Seven Deadly Sins
Okay- so I have no clue why I wrote this but I really wanted to incorporate seven deadly sins into one of these and this is kind of what happened. Plus its a Puckelberry fic! Anyways I've put a few starkid references in it. i'm kind of in that mood cause I just watched another one of their plays.
I hope you guys like it. It was just for fun.
Mr. Schue. looked down at his notebook. He had picked a theme for the week that he was really excited about... SEVEN DEADLY SINS! For halloween! The kids were going to love it. He just needed to figure out how to group them.
He wrote down greed. Who in the group was greedy? They were all suck good kids!
He tapped his pencil on the paper. Santana was kind of greedy with boys... and Rachel was greedy with her solos and Finn was kind of greedy with girls. Mr. Schue. nodded and wrote down their names.
Gluttony.
Well... Mercedes had started that whole tot petition thing... and then there was Lauren...
Pride.
Who didn't have a lot of pride in the group! He sighed. Artie didn't, Tina didn't, Mercedes didn't, Brittany didn't. He wrote down everyone else's names.
Wrath.
That one was easy. He wrote down Santana, Puck, Finn, Quinn, Sam, and Lauren. He knew that from the numerous times he stopped hallway fights.
Envy.
That one was kind of easy too. Santana, Kurt, Rachel, Artie, Finn, Quinn, and Mercedes.
Lust.
Mr. Schue. stopped for a moment. There was definitely Santana, Puck, and Brittany. And then Quinn always cheated on everyone. Kurt and Rachel both got really huge crushes on people and wouldn't stop until they were there's or they were hurt by them. Artie was always making all those sexual jokes too. Finn kept on going after Rachel when he was dating Quinn. And then... he didn't have Tina anywhere else. She didn't really fit into any of the other categories. Well- there was the thing with her and Mike and Artie. So he put down her name.
Sloth
That was unfortunately easy too. He put down Puck, Finn, Lauren, and Brittany.
He looked down at his list. Now all he had to do was split them into groups.
"Okay for sloth we're going to have Brittany and Finn," Mr. Schue said reading off his paper.
Brittany and Finn looked at each other. They were both really confused what a sloth had to do with the seven deadly sins.
"Then for gluttony we have... Lauren and Mercedes"
Mercedes and Lauren looked at each other.
"Mr. Schu- are you sure this was chosen at random?" Mercedes asked.
Mr. Schue nodded nervously.
"Ugh- anyways. Greed is going to be paired with gluttony which will be Santana"
Santana rolled her eyes.
"And then pride will be-"
Mr. Schue spotted Rachel straightening up in her seat confidently. "Mike, Kurt, Blaine and..." he paused. Tina was kind of confident. "Tina"
Rachel frowned.
"You guys can split up into groups of two" Mr. Schue said. The couples immediately held hands.
"Then envy will be Artie which will be pared with wrath which will be Sam and Quinn"
Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Finally lust will be Puck and Rachel"
Rachel and Puck looked at Mr. Schue confused. Finn stood up.
"Ugh... Mr. Schue. Rachel's my girl- Rachel isn't very lusty. I don't really know if it would be cool to have her be singing about lust with some other guy"
Rachel looked down. She hadn't accepted his wanting to get back together again at sectionals last year. He was a jerk to her and... there may or may not be somebody else for her.
"Its fine Finn" she said a little bit.
Puck sighed. He had just broke up with Lauren a few weeks ago and he really wanted a really hot girl to be with- not one that wore animal sweaters. Santana wasn't speaking to him though and neither was Brittany. So he was going to try to go after Quinn. But that would suck because he had to sing about lust with Rachel fricken Berry. The bell rang.
"Well everyone have fun! Get ready to present next week with your costumes on" Mr. Schue said. Then he thought for a moment and turned to Rachel and Puck. "Try to keep it appropriate".
Puck groaned. There was no doubt Berry would.
"I'm sorry we don't have any sloth costumes" the store clerk said.
"There has to be something here" Finn said.
The store clerk looked at the blonde cheerleader and the freakishly tall teenage boy standing in front of her.
"Why do you two want sloth costumes?"
"Because we need to be sloths for halloween. Its part of our groups theme" Finn explained.
"And your theme was... animals?"
"No- seven deadly sins" Brittany said.
The store clerk sighed.
"Oh... sloth means laziness"
"I thought a sloth was an animal" Brittany said confused.
"Yeah- but that's where the word sloth comes from because sloths are so slow"
Finn nodded pretending to be understanding.
"So do you have any costumes for that?" he asked.
"So we need lots of bling. Lots of it. And we need it now!" Santana demanded to the manager at the arts supplies store.
"I really don't think Mr. Schue. chose these at random" Lauren whispered to Mercedes.
"I'm sorry- we don't sell jewelry here"
"Rhinestones! Sequins! Anything shiny! Seriously! Be creative if your going to be calling yourself manager here!"
The manager nodded quickly.
"Right this way ladies" he said.
He lead them through an aisle of everything Santana had listed.. and more.
"Which glitter works better on fabric?" Santana asked examining two bottles.
Lauren and Mercedes rolled their eyes. They were both really jealous of everyone else's sins. They had decided to just sew cut outs of food onto their outfits.
"Which two fabrics look more like a jewelry boxes?" Santana asked holding up red, blue, and black satin looking fabric. The two pointed to the red and black ones.
"Perfect" said Santana. "I am going to look so hot for halloween this year"
Lauren sighed but then Mercedes thought for a moment. While Santana went of to go find some thread to match her fabrics Mercedes turned to Lauren.
"I have a better idea Lauren" she said happily.
Lauren sighed.
"Mercedes- how could we possibly make gluttony look good?"
Mercedes smiled.
"Lauren- what's your favorite food?"
"This is going to be so awesome Blaine!" Kurt said happily. "We're going to be so amazing"
Blaine laughed.
"Yeah- you definitely got the pride thing down"
Kurt rolled his eyes smiling then looked down at his sketches.
"I think we should wear something very flashy that says look at me" he said.
Blaine nodded.
"That would be perfect! And we should try to be outdoing each other!"
Kurt nodded happily.
"Oh! And I know the perfect song for that!" he said.
"We totally got this Kurt!"
"I know!"
"Best team ever!"
"Okay... what do we do now?" Tina asked looking down at her paper. She had drawn the outline of her models for the sketches.
"Um... I have no clue" Mike said.
"Can you think of any songs that I can sing to and you can dance to?"
Mike shrugged.
"Well- um- we'll have this. It will come to us"
Mike nodded.
They were both silent for a moment.
"Maybe we could try a broadway song" Tina suggested.
"Yeah... that could work" Mike said.
"Okay! No! I am not doing that song!" Quinn screamed.
"Come on Quinn! Its funny!" Artie said.
"No! Its weird! Okay!"
"Yeah well I'm not going for the biker look" said Sam.
"Your lucky you get to have that" said Artie.
"I think to look tough I should just wear like what Puck wears or something" said Sam.
"No guys. No! Artie is wearing green and you are going to look like a real badass. I'm wearing leather too okay?" Quinn said looking hopefully at Sam.
"No" he said.
Quinn crossed her arms.
"Whatever but we are going to sing 'Your A God' by vertical horizon. It is a perfectly good song for this" she said.
"Why do you get to make all the rules?" Artie asked.
"I'm just trying to make us look good!" Quinn screamed.
"Well we aren't doing that song!" Sam yelled.
Quinn frowned. Artie wished he was in a different group. They all seemed to be getting along.
Rachel smiled at Puck who was in her room strumming his guitar.
"I think I found a song you'll like" she said happily.
"What?" he asked. He was so bored. He wondered if Quinn would be through with her group soon. He was going to try to ask her out once he could leave Rachel.
"'No Tomorrow' by Orson" Rachel said.
Puck looked at her blankly.
"That song isn't about lust Rachel. Its about a guy having a good time with his girlfriend"
"Okay" Rachel said still smiling.
Puck rolled his eyes. Why was she acting so weird?
"Oh! This is good" she said looking at her computer screen.
"What?"
"All over you by the spill canvas"
Puck sighed.
"Maybe"
Rachel smiled and wrote down the song on a piece of paper.
"Oh- oh no you'll probably hate this song"
Puck didn't say anything. Rachel turned to him.
"Am I boring you?" she asked.
Puck sighed.
"Nope... not at all"
"Cause- you can always tell you if I am"
Puck nodded. She stared at him for a little bit.
"What song did you want to do?" he asked sighing.
"Your gonna laugh"
'Why me! Why did I have to be with her!' Puck thought.
"I swear I will not laugh"
Rachel smiled and took a deep breath.
"Okay... you know that song 'Fool For Love' by Stefy?"
"No" said Puck.
"Oh... then nevermind"
"No. You can show it to me"
Rachel nodded and took a deep breath. There was this weird look in her eye. Like she was nervous and excited or something.
I'm feeling kinda strange
'Cause of all the things you say
Yeah I know, too good to believe
This probably won't work
'Cause your kind of a jerk
And for sure you're way to cool for me
She began using her hairbrush as a microphone and smiling at him. It was really weirding Puck out. What was going on with her? And why would Rachel Berry sing this song?
No matter how I try
Cannot plot to make you cry
So I won't take you seriously
'Cause I miss you so much
I get my panties in a bunch
Everytime your-
"Woah! Berry! Woah! Stop" Puck said.
She looked at him confused.
"Um-" he started. He felt a little hot. What the hell? "I don't think I can sing that song too. Its kind of a chic song".
"Oh... yeah. Your right" Rachel said nodding and sitting down. She seemed a little embarrassed.
Puck quickly crossed his legs.
"Um- ugh..." he started. He looked down at his phone. "I have to go. Can we work on this tomorrow".
Rachel looked kind of sad.
"Oh... okay. You don't want to work on the costumes?"
"No no. I'll take care of that" Puck said getting up quickly walking out of the room. "See you"
Did that seriously just happen? Did Puck seriously get turned on by Rachel freaking Berry? What the hell?
Maybe he was just having an off day. He dialed Quinn's number.
"Hey Quinn," he said.
"Puck? Why are you calling me?"
"I'm not allowed to call you?"
"Well... we never... talk"
"Well maybe we should"
"Puck... are you trying to ask me out- because the answer is no"
"Why not Quinn? We had a fricken baby together!"
"Yes- we did. Because you got me drunk and you went out with other girls the whole time and then went to juvie"
"So?"
"So- I'm not interested"
"Qu-" Puck started but she hung up.
Puck sighed. Seriously? She still had to be holding all of that against him?
"Wow guys. You have seriously found the only way to make a pizza and cupcake look cute" Santana said a little bitterly.
Mercedes twirled around in her pink skirt and top that was pink with little silver and colorful dots all over the bottom half of it and was red with a cherry stem for a sleeve on the top. Lauren had on yellow pants with red dots on them and a bread colored long sleeve top. The two of them grinned at Santana.
"Thanks it was Mercedes idea" said Lauren.
Santana nodded.
"Well then all we need is our song," she said slipping into her short black dress with a red sash around the middle and on the hem and a small line of it outlining the cut on top of her dress. She had bedazzled pretty much the whole thing with different colored rhinestones. She wore metallic silver high heeled boots and bedazzled false eyelashes.
"Wow you look amazing" said Mercedes still a little jealous.
"Thanks," she said.
"So song" Lauren said. "I got one from one of my favorite movies"
"Is it 'Oliver Twist'" Santana asked grinning.
Lauren sighed.
"No. The song is not 'Food Glorious Food'. Plus- that wouldn't even go with you. Your greed. The song is about kids begging for food"
"Okay- well then what song has to do with food and greed that's in a movie?"
Lauren smiled.
"I thought you really liked Puck" Sam said.
"No I don't! I never did. It was just one huge mistake" Quinn said back.
"What about..." Sam started. "Nevermind"
Quinn looked down.
"No... Finn was a mistake too. He's an idiot. You aren't an idiot. I'm an idiot"
"Hey- no your not"
"Yeah I am Sam! I'm an effin idiot!"
"N-" Sam started.
"Hey guys" Artie said rolling up to them.
They were both kind of quiet. Artie felt like he was sort of missing out on something here.
Everyone walked into the choir room except for Rachel and Brittany and Finn. Puck just sat where he was not really caring. That was until...
"Noah! I was trying to get in touch with you all weekend! Did you get my text?"
"Ugh... yeah sure"
"Well you didn't text me back Noah!" Rachel said angrily sitting down with the group crossing her arms.
Kurt and Blaine laughed at the complete accidental reference to a very potter sequel.
"Well everyone settle down" said Mr. Schue. happily. "We have our first performance today by Brittany and Finn. Okay guys! We're ready!" he called out.
Everyone started clapping until they saw them. They were wearing their normal clothes but they had a piece of paper tapped to their shirts that said sloth on them. Finn put the boom box down on the piano.
"We found this song on itunes and we were like- no way! Too perfect" he said enthusiastically. "Who knew they had a song just for this very situation!"
Everyone looked at them blankly. Finn pressed play on the bom box and he and Brittany began doing a clap stomp thing to the beat. Finn began to sing.
Sloths so very peaceful
Eating bugs... tender shoots and leaves
He and Brittany turned to each other smiling completely oblivious to the reaction of Mr. Schue and the rest of the glee club. Brittany sang.
Sloths you maintain low body temperatures
About 30... to 34 degrees
Finn: Oh sloth
Brittany: Sloth
Together: You're so... slow
They began walking around in exaggerated slow motion smiling.
Brittany: But sloth
Finn: Sloth
Together: I love you so!
They began to mimic playing the guitar.
Together: Sloth... Rock yeah!
Sloth... Rock yeah!
Sloth... Rock yeah!
Sloth... Rock yeah!
Brittany turned to the audience who was gaping in disbelief that this was really happening.
Sloth you're lazy like me
I think I've found a soulmate
She hugged Finn and the two of them went back into the chorus still hugging. Then the song went into an instrumental part and Finn held out his arm and Brittany tried to hang from it. They both fell down knocking over a few chairs. Everyone stood up to help them.
"We're good" Brittany said.
The two of them stood up and went back into the center of the room. Finn started to sing.
Infant sloths cling to their mothers fur
And occasionally they fall off
He turned to Brittany and the two of them coughed. Brittany started singing then.
I wouldn't laugh at them though
And if I did, I'd stifle it with a cough
They went in the chorus again and started fist pumping whenever they would say Rock yeah! When they were done Brittany and Finn hugged each other again and cheered. Santana and Artie slowly clapped a little bit.
"You guys didn't like it?" Brittany asked sadly.
Everyone was silent for a moment. Mr. Schue finally spoke up.
"I don't really think you understood the assignment. When I said sloth I meant laziness"
"Isn't that what that person at the store told us?" Finn asked Brittany.
"I thought she was lying" Brittany whispered back.
"Well- anyways. You two were able to demonstrate the characteristic of sloth... even though you didn't mean to..." Mr. Schue said.
"What are you talking about! We spent hours memorizing this song!" Finn said.
Mr. Schue sighed.
"Um... sorry" there was silence. "Well let's just make sure that everyone else understands what their words mean"
He wrote all of them on his board.
"Greed means to be selfish and possessive of things that are yours or you have power over. Gluttony is to have some sort of greedy thing you do constantly or excessive eating"
Mercedes and Lauren looked at each other realizing the project would've been less painful if they had looked up the definition.
"Envy is jealousy. Wrath is extreme anger or violence. Pride is kind of like being self absorbed or conceited or excessively confident. And lust means to have a very strong- usually sexual- desire for someone"
Puck nervously looked over at Rachel who was looking at him. He suddenly felt really awkward again.
"Is anyone ready to go tomorrow?" he asked.
Kurt's hand immediately shot up.
"Okay Kurt and Blaine tomorrow representing pride! Alright!" Mr. Schue said smiling. Santana raised her hand too. Mercedes looked down wishing she had given them time to possibly rework the assignment.
"Okay! This is great guys! I'm really excited to see what the rest of you have. Finn and Brittany- that was... a really good job,"
The two of them smiled stupidly.
Here's the link to the sloth song in case anyone wanted it. .com/watch?v=9wScg0_2Y_U