I love this^_^ I'm so proud of myself! Yay! Rated pg for complete craziness, I guess. I don't own GW or anything. Disclaimers are so boring!
Alternate Universe (no gundam, no gw plot)
Relena's Diary
TUESDAY
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was, like, the weirdest day. Ok, see. At school, my friends wouldn't talk to me very much. So I went to the bathroom to cry. Only I was unlucky because I slipped on some pee and bruised my elbow and hip. Then I crawled into a stall and cried. Only too bad for me, because then my perfect eyes were all red and puffy-looking. And I got snot on my dress, and in my hair but that part was ok because it helps it stay in place. And this is so gross because green clashes with that shade of pink, on my dress. So I tried to rub it off but it wouldn't come off. So I got one of my pink gel pens and tried to color over it. It kinda worked. I waited for it to dry and while I was waiting I tried to fix my eyes. Now I am very smart and knew that white gel pen wouldn't work. And I saw that while I'd sat on the toilet my dress had slipped in. And some rude person had not flushed and this is a terrible thing, because then there was a stain on my dress! I didn't want to waste any more of my ink, though. So I got out of the stall and turned on the blow dryer for your hands because my school is very advanced, you see.
So while it was drying I got eye drops out of my purse and put some in. Those always help. Only then I glanced at the bottle and it said Super Glue. But I remembered how if you get icky glue on your hands you just wait for it to dry and then rub it off. So I waited for it to dry but for some reason my eyes wouldn't open when I blinked! I decided not to be brave anymore and started screaming for help. And I tried rubbing my eyes open. So a teacher came in and told me to be calm but that was stupid because my eyelids wouldn't open and I must have looked a fright. My hand is tired so to make a long story short, I went home and all the doctors came and fixed me right up. But I don't remember a thing of what they did, isn't that funny?
~relena
WENDESDAY
Dear Diary,
I can't go back to school yet, but I'm really bored. I need someone to stalk. You see, my ex-stalked boyfriend, Timmy, died. But it really was too bad, the silly boy threw himself off a cliff when I'd surprised him with a picnic. At any rate, he was very romantic. Every time I saw him, he'd scream for me to stay away or he'd kill me. Boys are so shy! But I knew that deep down he had profound feelings for me! I miss jumping out of the closet in his room and seeing him screeching, "What IS that?!!". So you see, he liked me! And if guys like you, they want you to follow them around because they're too shy to come up to you. He liked playing hard to get.
This has to be cut short because I hear my butler calling me. He said something about a bath. I think I had one once. I guess I was five. They spread white slippery stuff on you, although this is a preposterous thing to do, and then put goo in your hair. It was all floppy the next day! I like mine the way it is, it stays in any position I put it in, therefore making styling much easier. So one day, when I'm queen, I can make a nice hairdo with my hair all up just like real ladies! Oh well. I'll go outside and scream until he leaves me alone. Ta Ta!
~Relena
THURSDAY
Dear Diary,
I escaped my bath, and I'll be going back to school tomorrow. My dress is all clean now, and I hear that there will be a new student, Hero, or something. Maybe I'll find him stalkable, but none of the boys so far seem to have a strong desire to strangle me as Timmy did...
Oh, did I tell you my big brother taught me how to shave? And I always thought that only men needed to. I've never seen Milliard so relieved. I cut myself a few times over my lip but I'll do better tomorrow morning, and I'll arrive at school with a nice smooth face. The only bad thing is that you have to touch... oh dear how inappropriate... water.
I'm gonna go outside for a little while. It's because there is this terrible smell wherever I go. My butler mentioned the other day that it would go away if I took a bath, but what kind of logic is that? No wonder he's only a butler. And it doesn't really matter, it kills any flies that get near me. It doesn't keep the birds from attacking me, though. I'll have to call Treize and have him get rid of them.
~Relena
FRIDAY
Dear Diary,
I went back to school today! Nobody seemed to notice, though. And I still have scabs all over my face from shaving... But I absolutely loved this new Heero guy, he pays more attention to me than everyone else. I have officially found someone to stalk! He is kinda short, has blue eyes, and brown hair. But of course I'll find out everything there is to know about him! Hehehehe! Maybe once we get real intimate he'll let me dye his hair for him! And anyways, he's the only one that looks me straight in the eye. That must mean something! But this guy moves quick. Right before school ended, he threatened to kill me! And I was like, no way! Like, I'm not ready to get into that much of a relationship yet. I'll just have to be more careful with this one. But I just gave him a mysterious smile and winked. He looked a little sick after that. I'll have to do something about those school lunches.
~Relena
SATURDAY
Dear Diary,
I'm so bored! My friends never want to visit me anymore. Except for Dorothy but every time she comes to visit me all she does is look at me and laugh the whole time and by the time she leaves she's red in the face. I think there's something wrong with her.
I can't stop cutting myself every time I try to shave. Maybe I'll try a waxing kit only I'm afraid it will hurt but at least I won't have scabs on my face!
There is nothing else to write. I'll go annoy my brother now.
~Relena
MONDAY
Dear Diary,
I really feel bad about hurting Heero, although he seemed to love it... It appears I went a little too long without brushing my hair. He sat behind me and I leaned my head back and he screamed and I realized I'd poked him in the eye. But he seemed to find it very attracting, because he screamed all sorts of love declarations like, "What the heck do you think you are? I've seen better-looking road kill than you!" and, well, he's not very eloquent. Oh well, it's a start.
Oh, and I'm gonna try to make myself even more beautiful! I got a cream that makes you tan when you spread it on your face. I'll go try it out. It's not foundation, though. Something else. Wait till Heero sees!
~relena
TUESDAY
Dear Diary,
I put lots of the cream on my face last night. The directions were silly, (butler had to read them to me), I think he was wrong because I put a lot more than I was supposed to and I look fine. A little patchy but fine. It gives my face a larger variety of tones. And after shaving, it's just perfect. Zechs (that's my brother, he just felt like being called that today) took one look at me and put this funny bird-mask thing on. Whatever.
I'm going to school now. Just had to tell you about the miracle cream! Hehehehe!
~Relena
WEDNESDAY
Dear Diary,
I've decided that since guys like blondes, I'll bleach my hair! See, I am blond but I don't know, it doesn't seem to be enough. I asked some of my friends and they kinda looked at each other and said I should use peroxide or tons of bleach. Well, I guess I'll try it in a moment.
I was getting lonely so I made butler buy me a pet. It's a puppy! It's kinda boring though, all it does is sit there. I tried to play dress up with it, but it bit me and now it's hiding under the bed. It keeps wanting to throw itself out of my bedroom window! I have to keep it shut now which makes the smell worse but I can live with it as long as my puppy's here!
I'm going to do my hair now.
~ Relena
FRIDAY
Dear Diary,
I tried to do my hair. I had butler go to the store and buy me some bleach. I didn't see any instructions for bleaching hair, but I figured how hard could it be? So I just filled the sink with it and then dunked my head in. Only too bad because then my scalp started itching and burning and some got in my eyes. And a lot got on my face so now it's covered in scabs, has a spotty tan and has patches of red rash all over. Half of my hair fell out, what's left is like totally white and frazzly looking. I have no eyebrows. At least I won't have to wax now! *sigh* Maybe no one will notice!
Some doctors came to fix my eyes but I can still see although everything looks foggy. Yesterday I couldn't write because my head hurt too much. I didn't go to school, and I didn't today either. My dog won't come out from under the bed, but that's ok because his fur just makes my rash worse.
At least I can't smell that awful smell anymore...
~Relena
Alternate Universe (no gundam, no gw plot)
Relena's Diary
TUESDAY
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was, like, the weirdest day. Ok, see. At school, my friends wouldn't talk to me very much. So I went to the bathroom to cry. Only I was unlucky because I slipped on some pee and bruised my elbow and hip. Then I crawled into a stall and cried. Only too bad for me, because then my perfect eyes were all red and puffy-looking. And I got snot on my dress, and in my hair but that part was ok because it helps it stay in place. And this is so gross because green clashes with that shade of pink, on my dress. So I tried to rub it off but it wouldn't come off. So I got one of my pink gel pens and tried to color over it. It kinda worked. I waited for it to dry and while I was waiting I tried to fix my eyes. Now I am very smart and knew that white gel pen wouldn't work. And I saw that while I'd sat on the toilet my dress had slipped in. And some rude person had not flushed and this is a terrible thing, because then there was a stain on my dress! I didn't want to waste any more of my ink, though. So I got out of the stall and turned on the blow dryer for your hands because my school is very advanced, you see.
So while it was drying I got eye drops out of my purse and put some in. Those always help. Only then I glanced at the bottle and it said Super Glue. But I remembered how if you get icky glue on your hands you just wait for it to dry and then rub it off. So I waited for it to dry but for some reason my eyes wouldn't open when I blinked! I decided not to be brave anymore and started screaming for help. And I tried rubbing my eyes open. So a teacher came in and told me to be calm but that was stupid because my eyelids wouldn't open and I must have looked a fright. My hand is tired so to make a long story short, I went home and all the doctors came and fixed me right up. But I don't remember a thing of what they did, isn't that funny?
~relena
WENDESDAY
Dear Diary,
I can't go back to school yet, but I'm really bored. I need someone to stalk. You see, my ex-stalked boyfriend, Timmy, died. But it really was too bad, the silly boy threw himself off a cliff when I'd surprised him with a picnic. At any rate, he was very romantic. Every time I saw him, he'd scream for me to stay away or he'd kill me. Boys are so shy! But I knew that deep down he had profound feelings for me! I miss jumping out of the closet in his room and seeing him screeching, "What IS that?!!". So you see, he liked me! And if guys like you, they want you to follow them around because they're too shy to come up to you. He liked playing hard to get.
This has to be cut short because I hear my butler calling me. He said something about a bath. I think I had one once. I guess I was five. They spread white slippery stuff on you, although this is a preposterous thing to do, and then put goo in your hair. It was all floppy the next day! I like mine the way it is, it stays in any position I put it in, therefore making styling much easier. So one day, when I'm queen, I can make a nice hairdo with my hair all up just like real ladies! Oh well. I'll go outside and scream until he leaves me alone. Ta Ta!
~Relena
THURSDAY
Dear Diary,
I escaped my bath, and I'll be going back to school tomorrow. My dress is all clean now, and I hear that there will be a new student, Hero, or something. Maybe I'll find him stalkable, but none of the boys so far seem to have a strong desire to strangle me as Timmy did...
Oh, did I tell you my big brother taught me how to shave? And I always thought that only men needed to. I've never seen Milliard so relieved. I cut myself a few times over my lip but I'll do better tomorrow morning, and I'll arrive at school with a nice smooth face. The only bad thing is that you have to touch... oh dear how inappropriate... water.
I'm gonna go outside for a little while. It's because there is this terrible smell wherever I go. My butler mentioned the other day that it would go away if I took a bath, but what kind of logic is that? No wonder he's only a butler. And it doesn't really matter, it kills any flies that get near me. It doesn't keep the birds from attacking me, though. I'll have to call Treize and have him get rid of them.
~Relena
FRIDAY
Dear Diary,
I went back to school today! Nobody seemed to notice, though. And I still have scabs all over my face from shaving... But I absolutely loved this new Heero guy, he pays more attention to me than everyone else. I have officially found someone to stalk! He is kinda short, has blue eyes, and brown hair. But of course I'll find out everything there is to know about him! Hehehehe! Maybe once we get real intimate he'll let me dye his hair for him! And anyways, he's the only one that looks me straight in the eye. That must mean something! But this guy moves quick. Right before school ended, he threatened to kill me! And I was like, no way! Like, I'm not ready to get into that much of a relationship yet. I'll just have to be more careful with this one. But I just gave him a mysterious smile and winked. He looked a little sick after that. I'll have to do something about those school lunches.
~Relena
SATURDAY
Dear Diary,
I'm so bored! My friends never want to visit me anymore. Except for Dorothy but every time she comes to visit me all she does is look at me and laugh the whole time and by the time she leaves she's red in the face. I think there's something wrong with her.
I can't stop cutting myself every time I try to shave. Maybe I'll try a waxing kit only I'm afraid it will hurt but at least I won't have scabs on my face!
There is nothing else to write. I'll go annoy my brother now.
~Relena
MONDAY
Dear Diary,
I really feel bad about hurting Heero, although he seemed to love it... It appears I went a little too long without brushing my hair. He sat behind me and I leaned my head back and he screamed and I realized I'd poked him in the eye. But he seemed to find it very attracting, because he screamed all sorts of love declarations like, "What the heck do you think you are? I've seen better-looking road kill than you!" and, well, he's not very eloquent. Oh well, it's a start.
Oh, and I'm gonna try to make myself even more beautiful! I got a cream that makes you tan when you spread it on your face. I'll go try it out. It's not foundation, though. Something else. Wait till Heero sees!
~relena
TUESDAY
Dear Diary,
I put lots of the cream on my face last night. The directions were silly, (butler had to read them to me), I think he was wrong because I put a lot more than I was supposed to and I look fine. A little patchy but fine. It gives my face a larger variety of tones. And after shaving, it's just perfect. Zechs (that's my brother, he just felt like being called that today) took one look at me and put this funny bird-mask thing on. Whatever.
I'm going to school now. Just had to tell you about the miracle cream! Hehehehe!
~Relena
WEDNESDAY
Dear Diary,
I've decided that since guys like blondes, I'll bleach my hair! See, I am blond but I don't know, it doesn't seem to be enough. I asked some of my friends and they kinda looked at each other and said I should use peroxide or tons of bleach. Well, I guess I'll try it in a moment.
I was getting lonely so I made butler buy me a pet. It's a puppy! It's kinda boring though, all it does is sit there. I tried to play dress up with it, but it bit me and now it's hiding under the bed. It keeps wanting to throw itself out of my bedroom window! I have to keep it shut now which makes the smell worse but I can live with it as long as my puppy's here!
I'm going to do my hair now.
~ Relena
FRIDAY
Dear Diary,
I tried to do my hair. I had butler go to the store and buy me some bleach. I didn't see any instructions for bleaching hair, but I figured how hard could it be? So I just filled the sink with it and then dunked my head in. Only too bad because then my scalp started itching and burning and some got in my eyes. And a lot got on my face so now it's covered in scabs, has a spotty tan and has patches of red rash all over. Half of my hair fell out, what's left is like totally white and frazzly looking. I have no eyebrows. At least I won't have to wax now! *sigh* Maybe no one will notice!
Some doctors came to fix my eyes but I can still see although everything looks foggy. Yesterday I couldn't write because my head hurt too much. I didn't go to school, and I didn't today either. My dog won't come out from under the bed, but that's ok because his fur just makes my rash worse.
At least I can't smell that awful smell anymore...
~Relena