Disclaimer: I don't own KickAss which belongs to Mark Millar or Kill Bill which belongs to Quentin Tarantino.

Since graduation, Dave spent almost all of his free time working at the comic shop, occasionally slipping on his costume whenever Red Mist freaked and tried to kill a bunch of people. The shop is where Mindy sent postcards from her summer road trip, the one with the girl she met online. Real paper ones, too, covered in her spiky thick handwriting.

They were different then the ones she sent Marcus, because those were taped to the fridge when Dave came over for dinner, he would read the saccharine sweet lies, full of stories about cute dinners and giant balls of string.

Dave heard the real stories: dismembering drug traffickers, beheading pimps, stabbing the occasional crooked cop; each suggestive postcard ending with, we're getting closer.

To what, he had no idea. He didn't ask and Mindy never said; there was a girl, a student at the New School writing her thesis on Sandman who kept flirting with him, so he ignored the ominous words of his friend.

He moved into a shithole apartment years ago, but he still had dinner with his dad twice a week. One night, towards the end of summer, he was watching the news (okay, his dad was, he only half listened while he updated the store blog about Dark Horse's new vampire comic) when the news report became interesting.

"-Found dead by what appears to be a beheading. No word from the El Paso authorities if a suspect has been apprehended. And now onto the weather with John-"

The last postcard from Mindy was one of a skinny steer with huge horns that had nothing on it but a huge smiley face. He slipped up to his old room to call Mindy. He barely heard her hello over the the beat of the music.

"Are you in El Paso?" he ran a search and it didn't take long to find what he needed.

"Dave, you should be here, Nikki is a fucking beast with a sword. She knows all these real fucking martial arts moves. It's so fucking sweet."

"Mindy, some women was beheaded in El Paso. She wasn't a criminal."

"You think we'd kill a innocent women? Don't be a stupid cunt."

"What the fuck do you want me to think? She ran a record store for Christ sakes." At least, according to what he could find on Google.

"Aren't you too old to be naive? I know what I'm doing."

"I know. Mindy..."

"See you in a few weeks." She hung up, and he didn't talk to her until Marcus invited him over for Mindy's welcome home dinner. Besides her short hair grown out to her shoulders and the uneven tan on her arms and face, she looked the same. She told Marcus about jackalopes and mystery spots and dinosaur city, while her friend sat quietly, chipping in once in a while.

In her room, Mindy told him the truth as she unpacked, Nikki sat on the bed and pulled out the most awesome sword he'd ever seen and began polishing it.

"That bitch in El Paso? Killed Nikki's mom right in front of her. Said if she still had a grudge, to look her up. So we did."

Dave looked over at Nikki, who didn't blink as she looked up from her sword. She had that calm about her, an air of someone who could easily pick up the sword in her hands and stab it clear through him if she thought he deserved it. It was the same air he felt around Mindy. Well, less with the calm.

"Oh," he said.

"Yeah," Nikki said. "Mindy and I have a lot in common."

Author's Note: This was an idea for a crossover story between KickAss and Kill Bill that wouldn't leave me alone. Please leave a review telling me what you think. This will be a one-shot so if someone wishes to continue the story please PM me or leave a review. I also have two forums called Harry Potter Challenges and iCarly Challenges set up for the challenges I make so if you could please stop by those and take a look to see if one of the challenges interests you enough to do.