siren noises with her mouth. Pikachu sighs and whips out the handy phone once again.
Pikachu punches in the wrong number because he is a rat with three fingers, and because he is in such a hurry. Then he hears a voice on the phone. Probably female, he decides.
Phone lady: Hello? Who is this?
Pikachu (in a human voice): Hello. I'm having some trouble here. I need help.
Pikachu thinks it's the police, so he uses his cool detective voice.
Phone lady: Ok Bye.
Pikachu puts away the phone and waits.
Suddenly, he hears the roar of a tow truck, and it comes into view and parks next to the now unconscious Ash.
The lady takes off her helmet and says...
Anne Robinson: You ARE the WEAKEST LINKKKKK! Hullo! I'm Anne Robinson.
Pikachu suddenly falls in love with her, but instead tries to smile.
But what forms on his face is a lemon-sucking expression.
Anne decides to ignore it, and goes over to the broccoli unicorn, or what's left of it. Now it resembles something you would cough up after eating a moldy hot dog. Or a swamp-monster from the black lagoon. We could really get into detail, folks, but if we do the story won't get told! Soooo.......
Anne: Oh. Tsk, tsk. I had a bad case of "Rotten Broccoli in my teeth" after my lunch at Pizza Hut. It wasn't a pretty sight, believe me.
Then, suddenly, Team Rocket falls back down, right onto Anne.
Anne: Oof!
Team rocket: Wheee!
Ash: I 'ee elk! (I need help)
Brock: What?! Ash eats elk?!!!!!!!!!!!
During all of this confusion, Misty wakes up. But at the sight of the broccoli, Anne Robinson from TV, and Team Rocket in a mess with Anne, she just fainted again.
Suddenly, James has an idea.
He cautiously goes over to Ash, and quickly picks out his Poke-dex, and scurries back to Jesse and the dead cat.
James points the Poke-dex at Ash and the broccoli, and listens to it's response...
Poke-dex: Ash: the dumb Pokemon. He...uh...Ash, did you know that you have broccoli stuck
in your teeth?
Ash(furiously): 'eck! (Yes!)
Poke-dex: Oh, ok. Anyway, to get rid of that, you will need a really, really big toothpick, oh, and some floss.
James: I have a better idea! We could use a plant pokemon. Victreebell, I choose...mmph! Mshdf!
So with the Victreebell sucking on his head, James can't fight (big whoop).
Jesse has a better idea, and gets out Ash's Bulbasaur.
Jesse: Bulbasaur, I choose you!
Bulbasaur comes out, and has an idea too!
He cuts down a tree...somehow...and uses the tree as a battering ram (uh oh!).
Bulbasaur charges at the broccoli, and with a mighty heave, shoves it out of Ash's mouth.
Ash: gggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssspppppppppppppppppp.
Looks blankly at the big chunk of broccoli.
Ash: I am never going to forget to floss again!
Misty wakes up and asks what happened.
Brock: I don't know. It sounded like Ash had a giant piece of broccoli stuck in his teeth, but even he isn't that stupid.
Everyone else: .....
James: We'll, we'd better get going.
Jesse (under her breath): I am never coming near these twerps again.
Jesse (out loud): Hey! What happened to Meowth?
Ash: Well, thanks a whole bunch! Come on, Pikachu.
And so Ash, Misty and Brock continued on their journey towards some random town and team rocket made up a better opening theme.
THE END
Tadda!!! Never before seen footage (I mean, never-before seen fanfic...) of Jesse and Jame's try at a new opening theme! This was inspired by their last adventure. IT IS VERY STUPID.
Jesse: To protect the world from vegetation.
James: To give free floss to the population.
Jesse: To condemn the evils of mouth bacteria.
James: To give out free brushes in the cafeteria!
Jesse: Jesse!
James: Uh, what's my name again?
Both: Team Floss It blast off at the speed of spit!
Floss and brush now or you'll regret it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, but that's ok, because I like Gundam Wing better so HAH!
Ash, Misty, and the dood that never opens his eyes were walking along... again... with the yellow flea-bitten rat in tow. "Pikachu" it intelligently remarks.
Ash: What's that, Pikachu? I have broccoli in my teeth?
Brock: ....
Misty: -_-;;;; He needs a job.
And just when they need a distraction, who should pop out of the bushes but "Team Rocket", the people with the indestructible hair, and the cat... thing.
Jesse: To protect the world.... You know what? Why the heck are we supposed to protect the world from devastation? We are supposed to cause it, aren't we? Anyways, we have better things to do... like..... floss.....
James: Yeah, maybe our boss will come up with something better.
Jesse: But while we're here, we might as well pick on these kids. Oh, and short brat... you have broccoli in your teeth.
Ash: We don't need you around! I already have Jean Luc, I mean... Pikachu here to tell me when I have broccoli in my teeth!
Pikachu: Pika Pi! Chu!!
Ash: What? You want me to get a toothpick? Good idea! Do you have one?
James: Oooh! I have a used one! Will that work?
Jesse nudges him hard in the ribs.
Jesse: You moron! We're the bad guys! Well...then again...it is pretty gross. Oh, what the heck! Here you go, jerk!
Jesse tosses Ash the toothpick, but it falls into a muddy puddle.
Ash goes over and gingerly picks it out of the puddle.
Ash: Oh well, too bad.
Ash picks at his teeth, and gets the broccoli out, which falls onto Pikachu's head.
Pikachu: *#@*&@!! Pika!!!
Pikachu electrocutes Ash, and fries the broccoli.
The broccolli falls onto the ground, and Meowth calmly walks over and eats it.
Meowth: Wow! This is good! You gotta give me the recipe!
Jesse&James: -_-;;;; Didn't you just see where that came from?
Meowth: .... No. Why?
Misty faints, and no one bothers to catch her, so she just falls and hits her immense (overly heavy) head. *thunk!*
During all of this confusion, Brock just stands there, since he didn't see anything.
Pikachu: Pika Pika pika etc. !!!!! Chu!
Ash: Huh? I STILL have some in my teeth?!?!
Pikachu: Pika *etc.*
Ash: It's GROWING? And moldy? And it's making scary faces at you?!
Brock: What the heck is going on here?
No one bothers to answer him because Misty is passed out, team rocket and the pokemon are grossed out, and Ash can't talk because the broccoli had reached an alarming size and was still growing.
Ash: Mfffmffblfff!
Jesse: He said he can't breathe!
James: WE GOTTA HELP HIM! And I know JUST what to do!
He runs... somewhere and comes back with pruning scissors and goes to work. He's cutting so fast that a cloud of dust forms around him and when it clears, there is an impressively gruesome yet well-cut unicorn bush.
Jesse: It's head it too big!
James: Is not!
Jesse: Is too!
James: Is not!
Jesse: Is too!
James: Is too!
Jesse: Is not... HEY!
Ash: mmmmffff... 0.o *gag*
Nobody notices that the poor boy has become an unusual shade of purple. Pikachu is worried about the unicorn that keeps on squirming and making faces at him. Meowth has dropped dead because of food poisoning. Jesse and James finally finished their argument and realized that Ash was kinda suffocating....
James: Gee, Ash, you don't look so good. Are you ok?
Ash: (thinking: must...... get........ air........ DO I LOOK OK TO YOU, FREAKIN MORON?!!!!!) says: mmmfffsrrrr *gurgle*
The best he can do is shake his head, which causes the broccoli to whap team rocket to the sky and they are so grossed out they forget to say that they're blasting off again. The star they turn into is green.... Um, anyways.... Pikachu has whipped out a cell-phone outta somewhere and in his best cop voice says: "Pika pipi chu pi" Translation: We are in serious trouble here.
So in the distance we hear sirens and who should arrive but... MARTHA STEWART!
Brock: *falls at her feet* (he must have smelled her or something) I LOVE YOUR SHOW!
Martha: Thanks, young man whose eyes don't open. But how can you watch it if your eyes are...
She is cut short by a rather desperate Ash.
Martha: Oh, young man! You don't grow plants in your mouth, silly boy! But if you insist, we'll put in some NICE soil (stuffs his mouth with worm crap) and mix it with water (pours in water and jabs his mouth with a shovel) and soon you'll have a BEAUTIFUL rotten-broccoli garden! But I have to film soon, gotta go!
She waves to a dumbfounded Pikachu and takes off on her motorcycle making funny siren noises with her mouth. Pikachu sighs and whips out the handy phone once again.
Pikachu punches in the wrong number because he is a rat with three fingers, and because he is in such a hurry. Then he hears a voice on the phone. Probably female, he decides.
Phone lady: Hello? Who is this?
Pikachu (in a human voice): Hello. I'm having some trouble here. I need help.
Pikachu thinks it's the police, so he uses his cool detective voice.
Phone lady: Ok Bye.
Pikachu puts away the phone and waits.
Suddenly, he hears the roar of a tow truck, and it comes into view and parks next to the now unconscious Ash.
The lady takes off her helmet and says...
Anne Robinson: You ARE the WEAKEST LINKKKKK! Hullo! I'm Anne Robinson.
Pikachu suddenly falls in love with her, but instead tries to smile.
But what forms on his face is a lemon-sucking expression.
Anne decides to ignore it, and goes over to the broccoli unicorn, or what's left of it. Now it resembles something you would cough up after eating a moldy hot dog. Or a swamp-monster from the black lagoon. We could really get into detail, folks, but if we do the story won't get told! Soooo.......
Anne: Oh. Tsk, tsk. I had a bad case of "Rotten Broccoli in my teeth" after my lunch at Pizza Hut. It wasn't a pretty sight, believe me.
Then, suddenly, Team Rocket falls back down, right onto Anne.
Anne: Oof!
Team rocket: Wheee!
Ash: I 'ee elk! (I need help)
Brock: What?! Ash eats elk?!!!!!!!!!!!
During all of this confusion, Misty wakes up. But at the sight of the broccoli, Anne Robinson from TV, and Team Rocket in a mess with Anne, she just fainted again.
Suddenly, James has an idea.
He cautiously goes over to Ash, and quickly picks out his Poke-dex, and scurries back to Jesse and the dead cat.
James points the Poke-dex at Ash and the broccoli, and listens to it's response...
Poke-dex: Ash: the dumb Pokemon. He...uh...Ash, did you know that you have broccoli stuck
in your teeth?
Ash(furiously): 'eck! (Yes!)
Poke-dex: Oh, ok. Anyway, to get rid of that, you will need a really, really big toothpick, oh, and some floss.
James: I have a better idea! We could use a plant pokemon. Victreebell, I choose...mmph! Mshdf!
So with the Victreebell sucking on his head, James can't fight (big whoop).
Jesse has a better idea, and gets out Ash's Bulbasaur.
Jesse: Bulbasaur, I choose you!
Bulbasaur comes out, and has an idea too!
He cuts down a tree...somehow...and uses the tree as a battering ram (uh oh!).
Bulbasaur charges at the broccoli, and with a mighty heave, shoves it out of Ash's mouth.
Ash: gggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssspppppppppppppppppp.
Looks blankly at the big chunk of broccoli.
Ash: I am never going to forget to floss again!
Misty wakes up and asks what happened.
Brock: I don't know. It sounded like Ash had a giant piece of broccoli stuck in his teeth, but even he isn't that stupid.
Everyone else: .....
James: We'll, we'd better get going.
Jesse (under her breath): I am never coming near these twerps again.
Jesse (out loud): Hey! What happened to Meowth?
Ash: Well, thanks a whole bunch! Come on, Pikachu.
And so Ash, Misty and Brock continued on their journey towards some random town and team rocket made up a better opening theme.
THE END
Tadda!!! Never before seen footage (I mean, never-before seen fanfic...) of Jesse and Jame's try at a new opening theme! This was inspired by their last adventure. IT IS VERY STUPID.
Jesse: To protect the world from vegetation.
James: To give free floss to the population.
Jesse: To condemn the evils of mouth bacteria.
James: To give out free brushes in the cafeteria!
Jesse: Jesse!
James: Uh, what's my name again?
Both: Team Floss It blast off at the speed of spit!
Floss and brush now or you'll regret it!