Talking ""

thinking ''

me ()

Bold priority events

Italic different language from the main one (so if speaking English then Japanese or German will be this and vice versa) also long-range communications

Disclaimer: I don't own Fallout NV, nor Mass effect but I do own the OCs (original characters) … so yea

Earth (Fallout verse)

Deep underground in a small concrete room stands a tall figure clad in elite riot Gear, helmet included, standing cross-armed as an elderly man types on the computer in front of him

"are you done yet?"

"no"

"how about now?"

"no"

"…now?"

"ugghhh… No, I am not done, I wasn't the last 60 FUCKING TIME EITHER!" the elderly man shouts to his impatient colleague…

"…" the armoured man says nothing merely looking at him with red glowing eyes… the elderly man goes back to work

"How about now?" the armoured man states causing his elderly colleague to get whiplash as he turns his neck faster than is safe… however, before he can say anything the computer makes a sound

DING

"Yes… I am done, Mr Courier" the elderly man mutters looking back at the screen as the man, now known as the courier, marches past him excitedly as he does another figure appears in the room, a small girl with Light-Brown Back-length hair and similar coloured eyes

"Please forgive him, mister, he's very impatient" she mutters walking next to the courier

"I know Mila… doesn't mean he isn't annoying"

"shut up, Its Adventure time" the Courier interrupts grabbing the Transportalponder from it resting place ripping multiple wires out and hitting the trigger

"WAIT, IT NEEDS TO REALIGN!" the man shouts as both the courier and Mila are covered in a blue light

"…Rex, you idiot" Mila mutters looking at the courier, or rex, as both vanish from sight… the elderly man sighs facepalming

"…well piss" he mutters as he begins to fiddle with the screen again… but he has lost their signal

Somewhere… else

In the middle of a forest, a blue light shines' swallowing a whole tree… and deposits both the Courier and Mila onto the ground… with Mila appearing on top of the courier sitting on his chest

"…WE LIVE!" the courier shouts sitting up causing Mila to fall to the side onto his outstretched legs

"…have I said you an idiot?" Mila questions as the courier push her to her feet before getting up himself

"yes… yes you have" he responds happily as he looks about

"where have we landed today… Zion?" he questions walking up to a tree… Mila walks up behind him and begins to examine the tree ripping a piece of bark off, he eyes begin to glow

"It's a tree… not one from earth though… and there is no trace of radiation in it… or the air for that matter" Mila states looking about

'no satellite coverage either… where have you gotten us this time Rex?' Mila question herself in her head

"… oh, an alien planet… I wonder if there're any more aliens to kill?" the courier Ponders in glee

'sometimes I forget he is a psychopath…' she thinks remembering what he did to the last aliens they found… poor green things

"so… anything of interest nearby"? the courier questions looking at Mila…

KABOOM

"Ooo, an explosion… wow, that timing was unnatural" the courier mutters as he begins to wander in the direction of said explosion… and with a sigh, Mila follows after him shaking her head

As she jogs off after him she finds him stopped at the edge of a clearing, he appears to be observing something

"Hey, Mila… does that look like a spaceship to you?" he questions looking at the small shuttle as strange 4-eyes creature wander around the shuttle, one of then appears to be interrogating a small feminine figure completely covered in what he guesses is an Environmental/spacesuit… he can tell what they are from a mile away

"…Slavers" the courier mutters his voice full of venom and disdain… and he reaches to his back pulling off a large weapon… a .50 Cal Anti-Material Rifle

"Mila, how many Lambs to the slaughter are there?" he questions as he begins to count himself

"7… Not including the one on the ground"

"where is the 6th?" the courier questions only spotting 5 of the 4-eyes aliens

"Inside the ship preparing to take-off… I suggest getting him first" she states looking at the small 'camp'

"ok… Highlight em' then" he commands… the outline of one sitting down appears on his HUD…

"time to see how good these AP rounds truly are" he mutters to himself as his finger slowly squeezes around the trigger

BANG

At the camp

"Ok Quarian… I suggest you tell us where your ship is before I pop that suit like a bag of rations" the slaver threatens slowly bringing his knife to the Quarian's stomach

"Why don't you go look for it Bosh'Tet" the quarian responds causing the slaver to laugh

"Wrong answer" he mutters raising it up, preparing to strike

BANG, SHATTER/SPLAT

He ducks to the ground as the glass in the cockpit is shattered and the Pilot into a red mist… the other slavers look about in shock

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG

"AGHHHH" as the rest of his men drop the leader clutches his knee seeing it has been blown off from the knee down

The quarian looks about in shock, the only sound she can hear is the low hum of the dropship and the screams of agony from the slaver

"I just shot you, you alien bitch" a voice sings in a human language… and seemingly from nowhere a tall figure in black armour with red eyes walks out, the red eyes lock with the terrified slavers own… well two of them anyway

As the figure meets the eyes of the slaver they stop singing and march towards the Terrified 4-eyed creature… however, her attention is taken by the small being which walks out behind it

She looks like a small pale Asari with fur on her head… a human

"Hello, are you ok?" the human questions

"AHHHH-" GURGLE/SPLAT

A small amount of blood covered the back of the quarian's suit…. And a splash lands on the small human who looks towards the blood covered courier in anger

"REX, DO YOU MIND?" Mila roars getting a shrug from the courier who put the small pile of mush down and walks inside the Ship to see if there are any more Aliens inside… and if there is any cool alien's tech to steal

"sorry about that… are you ok?" Mila questions holding out her hand to the bigger, but still small, girl

"yes… thank you miss?"

"Mila is fine… that's my big brother Rex… or the Courier as he prefers it" Mila mutters shaking her head

"ok… well, my name is Tali'Zorah… but you can call me Tali" the quarian states happily

"so, tali… where are we… me and my brother kind of got lost due to the fact he is an idiot and is very impatient"

"I pressed a button, and everything went white" the courier shouts from inside as the sound of looting is heard

"so… are you stuck?"

"Yup"

"well, I guess I could help you off world… if I can get my ship flying" tali mutters

"Why not use this one?" Mila questions… until a small explosion knocks the pair over… the courier walks out of the flaming wreckage brushing the dust off his shoulder

"ok… now I know not to try and rip the engine out when it is still on… ahh well, the more you know" he mutters walking over to a dead body and pilfering it of its stuff… including the Omni-Tool which he rips off and looks at briefly… before pocketing it and moving on to another body

"what's wrong with your ship?" Mila questions getting back to her feet and helping Tali up… again

"It was suffering from some sort of virus, I had to set down on this planet otherwise it would have gone 'boom'" tali responds as the begins to walk off gesturing for the pair to follow… Mila does… and so does the courier, who is dragging a body he hasn't looted, which he does while walking

"Ooo, new guns" he mutters holding out a basis pistol… he looks down the barrel curiously…

"id be careful with that… that's an older model, they have a high chance of going off unexp-"

PEW

A blue bolt flies out of the gun hitting him… but only scraping the helmet as the courier had managed to move the gun as it fired… both Mila and Tali look at him in shock…

"… I'm fine, it missed…" he mutters continues to play around with the gun… and looks down the barrel again

"he's an idiot… although a lucky one" Mila mutters as the ground enter a small clearing which appears to be holding a small dropship

"here she is, not the best ship… but it gets the job done… normally anyway" she mutters the last part to herself… but both of her companions hear her

"Ok… mind if I take a look at the computer?" Mila questions

"sure… though I can barely get it started and-"

"done"

"…what?"

"she's good with machines" the courier offers happily

"but… but" Tali is at a loss for words… however, her Arm is suddenly surrounded by orange light… she looks at it in shock… or joy, the mask makes it difficult to read her expression

"…Geth… outside the vale?" she questions looking about

"Geth?"

"Sentient robots which turned evil and drove my people from our home worlds around 300 Years ago… give or take a few years"

"Mila… I don't think she is human?" The courier states over their private coms… she doesn't respond

"Why are you surprised that they are outside the 'vale'" The courier questions placing his hand on his revolver… a ranger Sequoia

"Because they haven't left since they drove us out… to see one this far out is… suspicious, to say the least," Tali mutters

"…that doesn't sound good… where is this Geth?" he questions looking at his pitboy… at the blank Map screen… tali walks over waving her Omni tool filling the device with Data

"here… and here's the codex on them… what are you going to do?"

"…I'm going hunting" he mutters as he begins to walk off… and within seconds vanishes as he breaks into a sprint

"ugghhh… you know how hard it Is to stop him running off to kill something?... it's going to take hours to get stop him now" Mila mutters in defeat

"…sorry… let's run after him"

"unless you can run faster than a goddam car I suggest we take the shuttle"

"…wait, what?"

"he is very fast… especially when it coming to finding something to kill" Mila explains as they both board the dropship

Meanwhile

Geth unit 0384684 was having a rough day… for starts, they found out that they were working with a flesh bag… a Turian, Seran, as it calls itself, and they were sent out to this random world for very little reasons… they think it was to test his control over the Geth

However, their pondering is interrupted by the sound of footsteps

"FUCK YOU, ROBOT!" a voice shouts… and the last thing Geth Unit 0384684 sees is a large bulk hand punching it directly in the face as a pair of red eyes watches full of joy…

The courier punches the Geth with a power fist shattering its optic and crushing its head instantly

"Huh… that was easy… where is a sentry bot when you want to murder one?" the courier mutters looking at his power fist… he looks about for more Geth only seeing a single craft… he shrugs walking towards it as a ship lands 50 meters far away

Both Mila and Tali get out looking at the dead Geth… and the hole in the Geth ship… and the cursing coming from inside

"FUCKING RED DILDO, I'LL PUNCH YOUR EYE OUT, YOU BOTTLE OF KETCHUP!" the courier yells from within the craft as the sound of battle reaches their ears

"should we help?" Tali questions

"hmm no… he doesn't like it when someone interrupts his therapy" Mila responds walking over to the 'dead' Geth

"can we get this things Data core, maybe we can find out what it's doing out here?" Mila wonders as she and Tali go to work

Inside the ship

"- ILL USE YOUR HEAD AS A PARER WEIGHT AND YOUR ARM AS A BACK SCRATCHER!" the courier shouts as he is smashed into a wall by a Geth Prime… which he stabs in the eye with the Combat knife he drew from his boot

"any more of you?" he questions looking about… not seeing another Geth Prime activates behind him and spear him before tossing him back out the hole

"ugghhh… fucking tin can… I'll feed you to a cyberdog" he mutters sitting up as the Geth Walks out drawing Its Gun… which explodes in its hand's courtesy of Tali's Hacking

"HAH, NOW YOU'RE DISARMED… LITERALLY!" the courier taunts as the Geth is now missing its left arm… but it grabs him around his neck with is right hand and begins to smash him into everything

THUNK

"FUCK-

CRACK

-STOP-

SMASH

-SMASHING-

BOOP

-ME-

CRASH

-INTO-

THUMP

-EVERYTHING!" he states as he is bashed into everything… and as he is finally smashed into the dropship he gets annoyed, he grabs onto the Geth Primes arm, and with a tug, he rips the arm off… he Geth back off… until it is swatted over the side of the head with the Arm… and after 3 full minutes of making it hit itself, he finally breaks the arm over it chest… and so he begins to beat his chest shattering the armour with each blow… and as the power core is revealed he grabs it ripping it out and storing it in his duster for further use

"…yea… fuck you… over-sized toaster" he mutters holding his sore chest

"fuck… think I popped a rib…" he mutters walking back into the ship…

"and now for my reward" he states… until he sees a glowing light… and he realises what it is

"…wow, robots are dicks" he mutters as the power core blows sending him flying out the ship… and setting him on fire

As he lands on his back, he doesn't move merely letting himself burn… and with a sigh, he sits up seeing both Mila and Tali looking at him in confusion

"…what, oh… I appear to be on fire… Again" he mutters as he begins to pad down his worn armour, he gets up and begins to walk over to the women to see what they are doing

"…so… why are you poking around in that's things head… or the pile of scrap that was its head before I gave it a knuckle sandwich?" he questions curiously

"trying to find out why it's out here" tali mutters… until the Device suddenly begins to play a video, however, the courier had wandered off at this point and was examining the Remains of the dropship

"Hmm… I wonder if anything survived" he states… not seeing the rubble behind him rise… or maybe he did since he turns around and spins kicks a Geth… but instead, his kicks some sort of pylon spike… he hops around holding his sore foot

"FUCK… DAMN YOU BIG STICK!" he mutters eventually standing back on two feet

"Rex… get over here" Mila states through their radio link

"hmm" he mutters walking over to the pair… only seeing the disassembled Geth… but no Engineers

"…have they gained the ability to go invisible or something?" he questions looking about seeing nothing but trees and grass… and a small ship with said engineers standing in it looking at him

"OI, HURRY UP!" Mila shouts… and suddenly with a blink, he is behind her

"Huh… where did he go?" Tali questions as Mila turns around

"…" she looks at him, noting the cracked eyepiece, Tali look at her in confusion… then the Courier in shock

"Huh… how did you… when did… huh?" she questions… Mila sighs

"I stop trying to make sense of him years ago…" Mila states walking into the ship as the courier drags the stuttering and confused Tali in behind her, after setting the confused Tali in a seat he walks into the back and take a seat himself…

"I think I deserve a Nap" he states… and almost immediately his head hits his chest

Sometime later

The courier slowly opens his eyes finding himself in the back of the Parked Shuttle… he gets out the seat and looks about seeing no one… he wandered out the shuttle looking about

"…wow… that's a lot of aliens" he mutters eyeing hundreds of aliens… and more humans that he has ever seen

"…I wonder which ones are the best fighters…" however before he can test the theory he gets a call from the communicator in his pocket… Mila

"Hello?"

"Courier, your awake… I don't suppose you could meet us here, could you?… we may need a little help in taking down a possible fortified position" Mila requests…

"sure… I'll see if I can get over there…" he mutters… and he eyes the control of the ship with a smile

Elsewhere

Mila deactivated her Omni-tool and looks towards the others present

"well… hopefully, he actually comes to help and doesn't just wander off… again" she mutters

"We need help?" Wrex, a large Scaly creature, a Krogan, States proudly

"to be honest I only invited him because if he found out I was going to fight without him he would get annoyed that I left him out on the fun" she responds

"is he a good fighter?" a tall red-headed women questions… Commander Shepard

"Well let's put it this way… he beat one of those 'Geth' Primes to death, with his bare hands" she responds getting an intrigued Whistle

"…is he a Krogan?" Shepard questions titling her head

"Nope… his human… I think" she mutters the last part, so no one can hear her… but Shepard Does yet she decides not to questions it the group soon arrives at the right location… a bar

"so… where is your friend?" Garrus, A turian C-Sec, questions…

"RAMMING SPEED!" A loud voice shouts from high above… and Mila points up facepalming as Tali's ship shoot towards the Bar… and misses crashing into the floor and skidding to a stop right in front of them all… seconds later the door is kicked off and the courier walks out… on fire

"Another happy landing… sup" he questions patting his, on-fire, shoulder

"…My ship" Tali states in horror

"… wasn't me" the courier denies walking over to Mila

"hey, half-pint… so… how is everyone?" the courier questions… and Shepard can't help but feel like something is wrong with this man

Author note: Thanks for reading guys, hope you enjoyed reading it, so… what do you think of the strange and Derange courier… like or hate him… anyway, that's for this one-shot… so Chow for Now