A/N: ...It wouldn't get out of my head, okay?! Don't judge me!
Note: I probably have the most complex Romano head cannon in the history of head cannons. It's ridiculous. So bam. There are some Spamano mentions, and maybe some Ottoman Empire!TurkeyXAncient Greece. Maybe. Also, maybe some GerIta.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, and all that crap.
Empire to Romano to Lovino: 30 facts on why Romano is Romano
1. Romano was old. Really old. Not as old as China, 'cuz no one is as old as that guy except for the Koreas, but still pretty damn old. He was at least 2000 years old, and was already a teenager by the time England was born.
England is currently around 2000 years old, just for a frame of reference.
2. His name isn't Lovino. It never was Lovino. His human name actually is Romano. It means Roman, because that's all Romano has ever really been.
3. Feliciano started the whole Lovino thing. Lovino means, the wine usually. However, it can also mean to ruin.
Feli could never stand that Romano was the favorite, and he had always blamed Romano for Rome's death and was jealous that Romano inherited the Empire. Inheriting the Empire was Rome's greatest sign of love, respect, and trust, and Feliciano hated that it wasn't him who got it.
4. Romano isn't weak. He's just waiting for an opportunity to get strong again.
5. By the way, he's been waiting for about 559 years, and he's kinda given up. Now, he just want to survive (and maybe screw the hell out of Spain, but he's never going to tell that to anyone)
6. Romano is a lot like Prussia since he was born to fight and conquer. Romano was just a hell of a lot better at it, back in the day (and he's not that old, even if that makes him sound like it, so shut up!).
7. Romano has a lot of siblings, most of which are dead. He also has a lot of nieces and nephews and admirers among the nations.
It's kinda weird, looking back and remembering that Russia used to essentially worship him for 'creating' Christianity.
*8. Yeah, he made Christianity popular. He was that guy.
9. Romano still kicks himself for the whole Christianity thing. Over the last millennium it's really bitten him in the ass.
10. Romano was the middle child. His oldest brother and sister were the Kingdom of Aragon, who is his half-brother, and Castile, his half-sister. They were twins born from Rome (no shit, Father really got around and if he was still alive and Romano was American, he would bro-fist the Empire) and Iberia (a lovely lady, but kinda oblivious). The twins were forced to marry each other because of their bosses and had two children.
Luckily for Romano's sanity, Spain and Portugal are illegitimate and are actually cousins because Spain is Aragon's bastard while Portugal is Castile's bastard.
Romano is also impressed that the twins got along so well that they were each able to have their own separate affairs and love children and happily raise them together as brothers.
And each time Romano sees Spain and Portugal bickering, he thanks God and the gods of Ancient times that Big Brother and Big Sister decided under penalty of death to never mention to the two that their 'parents' were actually twins.
11. This makes Spain technically his nephew. Romano thinks that considering they're both related to Rome and Europe is known for its horrible past inbreeding, he got off pretty lucky falling in love with him.
Hey, it could be worse. He could've fallen in love with England, and that just would be plain wrong.
12. His younger brothers Greece and Egypt are about the same age. Egypt is his half-brother.
Greece is Romano's only blood brother, and Romano regrets not being there to help him or being able to take care of him after Mother died.
13. His youngest (half) brother is, quite unfortunately, England.
He tends to avoid the Celts like the plague, because there's nothing but bad blood and memories there. (They were all afraid of him back in the day anyway, and Romano thought it was best not to mention he was the guy who helped to conquer their land and kill their mother as well as being Rome's second-in-command)
14. Feliciano is actually not related to him at all. Neither Romano nor Rome know where the hell he came from. He just kinda...showed up.
15. Romano is the one who told Rome to take Feliciano traveling. Rome protested, but Romano was a grown man dammit, and could take care of the Empire while Rome was away.
Romano just wanted his Father to spend his last days in peace.
16. Romano hates Germany. Not because of Feliciano spending to much time with him (though that does help), but because he looks too much like Germania. Romano is probably one of the few European nations that clearly remembers what life was like before and after the Dark Ages, which was all that Germanic bastard's fault.
And Romano will never forget holding his dying father in his arms, bleeding from a stab to the chest, with Germania coldly walking away, bloody sword in hand.
17. Romano knew the second he laid eyes on the 'Holy Roman Empire' that he would be trouble. He constantly annoys Austria, Italy, Hungary, and anyone else he can find that trusting or giving Holy Rome is a really bad idea.
After a month of this, Austria snaps and hands him over to Spain.
The bastards didn't listen to him at all, but eh. Totally worth it.
18. Centuries later after WWII, Romano inwardly snarks, I told you so, you damn fuckers.
19. Also, the Holy Roman Empire is fucking Germanic. IT'S NOT ROMAN, YOU GERMAN BASTARD!
20. Romano's mother was Ancient Greece, and was Father's, uh, favorite. It was... interesting, to observe their relationship, to say the least.
21. When Romano saw that new kid, Ottoman, getting strong, he knew the kid would eventually come for him.
He was a strong little fucker. Willful and optimistic and kinda naive, but Romano deemed his worthy and decided to train him. Hey, if someone's gonna come and kick his ass, at least let it be someone he hand picked and made strong so he doesn't feel utterly pathetic when he's beaten into the ground by some random schmuck.
22. When the Ottoman Empire does come and kicks his ass and kills Mother (that's a whole other story, and probably the most tragic thing that's ever happened in the history of fucking tragic things), Romano gives him his white mask as a spoil of war.
Make your subjects obey the Empire, he had told him, but make sure they love and adore the man behind it.
23. Years later, when Romano meets the Ottoman Empire again at that lake, he is surprised that he still has the mask. And he is a little disappointed that Sadiq doesn't recognize him.
24. Romano buries Ancient Greece the old way, with pagan ceremonies and coins placed in her mouth to ensure she has enough money to buy a ticket across the River Styx.
And he tells the Ottoman Empire to take care of his baby brother Greece, because he can't anymore and Greece is, to be blunt, weak.
Romano hopes that Greece never finds out about that. And if he does...well, over the years, he's gotten pretty damn good at running.
25. Romano's people, the survivors of his fallen Empire, flee to the old city of Rome, to Southern Italy, and he follows them because they are his people, and on the way to his new home his body changes. His eyes get bigger, his face and limbs chubbier and his body becomes tiny. His voice cracks and becomes higher in pitch, he looses the coordination and strength he's gathered over the years and becomes weak.
He turns back into a child, and becomes Lovino.
26. Feliciano runs up to Romano one day and raves about some guy called Marco Polo who has traveled far to the east, and has met so many wonderful and exotic people, and seen so many new things and isn't that amazing, fratello? Romano agrees halfheartedly as he thinks of the days long past when he and Rome would go east to talk trade with an effeminate young man in his late teens called China.
27. Romano likes it when Spain calls him Lovi and hates it when he calls him Roma.
Spain called Romano Roma once, long ago. Romano was visiting Aragon to see his new "darling little Spain~!" The kid had giant green eyes, a mop of wavy brown hair, tan skin and the biggest, most innocent smile in the history of smiles. Spain would cling to his his leg and beg to be picked up by Romano and coo, "Roma!" happily everytime he was. Henceforth, the hatred of Spain currently calling him Roma. It was weird (and really creepy).
Little bastard also had a penchant for tugging on his curl, even when he was a freakin' baby. Cute little bastard.
28. Yes, he admitted Spain was cute, SHUT UP!
29. No one except Turkey has figured out who he was. The two former Empires go out and get a drink every once in a while, just to talk about the old days of Rome and Greece and conquest when they're not pretending to be enemies.
30. Romano was the Byzantine Empire, also known as "New Rome" and the Eastern Roman Empire. He was the bridge between his mother and father, the perfect mix between Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. He spoke, and still could speak, Latin and Greek fluently. Romano knows both the Ancient Roman myths and the legends of Ancient Greece by heart. Romano was an inspiration towards all Europe and envied for his rich culture, his art, and strength. For centuries afterward, nations were clamoring to be just like him, claiming to be the heir to the great Byzantine for some little reason that often didn't make much sense to Romano anyway.
Now Romano is just Romano. He's the forgotten and unliked big 'brother' of cute and favored Italy, preferring the company of his tomato garden over actual people.
But that's okay, because Romano doesn't need people to like him. He never has. All he's needed was to keep his father's legacy and pride, the city of Rome, alive and strong, and a person or two to keep close. And while Rome is not at its best right now, it's still in his hands and moving forward. And he's got Spain with him, locked in a strange tango full of evasion and tension and love that both are too afraid to touch with a ten foot pole. But Romano can see that Spain is caught in his web of blushes and curses and intentional clumsiness, just like Romano is caught in the whirlwind that is Spain's passion and happiness and pure goodness.
Romano has everything he needs, nothing more, nothing less and after the life he's had, that's good enough for him.
A/N: Like I said, ridiculous.
According to one of my AP Euro textbooks, Russia saw itself as the heir to the Byzantine Empire because they were Greek Orthodox Christians, like the Byzantine Empire was. I thought that was hilarious, because when I read that, I just pictured chibi Russia hero worshiping Romano. L, O, and L dudes.
A lot of this was inspired by the fact that even though Byzantine was conquered by the Ottoman Empire centuries ago, the empire keeps popping up in my textbook. The great Eastern Roman Empire, the Empire that lasted over 1000 years. Think about, when was the last time an Empire lasted over 1000 years? That's right, NO ONE. Not even the British Empire was that cool.
* Christianity used to be some obscure sect of Jewish religion, but the Roman Emperor that made Constantinople (the capital of the Byzantine Empire) the capital of "New Rome" (the Byzantine Empire) made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire(s) and made Christianity popular. Hence, Romano was the trend setter for Christianity.