Title: Icha Icha Paradise; Tsunade edition

Summery: Tsunade has convinced Jiraiya to let her write a book in the Icha Icha Paradise series, and now everyone has got their hands on it. After a few days, it starts circulating throughout the other villages, and general madness and romance ensues.

Warnings: Homosexual, heterosexual et cetera relationships. I'll try and make it as real as possible XP Fair amounts of threatening, inappropriate thinking, and rude language.

Pairings: Only one-sided Kiba? Planned so far.

Disclaimer: No one in this story is mine. Just so you know. Mary-Sue isn't in this one, unfortunately.

Prologue

Tsunade gazed across the desk, her fingertips placed together as she stared down the man on the opposite side. They'd been having this little competition for about five minutes now, but the Hokage knew she was starting to win.

Finally, Jiraiya broke and hung his head in shame, his shoulders slumped. "Fine…" he said dejectedly, "I'll let you."

Tsunade grinned widely, "Great. I should be done within the week. I have a lot of material built up." All this got her was an uncertain look, then a glare.

"I better not regret this. My reputation is on the line."

"Your reputation? I don't think having a reputation for being a pervert can get any worse, but don't worry. My book will sell just as well as your ones."

What was going on, you ask? Tsunade, having wanted a reason to ignore the liberal amounts of paperwork and bills on her desk, had thought up an excuse to keep from dealing with them, at least for the time being. She felt that Jiraiya's books were aimed towards men. Of course, ask anybody else, and they would agree. So, she'd called him there and made him a proposition.

He was to let her write a special volume of Icha Icha Paradise, meant, for the majority of it, for women, or he wouldn't walk out of there with all his teeth. He was stubborn, and held his ground, but Tsunade always won out in the end.

As he left, muttering about stubborn women and going under, she pulled a fresh notebook towards her and smirked. This might prove to be entertaining.

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It was six days later and Tsunade had finally gotten the book to end just the way she wanted it too. Oh, she couldn't wait to see the look on Jiraiya's face when she read this. She leant back in her chair, waiting for him to arrive. Just as she was considering hunting him down, he walked through the door, looking bored. But, she could see the vein twitching in his temple, and she smirked broadly, leaning forward in her chair.

"It's done. Want to read it?"

"I have to, don't I? Though, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of what you've written…"

Tsunade just gave him a would-be sweet smile and held it out to him. "Skip to chapter three, that's where the good stuff starts."

She watched him intently, watched as he thumbed his way to chapter three, and watched his eyes get wider and wider the more he read. Finally, he slammed in down, leaning over the desk so their faces were a few inches apart, and looking highly agitated.

"Tsunade! This…this is…two men, Tsunade!" He held the book up right in front of her nose, "I can't sell this! I'll be ruined!"

"What? You were going to act like YOU wrote it? Besides, that's what women want to read," Tsunade said, leaning back and waving a hand dismissively, "We had a deal, now you have to go through with it and sell that."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll throw you out the window."

"…Fair enough," Jiraiya huffed and straightened up, hiding the book within the folds of his shirt, and turning to leave. Tsunade looked thoroughly pleased.

"And don't even think of getting rid of it. I made copies."

Jiraiya winced, then sagged in a defeated manner, and left the room, heading off to get the damn thing printed, leaving Tsunade to bask in the aftermath of her creation. Not only was this incredibly entertaining, but it should bring in money by the bucket loads.

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Well, wasn't that an interesting read, hm? The actual first chapter should be pretty quick. Maybe even today. Haha…Tsunade wrote porn. I'm amused.

R&R isn't necessary, but it's nice nonetheless.