Sansa looked over the whore they called Satin as he lounged idly before her on the fur covered bed. He was undeniably attractive but not the sort of man who inhabited her dreams, those were of dashing manly knights and this dark haired youth was almost as feminine as herself. His features were soft, his limbs slender and well formed, and his eyes glinted with a hungry, enticing look.

"I ... do not think you should be here in my chambers"

"I only came to give your ladyship a gift" he softly whispered

She sighed, wearily.

"A lemoncake" he said, rolling the word around in his mouth like a tasty cock.

Sansa's breath caught in her throat and her blood began racing through her veins at the very mention of the word. Satin continued purring seductively;

"Oh but not just any lemoncake, my lady. The lemoniest of lemony lemoncakes that you will ever taste. So lemony it will shame any other lemony lemoncake in all the Seven Kingdoms and beyond. Why, no other lemoncakes will dare claim the title of lemoncake once you have tasted the lemoneyness of this lemony lemoncake. They shall be lemonless in comparison"

"Where..." Sansa asked breathlessly "Where is this wonder?"

Satin unlaced his breeches and they fell away, revealing his erect member, and yes, a wondrous lemoncake perched atop it! It was warm from the oven, rich and crumbly, oozing a sweet lemon glaze. Also cum. Lemony, lemony cum.
Sansa could barely contain herself and fell upon the lemoncake - gobbling it up. Soon the cake was gone, but Sansa didn't stop gobbling. She flashed her eyes up at Satin seductively.

"Works every time", Satin thought to himself. Though he regretted trying the same trick once with fiery Dornish Peppers. His dick had burned so terribly that he had been forced to fuck an icy crack in the Wall for the rest of the night. At that moment the door was violently kicked from its brass hinges. A strident figure burst into the room, a shining red gold crown across his balding head.

"I am King Stannis Baratheon. The FIRST on his name. I am the TRUE AND HONEST King of the Seven Kingdoms and I will not be slandered and mislabeled otherwise"
he gave an irritated grunt

"That just... that...really ticks me off. I have intercepted some SLANDEROUS ravens coming from this abode and I have come to put the curse of R'hllor upon you."
Stannis awkwardly thrust out his hands and waved them at the two, his crown sliding down across his brow as he did so.

Satin stared at Stannis who stared back at Sansa who flashed a blank look up at Satin before staring back at Stannis whose eyes had now glazed over and stared at no one in particular. The boywhore's erection slowly deflated with a soft whistle. All of a sudden, Sandor Clegane, The Hound, leapt into the room brandishing his broadsword.

"In trouble are we, little bird? I'd-"

"I once had a bird" Stannis burst out, interrupting the conversation, "I named it Proudwing".

Everyone stared at their feet in awkward silence. They then proceeded to have stiff, awkward orgy to try and break the tension.

Determined he was going to see his orgasm through to the end, Satin delicately re-garnished his cock with strips of salted veal and finely smoked capon.

"Second course, my lady"

He thrust it into Sansa's eager mouth and she sucked at his hard platter. At the very moment he came, Satin's cock burst into the brightest of flame, it had become Azor Ahai reborn. Sandor gave a roar at the sudden flash of flame, voided his Clegane bowels (get hype) and jumped out the window.

And who

Are you

The proud lord said