I gently grasped her hand. They felt soft and at ease. I was so nervous and my heart was just about to leap out of my chest. I looked at her innocent eyes as they stared right back at me in the most endearing way. I could tell that she was just as nervous, probably even more so. I slightly raised my free hand and brushed her beautiful, dark hair behind her ear. I tried to clear my throat. I knew exactly what to say for I had rehearsed this moment many times in the bathroom mirror. I thought of all the lines I was going to say and just like that I had forgotten them. She made me so nervous I couldn't even begin what I wanted to say.

We stood there in the night. At the viewpoint that overlooked all of the city. It had felt like an eternity being there. My stomach warmed and face grew a shade of red whenever she had given me that sincere smile that I love so much. I looked at her, gathering as much courage as I could. I was fearful. Afraid of what she would say because I have the habit of worrying too much. "I… I lo-..." I stuttered. She gave me one of her amazing smiles and my fear vanished.

She leaned into me and softly kissed me. I felt her warmth embrace me as I was bursting with joy on the inside. Butterflies fluttered, my throat was sandy, and my legs turned to jelly. We departed and she had gathered me in her arms as she rested her chin on my shoulder. She whispered into my ear, "I love you too." I gently placed my arms around her as well and rested there, taking in her sweet scent.

We stood there for longer in each others arms as if we were in our own private cozy atmosphere. I did not only adore this girl, I loved her with my heart. I was not only fond of her, I had devoted my heart to her. We shared our intimacy, our familiarity, our own rapport. "You're amazing," I said to her. She giggled and said, "Thanks, you are too." She ruffled my hair with her hand and we shared a laugh. She looked out ahead over the city, "Ya know, I was so happy you asked me to come. It was so unexpected. I'm… I'm glad." She looked down and tapped her fingers together, blushing a beautiful red. I blushed just looking at her. I said to her, "Well, I did want to spend time with you. I'm glad I get to be here by your side and see such a beautiful view… oh, and the city too!" She softly laughed.

Her face grew serious in a matter of seconds. She looked up and I realized tears were streaming down her cheeks. She said, "It's just that people tend to stay away from me. I was just surprised you even attempted to talk to me the first time we met." It was true. People had stayed away from her. No one even dared to look her away and for no reason at all. I had sympathized for her. She sat next to me in class and so I had talked to her. After a while people questioned me as to why I even bothered. I couldn't even answer that but that didn't matter. I had given her the chance and even though it took a while she finally let me into her life. We smiled, laughed and walked together. Over time she made me happy and being away from her only made me feel the opposite. She had the power to make me feel on top of the world as well as make me feel desolate.

I got closer to her and wiped her tears. I looked at her and said, "I don't regret one bit ever talking to you that one day. What matters is us standing here right now. What matters is what you'd say if I asked 'Will you be with me forever?' You're what is important to me and as long as you're with me, you don't need to be alone anymore." She cried even more and dug her face into my jacket. All I could do was rest my face on the top of her head and place my arms around her, cradling her. "I love you." She said, "I love you."

I opened my eyes and they stung with tears. I looked down at my arms and had seen there was a pillow between them. Clenched in my hand was a crumpled picture of her. I cried as I looked at it. I cleared my throat and stood up from my bed. I looked at my room and saw the place was in a vast mess. The floor was littered with empty alcohol bottles and trash were in spots here and there. I dragged my feet as I made my way to the bathroom. I entered and look into the mirror. I stared into my dead and lifeless eyes. They looked tired. Tired because it's been almost four years. My face was looking pale and I had stained tear trails down my face. I was a mess. I only sighed and reached up to open the mirror cabinet. I got a container full of pills and I opened the bottle. I shook two pills onto the palm of my hand and just stared at them. After a few seconds I ate them.

I slowly walked back to my bed and saw the crumpled picture of her lying there. Tears threatened to fall as I made my way to the bed. I sat down at the edge and placed my face into my hands. "I thought we'd be together forever. I love you so much. I love you so much." I burst into tears. "Why did you have to die?" I said, "Why did you have to die?"