Just finished rewatching Fatbeard. I didn't think it was that great first time round, but I loved it this time, and felt compelled to write this. Hopefully it should be obvious who's talking when. Um...yeah. Read and Review please, even though it is only a short thing that I wrote in like, half an hour.
Can't wait till Thursday (when I finally get to watch the mid-season premiere)!
South Park and it's characters © Matt 'n' Trey
"Stotch?! Stotch?! Where be me first mate? Stotch?! Oh for-BUTTERS!"
"Oh, uh...A-aye Captain?"
"Butters, 'kay, when I call you, you come to me INSTANTLY! Got that?"
"A-aye, sir!"
"Good. Now tell me, where be that whelp of a Jew I calls me cabin boy?"
"U-uh, Ike? H-he's down below, writing something, I-I think..."
"The scurvy braggot be ratting out on us to his land-lubber Jew-parents?! I should'a known! Somethin' in the wind told me tha' boy boded ill for us all! But by the powers, I'll run 'im through! An-!"
"No, seriously, he's just down there crying. More upset than Leia at the end of Empire Strikes back when-"
"Kevin...Goddamnit."
"I'm just sayin-"
"Don't. What be that tome under yer arm, lad?"
"Oh, it's the Star Wars Cookbook. Found it at the airport in the gift store. Neat, huh?"
"FUCK'S SAKE, KEVIN, PIRATES DON'T LIKE STAR WARS!!"
"Aw."
"Now, outta me way, swab!
"Ike? Ike? Show yerself, or I be makin' ye walk the plank, first chance we gets!"
"I'm Here."
"Ike, I needs ye to be on deck with the others. We be pirates! We have not the time for this caterwaulin'! Now, lad, ye be tellin' me what's the matter, or am I gettin' Johnny Corkscrew to be persuadin' ye to start talkin'?"
"I want Karen."
"...Who be that, Ike? Some wench, ye've taken' a fancy to? She be a native of the island? What creed and clan she be descended from?"
"Muckermit"
"McCormick?! As in...Kenny's sister?! The fuck!?"
"I Want Karen."
"Why'd you want that bitch? She's fucked up! And a poor piece of crap to boot!"
"Elmo!"
"Aye...aye lad. I guess ye can no more help the wench ye love than ye can bein' a filthy Jew. We all be feeling the loss of our pleasurable company-well, not Hashmish, I'm pretty sure he's a fag, but yeah-Stoley, I know he be missing his red-haired lass-he told me his desire to set out a piratin' is so he can give her a fine dowry...she's always wanted to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway...
And young Donovan? I know he be missing his lass too. No doubt our bonny Miss Stevens will grow to be a woman o' fine stature. Shame she's such a fucking whore. Donovan cries hisself to sleep over her...or possibly because he keeps missing Scrubs, I be not sure.
And me...aye, even the fearsome Captain Cartman was once young, foolish and in love, much like yerself. Beautiful as the ocean, she was, and as dazzling as the treasure that lies upon it, whilst smarter than Poisedon hisself. O' course, she were a dirty hippy, and she be not fit to lick me boots. But still...never another like Wendy..."
"Send 'volope?"
"Sure, Ike, send your bonny lass all the well wishes ye want. Just don't make the same mistakes I did. And be sure t'tell her to breathe AWAY from the paper, so she doesn't pass on any poor-people diseases she has."
"Bum Dick!"
"Ehh, kiss it, Jewfag."