This couldn't be happening.
This couldn't be real, it had to be something he made up. The last fleeting moments of a dream that were all to real. Soon, surely, he would wake up and this would have just been a terrible nightmare.
The body slowly going cold in his arms told him it was not.
This was a living nightmare and there would be no waking from this pain.
Natsu looked down at the precious woman he held in his arms. Lucy… His Lucy…
He could barely form the thought. He couldn't… No, it was more than that. He wouldn't accept the reality staring up at him.
Streams of tears poured over his cheeks, silent and unchecked. She looked up at him as her own tears spilt over. She was too weak to move. He saw her try to lift her hand, but it wouldn't obey. He gently grabbed it in his own, brining it up to tenderly kiss it.
"Luce…" His voice broke halfway through her name and he felt something terrible ripping up through him, something that would never be able to heal.
"Na… Natsu…" She managed to choke out, her voice faint. Her eyes were glued on his and he tried to memorize ever small facet of her being. "Shh…" Her hand trembled in his and he knew that she was scared. He could feel it… He could feel her fear… "I love you Natsu, I always have…" Her face scrunched up in pain for a moment as her breathing came sharp and fast. It sounded rough to his ears, grating, like her lungs were trying to perform a task they could no longer accomplish. A deep crimson spread from her belly and seeped onto his hands and clothes.
He couldn't handle this.
He kept searching for hope. A flicker of light to show him that this was not what he feared. But, Wendy wasn't here. It was just Erza, Gray, Lucy, and him. The unstoppable four. He didn't even know how it had happened… All of a sudden she had been hit. His Lucy… His impenetrable Lucy. She was always so strong, he never actually believed that something or someone could take her from him. Especially, not the lowly people they were fighting. Fate had destined her to die by one lucky shot… And he couldn't accept that.
That's what it was. It had been one lucky shot. It had somehow sneaked by all of them, its presence unknown until he had heard the terrible squelch it had made as it worked its way through Lucy's tender flesh. He had turned and saw her falling onto her knees, eyes wide, blood already leaving her body unbelievably fast. In that moment, everything else froze, and Natsu had felt a part of himself come alight with anger. Within a minute he had engulfed his body and their enemies in an onslaught of flames. He was livid. The flames were wild and even he hadn't known he could create a fire with such force. His magic power reached unbelievable heights as his flames burned ever brighter.
Gray had frozen and stared at him, but he didn't care. The fire around them only continued to intensify.
It was only when he heard the soft moan of his name from Lucy lips that the anger within him was smothered by a deep fear that spread to ever cell within his body. He ran over to Lucy, pushing Erza out of the way so that he could pull Lucy up and hold her carefully in his arms. Erza didn't say anything, she just stepped a few feet back as Gray joined her. They just stood their, quiet.
Now, his world was caving in.
Anything… Anything except this… Why couldn't it have been him? Why? Why Lucy?
"DO SOMETHING!" His cry voiced his pain when he turned to yell desperately at Erza and Gray. His tears were unstoppable as they continued to stream down his face. "DO SOMETHING! Or… Or… She's going to…" His voice caught in his throat. There were tears in Erza's eyes.
Gray looked at him, hands clenched tightly into fists, a resigned look of pain painted across his face. "Natsu…"
"NO!" He roared.
Erza stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. "There's nothing we can do." For a moment Natsu wasn't sure if Erza would continue. He was looking at her, pleading with her, pleading for hope he knew they didn't have and couldn't offer.
He turned back to look at Lucy and felt Erza step away again.
She was getting weaker now and he leaned his forehead down to rest against hers. He stared into her eyes, desperate, wishing, remembering. Their time together floated across his mind and he wanted to cry out and curse the world. He gripped her tighter, careful not to cause her any more pain.
"I love you Luce…" His voice was deep and rough, sore from crying and his shouts. "I love you so much…" His desperation leaked into his voice and he pulled her in even closer, her blood pooling in the minuscule space between them. "Don't leave me…"
His tears were falling onto her now but she never broke eye contact. Somehow she must have gathered a little bit of strength because he felt her hand leave his and rest gently against his cheek.
"Tell Nashi…" She couldn't seem to finish, her breathing now even more erratic and raspy.
He gulped, a new kind of pain swirling up inside him. "I will my Luce… I will."
Lucy lips curled up in the faintest smile he had ever seen upon her beautiful face.
"Natsu…" Her voice like fading honey met his ears just before her body stilled, her hand fell, and he was left staring into lifeless eyes.
No…
No… No… No!
His eyes searched hers desperately. She couldn't be… No, she couldn't be…
His sobs wracked his body and he screamed. The most painful scream that anyone would ever hear. His pain etched his voice as his anger lashed out around him creating an impenetrable wall of intense flames.
"I love you… I love you… Luce… My Luce… My wife… I love you… My life… I love you… Luce…" He kept repeating it like a mantra as he pulled her body flush against his. His head was turned up towards the sky as he screamed out his anger into the cold, unfeeling, night.
It took a half hour before he lowered his wall of flames. He still couldn't look away from Lucy. He had closed her eyes, already knowing that their absent gaze was going to haunt his nightmares. As soon as the wall fell he could feel Erza's gentle presence approach him. She kneeled down beside him and then he heard her sob.
It was that, Erza's cry, that broke him from his trance.
He turned to look at her and for the first time since he had desperately clung to a near-lifeless and bloodied Lucy he noticed how his friends hurt.
They were both crying.
They were in pain too.
He loosened his grip on Lucy ever so slightly, just enough so that he could lower her body a bit so that she rested comfortably, almost seemingly only asleep, in his arms.
His heart was shredded.
What better word was there for what he was feeling? Shredded, annihilated, decimated, demolished… Extinguished.
That's it… He felt extinguished, like his life and very flames had ceased to be the moment her eyes had glazed over in the solitude of death.
Suddenly, he felt utterly alone.
The two beside him would be unable to help. He could hear them talking about moving Lucy, about brining her back to the guild, but he couldn't comprehend any of it.
"Please let me wake up…" His voice was soft and beseeching. "Please… Please…"
"Natsu…" It was Gray. He had leaned down beside him and placed a gentle hand on Lucy's cold arm. For a moment, he wanted to punch him. How dare he touch her… How dare he touch Lucy? But, then, all fire faded from him when he saw the pain deeply etched on Gray's face. "Let's bring Lucy home." When Natsu didn't move Gray sighed deeply and leaned down, motioning as if to pick her up. "Lucy would want that."
As he felt Lucy's weight leaving his arms he jumped and yanked her back from Gray. He stood now, holding her closely. He leaned her head to rest against his chest and held her tenderly against him. "I'll carry her." His voice was deep and threatening, a growl seeping through.
Gray only nodded and stood up. His eyes lingered upon Lucy's now dead form for a moment before he began to walk. Each step Natsu took felt impossible. Every minute that dragged on was a nightmare.
How did anyone survive this?
And he knew he wouldn't. Not really. He would never be who he was.
Lucy… She had been the biggest part of him. The most important piece… The only one who could calm the fire that would rage inside his soul. She was his home.
When the guild was in sight his own breathing had become shaky. The reality of the aftermath of Lucy's death was encroaching fast upon him and he didn't know if he could handle it. Erza pushed open the guild's doors and the once noisy atmosphere became unearthly quiet for a moment before Levy's agonizing cry screamed out and echoed across the frozen guild. Her cry broke them free from their shock and suddenly the pain from everyone else crashed down upon him.
Nearly an hour later Porlyusica was covering Lucy with a thin white cloth, shielding the body from the world and prying eyes. Natsu simply sat there, by her side. The tears were still falling and he briefly wondered if they would ever stop. He was frozen in time, constantly reliving the moment his entire life had changed. The moment he had seen blood dripping from her gut… He couldn't seem to work up the strength to move. It felt like each breath he took was a battle against his own soul which wished it had died right alongside his wife.
He heard a squeak as the door opened and looked up, only momentarily, to see Gajeel enter the room.
"Hey…" Gajeel reached a hand up and ran it nervously through his hair. Natsu was once again staring at where Lucy's face would be, now hidden under the cloth. "Levy she… She wanted to come but she couldn't…" Gajeel sighed deeply and collapsed into the chair beside Natsu. "Ah, hell, man. She couldn't stop crying." It was silent for a moment, a blanket of sadness hanging thick in the air. "She wanted me to tell you that if you need… We… We can take Nashi for the night."
With a lurch he remembered Nashi. It felt like his gut ripped open as he thought of their beautiful daughter waiting for them at home, carefully being watched by Happy. Somehow, impossibly, more tears spilt over. After an awkward moment Gajeel placed one big hand on Natsu's back.
"What am I going to do?" He didn't look away from Lucy, his voice so weak it was almost impossible to hear. Still, he knew the dragon-slayer beside him had heard the words and the pain laced within his voice.
"I don't know man… I don't know if I could…" Gajeel trailed off for a moment, removing his hand from Natsu's back. "But, you have to… For Nashi."
With a determination he didn't know he had he stood up and looked away from his wife. He looked Gajeel dead in the eye as he tried to work up all the courage he could muster. "No, I need to see Nashi… It has to be me…" He began to leave the room, hating each step that he took away from her. It felt like he was leaving her behind and he hated that feeling. When he reached the door he stopped, but didn't look back. "Just… Stay close…" It was the closest he was going to come to asking for help. But, he needed a backup plan just in case he broke down even further when he reached home. He needed someone who could watch Nashi in case he… In case he couldn't.
He didn't wait for a response, he knew Gajeel and Levy would comply, and left the room. No one tried to stop him as he left the guild. He began the long trek home, taking his time, and staring up at the moon-less sky. "Night of the new moon…" He muttered under his breath. Just then, as he stared at the twinkling effervescent stars above, he remembered Lucy's Celestial Spirits. They would know already… So, there was suffering tonight in the heavens as well…
When he reached the door of their home he dreaded pushing it open. He dreaded re-entering the place where they had been so happy, and where she would never be again. The memories surrounded him and pushed him down deeper and deeper into the welcoming hands of the depression surging around him.
He saw Lucy's bright smile as he helped her move in, her monstrous amount of bags in tow…
He saw them sitting outside under the stars as she taught him the constellations…
He saw their wedding in the backyard under a soaring oak tree. It had been simple, but full of love and happiness…
He saw her jumping on him excitedly before she leaned in and kissed him so hard and deep he thought he might faint. Then, she had leaned back and told him that she was pregnant…
He saw her with her giant belly, complaining about her swollen ankles, while he laughed and simply leaned down to kiss the life growing inside of her…
He saw them bringing baby Nashi home… He had never been happier then when he saw their child wrapped carefully in Lucy's loving arms…
Now, all that happiness, all of those memories, were shattered and stained by the everlasting pain of her death.
With a deep sigh he pushed open the door and was almost immediately met by an ecstatic Happy.
Natsu tried to relish that look on Happy's face. It was innocent, unknowing, still full of joy.
But, it only took a moment before Happy noticed the lack of a certain blond-haired wizard following behind him and his own devastated expression.
"No…" Happy's voice was meek and suddenly Natsu found that he didn't have the power to answer him. So, instead, he simply nodded and watched as Happy fell into a puddle on the floor.
He wanted to lean down and comfort him, but there was something more important he needed to do. He needed to see his daughter. He needed to see the small part of Lucy that still lived. He walked into her small room, he had built it himself after finding out Lucy was pregnant, and found her sitting on the floor busily coloring in a picture of a lion.
She turned around to look at him with a face-splitting grin as she held up her picture proudly to him. He knelt down and took the picture gingerly in his hands. She was only two… She was still so young, and now, without her mother…
That thought made the tears start up again.
"Daddy?" She quirked her head at him, confused, as she waddled up to wrap her little hands around his fingers, pulling his attention away from her picture.
He stared at her, their beautiful, perfect, baby girl. She had his salmon hair. It was wild and adorably messed atop her head. Her spirit was much like his, full of enthusiasm. Lucy had often joked that when she grew up she would be demolishing the guild just as often as he did. But, she had Lucy's eyes and smile. It hurt, looking at her. Still, he couldn't stop himself. Those eyes… So like Lucy's…
"Why sad, Daddy?" Her little hands were clutching him tightly now, tears welling up in her eyes as her smile fell. He pulled her in closer and held her tight, careful not to squeeze too hard. He calmed himself slightly, his tears stilling. But, then, she spoke again and he collapsed within himself.
"Where's Mommy?"
He didn't answer her, he couldn't.
"Daddy… Where's Mommy?" She tried to pull her little body away from him to look in his eyes, but he wouldn't let her. He couldn't… "I want Mommy…" She was crying now, her cry sharp to his ears. "Daddy, I want Mommy!" Her voice cracked and his tears fell again, silent and never ending.
He pulled away slightly, holding her out with both of his arms so he could look into her sobbing face. Her cheeks were already red and splotchy from her tears, and he knew he was about it make it worse.
"Mommy isn't coming home." He had to choke out the words, each a dagger to his soul.
She looked confused, her tears stopping momentarily. "Not come home?"
He shook his head at her. "No, Mommy isn't coming home Nashi."
"Why?!" Her tears were back. He could tell that she was only just grasping at understanding. "Why?!" Her pleas echoed around him and he bent to her will.
"She's…" He gulped realizing that he hadn't said the word out loud yet. "She's dead. Mommy died Nashi. Do you know what that means?"
Her little tears continued as her fists balled into his shirt. He pulled her close, letting her tears stain his T-shirt. Suddenly, he was glad that Gray had forcibly made him change into some spare clothes that were kept lying around at the guild for when he would end up naked and confused as to where his shirt and pants had gone. Nashi didn't need to see him covered in her mother's blood…
"It means she isn't here anymore. She is gone."
Nashi's tears turned into wails as he felt her little arms and legs lash out at him in disbelief. "No, Mommy no die!"
"Yes… Nashi, I'm so sorry… Mommy died…" It killed him. It simply killed him to tell her that, to have to admit to her the terrible reality they now lived in. "But, Mommy loved you. She wanted me to tell you that. She loves you so very much." The little girl in his arms stilled and held on to him tightly. She cried until she fell asleep, exhausted, within his arms.
Memories would not stop flashing through his mind. He sat there, his back against a wall, their little girl in his arms, as the memories washed over him.
He was surrounded by them. They overflowed his senses and pulled painfully at his heart.
He wasn't sure how long it had been before Happy walked dejectedly into the room. His ears were hung low as he came and slumped down beside Natsu. Nashi was sound asleep in his arms, some soft fitful cries escaping her every once in a while.
"Lucy's dead?" Happy's question rang through the air, a wish locked inside it. A wish for it to not be true, for him to somehow be mistaken.
Natsu nodded and looked away from his little blue friend.
His world had crashed landed on an uncharted planet that he didn't know how, or even wanted, to navigate.
Three days later they had her funeral. It was a somber affair. Even the sky above seemed to morn in the night. Natsu had made them hold the funeral during Lucy's favorite time of day, right when the sun had disappeared and the stars had begun to seep into the night sky. He looked up at them now and couldn't help but curse the Celestial Spirits who resided there. They hadn't protected her…
…But, neither had he.
Every day Nashi would ask for her mother. She would wake up screaming and when he would run to her side all she would say was, "Mommy! I want my Mommy!".
It tore his heart open anew every time.
During the funeral Nashi had stood there in a black dress, silent, stoic, and holding his hand. It was as if the reality of Lucy's death only really sunk in for her as the body was laid into the cold, hard, ground.
Her silence was disturbing, but he was in no fit state to comfort her.
He was a mess, and he knew it. He hadn't ate anything since she died. He had hardly slept. The few times he did, somehow, fall asleep he would wake up in a cold sweat, the memory of Lucy's eyes fading into death fresh in his mind.
It was torture.
The day before he had decided something, and as the other guild members slowly left the gravesite he motioned for Gajeel and Levy to stay behind. Only once the others were gone did he turn to look at them, gently pulling a limp Nashi away from the sight of her mother's grave.
"I need to ask a favor…"
Levy's sad eyes rose to meet his, as if she already knew what he was about to ask. "Anything." Gajeel nodded, agreeing with his wife.
"I need you to take Nashi…"He knew he couldn't take care of her, not the way she deserved, not now. Not now when he was so torn apart he couldn't even care for himself. It took all of his energy to simply make himself get out of bed.
Gajeel's eyes widened slightly, but Levy simply nodded. "Of course, Natsu. I'd do anything for…"
Lucy's name hung unspoken within the space between them.
Gajeel looked at his wife briefly before turning to give him a reassuring smile. "We will take good care of her." The small smile faded as he glanced at Nashi's frowning face. "How long?"
The question floated there for a minute before he had the courage to answer.
"I don't know."
He became a wanderer. He was never at the guild long, only long enough to pick up the most dangerous and exhausting quest he could find. He would leave for weeks on end, completing his mission with an impressive amount of determination and single-mindedness. If he focused solely on the mission, solely on beating anything and anyone in his way into a bloody pulp, he didn't feel the pain quite as strongly.
Without him barely noticing three years went by and the pain still hung in his heart just as powerfully as the moment she had died.
He missed her.
Oh, God, did he miss her.
It was a constant ache that resided deep within his soul. He couldn't rid himself of it no matter what he tried.
Seeing Nashi, well, that just made it hurt even worse.
Still, he knew the time away from his daughter needed to come to an end. He had vented his anger, he had screamed out his frustrations at the world as he ignited it in flame. He had even managed to find Aquarius's key along his journeys. It now hung as a painful reminder around his neck.
Lucy would have been overjoyed at having found the key again, at being reunited with her long-lost friend. He knew that… The weight of the key was a slightly comforting presence. He planned to give it to Nashi when he saw her again, letting the key rejoin the rest. He had been careful not to loose any of Lucy's keys in the commotion of her death and had left them in the safe care of Levy fearing that his daughter was still too young to keep track of something so precious. He was heading towards Gajeel and Levy's house now, and this time he wouldn't leave her behind. Nashi was five now, it was time he stepped up, no matter the lingering pain within his heart.
When he reached the house he entered without permission. Levy looked up at him, startled, from her place on the couch. Her giant belly swollen with twins. A moment later a deep laughter reached his ears as Gajeel entered the room, Nashi riding on his shoulders as she playfully pulled on his hair.
Gajeel looked so happy that Natsu wanted to punch him in the face.
Sometimes, other people's happiness was impossible to bear.
When they saw him they stilled and Nashi's once giant smile fell.
"Hey."
No one replied for a moment. They hadn't seen him in nearly six months by now, he had made it a point to enter and leave the guild unseen. Much like Mystogan had in the past.
"Hey…" Gajeel trailed off before he gently removed Nashi from his shoulders and put her on the ground.
She had grown so much. He let himself soak it in for a moment. Lucy's eyes looked back at him from her small face and he had to forcibly smash the pain that rose up in him from the familiar look.
"Its good to see you again, Natsu." Levy carefully stood up, having to maneuver quite strangely in order to propel herself off of the couch, before walking up to him smiling brightly. He couldn't help but crack a small smile back at her. That was something he didn't do much of anymore, smile, really smile. That part of him had died when Lucy did.
"When are you due?" He had hoped his voice would sound happy for them, but instead it fell flat and hollow.
Levy's smile only slightly faltered before she regained her composure, "In a few weeks!" her voice was chipper.
Natsu remembered that time… He had been a bundle of nerves as Lucy had approached her due date and had waited on her hand and foot. She would laugh at his over-anxious antics before pulling him in for a kiss, her big belly between them.
"I'm happy for you." This time he managed to let some enthusiasm leak into his voice, still, it wasn't much.
Gajeel, on the other hand, didn't look nearly as happy.
"Why are you here, Natsu?" His voice was stern.
Natsu turned and stared at his former foe turned friend. He had guessed it might be hard to take Nashi away from them. He had left her there longer than he had planned and they had grown attached. For three years they had cared for her as their own. For three years Gajeel and Levy gave Nashi the love that he had been unable to show. For three years they had been a makeshift family.
"You know why I'm here."
The air was suddenly laced with tension. No one noticed the little girl who walked slowly up to her Daddy. It was only when she was tugging on the lowest part of his white scarf did anyone recognize that she had moved.
"Daddy?"
His eyes met hers and he managed to smile a bit more, Lucy's eyes commanding him to at least be a bit more like his old self. "Nashi, I missed you." He kneeled down so they were face to face, her small hand still tightly holding his scarf.
"You were gone a long time." She looked away from him, instead studying the scarf she clutched in her hand.
"I know… But, that won't happen again." His eyes flashed up to meet Gajeel's angry glare before looking back at his little girl. "I've come to take you home."
She looked up at him, her big eyes wide in confusion. "I am home, Daddy."
He heard a little yelp of surprise, no more than a sharp intake of breath, when Levy heard her say that.
His brows furrowed. "No, this is not home. This was…" He searched for the right word, unable to come up with something appropriate he used the best next thing, "… a sleepover. Just a very long sleepover. Daddy can take care of you now. Daddy and Happy. Do you remember Happy?" Happy had been traveling with him. He was his only companion, the only one he allowed himself to open up to, the only one he didn't feel ashamed to still cry in front of.
The little girl nodded, her now long salmon hair flowing over her shoulders. "The blue kitty."
Natsu laughed a little despite himself. "Yes, the blue kitty."
Nashi smiled and clapped her hands together happily, her eyes shinning bright. It warmed his heart and made the pain ebb slightly away. "Go pack your things, we will leave soon."
She still looked a little confused, but she was smiling as she ran to her room. Natsu stood up and looked at the frozen couple in front of him.
"You knew this would happen eventually."
Where Levy's eyes had once held untold happiness, now only contained unshed tears. "I know…" Her voice was weak and timid. Gajeel reacted, he strode over to his wife and wrapped one strong arm around her back, supporting her weight as she leaned against him, her face hiding in his hair.
"We love her." It almost sounded like a threat.
Natsu glared back at him. "Not like I do."
It was silent for a moment until Nashi came running back in, a small bag in her hand and a stuffed lion under her arm. She froze between the two grown dragon-slayers, both with anger in their eyes.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was so innocent, so pure, that it broke the escalating tension pervading the room.
Levy moved and with Gajeel's help managed to sit down on the ground to look Nashi in the eye. "Nothings wrong my dear. You are just going to go live with your Daddy now and that makes Uncle Gajeel and I very sad."
"Why?"
Levy smiled faintly. "Because we love you, sweetheart."
Nashi's grin was huge as she threw open her arms and wrapped Levy in a hug. "I love you too Aunty Levy." Levy's arms wrapped gingerly around the tiny girl and held her close. Natsu waited patiently, he couldn't ignore the fact that this would be hard for them, he couldn't ignore that he saw a sheen of tears in Gajeel's eyes. After all, even the great Black-Steel Gajeel wasn't unfeeling.
"Aunty Levy's right… We love you, Nashi. You can always come visit, ok?" Gajeel's voice almost sounded pleading, his eyes never once leaving Natsu. Natsu nodded slightly and saw a small, resigned, smile spread across Gajeel's face. "Ok, then…" Gajeel turned to Levy and helped pull her up, gently untangling her from Nashi's hug. "I think its time you went home with Daddy, don't you?"
Two years simultaneously went by painfully slow and incredibly fast. Whenever he was with Nashi time seemed to fly by. His little girl was growing up so fast that it scared him. She had even started school soon after he took her back home. Even still, when she started going she had a distinct advantage over the other kids due to Levy's tutoring in the previous three years. Lucy had always talked about Nashi going to school like she had. She knew that Natsu had mostly learned everything from either Igneel or his guild mates. She wanted Nashi to have the best of both worlds, school and the influence from the guild. Nashi was seven years old now and she was starting to look more and more like Lucy while she began acting more and more like himself. Well, at least who he was before Lucy had died.
He still wasn't the same and he was sure he never would be.
Still, he smiled more now. Genuinely smiled. But, that only happened around Nashi. She had a power over him just like her mother had.
When he wasn't with Nashi that's when things would go… Bad.
He would go out on jobs and take out his frustration, anger, and sadness on whatever dared block his way. He was a wildfire, just waiting for an excuse to explode.
He kept thinking that his pain would eventually fade. He kept hoping that the anger he felt towards himself for letting that stray shot hit her would crumble away. But, it never happened. The pain was just as strong and vibrant as the moment she had left this world, just now he could put on a mask and function within society. The guilt and anger never left him, if possible it had only intensified. He sighed while looking down into his now cold soup.
"Daddy?" Her voice was so like Lucy's that it made him flinch. He hoped she hadn't noticed. He turned to look at her and smiled at his little girl. She had on a flowery dress that reminded him of spring time. She held a picture in her hand.
"What's that?" He got off of his stool and walked over to plop down into a chair. She came up beside him and held it out for him to see. It was a very old picture of Erza, Gray, Lucy, and him in front of the guild hall. He remembered taking it. His arm was slung casually over Lucy's shoulders. It was from shortly after she had first joined Fairy Tail. He frowned slightly. If he could go back in time… He would have liked to knock some sense into himself. He had taken so long to realize his feelings that she had been the one to actually kiss him first. He had been so ignorant, so blind, to his own feelings that it wasn't until her soft lips pressed against his that it all aligned in his head. He loved her, he had always loved her, he just hadn't known it.
"Where'd you get this?" One eyebrow rose as he looked at her. She looked down, ashamed.
"I found it in the box under your bed."
He kept a box of pictures and keepsakes in a small box under his bed so that they were always close by and in reach. He sighed before reaching over and rubbing the top of her head, messing her hair. She gave him a dirty look for screwing up her hairdo before she laughed at him and pushed his hand away.
Nashi paused for a minute and pushed the picture closer to his face. "I know that's Aunty Erza and Uncle Gray… Even though he looks a lot grumpier." Natsu laughed slightly. Gray had changed a lot in the last few years. After Lucy's death he had finally allowed Juvia into his heart. It was as if Lucy's death had made him realize that Juvia wouldn't be waiting there forever, something could happen to her too, and he would loose his happiness just like Natsu had. It had made him brave enough to act. Now, they were married and expecting their first child. Gray, well, he wasn't usually frowning anymore. "But, who's this blonde lady?"
Natsu froze, his whole body going stiff.
When he didn't answer Nashi climbed up onto his lap and leaned into his shoulder, against his heart. A painful memory tore at him as he remembered that was where Lucy's head had laid as he carried her still form back to the guild one last time.
"She's pretty. Your arm is around her. Did you like her?"
When he still didn't say anything she put the picture on her lap and put one hand on each of his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "Daddy, who is that?"
He gulped and forced his now dry mouth to speak. "That's your Mommy."
Nashi's hands left his face and she moved to carefully hold the picture. Her small fingers grazed over the surface tenderly. "Mommy?"
"Yea…" His voice was soft. He hadn't realized that Nashi didn't know what Lucy looked like anymore. Five years was a long time for a child. She had been too young when Lucy died to really remember her. Plus, he had never put pictures up. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was just that he barely had any. In his possession he only had a total of five that contained Lucy. All of them sat safe beneath his bed. Only now did he realize what a mistake that was. He hadn't even realized that he was keeping Nashi's mother from her. "That's your Mommy, her name was Luce."
"Lucy…" She mumbled. "She has pretty hair."
"Do you remember the keys I gave you? The ones I said you can use on your next birthday?" She nodded. "Those belonged to your Mommy." Her mouth dropped open in a little 'o'. "She loved those keys, her Celestial Spirits. You know how I'm a fire dragon-slayer?" She nodded again, vigorously, and her salmon hair bounced wildly around her. "She was a Celestial Spirit mage, she could call down the spirits of the constellations."
"Really?" Her voice was full of curiosity and he tried to smile down at her, but it was hard… It was hard to relive the memories.
"Yep!" He forced the eagerness into his voice. "She was very strong, she could call several spirits at once, and use a spell called Urano Metria."
"Wow…" His daughters amazed expression spoke volumes to him. She looked down at the picture and stared at the mother she would never know. It tore at his soul. Her little eyebrows scrunched together in concentration for a minute before she asked the question he could tell was on her mind. "Daddy…" She turned to look at him, her big eyes beautiful and so reminiscent of Lucy's. "Did Mommy want to leave me?"
He felt his breath catch in his throat. Tears poured unexpectedly and he quickly pulled Nashi in tight against him.
"Did I say something wrong?" Her small hands were holding him tight, upset that she had made him cry.
"No… You said nothing wrong Nashi… No, your Mommy didn't want to leave you. She wanted to stay. She wanted to see you group up. She wanted to bring you to your first day of school, she wanted to bring you shopping, and read books to you. She was so excited to see you grow…"
His soul was ripping apart anew. He had to make sure, completely sure, that Nashi knew her mother loved her and had never, ever, wanted to leave her. He pulled back and looked at her seriously.
"Mommy loved you. She loved you more than anything. Mommy loved us, she never wanted to leave us."
Tears were flowing over her little face and she picked up the picture again. Her voice was so soft, even with his enhanced hearing he almost missed it.
"I miss you Mommy… I love you."
The first Celestial Spirit that Nashi ever called was Aquarius. She had stuck the key in a small fishbowl and was completely flabbergasted when the powerful mermaid somehow appeared. A scowl laced Aquarius's face.
"Lucy, I told you not to call me from a lowly fish bowl anymore!" Her voice was sharp, but then her eyes widened and her whole form relaxed as a soft, "Oh…" escaped her lips. It was like she had momentarily forgotten that Lucy was gone. Her scowl firmly locked back into place and she had turned towards Nashi and smirked.
"You're the kid?" Nashi nodded, eyes wide. "What's your name?"
"Nashi."
"Well, brat, don't call me from a fishbowl again." Aquarius glanced at Natsu, a silent understanding passing between them, before she looked back at the now eight year old Nashi. Her look lingered for a moment before she flipped her hair over her shoulder and disappeared.
That day was over two years ago and ever since Aquarius had been Nashi's favorite Celestial Spirit to call. She had tried calling the others, to various levels of success. But, she was growing stronger and improving every day. She was dead set on being a strong Celestial Spirit mage, just like her Mom was.
Having the spirits around again was a bit weird for Natsu. He was happy when he got to reunite with Loke. It had been a sad reunion, many things going unsaid between the two. They simply understood each other, both knowing that they had lost someone that was irreplaceable. The spirits dotted on Nashi and she loved them back, just like her mother had. Aquarius seemed to be particularly attached, even though she would never admit it.
It had been eight years now since Lucy had passed. Eight years of continual pain. She still hadn't left his heart. She resided there permanently. He saw her in Nashi, he saw her in everything around him. In their house, in their yard, in the stars at night. She was always in his thoughts. Today was the eighth anniversary of her death and he was heading towards the exact spot that she had died in his arms. He went there every year. It was actually a lovely spot, a small hillside that was covered with soft pink and purple flowers. If it hadn't been where his Lucy had died he would have loved it there. He crested the top of the small hill and stopped.
He took a deep breath and steadied himself before he faced the girl behind him. Nashi had grown so fast, it still astounded him. This was the first time he had taken her here. He still wasn't sure that he should have brought her, but she had begged him and he had eventually relented.
"Is this it?"
He simply nodded and sat down in the bed of flowers.
Nashi stood, looking out at the field around her, her long salmon hair flowing in the gentle breeze. "Its pretty."
"It is."
The quiet surrounded them, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was simply a presence that settled all around them and hugged them closer. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting the breeze wash over his face. "Luce…" His voice was deep and husky. He could feel Nashi looking at him, but he didn't open his eyes. Being here was different from being at Lucy's grave. He couldn't actually explain it, but being here, the place where she had died, he simply felt closer to her. He felt Nashi sit down beside him and they stayed like that for a long time. It was quiet, just the pleasant sound of chirping birds around them.
"Dad?"
"Hm?" He didn't open his eyes, he wanted to bask in this feeling for as long as he could. The feeling that Lucy was somehow near…
"Do you still love Mom?"
He opened his eyes and looked at her, she was already intently examining his face. She was a very curious child, extremely inquisitive, and smart.
"Of course I do."
Nashi turned away from him. "It has been eight years… Don't you deserve to be happy?"
Where had that thought come from? He sat up straighter so that he could make this next fact plainly clear to her. "Nashi, I love Luce. I will always love Luce. I have always loved Luce. It isn't something that will change just because of death…" His eyes turned away from her and searched the clouds above as memories floated through him. It wasn't quite as painful anymore, he could let the memories wash over him without bursting into tears or feeling an unstoppable rage. "She is and forever will be a part of me, and that will never change. I could never love another."
Nashi simply sighed, exasperated, and looked away from him. He knew that she didn't really understand. She never knew her mother, she couldn't remember the love that had exuded between them. All Nashi knew were stories and pictures. He had done his best, ever since realizing that she didn't recognize her own mother, to bring Lucy back into their lives. He put up the few pictures he had and asked the other guild members to share some with Nashi. Levy and Erza had been the most eager to participate in that. Nashi had only grown up seeing her father sad and alone. He rubbed his temple, regretfully resigning himself to accepting and understanding Nashi's point of view. She only wanted him to actually be happy, something which she couldn't remember ever seeing before.
He reached over to the small bag they had brought with them and pulled out a worn leather bound journal. Nashi's eyebrows rose questioningly, but he motioned for her to be silent. He ran his fingers gently over the cover before he opened it up and was greeted by Lucy's beautiful hand writing.
"A Fairy's Tale" by Lucy Heartfilia Dragneel
He smirked when he saw her old last name crossed out. She had scribbled it out to write in his when they had gotten married. Reading this was emotional for him, it had taken him a year after her death before he had even cracked the cover to look. It wasn't finished, but there was a good two hundred pages carefully written by Lucy's hand. She had fictionalized their life and adventures. It started off with a young girl joining a crazy and boisterous guild and continued all the way through the whole Tartaros debacle. She never had the chance to update it further, she had died leaving her novel forever an unfinished work of art. Nashi had stood up and was now eagerly looking over his shoulder, reading along with him. He flipped the page and was once again greeted by the dedication that awaited him there.
To Natsu: You showed me what real love is. You gave me my home.
I love you, I always have and I always will.
To Nashi: You are Mommy's heart and Daddy's pride.
Believe in yourself and you can do anything you dream of my little dragon girl.
Natsu smiled sadly down at the words that he had memorized long before. He heard Nashi gasp slightly, but he didn't turn around or say anything. She needed a moment to take in what he was holding. When she sat down again beside him his smile grew as he gently placed the worn book into her hands. She looked up at him questioningly as he removed his own.
"This is yours now." He smiled again, still looking at the book. It was only right to give it to her, she was old enough to read and appreciate it for what it was. "Your Mom wrote about our lives, about the guild, about our adventures. Some names and things may be changed, but that is your Mom's life history in there…" He trailed off, cherishing the amazed look that was plastered across Nashi's face. "I've had it for eight years, I think it's your turn now. Your Mom would have wanted you to have it so that you could know her… It's unfinished, she never had the chance to write more past what happened with Tartaros."
"Tartaros?" She looked up at him, confused once again, making him laugh.
"Guess I never told you about that in detail, huh?" He smirked and allowed himself to feel a small sense of mirth. "A lot has happened to Lucy and I… A lot you need to learn about. After you read it I'll tell you stories about our other adventures. Nashi, I want you to know your Mom as best as you can."
Nashi stared down at the book in her hands sadly. Without saying a word she opened it to the first page and he watched as her eyes took in the words written by her mother's hand. The mother that she would never get the chance to know in person. This was the closest she would get. Her small fingers ran gently over the writing and he turned to let her be.
They sat like that, Nashi reading, Natsu reminiscing, until the sun sank below the horizon dotting the sky a wonderful blend of red and orange.
Now, Natsu was not a saint, and twelve years without the love of your live was a long time. To Natsu, it felt like an eternity. He was dragging himself home, despising himself for what he had done, for what he had been doing, nearly twice a year for the last nine years. It had taken him three years after Lucy's death before he fell into the embrace of another woman. He hated himself for it. He always had to reason with himself that it was ok, Lucy was long gone and he needed release… But, every single time after he had finished and was on his way home he felt completely and utterly disgusted with himself. These were not women he could ever love, they were not Lucy, and that made him feel like he was betraying her. He knew it wasn't logical, but that was how he felt.
It was like he was cheating on her…
Betraying her precious memory…
More than once he had moaned out Lucy's name, but he never cared. He had started to earn a reputation around the shadier parts of town as being a player. He didn't want Nashi to hear such rumors so, ever since, he had only allowed himself to indulge himself if he was out on a mission. He'd let himself fall for an hour and obey his primal urges.
He just wished he didn't hate himself afterwards.
Thoughts of Lucy danced through his mind, the memories still as vibrant as the day they were created. He relived them constantly, desperate to never forget a single thing. He let his mind wander back to their first time together… To when he was able to physically express his love to her and he moaned in regret to himself.
"Stop it Natsu… Stop it, you did nothing wrong."
Still, it sure felt like he had.
The only person he had told about his misbehaved wanderings was Gray. Gray just seemed to… understand. It was hard to put into words. Whenever he would get back after one of these outings Gray would be able to tell the instant he saw Natsu's face. He was always there, supporting him and helping him work through it even though he had two little children at home.
It still hurt to see other people happy.
Everyone else in the guild had moved on. Lucy's picture hung, nicely polished, in the corner above the bar where Mira worked. But, otherwise, her presence had disappeared from the place she had loved so much. People were married, having children, their families constantly expanding as the little ones slowly grew up and joined the guild themselves. Even Nashi, now fourteen, had a pink guild stamp on her hand… Just like Lucy had. Besides her, Erza and Jellal had finally gotten together and had a ten year old son, Gajeel and Levy's twins were about nine and their youngest was only five, Gray and Juvia had two children by now too… Even Happy had finally persuaded Charlie to give him a chance. Everyone's lives were moving forward…
Everyone's except for his…
Still, that's how he wanted it. He didn't want to pull his mind away from Lucy. He had always known that she would be locked inside his heart, that he would never be able to love another. It was something hard to explain. People at the guild would come up to him, try to set him up on dates, try to get him to move on and find love again… They simply didn't understand that was impossible for him…
There were only two people who seemed to truly get that he would never be able to move past his love for Lucy. Gajeel and Gray had become indispensable friends throughout the years, and he leaned on them more than he had ever thought he would. Things with Gajeel had been a bit tense for a few years after he took Nashi back, but they had worked through it. He had brought Nashi over to their house at least once a week to let Levy teach her and so she could play with the twins. Nashi loved those little blue-haired rug-rats. The way her face lit up when she saw them made his heart feel light.
More than once, when Nashi was small, she had asked if she would ever have a brother or sister. He had never answered her, instead he would always change the topic. After a few years she stopped asking.
Oh, how he wished he could give her that. To see Lucy pregnant again, to have another child that was the perfect mix of both of their genes would have made his world. But, that could never be.
When he walked back into the house his teenage daughter was sitting on the couch, rereading "A Fairy's Tale" once again. She read it often and had even memorized parts by now. He would hear her reading aloud in her room at night sometimes, as if she was trying to bring her mother closer to her by just the words Lucy had left behind. When he sat down across from her in the chair she looked up and frowned at him before returning her gaze to the book.
"You look upset." Her eyes never wavered from the handwriting in the old book in front of her.
He scoffed and turned his face away from her, attempting to hide his shame. She looked so much like her mother now. Her body was starting to develop and she was all Lucy, just maybe a bit more toned due to her constant work outs with him and the other guild members. Her magic power had only grown, she could already call three spirits at once, though not for very long, and had started to learn the basics of more advanced spells like Urano Metria. She was advanced and her magic power only seemed to be increasing as she aged. The only part of Natsu that lingered in her was her long, wavy, salmon colored hair and wild spirit. She was exactly like him when it came to using magic, but outside of that she was much more contemplative and intellectually inquisitive like Lucy had been.
"You know your allowed to be happy again."
He froze at her words, and decided to force a lie past his teeth. She still hadn't looked away from the book. "I am happy, Nashi."
She looked up at him with her trademarked teenage scowl. She was going through mood swings a lot lately, and he could tell that she had been missing her Mom. He knew that female issues were going to start coming up, things that he didn't have experience with and had absolutely no idea how to explain, so he had made sure that Levy had helped her get through the bumpy start of being a teenage girl. He had first thought of Erza… and then changed his mind. Levy would be much more gentle with the way she expressed and explained things whereas Erza could be a little… intense.
"Don't lie to me, Dad."
He gulped and didn't meet her eyes. It still pained him. When he looked at her he saw his Lucy, and it tugged at his heart and mind. He couldn't see those eyes looking at him in anger or sadness. He knew that was weak, and it was one more thing he added on to the list of things he hated about himself.
"I'm not lying." He said stubbornly and defiantly. Finally, gaining the mental courage, he looked at his daughter and his mind flashed him an image of Lucy from when they had first met. To when she had bought Happy and himself food and they had dramatically bowed down in gratitude. She was so young then, he realized, not much older than Nashi was now.
Her eyes squinted together as she analyzed him. It was the same expression Lucy had when she tried to solve a difficult problem. It was completely adorable. Nashi's hair fell in her face and with an exaggerated motion she swept it to the side. "I look like Mom, don't I?" She looked at him accusingly, like it was somehow his fault she resembled Lucy.
He sighed and stood up, stepping closer to his daughter. "Yes, and that's a good thing. You carry a part of your Mom inside of you, she lives on through you. You have no idea how much you two are alike."
When he finished speaking her hard face softened. "Looking like her makes you sad. Dad, you're always sad."
Natsu tried to plaster on his old trademarked grin, but found it was lackluster. "It doesn't make me sad, Nashi. It makes me happy. It brings back good memories. I love that you look like your Mom." He managed to sprout a genuine smile just as she looked up at him, tears brimming in her beautiful eyes.
"It's been twelve years Dad, she would want you to be happy, she would want you to move on… I can tell, from reading this…" She pointed to the book that rested on her lap. "More than anything, she wanted you to be happy."
He felt tears threatening his own eyes so he had to look away from his daughter and ignore the desperate plea in her voice. "Nashi, listen…" He couldn't even help it as his magic power washed over them. It leaked out of him, sputtered in random bursts as he tried to suppress its strength. He didn't want to scare her. He knew how strong he was by now, his magic power was tremendous and with practice he had learned how to conceal it from others so they wouldn't feel squashed by it in his presence.
He had never let it show, just how powerful he was, around Nashi.
Sure, when they trained he would let her get a glimpse of his strength. He still remembered when she was a baby and he stood in front of her, finger on fire, how excited she had been. Her little chubby baby hands had clapped together as she begged for more, Lucy laughing at them from the corner of the room. He had only let her see the amount of strength that he had possessed around the time he had first met Lucy, always a little worried that Nashi would be afraid of his more demonic side.
He watched as her eyes widened in shock as his magic aura settled around them in the confined room. Her mouth dropped open before she quickly snapped it shut. The sheer amount of power he contained within his body demanded her to obey. He had never done this before, had never allowed his strength to shape how she behaved around him, but he had to make one point very clear to her.
He turned to look at her and he could feel the flame behind his eyes. His spirit was ignited as he forced her to accept this one, certain, fact. "I will never love another. I will only ever love my Luce, your Mom. There. Is. No. One. Else. For. Me." He emphasized each word, making them reverberate in the space between them. "Do not tell me to move on. I won't, I can't, I never will." The passion in his voice burned his words and ignited their meaning. It was clear that Nashi understood. She nodded her head timidly, her eyes still wide as saucers. He brought his magic power back under control, returning the room to normal, but they still remained silent for several minutes.
"Wow, Dad… That was…" She sounded breathy, as if lost inside a dream. He winced, a little worried now that he had scared her. "Your frickin' strong!" She stood up and strode across the room to hug him. She didn't need to say anything else. He knew she understood, as best as she was able, that he would never get over his true love.
He smirked and wrapped his arms around his little girl, temporarily ignoring her slightly inappropriate language use. She didn't usually do hugs anymore since she had become a teenage woman, so he cherished this moment. He put one hand on top her head to mess up her hair. He heard her fuss slightly, a muffled "hey!" escaping from where she was pressed against his chest.
"You have no idea Nashi… No idea at all." He leaned back and lifted up his arms in the air to show his flexed muscles. "Your Daddy is the strongest of them all!" He laughed playfully and she joined him.
She smirked for a second, her comeback ready on her lips. "Bet your still not stronger than Aunty Erza."
And with that she turned and walked into her room, laughing her head off, as he stood there, jaw open, and face aghast.
Lucy haunted his dreams. On the night of Nashi's eighteenth birthday he had a nightmare that made him wake, desperately gasping for air. In his dream he was standing on the hill where she had died so long ago. He was alone and that loneliness pressed in upon him like a weight or an anchor that held him to the earth, not allowing him to reach up and join Lucy where she was undoubtedly waiting for him. He had had this dream many times in the past, where the loneliness would press in upon him so strongly that it felt like he was about to suffocate, he would wake up with the image of Lucy's eyes loosing life fresh in his mind.
But, this time, the dream was different.
He was just about to succumb to the loneliness when he felt a presence behind him. He felt her. His head wiped around and disbelief smashed into him as he took in the sight of Lucy in a simple white dress. She had no shoes on and her long blonde hair ran unrestrained down her back. It was blowing in the wind ever-so-slightly as she looked at him and smiled. Her grin was so wide, it was simply intoxicating.
"Luce?" His voice sounded desperate, pleading even.
She nodded and he tried to scramble to his feet, but the weight of his loneliness still pushed down around him and all he could manage to do was scramble to his knees and try to crawl towards her. He was sure he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. She was right there! So close, yet so far. He tried and tried to reach her, calling out her name in pained whimpers as the distance between them only grew instead of lessened.
She knelt down onto the dewy grass and smiled sadly at him, shaking her head. Tears overwhelmed his eyes and he couldn't force them back. He wanted to hold her again!
"Luce! Please!" His voice cracked, his pain vibrant and fresh.
She shook her head again and mouthed something, but he couldn't hear it. His mind was scrambling, freaking out, as she continued to speak, her words lost on him.
"I can't hear you! Luce! Please! Come back…" He had to choke back a violent sob as she stood and looked as if she was going to leave. Her back was facing him now and, for a moment, all was still before a sudden vibrant red began to seep through her pretty white dress.
The moment he saw the blood it was like whatever spell had been placed upon him had broken. He could suddenly move again and in an instant he was sprinting towards her, only just making it in time to catch her as she fell.
He held her the same way that he had held her the last time she took breath.
Her eyes met his and he was caught in her beauty. His hand came up to move her hair out of her face. She felt so utterly real…
"Natsu…" Her lips didn't move but the voice was clearly hers, ringing inside his head. His eyes widened as he looked down at the woman in his arms. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, relishing the small bit of warmth that remained there.
"Luce…"
The girl beneath him frowned slightly as her small hand came up to hold his face. He leaned into her touch, completely absorbed in the moment as his salty tears coated her hand.
"Why are you crying?" Her voice sounded faint and far away. "Don't cry, Natsu. I'm here."
That somehow only made the tears worse. The blood was spreading now and he had the sinking feeling that they didn't have much more time. He hurtled his lips forward, crashing his against hers in a passionate kiss that built the fire up inside him. His hands grasped the sides of her head desperately, his fingers entangled in her silky hair. She kissed him back, just as eager, just as desperate, and for a long moment they were simply locked in each others embrace.
He pulled back regretfully as he took deep breaths to calm his erratic heart. Lucy lay flushed in his arms, the blush on her cheeks adorable and innocent. A quick glance told him there was too much blood on her stomach, that time was almost up, yet she seemed to suffer no pain. She reached up a hand and gently traced his lips with one slender finger.
"I love you, Natsu." Her eyes were shinning with unshed tears and he pulled her against him, one hand carefully holding the back of her head. She winced slightly before a small frown graced her paling face. "Our time is almost up…"
"No… No, Luce. I can't loose you. I love you, I still love you, I will always love you. I miss you so damn much. Don't leave me… Please, don't leave me." His desperation scared even himself, but Lucy only smiled warmly up at him before she pulled him into a gentle and lingering kiss.
"I know, Natsu. I love you. I am always there with you. Be happy, please try to not be so sad… For Nashi's sake." At the mention of her daughter's name he felt her arms tighten around him. "Let her get to know the Natsu that I know… The passionate, wild, loving, dragon."
He nodded but his words betrayed his fear. "Please, don't leave me."
"I have to." Her grip tightened around him again, the blood was covering everything now, and her eyes swam, the tears finally escaping their confines. "Tell Nashi happy birthday for me, ok?"
He nodded, his voice completely gone as the tears wracked his body.
She smiled sadly. "I miss you Natsu, you have no idea how much I miss you." Her body was starting to fade away now, her comforting weight leaving his arms as the loneliness pressed in once again around him. "Smile, Natsu. I always loved your smile."
Lucy smiled genuinely up at him, it was large, bright, and beautiful… He saw her eyes glaze over in the capture of death's greedy hands and then she was gone, vanished, his arms now painfully empty.
He woke up screaming. He sat hunched over on his bed, hand clutching his heart, as he gasped for air. Lucy, she had felt so real. The voice in his head had been so profound that he desperately wanted to believe that she had somehow, from beyond the grave, spoke to him in his sleep. Tears fell silently over his cheeks as he calmed his erratically beating heart. When he could finally catch his breath he had gone over the mysterious dream at least five times in his head. He collapsed backwards, limbs sprawled across the bed, as he stared up at the blank ceiling.
"Lucy? Are you there?"
Only silence replied.
His hands dug into the sheets and he made a decision. He would choose to believe that the voice he had heard had somehow actually been her, talking to him. It wasn't just a figment of his imagination or a dream created by the desperate longing in his heart. It had been her, somehow, he had no idea how, but it had been her. He clung to that, making it his new reality regardless of what anyone else would say.
He stared up at the ceiling and imagined her loving face. He pictured the first moment that Nashi had been put into her arms. He saw her smile and laugh. He saw her enthusiastically cheering on their little toddler as she took her first steps. He saw his Lucy, in her glory, lighting up the world around her. He smiled and slowly it grew into the one Lucy had been accustomed to, the one that she had brought to the surface.
"I'll smile… For you, Luce, I'd do anything."
~ Author's Note ~
Well, that's the end! I hope you liked it. Check out my other work on Fairy Tail and Inuyasha, I promise it's not nearly as depressing.
Please review!
~ FeudalAi