There were no lights on the conn-pod; Stalker Chaos stood quiet and waiting to be disassembled.
Elissa had volunteered him for what was about to happen, volunteered him to donate parts to bring Gipsy Danger back to life, and it was better than having him rot in Oblivion Bay or having him melted down to help build the God damn Wall of Life, but it still hurt. God, did it hurt. Stalker was part of her and she wasn't ready to say goodbye. But she would never be ready to say goodbye.
She sat in the dark conn-pod, back braced against the curve of the recess beneath the drive harnesses, or what was left of them. Lights filtered in from the repair bay, getting in through the hole in Stalker's head and illuminating the dark and twisted remains of Jared's harness and hers, still mostly intact even after the explosion. Elissa leaned her head back and closed her eyes, bringing the bottle of vodka to her lips and taking another long pull, the alcohol burning its way down her throat, bringing more tears to her eyes.
It still didn't make any sense to her, how she had survived and Jared hadn't. The experts who had examined the jaeger afterwards had given her theory after theory, but they didn't matter. She'd lost her finance, her co-pilot, her jaeger, and she was left to deal with that pain.
She swallowed another mouthful of vodka and set the bottle on the floor beside her. Elissa lifted her feet from where they had been sitting, ankles crossed, on the centre support for the lower part of the drive rig, and bent her knees, feet dangling into the open space housing the massive pistons that would, eventually, move the jaeger's feet. She peered down into the space as she had many times before, and imagined she was seeing Stalker lit up from the inside again, seeing the power flowing from his reactors to his arms and legs—she imagined she could hear the noises of his multitude of engines powering up, feel his heartbeat, as it were.
With a sigh loud enough to echo around the metal conn-pod, Elissa settled back against the wall, snatching up the vodka and pressing the bottle to her lips.
Her head was buzzing and she knew she should stop drinking. There was work to be done, a jaeger to be rebuilt, and it started in the morning.
Not for the first time, she wondered who they would get to pilot the old girl. With Yancy dead and Raleigh vanished, they would have to find someone new, and that didn't sit right with Elissa. But there was nothing she could do about it.
"Elissa, are you in here?"
She raised the hand holding the bottle of vodka so she didn't have to say yes.
Tendo appeared beside her, legs hanging free in the space as well. He held out his hand for the bottle and she gave it to him, watched him take a swig. "It's getting late."
She narrowed her eyes at Tendo, indignant. "What are you, my mom?"
He shook his head and put a hand on her knee, squeezing slightly. "I knew you wouldn't take this well, Pixie. I was just checking up on you."
Elissa sighed again and leaned her head on Tendo's shoulder, her friend wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. "Everything has just sort of gone to shit and having Stalker dismantled… it's just sort of the last straw. I mean, I know he's rebuilding Gipsy and that's great, but…" She made an exasperated noise and Tendo laughed. "The Wall of Life is a stupid idea and the PPDC is going to regret cutting funding to this program."
"I know."
After a few more seconds, Elissa got to her feet and climbed rather clumsily out of the recess, snagging the bottle of Vodka from Tendo as he climbed out as well. She moved in front of Jared's harness. "Goodbye," she whispered, pouring some of the booze on the floor before taking another swig. She handed the bottle back to Tendo when he extended his hand and the pair of them left the conn-pod in silence, Elissa only bumping her shoulder against his and asking, "Do you know who Gipsy's new pilots are going to be?" when they were well clear of Stalker Chaos.
"No ma'am."
"You're lying."
"Yes ma'am."