(In this first chapter Bolin has Leukemia and Mako takes him to the hospital for his first chemo treatment. Lots of hurt/comfort, angst, and feels.)
The hospital is too bright, too white, too warm. Mako feels blinded as he enters, his brother at his side, and squeezes his eyes together automatically. He glances over at Bolin who has stopped in front of the receptionist's desk, an expression of panic playing across his features. Mako reaches for him automatically, and squeezes his shoulder in what he hopes is a reassuring manner.
As Bolin checks in at the counter Mako takes steadying breathes in an effort to quell his dread. In, out. In, out. In, out. Proper breath control is vital to firebending, and Mako has been practicing it since he was a toddler. Nonetheless he cannot fully control the jolts of anxiety that shoot through him as he thinks about what will soon take place.
The cancer had been detected just a week prior. Seemingly overnight Mako began attributing characteristics to his brother that he never before would have thought to associate with the strapping earthbender: fragile, sickly, frail, infirm. Dark circles had blossomed underneath Bolin's eyes, and he now had large bruises on his left arm where he has repeatedly had blood drawn. A troubled expression seems to have permanently settled onto his features, and he hasn't laughed once since the diagnosis.
They are escorted to a small room without any windows. Even though the furnishings are sparse—only a bed, a chair, and some medical equipment—Mako almost instantly feels claustrophobic. Bolin changes into the pale blue hospital gown silently and lies down on the bed, Mako taking his hand as he lowers himself into the visitor's chair.
The pastel blue of the gown clashes terribly with Bolin's olive skin and emerald eyes, giving Mako the impression that he is even feebler than before. Bolin's lower lip begins to tremble and terrible emotions fill the firebender's chest: anguish over Bolin's fear, despair that he cannot alleviate it, and horrible helplessness which constantly threatens to overwhelm him. Mako swallows away his pain and reminds himself that this isn't about him. He begins to make a sort of shushing sound, and strokes up and down Bolin's arm comfortingly.
The nurse who inserts the IV is incompetent. Mako grits his teeth and feels fire seething within him as she pokes Bolin's left arm multiple times on top of his established bruises. Bolin just bites his lip and stoically stares ahead at the doorframe until she is done. Finally the drugs begin to descend into his arm, and Mako looks away, unable to watch.
After about fifteen minutes, Bolin suddenly motions to be handed a bucket. Mako delivers it to him just in time before he is violently ill. A minute or two passes, and he is ill again, choking and coughing. Mako digs his nails into his palms, hard, in order to distract himself from his brother's distress. It doesn't work; with nothing left in his stomach Bolin dry heaves every few minutes, making dreadful gagging and retching sounds in the process.
After it is over the doctor tells them that they've decided to admit Bolin overnight. Mako only half listens to his explanation; he nods his head as phrases like white blood cell count and extreme side effects are discussed, but doesn't comprehend what is being said. He is too preoccupied with the incongruity of the situation: his sweet little brother, amiable and charismatic, friend to helpless animals, criminals, and street urchins is completely out of place in this cramped room with its blazing brightness, gleaming metallic equipment, and stench of sickness.
Eventually everyone else leaves and dusk falls. The nurse had lowered the back of Bolin's bed so that he is now lying prostrate. He is on his right side, facing Mako, and the earthbender studies his brother's face in the near darkness. Mako tries to smile, but is pretty sure the expression he maintains is closer to a wince. He looks away and bites the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions in check.
"Mako?" Bolin's voice sounds brittle in the dimness.
Mako clears his throat. "Yeah, Bo?" he says gently.
"Will you sing to me?"
Mako couldn't carry a tune in a bucket if his life depended on it, but he agrees instantly anyways. He reaches for Bolin and grips his brother's hand, squeezing it gently and stroking his fingers alongside his calloused palm. Mako begins to tunelessly sing the words their mother used to serenade the boys with when they were small:
Red shines the sun, filled with fire and warmth;
Grey puffs the wind, swirling back and forth;
Blue glints the water, twirling all around;
Green glows the forest, sprouting from the ground.
Mako repeats the unmelodious verse over and over again, wishing he could remember the rest of the poem, until eventually Bolin's eyes close and his breathing steadies. The firebender pulls up his blanket where it has slipped, and props up his own head with his free hand, resting his elbow on the mattress.
Tracing his brother's relaxed features with his eyes, Mako settles in for a long and sleepless night.