Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura pouted a littled, eyes watering. She tugged lightly at the hem of her short red skirt, which was edged in white fur. "Why don't you come back?" The bells around her wrists rang clearly as they bounced gently off her smooth, creamy thigh, drawing attention to just how revealing her outfit was.

After all, she was in a red bra and a miniskirt, bells, bows, and fur hanging from the most inappropriate places. The outfit was nothing short of smutty, and it left nothing to the imagination. Besides, how much could you hide with your only covering being red taffeta that hung only about four inches down from your hips?

Beside her, Naruto decided that that was enough. He had to get in on the action. With a few quick hand motions and a poof of smoke, he reappeared, naked and feminine.

"Sasuke-kun…" he cooed. "Come back with us, Sasuke-kun…"

"Sakura… Dobe…" Sasuke stared in shock at the scene in front of him. Sakura was standing there shyly, her toes pointed together just slightly and her cheeks a pretty shade of pink, and Naruto was a girl, his current most intimate parts hidden only by thin plumes of smoke.

Sakura took a step forward, looking at him through her long, pink eyelashes. "We could make you happy, Sasuke-kun… I promise…"

From the sidelines, Sai gave an approving nod. "See? I told them this would work."

Yamato glanced at the pale artist incredulously. "You're kidding, right?"

Sai turned to him with his fake smile on his face. His voice, however, was on the opposite end of the spectrum, as serious as it was emotionless, and he said, "I never kid." He direction his attention back to the speechless Uchiha. "Besides," he added, "look at how well he's reacting."

Sasuke Uchiha was the color of a tomato, left out on the window sill for far too long. He didn't even move back when Sakura and Naruto went right up to him, begging and pleading with their hands clasped, which in turn pushed their breasts together.

One of Sakura's bra straps slid off her shoulder, pulling a little bit of the bra down with it, and Sasuke was thrown off the edge.

He fainted.

"Brilliant idea, Sai. Really, this is fantastic," Yamato sighed.

Sai shrugged, strolling over and picking up the Uchiha like he was a sack of flour; none too gently. "Well, they said to bring him back."

"Yeah, but I think they wanted him to come willingly."

Sai smiled, his expression not getting any happier. "Don't worry. I'm pretty sure he's coming willingly." He gave a pointed look towards the very exposed Sakura and the very shameless Naruto.

Sakura, hearing his words, turned a bright shade of red.

Mission: Retrieve Sasuke

Team: Team Kakashi, Yamato, Sai, Sakura, Naruto

Status:

"…"

"You didn't fill out the last one."

"We weren't really sure what to write…"

"Why?"

"Well, we got him back, but…"

"But what?"

"He died… of blood loss."

"I told you to bring him back, not kill him!"

"We didn't fight!"

"So how'd he get wounded?"

"Actually, Tsunade-shishou… it was a nosebleed…"

"A nosebleed?"

"Hai."

"Who planned out the mission?"

"Sai did."

"What exactly was the plan?"

Said artist whispered something in the Sannin's ear.

"You're kidding."

"I never kid."

Dirty, dirty, dirty! Ha ha ha... how like Sai, to come up with the weirdest, most inappropriate plan. And Sasuke's so socially awkward, he probably wouldn't know what to do if Sakura and Naruto went up and used their feminine wiles on him! Please review. It's always the highlight of my day XD.

- Red