A/N: I have fallen behind in this series a lot, but at one time it was my favorite TV show and Rumple and Belle remain my favorite characters. I wrote this today as a way to vent some realizations I have had recently and in the past that have been on my mind. The recent one is one I realized today. That's actually the first one I used this to vent for cause it was at the forefront of my mind and then it evolved into venting about something else as well.

This is intended to be a one-shot in an AU I don't really intend to do anything with. I have another AU that I started years ago that I do plan to do things with, and will be better written and much longer since it's not just vent work. In this one-shot AU, the OC is from our world and through various events ended up in the Enchanted Forest where they struggled to find their way until they came across Belle while she was in town waiting for Rumple to handle some type of business and had been accosted by some jerk. I haven't worked out the details, since I don't plan to do much with this AU, but long story short, the OC saves her and ends up staying with Rumple and Belle in the castle and has been privy to seeing their relationship bloom.

Now, let's just continue so we can then move on, huh?

Once Upon a Vent

I stared up at the night sky as I laid on the roof of the Dark One's castle with Belle and Rumplestiltskin, the Dark One himself. The two of them, for reasons baffling to me, thought I needed to spend a night star gazing with them after I revealed that I couldn't really see the stars that much where I had lived previously. They acted as if I had been deprived from one of life's truly beautiful things. It was really nice of them and I felt so undeserving of it, especially coming from Rumple, who had no reason to be nice to me at all. Belle I could understand being kind to me, since I had saved her life, but I was at a loss on Rumple, unless maybe he cared a great deal more about Belle than he let on.

But my mind was on different matters. Past matters that had my mouth forming a deep frown, even as the stars above twinkled, as if beckoning me on to explore more.

"What's with that face?" Belle asked, noticing the frown.

"I was just thinking," I told her and then hesitated a moment. "Do you think I'm a weak person, Belle?"

"Of course not," Belle said. "If you were weak, you'd have not rescued me from that idiot in town. A weak person would've stood by and done nothing."

"You don't think my faith makes me weak?" I asked her, voice smaller than I expected it to be.

"Whoever told you that, dearie?" Rumple asked, his voice sounding kind of amused by the idea.

"My ex," I said.

"Your ex told you that?" Belle asked. "Wait, you have an ex?"

"He implied it," I replied, even as Belle looked at me in shock and surprise, while Rumple looked at me with an unreadable expression. "And yes, I have an ex. I have three, actually. Though the first didn't last very long before they decided I wasn't good enough for them. The second I broke up with, because he was pushy and his actions told me he thought I wasn't good enough. The third is the one I am talking about, the one whom at one point I thought I was going to marry." I paused a moment, staring up at the stars. "Periodically while we were together he would say stuff like "God is a crutch" and "I don't need God to survive" and when he broke up with me, he said both those things with the addage of "I don't want to date someone who follows God"..." I paused for a moment. "I never really thought about it, just kind of brushed it off as misunderstanding...which it is, in a way, but it also kind of implies that I am weak for my faith. That because he viewed me as weak, I wasn't good enough…"

"And what do you think? Do you think you are weak?" Belle asked.

I hummed in thought. "Well, no," I said. "I did wonder for a long time what was wrong with me. Why I seemed doomed to be alone. Why I was never good enough. But...I think….recognizing that implication of his makes it easier to accept that I was wrong...that in the end, it's better it fell apart then, because God knows if it had when we were married, it would've destroyed me further. Let's not even get into what it would have done to me if we had had a kid. And makes me realize, I was never going to be good enough for him. My faith is part of me. I can't, and won't, just toss it aside for some guy who doesn't have the same commitment for me as I hold for them. Though I know that is hardly the only reason for it ending badly, it feels kind of silly being broken up about it when he thought such now."

"It's not silly," Belle said. "You loved him, of course you're gonna be broken up about it."

"Loved a guy who saw me and saw a weak person, saw someone who wasn't good enough," I sighed. "I walked right into that situation. You live, you learn. As I said, I'm just glad I didn't have a kid with the guy. I want to be a mother, but that situation would've hurt the kid, no matter how I spun it. At least there are things I can say "Well, at least…" about it."

"Indeed, dearie," Rumple agreed. "And don't worry. There is probably someone out there for you."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Maybe, Rumple," I sighed out the breath. "But I don't have my hopes up."

"I know, dearie," Rumple said and I could hear nothing but pure understanding in his tone.

We fell into a companionable silence as we studied the night sky. After a few minutes we started chatting and I shared with them my love of space and desire to go out and know what's out there someday, even if that day is when I die and go to heaven. Belle remarked that I was an adventurous spirit at that and I couldn't help but agree.

"My mom told me once that I was always the more adventurous one between my brother and I," I shrugged. "I was always out doing him as a kid with doing daring things, like climbing monkey bars, ect. My brother just...worried too much, I think. He was always the more cautious one of us. It's kind of funny. Our elder sister is both adventurous and cautious. So, it's like when Mom had us, we were her first split into two."

Belle laughed. "And what did your father think of that fact?"

"I wouldn't know," I shrugged. "He made his choice to remove us from his life when I was still young. I know Mom used to have to play guard dog with our food cause he would try to eat it while we were playing, we never could sit still to eat. And as I grew older I came to understand that the things he did to Mom were….abusive. He tried once, to blame Mom for everything, but I was old enough by that time to see the truth. I think I burned that letter. He only spoke to my brother to ask about social security. And then we never heard from him again. He had no excuse, we weren't hard to find. He knew where we lived, how to contact us. He just cut us off...so we moved on."

"I'm sorry, that must have been rough," Belle said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Not as rough as what Mom put up with for our sakes," I sighed. "It's hard being the child of a man who didn't want you, but it's worse what he did to her. If I am strong, I get it from her. She wasn't perfect by any means, but I will always be proud to be her daughter, even if I may never see her again."

"Well, you mustn't lose hope, dearie," Rumple told me.

"Only if you don't lose hope about seeing your son again," I told him. I glanced up at him when he was silent. "We have a deal?" I held out a hand.

He looked conflicted, but after a moment he took my hand. "The deal is struck then."