Title: Awry

Author: Indigo Night

Summary: Jack decides to be funny, but Ianto isn't amused, especially when Jack's plans go awry.

Feedback: Yes please, yay reviews!

Pairing: Janto

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or the characters I'm just borrowing them for fun.

Spoilers: None.

Warnings: Slash, nakedness, mention of male genitalia, and fluff.

Author's Note: Dedicated to Becca who gave me the prompt. It took me much longer than it should have to write this, so I hope it lives up to your expectations :P Read, Review,

Enjoy!

Ianto crept cautiously through the main room of the Hub. He was on high alert, every sense strained to breaking. He peered around Gwen's work station, piled untidily with papers. A faint sound made him jump and whirl on his heel, but it was just the pterodactyl shifting in its nest.

He let out a shaky breath of relief. Relax Ianto, he told himself, deep breaths; he needed to stay focused.

"You're getting warmer," a sultry voice murmured in his ear. He started and turned again before he remembered his comm. link was in. "Have you decided what you're going to do to me when you find me yet?"

Heat coiled in Ianto's gut at the tantalizing words. He narrowed his eyes, scanning the area around him for any hint, any small movement to give him a clue.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he answered voice equally low and heated. He definitely had a few ideas. A soft huff that was somewhere between a chuckle and a moan came back through the link.

"You have to find me first."

Ianto's eyes caught just the briefest shift in his periphery vision and he slowly edged toward it. He moved up the steps as quietly as he could, but the grate creaked under his feet making him wince. Nevertheless, he kept moving carefully; he was certain he'd seen movement at the end of the bridge, just the quickest flash of flesh.

He arrived at the end of the rail, ready to spring down and surprise his prey, but froze in confusion. There was nothing there. He leaned against the handrail, frowning as his eyes swept the area repeatedly. He'd been so sure…

Suddenly there was a clang, a triumphant Aha!, and cold metal wrapped around his wrist. He cursed and jerked back automatically in surprise but was brought up short to find that the thick metal cuff now attached around his wrist was connected to a short chain at the other end of which was a second cuff now attached to the hand railing.

"Jack!" he protested, tugging reflexively at the handcuff.

Jack's smirking face appeared over the railing beside him. "Gotcha."

"Very funny," Ianto huffed, "Now take them off."

"Oh no," Jack slid between the rails to stand next to Ianto, "We're going to have some fun first."

Ianto narrowed his eyes at him. He wasn't totally opposed to the idea… but the main room really just wasn't the best place.

"Jack," he admonished, trying to sound serious.

"Get yourself out," Jack teased, dangling the keys from one finger just out of Ianto's reach.

Ianto growled and made a lunge for the keys. Jack pulled back, attempting to dodge, but by now Ianto knew him well enough to guess which way he'd go, though his trajectory was just a bit off. They clashed, Ianto's hand landing hard on Jack's shoulder rather than catching his hand like he'd meant to. Nevertheless, there had been enough force behind his lunge to knock Jack slightly off balance giving Ianto a slight advantage as he grappled one handed.

Ianto almost had it; he was so close as he felt his fingertips grazed the metal heated by Jack's grip. He snatched for it, but at that exact moment Jack lost his precarious balance and the keys fell from his hand as he tried to straighten himself.

With a crash and a clatter Jack ended up flat on his naked ass while the key fell through the grated walkway into a vent and away out of sight. They both froze, Jack staring up at Ianto looking vaguely surprised to find himself on the floor while Ianto stared down the vent after the long gone key.

"Oops," Jack tried to joke, giving Ianto his most disarming lopsided grin. But Ianto just turned murderous eyes on him. "Relax, relax," Jack hedged quickly, holding his hands up in self-defense, though he couldn't make the smile completely disappear, "I have a spare in my office."

"I suggest you go and get it then," Ianto said tightly, in a voice that didn't at all sound like a suggestion.

Jack bounded to his feet with all of his usually grace, seemingly entirely unaffected by the fact that he was naked. "You know I get all tingly when you boss me around like that," he teased, trying to lighten Ianto's mood.

And damn it if Jack didn't know exactly how to distract him. The wily ex-time agent crowded close to Ianto, using every bit of advantage his very naked body and advanced 51st century hormones gave him. The lightest dusting of sweat gathered on his chest from the exertion of their game and his cock stood half hard between his legs because, well, he hadn't been kidding about getting the tingles.

Despite his very great indignation, Ianto had to lock his knees to keep them from quivering. Jack knew exactly the effect he had on Ianto and the bastard had no objections to using it against him.

"Jack," Ianto tried to make the name sound low and threatening, but it came out much more hoarse and aroused. It didn't at all help that he'd had to inhale in order to speak and that delicious scent that was so unique Jack assaulted his nose.

Assured that Ianto was distracted enough not to attack him again, Jack shifted seductively close enough to almost press their chests together. He let his lips hover less than an inch from Ianto's, holding his gaze like a snake hypnotizing its prey. "Yes dear?" he murmured playfully, though his tone added a much darker insinuation that made Ianto shiver.

Ianto's breath caught in his throat, lodged behind his heart which had abruptly leapt there. Jack was so close, hovering just over him, his smell and the heat of his body nearly over powering, not to mention that even half hard the man was impressive. Ianto leaned toward him, straining slightly against the cuff restraining him. He leaned until their lips met, Jack's parting unresistingly at his touch. He shifted just enough to bring their thighs into contact, but not quite touch their groins as he let his free hand slide slowly up Jack's chest, running over smooth muscles.

He parted Jack's lips but didn't move beyond that, simply maintaining contact until he felt Jack all but quivering against him and he knew he'd won. "Key, now," he whispered, gentle as silk over steel and pulled away with satisfaction. Two could play at the game of seduction.

Jack blinked, looking vaguely lost by the abrupt lack of contact. Then his eyes narrowed as he realized he'd been out-sexed. "Fine," he relented, throwing his hands up in the air, "But after I get the key, you are following through on that promise!" he pointed a finger accusingly at Ianto as he stormed off to his office, dick bobbing along proudly in time to his steps.

Ianto allowed himself a small smile at the sight; at first he'd found Jack's total openness and lack of shame unsettling and vaguely embarrassing, but now it was just in equal parts attractive and hilarious. Once Jack was gone, however, he sagged against the rail he was chained too. It was one thing to play games around the Hub in the dark of the night when they were both constantly moving and very much engaged in what they were doing. Now that he stopped and became truly aware of it, it was deeply awkward and unsettling to be naked in the middle of the main room where the whole team spent their time on a daily basis. Although admittedly just standing there naked was probably among the least embarrassing things he and Jack had done around the Hub. He started to count the surfaces they'd done it on, but stopped quickly as he felt a blush creeping up his neck.

Also, the rail he was leaning against was cold; he stood up again quickly.

Shifting from foot to foot impatiently he craned his neck to try to see through the door to Jack's office. "What's keeping you?" he called. Unfortunate incident aside, he was still very much turned on and as soon as he was loose he fully intended to drag Jack down to his bunk and follow through on his insinuation.

Jack didn't answer him, through the sound of things shifting around and soft cursing did float through the door. The longer Jack took the more colorful the cursing became, and the more Ianto's heart sank.

"Jack," he called pointedly, beginning to get nervous.

Jack's head poked around the door, expression caught somewhere between sheepish and defensive. "It's here… somewhere," he said, unreassuringly, "Just give me a minute."

A minute passed. Then three. Then six more. Ianto shifted, tugging at the cuff as though half hoping chance would smile on him for once and it would just fall off. No such luck.

After twenty minutes Jack emerged from his office and looked around with a look of flustered concentration. Then he paused, frowning around the room in before heading purposefully toward the autopsy room. Eventually he returned, still empty handed.

Ianto watched his movements with increasing apprehension.

An hour later Ianto had given in and sat down on the floor, his arm stretched uncomfortably above his head. He rested his head against his arm, tired and bored, while his eyes automatically continued tracking Jack's movements around the Hub. The metal grating dug irritatingly into his bare ass and he was faintly chilly.

"Can't you just pick the lock?" he asked eventually. Objectively, he knew later they would both find this whole incident hilarious, but it looked as though that moment would be very, very far in the future.

"They aren't earth handcuffs," Jack answered distractedly, as he crawled around under Tosh's workstation, "Unbreakable and unpickable."

"Of course it is," he sighed, "You decided to be funny with some alien technology."

"They're not alien," Jack protested, "They're mine."

"You said they aren't from earth."

"Yeah, neither am I," he reminded, working to untangle himself from the mass of wires beneath Tosh's desk.

Ianto sighed and let his head thump back against the pole behind him. "When you finally do get me loose, I'm going to kill you," he said bluntly.

"Well that's not much incentive, is it?" Jack joked, but it fell flat. Freed from the wires he came over and knelt in front of Ianto, dropping his grin. "Are you okay?" he asked seriously.

Ianto shot him a glare, though the genuine concern and flickering of guilt in Jack's eyes softened it a little. "I'm fantastic," he deadpanned.

"I really didn't mean for this," Jack at least had the decency to look abashed.

"I know," Ianto had to admit, though anger still coiled in his gut. "It's almost morning," he pointed out, "The others will be coming in soon." He had to swallow back horror at the thought.

Jack bit his lip. "I've looked everywhere. It's got to be here somewhere, I just don't know where."

"Well I can't just stay like this," Ianto said practically, trying very, very hard not to think about the reactions of the rest of the team when they arrived.

"You sure?" Jack joked, "I bet it'd brighten their mornings." But he was met with a murderous look and backed down quickly. "I'll find your pants." He stood quickly and bounded off.

Locating Ianto's pants was relatively easy and Jack returned quickly with them. He tried his luck one more time, using his best moves, but Ianto kept looking at the clock anxiously; Tosh often came in early to take advantage of the relative quiet.

Relenting, Jack helped him into his pants. It was one of the most inelegant maneuvers either of them had managed, which was probably saying something. Once his pants were secured they spent several minutes puzzling over the possibility of a shirt, but eventually concluded that there would be no way possible to get it over his cuffed wrist. The rest of the team would get a bit of a treat after all, the thought of which Jack had the restraint not to grin obnoxiously about… to Ianto's face.

Jack lingered before retreating to his bunker to dress himself. "Do you want some coffee?" he offered, half hoping to appease he lover's aggravation and half out of genuine guilt.

Ianto considered the idea. He'd gotten very little sleep thanks to Jack's games, not that that was uncommon really, but he was tired and would likely be standing there for quite a while. It was very tempting, but… "What happens when I have to relieve myself?" he queried practically. Though realistically he would have to eventually anyway, but there was no sense exacerbating the problem, no matter how lovely a steaming cup of coffee sounded.

Jack winced slightly, face apologetic. "Right," he agreed. "As soon as I'm dressed I'll keep looking," he promised.

Less than an hour later Toss and Gwen entered with steaming cups of coffee and doughnuts, apparently discussing something deeply amusing. Both stopped short however in surprise at the sight of Ianto standing awkwardly, chest bared and handcuffed to the railing.

"Morning, ladies," he muttered as offhandedly as he could, failing to suppress a blush.

"Uhm, good morning, Ianto," Gwen responded with a raised eyebrow, "Is everything… alright?"

"Fine," Ianto answered with a forced smile, "Just fine."

"Is Jack… here?" Tosh asked, peering around as though Jack might jump out from behind a cabinet, which to be fair wouldn't be terribly shocking.

"Down in the archives, I believe," he supplied helpfully. The girls nodded, their eyebrows were still raised but to Ianto's relief they didn't ask any further questions and went quietly to their workstations.

Owen, when he arrived a little while later, was not nearly so kind. After several crude and humorous (for anyone but Ianto) comments, it took Jack's return to the main room to shut him up.

The morning passed in relative quiet. Ianto sat with as much dignity as he could muster with his arm was handcuffed above his head, while Jack continued searching for the key with the others' intermittent help. But he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable; he alternated between sitting and standing, though no matter what he did either his arm or his legs began to ache, and beyond that he was tired, thirsty, and hungry.

The girls were sympathetic, and so was Jack, though Ianto suspected his motivations were directly linked to his desire to get laid within the next month. Owen was little help beyond doing his best to keep things humorous.

Just past noon however the quiet was broken as the Rift monitor sounded the alarm and everyone went into high alert. They all perked up automatically and began the routine bustle that precluded packing into the van for an investigation; all of them except for Ianto of course. The rest of them all stopped abruptly at the door, looking faintly confused when they realized Ianto wasn't waiting there with Jack's coat in one hand and the keys in the other. Then they all looked back at him guiltily.

"Go on," he said, waving them off glumly, "Be careful."

Gwen hesitated. "You'll be alright here?" she asked.

"I'll be quite fine," Ianto assured, jiggling his wrist with a sardonic smile, "I can't possibly get into much trouble here, can I?"

Jack lingered a moment longer as the others filed out. "We'll be back soon," he promised before hurrying out.

Ianto sighed and let his head thump back against the railing.

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Several hours later Owen had a new alien species to autopsy, Tosh had several new alien gadgets to fiddle with, and Jack had yet another death to add to his tally (not that he was keeping score or anything).

Jack ran his hand absently through his hair in an attempt to rub away the resurrection headache while fishing with his other hand in his coat pockets. He'd been searching for the keys to the van, but when his hand met with cool, key-shaped metal he it was not the key he was expecting.

"I knew I had it somewhere," he mused, holding up the key with a bemused grin. Ianto was definitely going to kill him.