A/N: Hiya! Ok, so I got this idea after seeing 'My Own Worst Enemy'. I loved it so much! The first scene, I love the way Maura's eyes light up he she sees Ian. It' such a look of pure love, not lust. I love it so much and I hope we see more of Ian soon! This episode made me sooooo happy I loved it

Just one question… How come every time Maura gets a blast from the past, he's always in legal trouble? Talk about bad taste in men miss my BFFs are detectives…

He was the love of my life.

I remember the day I met him. I was young; imperfect with my practice of medicine. I was treating a young Ethiopian boy and diagnosed him with dysentery. He pointed out a small note in the boy's physical appearance that would indicate gastroenteritis. I was impressed- with his looks and knowledge.

We soon found ourselves together all the time. We often shared a tent, or sat out under the stars, talking of our lives, of our plans. There was one night in particular I will never forget.

I'd been 25 for 2 months, and I was lovingly made fun of for being the 'baby' of the group.

He was 27. He was anything but a baby. He was a man.

The other volunteer doctors were fast asleep in their respective tents. Just Ian and I lay out, watching the stars, holding hands. We had all the time in the world to sit there and enjoy each other's company. Because, as much as neither one of us wanted to admit it, we knew we didn't really have all the time in the world. My residency would end, his second tour would begin, we would be separated, I would be heartbroken. But I didn't care. As sure as I can be, I loved that man. I think I still do.

As we sat there, he turned to me. I was still laughing from our last round of playing "If I could have 3 things here with me".

"Maura, if Ethiopian had a jewelry store and I was $5,000 richer, I'd marry you tomorrow"

Years later, once she had realized he was something she could never have, she had convinced herself that he was just saying that to get into her pants, a conquest in which he had eventually succeeded. Besides, Ethiopia had no jewelry store, and he wasn't $5,000 richer. There was no reason to believe he had meant his words.

Maura Isles said she didn't follow her intestines. But on that night of being a naïve, lovesick young adult, she felt in her gut that he was speaking from his heart, not just telling her what she wanted to hear.

They had talked about life, of what they wanted.

And there arose the issue.

She wanted a stable job, something she knew she wouldn't be laid off of. She wanted to be doing something she enjoyed. She wanted a family. A nice house in a quiet neighborhood, where her mother and father could visit at their will. She wanted kids and a husband who loved her as much as she loved him.

Ian fit that description.

But that wasn't what he wanted.

He wanted to stay in Africa, helping the helpless; those that no one cared for. He wanted to be a roamer- being stuck with a stable life was the worst thing he could think of.

She knew it could never work.

He was the only thing she wanted and the only thing her trust fund could never get her.

He was her forbidden fruit.

So she was content with seeing him once every few years, sometimes months if she were lucky.

He seemed to come just as she had nearly forgotten him.

She let him keep her in suspense; he tugged at her heart-strings. He controlled her like a marionette. She let him leave her life as quickly as he entered. Truth is, she'd do anything he asked of her. If he asked her to join him, he knew she would.

But Maura Isles wanted a stable life, and she had one. And he would never take that away from her.

So just when he though the heartache was almost gone, he gave in and paid her a visit. He let himself have her, if only for a few days. Then he left, leaving them with a matching set of broken hearts.

And she allowed this. Because, as stable as she loved for her life to be, she needed a little excitement.

Mostly, neither one was willing to leave the way they lived their life, but neither one was willing to really say goodbye.

So they allowed themselves to be each other's forbidden fruit.