I don't own ccs...

Chapter 1:

In the spring of our third year in college, I realized I was in love with my best friend. It was a day out of the ordinary when this realization struck me in the head, just a normal spring day. I was waiting for her as usual, she said she had something important to tell me and it was crucial for her to tell me face to face. I waited for almost at least twenty minutes and still no sign of her, as always she's late. What could be so important that she called me at 7 in the morning to meet her at this coffee shop and hell it was a Sunday! I was still dealing with this hangover, but of course I'm about to realize that I love her as more than a friend.

So, there I was barely able to open my eyes waiting…still waiting. That's what my life has become, up to now I'm still waiting. But I'm getting ahead of my self, I still have to tell you how I ended up waiting.

I can still remember everything like it just happened moments ago. I was about to surrender the weight of my head to gravity and just let it fall on the table when suddenly someone called my name.

"Syao-kun!"

Only one person called me that and only this person could have an unexplainable effect on me when she calls out my name. It seems different when the words syao-kun or syaoran comes out of her mouth, they become extra special…not exactly my name, but because it was said by my bestfriend…Sakura Kinomoto. Even by a faint whisper of her name I feel this tingling sensation and it has taken every bit of my manhood to say her name and not piss myself or whatever. Sakura…I smile and get all tingly just thinking about her name. Oh God I feel so pathetic, I feel like a school girl I mean boy having a crush for the first time. Okay back to my flashback.

There she was, my best friend of six years. Our friendship didn't really begin at first sight, we were actually the least of friends at that time but fate brought us together and that's another story.

"Oi Syaoran! Are you okay?"

My eyes focused on the source of the voice and found her staring at me with a bewildered expression.

"Oh hi…I'm just a bit sleepy. You were saying?"

A waitress came to our table and got our orders, I gazed out the window and then suddenly it was a beautiful spring day.

"I said are you okay?" her voice took me away from whatever the hell I was looking at, I can't remember.

"I'm fine, I'm not a morning person…so yeah…I'm okay." I was having trouble talking, I didn't know why. I wanted to tell her why I looked like shi was because I want to sleep and rest but instead I'm there hoping that a double shot espresso would be enough to keep me awake for the moment just because she called me that morning and was so excited to tell me something that's very important that it couldn't wait after lunch.

"You wanted to tell me something?" I finally asked.

Her facial expression suddenly changed and she suddenly transformed into giggly, all excited Sakura mode.

"Do you remember the intern at the hospital when I broke my arm?"

"…"

"You know…the one who kept staring at me while the doctor plastered my arm that he almost squeezed that old man to death while he was taking his blood pressure."

"Oh right…I remember." To tell you the truth, I didn't know what she was talking about at that time I was too busy planning what to do to whoever was responsible for causing Sakura pain. I just wanted her to get on so that I can go back to my dorm and sleep.

"Well…he asked me out and now we're sort of dating."

"What!" That certainly caught my attention.

"I said we're dating. He…I mean, Kaji asked me out."

"You know he's not that bad. But his actually sweet and funny and…"

Sakura'a voice was drowned by this feeling I couldn't understand at that time but after awhile everything settled and then I realized that the reason why I felt that way was because I am in love with my best friend. I actually felt enraged by jealousy and even felt my world crumbling down. So it's true then, that when you have lost something that is the only time you realize how important it is to you. But what I do not understand is that all those years we have been friends, she have had previous relationships but I never felt that jealous. Our relationship is solidly grounded on friendship that has stood against the tests of time but I guess it has yet to face the test of one's love for the other. Yes, I love her but before this it was a love for a friend nothing more nothing less.

What's not to like about her, she's one of the most popular girls in high school not just because of her brain and good looks but of course a great personality. No wonder guys everywhere fall head over heels for her, I was the only one blind enough not to realize that and it took me six years being with her and one spring day to finally do.

I guess this love was already within me all along. It was stuck in my subconscious in an endless sleep; but then this day came along and changed all that.

Three years later on the very same day, I'm here again waiting for her. If you're curious, Sakura and Kaji didn't last long and so did the rest who came after. The worst part of being her best friend is when she get's hurt and even if you try hard not to let that happen it will so, you have to stand seeing her tears roll down her cheeks and have the strength to wipe them away. But the best part is everything else. And yes, in all those years I haven't had the chance to tell her how I feel. I can't seem to put my self in confessing my love. All I've done is wait for the right moment and no I'm not gay or butt-ugly, I've had a history of being a playboy but Sakura's different she's not someone to be played with. I have no idea when I should tell her how I feel; the right time will come eventually.

So here I am again after three years of waiting, I sit here on the same coffee shop, on the same spring day waiting for my best friend. But these time no surprise boyfriends, we're just enjoying our time together and hopefully that perfect moment would come.

They say that true love can wait, I guess what I'm feeling now is true for I have waited and can still wait some more. This time I'm not going to let the moment slip by, I know that someday I have to quit being a chickenshit and go for it. But now I am beginning to melt in my sit for she just walked in and wow! All these years she can still take my breath away.

She looked around the room and settled her gaze on me. A soft look and smile made my day. Sakura made her way to where I was sitting as I watched her dress and movements flow gracefully as she took each step closer to me. It was this moments that made my wait worthwhile, seeing those shine in the gentle sunlight. Her cheeks tainted by soft pink as she sheepishly took the seat in front of me.

"Sorry I'm late." I could only smile at the woman in front of me.

Being with her is in itself a contradictory. Here I am with my best friend who I am madly in love with and yet I find myself to be miles away from her. I wallow in misery and bliss. My loneliness is an incompleteness at the very core of my being and it is her who is oblivious of my feelings who can fill that gaping hole. I can only long for her, because I fear when there is nothing to be afraid of, I find my life to be meaningless when there is much to be accomplished, I get depressed without a specific reason to feel down, insecurity consumes me when I am protected and safe, and I despair without reason for losing hope. I see my life as an absurdity, for I cannot put myself in taking that risk to be with her.

"Its okay, I kinda got used to it." I tried to sound like I didn't cared by my efforts were in vain for I just sounded as happy as she were. Our eyes locked for a moment until I realized what I was doing and I hesitantly looked away. I could feel my ears burn but when I caught a glimpse of Sakura desperately hiding her tainted cheeks I could only smile and look away obviously desperate as well.

I've decided that I can't just wait here and not do anything. I can't always be that shoulder that she can cry on, I want to be that shoulder she gathers her strength from. It is because of Sakura that I believe that amidst the cruelties in this world, genuine goodness and beauty still exist and I want her to know that.

"Um…Tomoyo called and she asked if we can go to the beach for the summer."

"What do you mean by we?" I asked. She looked at me in confusion.

"Us."

"What do you mean by us?"

"You know…you and me." She pointed out the obvious. I was getting tired of avoiding topics such as this. I'm surprised by my audacity and I'm sure I'm pretty close to blurting out my feelings if I lose control, its now or wait again for the next time.

"Together?" I tried to suggest or at least lead us to the right track without sounding too obvious.

"Of course you and me together…us." She said in one breath.

My eyes grew a little bigger and my heart skipped a beat, I'm beginning to find it difficult to act calm and cool. What she just said kept playing in my head, unsure of what she actually meant. Suddenly my boldness seemed to have left me and I'm back again to square one. I wanted to kick my self if that was ever possible.

"Right of course…"I wasn't quite sure if we meant the same thing about the 'together'.

"What's up with you?"

Good thing the waitress came and saved me from answering the question. I quickly took the menu and pretended to be engrossed with what I should order.

"Miss we have freshly baked cakes their right there." The woman knew Sakura has a sweet tooth, we come here regularly. Sakura nodded and smiled cheerfully at the woman.

"I'll have one mochaccino then and I'll just check out what I want."

"Syaoran what do you want?" I had to think fast, I wasn't really thinking about what to get, some things are more important so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Sakura." Oh shit. How stupid can I get?

"What?"

"Huh?" I tried to sound as innocent as possible.

Her facial expression was unreadable, she only remained silent and waited for me to talk.

I paused, until I added. "Aren't you on a diet? Should you be eating cake?"

She looked at me in disbelief. "What do you mean by being on a diet?"

"I don't need to lose weight." She was right about that, honestly speaking I sometimes catch myself staring at her…ahh…curves. I'm a guy after all.

"Yeah right." Of course I was only kidding, I just love the way she looks when I tease her.

Her facial expression instantly changed.

She pretended to gasp in disbelief and threw a piece of crumpled tissue at me.

I smiled while she stuck out her tongue like a 5 year old on a tantrum but still flashed her charming smile in the end.

"I'll have what she's getting."

"Thanks." I told the waitress as I handed back the menu.

I took in a big breath while I put my hands behind my head and sunk in my chair. I noticed Sakura looking at me with a content smile. Sure I felt happy and contented too, but at the back of my mind I know I will never be satisfied with just being friends. But when I think about it, I can't afford to lose this. I was afraid to risk our friendship just for my selfishness. Yes, love is selfish. What would happen if she didn't feel the same way? Wouldn't my leap of faith destroy what we have now, but then again there is still the possibility of achieving something more.

I sighed as I scanned the area to find something to concentrate on; I wasn't really in the mood to think about those sorts of things. For now I just wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee with Sakura, which finally came. I just love the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. I took a sip and found it perfect, everything is perfect. In that moment while we both enjoyed our cups of coffee, we remained silent while enjoying each other's presence. It is in this moments of silence when one can listen to what your heart is saying, It is easier to listen to what you are feeling when your quiet. We remained contented in our silence until she remembered her cake.

"Be right back. Do you want anything?" she asked before she left for the frig.

I watched her every once in a while or more often than that. I sighed and took another sip of my coffee. I never really wondered why I loved her. She's a wonderful person who deserves every bit of love in the world, I didn't find it difficult to love her, I doubt that anyone will. Sakura's a preschool teacher and it suits her very well.

The coffee shop was now dappled with sunlight. I scanned the room and my eyes landed on Sakura. She was about to open the frig door when someone beside her bent down to pick up something on the floor. Thud. I tried to hold back my laughter, things like these usually happen to Sakura. I tried to observe them quietly as I could but after seeing something different about them I could hardly laugh. I suddenly felt threatened when I saw them stare at each other a little too long for my comfort. Something's going on. I watched the stranger intently and his face seemed to light up in realization and so did Sakura. What the hell is going on? They were suddenly engaged in a lively conversation then Sakura pointed at me then continued talking. But what I couldn't understand was why was she blushing and smiling like that?

I was surprised when both of them came to our table. The guy didn't look familiar, and I knew or at least is acquainted with Sakura's other friends. By now I was dying with curiosity, I anticipated every step they took. The suspense was unbearable but even more is this feeling. Why am I worried? Why do I feel threatened by a person I've never met before? Who is he anyway?

They stopped right in front of me and I looked at them like I wasn't surprised at all.

"Syaoran I want you to meet an old friend."

Something registered in my mind, we share our secrets and we know almost everything that is to known about each other. Then it came to me, could this be the guy Sakura was talking about? Her childhood friend and also known as her first love or at least that was what she knew she felt before.

I stood up as I was being introduced.

"This is Miko." "Miko meet Syaoran; Syaoran meet Miko."

"He's the one I've been telling you so much about." She continued.

"Oh right…nice to meet you." I tried very hard to force a smile while I shook his hand. So my suspicions are right, this is my rival to Sakura's affections.

"Nice to meet you too." We all sat down and the moment I felt my skin touch the cold metal I knew things are going to change.

By his looks I can tell why until now Sakura still hoped for her childhood love. He wasn't like the rest, finally I have found a worthy opponent. Its better to assess who I have to come up against before charging into battle.

"What brings you back here?" Sakura asked, obviously not me.

"Business. I plan to settle here if all works well."

"Really?" I can tell that Sakura was really excited about this.

"Hopefully the company where I work in will let me stay here for good."

Later on I learned that Miko was some computer engineer, his company was expanding and found our quiet little town to be a good target.

Slowly I blended in the background, I decided to just sit and keep quiet while they catch up on things; besides I had no interest in what they were talking about. I sipped my coffee even when it was empty, I just needed to do something. I wanted to leave but I'm sure Sakura wouldn't let me.

I stared particularly at nothing, their conversation was barely audible. The afternoon sun was slowly setting and it let out a deep orange glow. Everything around me was soaked in the light's orangeness. It was beautiful, it was one of those afternoons when you just sit back and relax and enjoy the rest of the day. It could have been perfect if it wasn't for an unexpected visitor.

When I was about to think of a good excuse to leave the guy suddenly stood up and was bidding us goodbye. "Hey it was nice meeting you." He said as he shook my hand again. It took me a great amount of self control no to crush his hand.

"Yeah, same here." I said absently retrieving my hand. Really, meeting him wasn't nice at all. I frowned when I saw them hug and he even had the nerve to give Sakura a quick peck in the cheek. Who does he think he is? I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest.

I let my mind wonder as we headed to Sakura's car. She drove a gray vintage mini cooper. Real cute but once you see her drive you better get out of the way. I smiled at the thought of Sakura's reckless driving.

"What's up?" she suddenly asked me. I stopped walking, looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about you." I said slowly. I wasn't quite sure how she would react. She smiled and put her hands behind her back.

"Really?" "What were you thinking about me?" She asked cutely while cocking her head to the side.

"Hmmm?"

The sunlight was being filtered by her hair as it was being blown by the wind. She casually tucked a strand that gone floating with the wind. Her rosy complexion glowed in the afternoon sun. My palms became sweaty as we stared at each other. Just tell her.

"Sakura." My voice was close to a whisper. I Love You. I've been dying to tell you for the past three years but it seems I don't have enough strength. Only I can love you this much and more, so forget about that Miko guy. He's not even worth your time or tears. Sakura when I look at you I see everything that it beautiful in this world. And every waking day I want to be near you, to kiss those lips, to hold you in my arms. Sakura I need you so much because I love you.

"Hmmm?" She took a step closer.

"I"

"Yes?" I wanted to kiss her right there. Everything seems to be falling into place.

"I…"

"I was just thinking about your crazy and reckless driving." I said flatly. I kept my expression firm as she took a step back. I swear she looked disappointed. Oh you are such an ass Syaoran!

"Oh…I thought it was something else." She said as she looked down at her feet.

I eyed her suspiciously, then she looked up and her expression was back to normal.

thanks for reading and if you have any comments or stuff feel free to review. this is my first shot at making fanfictions so, I have no idea what I'm doing.

-nichiru-