Not Exactly Casanova

by PsychicDreams

Six months after Miranda and things have finally begun to settle down. Things are going fine in Simon's life, he's content for the most part, and then Mal shakes it up by having Jayne teach him a new card game.

1. Not Exactly Casanova

(Wow, I can barely believe I wrote this, what, four years ago now? I didn't realize I hadn't posted it here. Just wrote it. I don't think I ever FINISHED it, per se, but maybe I'll get back to it...if I can figure out what I want to do with it. Also, they're all technically one shots, yet follow after each other since I just WROTE it like mad, so I'll be posting the other stories here as chapters because of that.)

-0-0-0-0-

"Would you stop fidgeting?" Simon told Jayne for the third time as he attempted to sew up a knife wound on the mercenary's arm. As usual, despite his irritation, his voice was calm, almost serene, and not a twitch of his slightly intense expression changed. Being a trauma surgeon and seeing plenty of emergencies, he had perfected the art of remaining calm in the medical bay.

"Could you hurry it up already?" Jayne spat back, not enjoying being cooped up alone with the doctor. The silence was starting to get to him.

"It will be done when it's done," Simon retorted, taking a moment to roll up the sleeves of his soft and comfortable looking shirt again. While he didn't wear t-shirts like Jayne, he had stopped wearing button-ups and vests constantly when on the ship. His white surgical apron had a little blood on it, but surprisingly not much considering the gash that he was sewing.

There were a few moments of silence. Things had always been strained between Jayne and Simon since the beginning, which he had never quite figured out why. Simon had always figured that perhaps it was because Jayne just didn't trust anyone, but after all this time... Things had gotten a bit easier after Miranda, but it was nowhere near settled.

"Why do you still follow the captain?" he asked unexpectedly, surprising Jayne.

"Because I get paid good."

The answer was shot back at him with Jayne's usual force, but Simon sensed that there was more to it than that. "That's it?"

"What more do you want to know?!"

"Well, surely you could have found others that would pay you more. As I've seen, this is not exactly a rich ship."

Jayne frowned a bit, watching as Simon's eyes remained focused on the stitching. "...I respect him...to some extent."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is that it?"

"That's all you're gonna find out!"

Simon sighed a bit and proceeded to tie and cut the strips of stitching. "Be careful with that arm for a bit," he told Jayne, knowing that likely his advice wouldn't be followed. Stretching his arms a little, Simon turned and started putting his medical equipment away.

Jayne got up from the reclining chair and immediately headed for the door, pausing at the last minute. "Why do you?"

"Why do I what?"

"Why are you still here?"

"Besides still being wanted criminals and others just waiting to sell us out for the reward money?" Jayne shifted a bit in shame, remembering his own attempt to do so and the fact that they had nearly died trying to get out. "Like you, I respect the captain. This place has become...something of a home to River and I. I'm not that keen to leave it."

"Che..." was the only answer Jayne gave back, as if he wasn't sure what else to say, and stalked off.

"How'd it go?"

Simon looked up at Kaylee, the ship's mechanic and his current girlfriend, peering through the doorway at him with that ever-present sweet smile. "He'll be fine," Simon answered, smiling back a little. He knew that Kaylee liked him, but he wasn't sure why. No one had ever claimed that Simon was good with talking to women; in fact, he was impressively bad at it. That was why he had rarely dated anyone. He liked Kaylee, he did, but he didn't think it was love. He failed to really feel passionate about her, like Zoe and Wash had about each other. They had always been getting into arguments and making up and really and truly making their marriage work, to his way of thinking. He had heard that Zoe had even wanted to have a child with Wash. That was love, and Simon knew it. Part of him wondered how Zoe was handling Wash's death six months ago, but likely the only person that really knew was Mal and even he didn't seem to know a lot. Or if he did, he wasn't letting on.

Kaylee came up behind him and hugged him, so he leaned back into her arms. "Well that's good. Maybe you two should actually talk sometime, so you can get along better."

Yeah right, he thought.

~!~!~!~!~

Simon entered the galley and blinked as he saw Mal, Jayne, and Zoe staring fixedly at their cards and then at each other. It didn't look like any game he was familiar with and by the way they were playing it, he would have thought that someone's very life was at stake. Curiously he wandered closer and peered over Zoe's shoulder at her cards, as she was the nearest one to him. "What are you playing?"

Mal looked up at him. "An old card game Zoe and I learned during the war."

"Who's winning?"

Both Mal and Zoe pointed at Jayne silently, who grinned in a wolfish manner. While gruff and definitely crass, Jayne had a certain charm when he smiled. Simon mentally blinked as he realized he thought that and shook his head at himself.

"They thought they was so good, so I just had to kick their asses."

Mal growled at his cards and set them down, clearly bowing out the round. "He's apparently forgotten more about this game than we ever knew. I think it would take three people ganging up against him to win."

"No one else plays it here besides you three?"

"No one else knows it or seems interested in learning it."

"Ah," Simon replied, for lack of anything else to say, and headed into the kitchen to make himself something to drink, trying to ignore the captain's thoughtful eyes on him.

"You've got a decent poker face, Doctor. Jayne should teach you how to play and we'd actually have a decent stab of people."

Jayne's head snapped up so fast that it gave him whiplash. "Huh?!"

Simon turned around, wondering how to bow gracefully out of the idea of being taught anything by Jayne. "I'm sure I wouldn't be any good."

"Yeah, what he said!"

"Nonsense," Mal argued, overriding them. "There's plenty of time to learn and some comfortable places to sit outside the med bay that he could teach you." Given his smile and Zoe's attempt at not laughing, the discussion was over and set, much to their horror.

"Gorram it," Jayne groaned and just to spite the two of them, roundly beat Zoe.

~!~!~!~!~

It was two days later when a deck of cards was shoved in his face. Simon instinctively leaned back and his eyes shifted from the small, dirty squares tied with a rubber band and up at the six foot four person that towered over him. "Get over here," Jayne told him with a swarthy tone and stalked out to claim the sofa for himself. With a sigh, Simon followed, pulling a chair to the other side of the small table nearby so they were facing each other.

Seven cards were dealt his way and though Simon was never considered stupid since he graduated at the top three percent of his class, he had trouble grasping the rules being belt out at him from the other side of the table at lightning speed. Most of the time when he attempted to play a card, that was wrong. He laid down a diamond card and Jayne groaned.

"No, no, you gorram idiot!" His hand reached out and smacked Simon's before shoving the card he'd put down back into his hand. "You can't play that yet!"

Simon hadn't failed to notice that Jayne was a very tactile person. He liked to touch everything and it seemed to be a compulsion that he couldn't stop. Even Simon, as much as Jayne seemed to dislike him, could not escape the physical touching and exploration, even though it was kept to a minimum.

Seeing that he couldn't play that card, he attempted to play another. This was apparently not right either.

"No!" Jayne set his cards face down on the table and came over behind Simon, leaning down over the sitting man so that Simon could almost feel the breath on his ear. A rough hand grabbed his wrist, forcing him to reveal the faces of the cards he had. "...Well, shit, you got a bad hand. There isn't anything you can do, which means you lose the round. Now if this here was a different color, then yeah, you'd actually be doing pretty good."

"Why a different color?"

"Because black trumps everything. You'll notice there are three different colors: red, black, and white. White is the weakest color and black is the strongest. It's pretty much a last ditch attempt at settling a tie. If the numbers come up the same, you look at the color of the last card played at the end of the round and whoever's color trumps highest wins."

"It seems very confusing."

"S'not, really. You just have to be smart enough to remember the rules. After that, it's just strategy. Set your cards on the table, I'll reshuffle and we'll try again."

As Jayne sat back down with a huff and gathered all the cards together to shuffle, Simon studied him. Jayne, despite evidence to the contrary, wasn't an idiot. "How is your family doing?" he asked abruptly.

Jayne looked up in surprise at the question, but didn't hesitate in answering. His family appeared to be one of his favorite subjects, considering that he was willing to talk to Simon about it. "They're doing good. Mattie finally beat that cold of hers and one of my sisters is s'posed to be gettin' married next year."

"Do you like the man she's marrying?"

"He's ain't too bad. He's got balls to go up against me. We had a fight when I first met him 'cause I didn't think he was good enough for her. Everybody including him knew that I would win, he was a skinny twig, but he was willing to fight it out until the end anyway. 'Course when it was done, my sister kicked my ass for it, but hey, if it makes her happy, great."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Three."

Jayne's eyes flickered up at him, wary, as if he couldn't figure out why Simon was asking. Simon himself only asked merely for conversation, because sitting in silence was very uncomfortable due to the fact that neither of them really wanted to be there and he wasn't entirely sure if Mal wasn't skulking about and watching them. "What about your parents?"

"Dad died when I was seven, so we pretty much scraped by on what we could. My youngest sis was four when he died. I've even got me some nephews!" Jayne grinned widely and pulled out his wallet. A much loved picture was extracted from its clutches and Simon gingerly took hold of it. "Those are my eldest sis' kids." Two young boys were smiling and waving at the camera and behind that, an older woman that while not truly out-and-out pretty, had an appeal to her open face. "They should be about seven an' eight right now."

Simon handed the picture back. "And which sister is getting married next year?"

"Second eldest. The youngest one ain't int'rested right now. Mom says she's all about the ass-whuppin'."

"Is that why you became a mercenary?"

Jayne stared at the picture with a soft expression on his face that Simon had never seen, hadn't even been sure that Jayne was capable of making, and slid it back into his wallet. The wallet disappeared into his back pocket. "Yeah. Needed the money so as soon as I could, I got a job that paid the most and that was it. There ain't a lot of high-payin' jobs back home, so I travel around and send money back when I get paid."

The cards were dealt again and Simon suffered through another repeat of the rules. This time, though, he really did attempt to pay attention and not let his mind wander.

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What was your family like?"

Simon didn't answer for a long moment. He was still very bitter about his parents and had lost all respect for them. "My childhood was...all right. I spent a lot of time with River growing up and I suppose we had pretty much what we wanted. Things didn't start turning bad until after River..." He paused and took a deep breath, staring at his cards but not really seeing them. "They were proud of me for what I had done in the MedAcad and the hospital, but they started treating me like I was crazy when I tried explaining to them about River's letters and what they were doing to her at the Academy. They even suggested that I quietly start seeing a psychologist just to settle me down. Of course when I finally had a real chance to get River out, they told me that if I did anything crazy, they would disown me. So...I went to save River and was disowned. To be honest, I suppose I felt that we were loved when we were bringing pride to the family name... In that respect, I envy you."

"Huh?" Jayne, who had apparently started to tune out near the end, looked up in surprise. "Why? Weren't ya fed with golden spoons and the like on that core planet of yers with all the money in the world?"

He gave Jayne the withering look that he had perfected and yet didn't seem to work on the muscle-bound man. "At least it sounds like you grew up with love and attention and life. Thinking back on it now, everything seemed so 'lukewarm' and expected. I'm sure it had its downs, like your father dying, but it still sounds like you were actually living, rather than existing."

"Uh...yeah...whatever."

There was an awkward silence left after that.

~!~!~!~!~

Almost every day for the next two weeks, Jayne continued to come to the medical bay to teach Simon how to play. It wasn't as bad as he feared it would be. Only once or twice did they get into a bad argument and Jayne would storm away. So long as they stuck to 'safer' topics, they were fine, and Simon learned quite a lot about Jayne. He named his guns, for one, and had some...interesting, if crass, stories about his years before joining the crew of the Serenity. The ones that he liked hearing the most about were Jayne's family and the man seemed happy to tell them to someone who appeared interested.

Inara found Simon standing on the catwalk in the cargo bay, watching idly as Jayne did some weight-lifting below him. "I hear that things are going well between you two."

Simon looked up. "Going well?" he asked in curiosity.

"You're talking a lot with him. It's almost sounding like you know the most of him of anyone on the crew. Jayne...has difficulty opening up to people. In fact, I don't think he has to anyone on the ship."

"Why not?"

"Perhaps no one asked the right questions."

Simon always felt at sea with Inara. She was a stunning woman with a very keen eye at characters and had surprising insights into human behavior. Her dresses were without compare and everyone could see how Inara and Mal felt about each other. He just couldn't figure out why they refused their feelings and instead allowed this strange limbo to continue. Her insight made it hard to hide things. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing," she said with a soft smile, studying Simon's expression as he glanced down at Jayne when there was a sound of metal against metal. The weights had been set aside for chin-ups. "If you ever need to talk, my shuttle is always open."

Simon watched her go, wondering what it was that she was getting at. He straightened up, intending to go check on River, when a voice from below caught his attention.

"Hey Doc, get down here and spot me, will ya?" Simon nodded and headed down into the cargo bay as Jayne waited for him as a spotter for bench-pressing. "Let's hope you have some muscle on you."

"I have more than you would guess," Simon told him with a smile and helped pull the bar up, wondering why Jayne had asked him of all people. Maybe because he happened to be the only one there? Man, those weights were heavy and he could tell that Jayne was straining just a bit beneath them, but that was probably the point: have just enough that it's a bit difficult so something is gained by doing it.

There wasn't much to do, being a spotter. He didn't really want to take his attention away from Jayne in case he needed help, but conversation really wasn't wise in this situation, was it? So instead, he studied the man below him and listened to his soft grunts. The first thing he noticed was the fact that Jayne was very well-built. He took care of his body and it took a lot of punishment. Even through his shirt, Simon could see the well-defined muscles and abs. His hands were rough with calluses and the like from the physical labor, unlike his own. His skin was also dark from his time in the sun. Simon's eyes shifted to Jayne's face. Not exactly handsome in the strictest definitions, but there was some appeal to him, particularly when he wasn't talking.

Noting that it appeared as if Jayne was going to need a break soon, he reached out to grab the bar and help guide it back to its cradle above Jayne's head. He didn't know how Jayne did it!

The man in question panted heavily as he slowly sat up and Simon handed him a towel for his sweat. "Is that your usual level?"

"It's a little tougher today because the last weighting was gettin' too easy. You should try it sometime," Jayne told him and laughed, hitting Simon's stomach lightly. "You might actually grow a bit of muscle!"

"I have enough to suit me," Simon told him with a small smile.

For some reason, Jayne seemed to find that very funny and laughed loudly.

The intercom flared to life and Zoe's voice echoed in the cargo bay. "Jayne and Simon, meet in the kitchen. We have a job."

Jayne got up immediately and headed out, Simon following a moment's hesitation. Why did they need him? He had only ever helped with one job and that had been a reluctant help at that. He wasn't a good actor and didn't know much about crime. Well...there had been that one time with Ariel where he had engineered an entire heist, true, but that one had ended up being screwed up by Jayne's greed and almost being caught by the Alliance.

Everyone was already there by the time he got there, except Inara. She had apparently flown her shuttle to do work of her own when they had reached planet side. Mal nodded at him and leaned his hands on the back of a chair that River sat in. "Okay, here's the deal. We have some cargo we need to pick up here, but it happens to be in the basement of a small clinic. This, however, is a 'respectable' clinic, which means that we can't just walk in and get it. Patients aren't allowed down that far."

He was getting a bad feeling about this.

"So how do we get in?" Jayne asked.

Mal's eyes turned to Simon. "The good doctor will. One of us will pose as being sick and his friends bring him there, while at the same time, Simon will be applying for a position at the clinic. They're always in need of doctors. Get yourself a tour of the building and get down to the basement. There's a small box down there in a crate. Grab it, it should fit in your pocket, I'm told. Then all you have to do is waltz out while we have a distraction."

"Do we know what's in the box?"

Mal looked at Zoe. "I honestly didn't ask."

"Sounds simple enough," Kaylee said with a smile and looked excited.

Simon himself was feeling a little nauseous at the thought. "What happens if I can't get out?"

"Well there is that, of course. It's on a fairly hostile planet, what with a grassroots rebellion going on, so I'll act as your bodyguard."

"Is that wise, sir?" Zoe asked. "If they run the ship's tags, they'll see your face as the owner of Serenity."

"There's still that danger of recognizing the doctor."

"That's true, sir, but this is something of an out of the way planet. They might not have any reason to run what he looks like, but it would be a lot easier to run the ship's I.D. It would be better to have you with those that are going to have the diversion. You playing as a bodyguard would only raise more questions."

Mal crossed his arms. "That would mean leaving it to either you or Jayne..." His eyes shifted between his second-in-command and Jayne several times. "Jayne, you go with the doctor."

"Wait, why me?!" Jayne demanded.

"Because you have no acting talent," Mal told him bluntly. "The diversion is going to take some improv and you're not good at that. Besides, if Simon does need help in getting out of there, you can probably find one than him alone. There, everything settled? We start tomorrow!" With a boyish grin, he turned and headed toward the cockpit, leaving no time for Simon to object.

Simon headed back to his room with a pale face. He didn't know if he could do this. Sure he was a doctor and a surgeon, but he'd never been accused of having a lot of acting talent and Jayne had even less than him. In terms of speaking, Jayne had no ability to think on feet and smooth the way. He had no charisma to be found in that regard. Sure, a firefight he was good at that, but he was terrible at lying.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Kaylee murmured, coming into his room and sitting next to him. "You'll do fine and Jayne will be there to help you." She kissed him softly, one he barely responded to in his nerves.

Simon didn't sleep well that for all that Kaylee enticed him into bed. He felt sleep-deprived the next morning and stressed. Per Mal's orders, he dressed in his 'finery'. Jayne... Jayne had argued about 'looking his best', which didn't look very different from his usual cargo pants and t-shirt, but they at least attempted to help him look the part. His mood lifted a little when they told him he could carry a few guns.

Simon and Jayne left the ship first. Thankfully, the port was near the town and the clinic, with the rebellion in the rural areas, but that didn't mean it couldn't move forward...

The doors automatically slid open for them and a nurse lifted her head. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm here looking for a position on the staff." Her critical eyes swept to Jayne and he felt his heart triple its beat in nerves. "This is my bodyguard. I heard that it wasn't safe as of late going through some of the areas here, so I thought it might be best to be cautious."

"Don't I know it. That rabble, always putting bullet holes in people. I wish they'd stop killing our doctors in their little fight!" the woman replied with a sigh and led him to the manager's office. "He's here about one of the open positions."

"Well well." The man, seeming to have an air of 'pompous' even though Simon didn't think he had the experience to warrant it on this planet, leaned back in his chair. "Do you have any prior history?"

Simon didn't want to use his prestigious background in case it alerted anyone, so he fudged it a little as to where he was from and not quite as impressive in his grades, but still high enough that they'd die to have him on their staff in a place like this. It was only as he was talking and Jayne was fidgeting behind him, that he began wondering if maybe he was making it too ostentatious. After all, if he was that good, what was he doing out on a planet this far from the Core? The eyes that were studying made him shift in his chair and really, everything hinged on him, and he was fine with that in the med bay, but not out here.

"Well it sounds fine, Mr. Landover. You'll understand that I have to run a background check first, though, right? You can't be too careful with all these foolhardy people and their idiotic rebellions. If everything checks out, which I expect it will, I will give you a call and we can start filling out the paperwork."

Gorram it! Simon tried not to sweat in nerves. "Of course. Do you mind giving me a tour of the building before I leave?" Seeing his silent question of 'why', he frantically cast about for any excuse. "I would like to get a feel for the place before I leave, that's all."

"Well it's fairly small so I'm sure you'll find everything, but all right. I don't see why not."

The manager was right when he said it was small and it didn't take very long before the tour was completed. "If you don't mind, I'd like to visit the restroom," Simon said when the manager started to get a bit twitchy after the tour was completed, clearly feeling as if his time was being wasted when he could be harassing his doctors and feeling important. Simon had seen those types before.

"Ah, right then. You know where it is. Now if you'll excuse me."

Simon nodded and waited until the man was out of sight before he and Jayne hurried to the basement door they had passed by briefly. It was locked, much to his chagrin.

"Out of the way." It was the first time that Jayne had said anything since they entered and Simon had actually forgotten that he was there.

He tried to cover for Jayne as he fiddled with the lock.

"Gotta say, Doc, that was some slick acting."

Huh? "What?"

"You lookin' so calm and all. Could barely tell you were lyin' yer ass off."

He hissed for Jayne to keep his voice down. Really? He had? Amazing because inwardly, he'd been all kinds of nervous and sure that he was giving everything away. "...Thank you," he said, not sure what else to say to that.

Jayne grunted and finally managed to jimmy the lock. This didn't have the state of the art locks on the major core planets, thankfully. Just as the door opened, Simon could hear the captain's voice in the distance as he, Zoe, and Kaylee burst in to provide a distraction. A little later than they needed it, but nobody had quite anticipated how small the clinic would be.

"Hurry, find it!"

With Jayne's words ringing in his ears, Simon hunted for the small box that had been described to him that morning. There were many crates down there, mostly empty ones, and he had to turn over at least three before he found what he was looking for. It was just as he had reached the top of the stairs again that an explosion rocked the building. "What's going on?!"

Someone ran past shouting something about the rebellion and the armed guards that had been in almost every corner of the small clinic swarmed toward any door and window they could find to start shooting those approaching from outside. The small intercom in his ear flared to life and he winced at the volume of his captain's voice. "If you've got what we need, get out now! We don't want to get in the middle of this."

Simon wanted to ask how they were going to leave, but the sounds of the nearby gunshots drowned him out.

Jayne grabbed his arm without warning and began tugging him toward the back of the clinic, shouting something about a back door he'd spotted. This turned out to be an extraordinarily bad idea because there was heavy fighting between the guards and some not-exactly-well-dressed civilians with guns in their hands. Simon shouted a bit when someone grabbed him from behind, startling the fighters and Jayne alike. The barrel of a gun was pressed to his head, the metal cool, and he felt heavy, panicked breathing in his ear. "Let them in or he dies!"

The guards moved aside reluctantly and Jayne took advantage of the moment to clobber the person holding him. It seemed a very stupid move to Simon, what would have happened if the gun had gone off? He turned around to see, catching a glimpse of...the nurse he'd spoken to that had shown such disdain for the rebellion?

"Run!"

Simon was yanked through the stunned mob at the door and a few seconds later, shots started ringing out again. Jayne slammed into him and a shot meant for Simon landed squarely in his shoulder and another in his leg. "Keep moving!"

They hobbled away as fast as they could, Simon supporting a lot of Jayne's weight despite the fact that the man told him that he was fine and he didn't have to. They were the last ones on the ship. Zoe had stationed herself by the controls to the cargo door and as soon as they were inside, she hit the close button. "They're on, go!" she snapped into the intercom nearby, and he could feel Serenity rumble to life and take off.

Zoe moved to help Simon bring Jayne to the med bay. Mal joined them, demanding to know what happened. Simon just shoved the precious box that he had somehow managed to hold onto into his hands before pulling on his white surgical apron and getting to work. Rather than make Jayne lift his arms and contort to get off his shirt, he merely cut the sleeve off to get at the bullet wound. He worked as best he could while giving the briefest rundowns of what happened before throwing the two out until he was alone with Jayne.

"That was a very stupid move," Simon berated him, giving him a hefty shot of painkillers before attempting to remove the bullet.

"Gorram it, shut it," Jayne snapped through gritted teeth. "That's my job."

Simon expertly pulled the bullet from the shoulder and bandaged it up, moving to the other side to cut some of Jayne's pants so he wouldn't have to take them off. It was just faster that way. "So your job was take two bullets for me?" he snapped.

"Yeah it was," Jayne argued.

This one was a bit tougher to get out, but Simon succeeded and bandaged that up. He leaned over Jayne, their eyes meeting for the first time in a long while. "Don't do that again. I don't like people getting hurt for me."

"I'll get hurt for you if I damn well please," Jayne growled back, apparently unaware of how that sounded.

"You're an idiot!" he settled on, feeling a little awkward after hearing that. "Stay put and rest."

Simon's eyes widened briefly as Jayne's good hand grabbed his collar, keeping him there. "No one tells me what to do, least of all you." With that, he was shoved away and probably by sheer will did Jayne get to his feet and hobble out of the infirmary to his bunk. By the time he got to his room and down the stairs, he collapsed with pain onto his bed.

After a minute, Simon started to slowly clean up after everything and wash his instruments. He had...planned to bring up the incident with the gun to his forehead, but he'd probably be told that he was stupid and the safety had been on the whole time or something like that. He knew where Jayne had likely gone and he knew that he'd be in pain. Stupid man! He shouldn't have been so damn...noble! It was not a term that he would have ever considered applying to Jayne, of all people, but he didn't know what else to call it. With a sigh, Simon grabbed a small needle and filled it with a bit of morphine. Slowly he made his way to Jayne's quarter and hesitated before he made his way down the stairs. His eyes couldn't help taking in the guns on every wall and the very...well...manliness of the room itself. It wasn't all that clean, but it wasn't really dirty or cluttered either. Knives were just as plentiful as guns.

"What do you want?"

Simon turned his gaze to meet Jayne's and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "Since you're such an idiot, you're probably in a lot of pain after that." He pulled Jayne's uninjured arm into his lap and gently injected the morphine. After a minute or two, the pain on Jayne's face began to dissipate. The arm wasn't retracted immediately and Simon didn't, surprisingly, feel a need to leave right away.

"Feeling less pain?"

"...Yeah. Gotta admit, you may not be good for anything else, but you're good at what you do."

As backhanded as it was, it was the first compliment that Jayne had ever given Simon and he felt a smile touch his lips. Jayne wasn't looking at him, which meant he was embarrassed. It was a little disconcerting to him how much he had learned and picked up about Jayne in the last month or so. "Well, for what it's worth, you're good at what you do."

"Damn straight!"

Simon laughed a bit at the confidence. Jayne's hand curled at the wrist a little and lightly touched, more like held, Simon's arm. "You hurt?"

"No. Thank you for that."

Simon thought he could drown in that gaze when it was turned on him. Jayne wasn't as tough as he thought he was. There was the faintest hints of vulnerability that he saw and for all of his strength, Jayne's need to touch never hurt. In fact, it didn't really bother him at all.

"...Good." There was a pause. "You look tired."

"I guess I am. I'm not used to what happened today. Or at least, not being in the center of it. Kind of wipes you out. And you're not particularly light."

"You shoulda listened then and not tried to support me. I was fine."

"You weren't, and you know it," Simon answered, leaning a little more against Jayne's hip, the action that was only urged further by the shifting of Jayne's arm and hand pressing against his own.

No matter how he thought about it, Simon couldn't recall later how he ended up sleeping against Jayne's good shoulder. That strong arm was around his shoulders, holding him close. Simon shifted when his eyes opened and that was enough to wake Jayne. He blearily blinked, wondering time it was. His internal clock said it was time to sleep, which likely meant it was 'night'. He rubbed his face a bit and looked down at Jayne, whose expression was serious as he stared at him.

No words were said, which probably contributed to the fact that there was an almost catastrophic moment where their lips were close to meeting. All Simon knew was that he had been briefly lost in those eyes and felt breath near his mouth. If it hadn't been for the fact that Jayne's hand had splayed itself out on the small of his back, pushing him a little closer, it likely would have happened. With a jerk, Simon sat up. "Sorry about falling asleep here. I'll...check on you later to see if you're still in pain."

He hurried from Jayne's bunk, leaving the man confused and appearing half-asleep, which Simon chalked up their near kiss to.

~!~!~!~!~

Jayne attempted to be nonchalant as he headed for Inara's shuttle, taking the most roundabout way there so if anyone caught him, they wouldn't know where he was heading. No one was watching him, so... After another glance around he quickly entered and closed the door behind him. The beautiful companion turned around in surprise. "Jayne?"

"...I think I need ta find a woman."

"What?"

"That really has to be it. I need ta find a willin' woman and sleep with her."

Inara blinked and left the terminal she was using to sit on her sofa. After a minute she pursed her lips, wondering if this was a joke. "I don't service crew."

"I ain't askin' ya to!"

Seeing the defensiveness, Inara motioned and said, "Please sit then. Did you need help?"

Jayne awkwardly sat down next to her. "Um...well...things got...weird about a week ago."

"Weird how?"

"Well the Doc looks kinda girly, don't he?"

"Simon? Not particularly," Inara answered, puzzled.

Jayne didn't seem to be listening. "I mean, a week ago... It was also 'cause I was doped with painkillers," he added, avoiding actually saying it.

"Jayne, what happened?"

"It's just 'cause we were tired and he's girly and I had painkillers," Jayne repeated and nodded to himself. "Last week...after we got back and the bullets were taken out and everythin', Simon came to my bunk to give me some painkillers. We...talked. We fell asleep. When we woke up, we almost...almost..."

"Almost what?"

"...Kissed."

Her eyes widened a bit and Jayne hurriedly said, "It's just because he's girly, we were tired, and I had painkillers and ain't had a trim in awhile, right? I just need ta find a woman...right?"

Inara shook her head. This she hadn't really expected. If Simon was even feeling an inkling of the same way, poor Kaylee! "Jayne, I hate to break this to you, but Simon isn't effeminate."

"E...ffe...?"

"Girly," she clarified. "Jayne, tell me...what do you think about when you think of Simon? How do you feel?"

"He's pretty useless, 'cept at doctoring people up. Can't use a gun, but...I s'pose he's actually pretty brave. I can kick his gorram pigu any time I damn well please and the idiot would bravely attempt to take it or even stupidly fight back. He's ain't...well he's ain't a coward. He's definitely pompous...but he's gettin' better when he don't wear those stupid vests and stuff. He learns fast too and ain't too bad a card player. He looks better when he smiles and stuff..."

She smiled a little at him. "Jayne...I think you've fallen for him."

"Fallen?"

"In love."

Jayne recoiled as if she had turned into a Reaver. "Hell no!" he spat, standing up and pacing. "I ain't sly, gorram it!"

"It has nothing to do with being sly or not. Feelings are feelings. You said it yourself, you almost kissed and listen to how you just described him. Did you like it when you both fell asleep together?"

Jayne shook his head frantically, trying to dislodge the thought that he had. He had felt that body pressed against his side and kind of liked it. Simon had grown some muscles in the time that he'd been with them. "It can't be! It gorram can't be!" he spat, stalking out.

Two days later, he was back. Inara just smiled at him and welcomed him to sit down next to her. She didn't service crew, but she did give them advice. "I...I think I...I think I just jacked off to him..." Not exactly the best way to put it, but Inara couldn't expect a lot of refinement out of someone like Jayne.

"It's okay..."

"No it ain't!" There was a long, long pause while Inara waited as he fiddled with whatever came to hand. "...What do I do?"

This was going to take a bit...

~!~!~!~!~

Ever since the time in in his room, things had been somewhat awkward with Simon and Jayne. He checked up on him, but he was always aware of how close he should be and shouldn't be. A week after that, he had noticed the odd looks Jayne kept giving him when he thought no one was paying attention. Had he somehow made Jayne angry? No one else seemed to notice and he really attempted to have things go back to normal.

He realized too late when spending the night with Kaylee, that Jayne flashed before his mind as he climaxed. Thankfully he hadn't said anything, had bite his lip to remain silent, but it was enough to freak him a little. Unfortunately, Serenity wasn't a large ship, which meant that the chances of running into Jayne were pretty accurate. They continued to play cards together outside the med bay, something that had become habit more than anything else, but there was definitely something awkward between them. The conversations between them were unusually 'safe' topics, if they talked at all. River was surprisingly gleeful as of late and though he was sure that she was getting better, she didn't seem to have as many fits, her remarks had been cryptic enough that he was left scratching his head over their meaning.

Finally, Simon sought out some council.

Inara was hardly surprised to see Simon see her and she had a good idea as to what it was about. Perhaps she should start charging for advice too. Silently she welcomed him in and poured some tea.

He sat awkwardly and wiped his palms on his pants. "May I count on your confidentiality?"

"Of course, Simon."

He hesitated a second more, before continuing. "I believe that...I might...have feelings for Jayne," Simon whispered, wincing a bit. "I don't know for certain, but I keep...thinking about him. And one time...well...I think you can guess what might have happened."

"You had a physical reaction to the thought of him?"

He thought back to that time with Kaylee. "...In a manner of speaking."

Inara just had to ask. "Simon, I always thought you were..."

"Sly?" Simon snorted and resisted the urge to pace. "That's what everybody has said to me. Even Kaylee commented it to me just before we...for the first time. I fail to see why. I have never found another man attractive before!" That was what made this even more difficult. He had seen some good male specimens, but none had ever really made him 'react', enough to really masturbate to, so why did Jayne of all people?

In the tense silence, she asked, "Do you love him?"

Simon took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. "...Maybe. I feel...a strange sort of passion. There's an excitement there, but it's hard to describe. It's lively and yes, we'll probably get into constant arguments, but it gives me strong emotions, which...is rare. Sometimes, dare I say, it's even fun to argue with him. The few times I've felt that strongly has been mostly about River and keeping her safe and loving her. I love my sister very much."

"You gave up everything you had for her, so it's easy to see."

"Jayne riles me up though. He manages to push all my buttons. We...We almost kissed once already. I don't mind it when he touches me. You have noticed that Jayne likes to touch things, right?"

"I have."

"I don't mind it. I kind of like it. It was comfortable lying next to him when I fell asleep and...well...It was both exciting and kind of embarrassing that he got shot for me. I wish he hadn't done it, really. I don't like people getting hurt for me. I'm a doctor, I take away pain so it feels as if I'm giving it if that happens, but at the same time..."

"The idea is nice."

"I suppose so. What...do I do?"

"Talk to him and see what happens. Maybe you can work something out. Only...don't say anything to Kaylee until you are absolutely sure you want this and what will happen between you and Jayne. If you find that you are truly serious about each other after that talk, then you must break the news to her. If this is a fling, though, you must end it. You cannot have both. Both can be...a bit possessive, Jayne moreso than Kaylee."

"I see," Simon whispered. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

~!~!~!~!~

Simon hadn't wanted to get into a discussion like that where they could be overheard, so he waited until everyone was asleep before he silently and on bare feet crept to Jayne's room. With a deep breath, he opened the door and winced when it seemed so loud. He closed it and climbed down without asking, already feeling Jayne's eyes on him before he even turned around. It was a small room, after all.

"What do you want?"

He turned and watched when Jayne eyed him up and down in the loose shirt and pants he wore to bed. It was perhaps the most relaxed his wardrobe ever got. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

Simon risked coming closer and sat hesitantly on the edge of the bed. "I...wanted to talk about...us. I wanted to know...if there was an 'us.'."

Jayne sat up and Simon finally realized that he had no shirt on. For all the fact that in the med bay he saw Jayne shirtless a lot with his wounds, it was somehow different to see it in his bunk without a shirt on. Perhaps it was because the bunk was smaller, or because the room was just so Jayne that he felt surrounded by him. He swallowed thickly. "Is there? Is there an 'us'?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit raspy.

His answer came in the form of a kiss. Jayne's lips latched onto his and a hand came up to cup his face in an oddly gentle motion. Jayne's other hand came around and literally hauled Simon up until the doctor was straddling him. Everything was a mix of roughness and gentleness, just like Jayne himself, and Simon felt his stomach shiver just a little in the feelings.

"I don't share," Jayne said when they broke apart. "Whores, fine, but if it's serious, I don't. share."

Which meant that he would have to break the news to Kaylee and hope it didn't hurt her too badly. "I understand," he whispered, moving to pull off his shirt and kiss Jayne again. He really didn't know what he was doing, but it seemed to be good, since Jayne pulled him closer and pressed their hips together in a rough and enticing motion.

After a minute, hands held his upper arms and pushed him back. Simon's eyes widened a little. He could tell that Jayne was interested, what with their hips pressed together, so why was he stopping them?

"Go," Jayne muttered, voice huskier after their kissing. "'Fore I end up doing somethin' that shouldn't be done."

"What?"

"Come back after you talk with li'l Kaylee. I ain't doin' nothin' 'till then, much as I want to just press your gorram ass to the bed and have you."

It was a surprising thing to hear from Jayne of all people, the 'man-ape-gone-wrong-thing'. It really did appear as if Jayne was doing everything he could to hold himself back, out of respect for someone he thought of as his little sister. Simon slowly stood up next to the bed. To be honest, it rather shamed him just a bit and he nodded. Simon contemplated Jayne as he quietly left the room. He had seen how Jayne treated the whores he spent time with, back at Nandi's, or at least he thought he had inkling. It was hardly something that could even be considered 'romantic' in any sense of the word. Jayne had always said he wouldn't kiss on the mouth, so why had he just now? Was Jayne going to, surprisingly, be a serious lover? Not once in all the time that Simon had been there, had he heard of the mercenary taking anyone on as a permanent partner. 'If it's serious', huh? Did that mean that this was serious, and if it was, then how did Jayne's behavior differ?

"Time to sleep."

Simon nearly shouted, his heart jumping into his throat. He whirled, seeing River there and staring at him without smiling. He hadn't even heard her come up behind him! Hadn't he already put her to bed? What was she doing up? "R-River! You nearly scared me to death!"

"Time to sleep," she repeated, gently pushing at him to move to his room. "Time to tuck you in."

"River, I don't need to be tucked in." Was Kaylee there? He hoped not, he was too tired to get into that sort of conversation.

"Going to tuck you in anyway." She stuck her tongue out at him like his real meimei from years back and he smiled as she proceeded to 'tuck him in', up to and including pushing him onto the bed, tossing his legs on the bed, and covering him with a blanket. She even nudged the blanket with her fingers underneath him until he felt as if he was in one of those sleeping bags. Since she was all but giggling, he assumed she was doing it just to annoy him, but he couldn't help smiling anyway.

"Night meimei."

"Night, gege."

~!~!~!~!~

"You said...you said you weren't sly!"

Simon stared shamefully at the floor of the engine room to avoid looking at Kaylee's hurt eyes. Realizing that this was rude, particularly after their time together, he forced his eyes to meet hers. He supposed he should have realized something was wrong when they'd never done it more than three, perhaps four times. "I don't think I am, not strictly. I have had...one or two girlfriends in the past besides yourself. I've never been very good with talking to anyone outside of a hospital or medical setting, so... Strictly speaking, I assume that I would be considered bisexual-"

"Don't go strictly speaking me!"

He winced when he realized that he had started to slip in his doctor-somewhat-desensitized tone. "I'm sorry."

Kaylee wrapped her arms around her stomach and there was a distinct wetness coating her eyes. "W-Why Jayne?"

"I don't know. I feel...drawn to him. I don't really know how to explain it." Simon didn't want to say what he was about to, because it would probably hurt her even worse. "There's just something, more of a spark, between him and I than...than there is that kind of spark between us. I still think of you as a wonderful friend, Kaylee, but that's all."

"Ya haven't...with him..."

"No."

There was a long moment of silence and when Simon attempted to touch her shoulder, she stepped back. "Fine. It's over."

"Kaylee..."

"I need time, Simon. Alone."

He slowly stepped away and headed down the hall. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught River taking the position he vacated and wrapping her arms around Kaylee. He winced as he heard the sudden shaky breaths and cries from his former girlfriend. They seemed to follow him into his dreams that night too.

The next morning, it was obvious something had happened between them since Kaylee wouldn't even look at him and breakfast was a fairly silent affair because of it. Simon did his best to keep his eyes on his plate, but they would wander sometimes to Jayne. Jayne, on the other hand, didn't seem at all inclined to make his glances surreptitious and boldly met his eyes when that happened. When breakfast broke up, he wanted to talk to the mercenary, but he held himself back for Kaylee's sake. He didn't want to rub salt in the wounds by immediately jumping at the man not even twenty-four hours after they'd broken up. So instead, he puttered around in the infirmary for most of the day, arranging and rearranging anything that wasn't nailed down. There would still be another four days before they reached Persephone to refuel and pick up supplies.

Things didn't get much better in those four days. Simon wanted and refrained from visiting Jayne's bunk each night. Jayne himself had little to say to him and didn't even come to the infirmary to play cards as he usually did. It was understandable, he told himself. Jayne had made his decision, and it was all up to Simon to go back to him. He missed him even though it was his own fault that he hadn't gone to see him, and the ache grew worse the longer he put it off.

When they landed, Jayne left the ship almost immediately. Simon didn't know if it was imagination or not that he felt the man's intense stare on him just before he stepped out. It came down to whether he wanted to stay on the ship or hope to blend in on Persephone, cross his fingers, and pray there were medical supplies that he'd need.

Simon must have stared at the counter for what felt like hours, but was in reality only twenty minutes, before he decided he would try it. He had just turned around and stepped out the infirmary door when he almost literally ran into Kaylee. He stumbled back just so he didn't knock into her, but she merely followed him, pointing and poking him with a finger until his back was to the wall. Her eyes were tough on him.

"What do you think yer doing?" she demanded.

"I was going to go to Persephone-" he began.

"With Jayne!"

Simon's eyes glanced over her shoulder at River, that had apparently followed the mechanic and back. "W-What do you mean? I explained-"

"You told me four days ago and judging by Jayne, you didn't make a move since!"

"Well I thought, seeing as how- I didn't want to rub it in your face by going there - I mean, I was trying to be thoughtful-"

She interrupted his stuttering again with an angry huff. "So you break up with me and don't go back ta him so we're all sittin' here mis'rable?"

"Well I didn't think-"

"If you don't talk to him soon, then I will come back up here and slap you!"

His eyes widened, but when she smiled at him, wobbly though it was, he smiled back. He could see her good nature, her large heart, shining through that despite her pain. She wanted those she loved to be happy.

"I promise."

In the silence, River's voice echoed, "Boob."

~!~!~!~!~

Jayne hadn't looked at him after he came back, but Simon, once again barefoot, made his way to the mercenary's bunk that night. This time he actually remembered to knock, even though the door was open.

"Yeah?"

"It's...It's Simon."

There was so long a moment of silence that he didn't think he'd be let in. He looked down as Jayne came to stand at the bottom of the stairs. Their eyes met and he gulped when he saw the scowl. After a minute, Jayne muttered. "C'mon then."

Simon climbed down, noting Vera had been in the midst of a good cleaning, seeing the pieces carefully set out. Jayne sat down on the bed and grabbed the barrel, stroking it with a piece of cloth. "What do you want, Doc?"

"I spoke with Kaylee."

"I noticed."

He risked a step closer. "...You said you never kissed them on the mouth."

"I don't. Kissin' is reserved for serious things, implying feelin's and all."

Simon felt his heart beat a little harder at the fact that Jayne seemed so intent on staring at the barrel of the gun, but by the fact that his eyes weren't moving, he wanted to look at him. "Is that what this is then? Something serious?"

"What is it to you?"

By now, Simon was standing right in front of Jayne. "It's serious to me too."

That was apparently all that was needed and the barrel hit the ground. Strong, muscled arms latched around Simon's waist and before he knew it, he was straddling Jayne's lap and they were kissing. Kissing good: long and languid sometimes and powerful and passionate others. Jayne's hand flattened out against his spine, as if to feel every flex that Simon made. Somehow, in between their kissing and fumbling, Simon divested himself of their shirts.

"No idea what it took to push you away that time," Simon heard muttered against his lips as his shirt passed over his head.

"I think I do," he replied, grinding their hips together a little.

"Ya ain't too bad," Jayne murmured after a soft growl, kissing Simon's chest and his hands eagerly feeling all the muscles of the doctor's front and back.

"I like it myself," Simon answered with a smile.

Rough hands moved down to push Simon's pants off. Simon watched as Jayne scooted down until he was laying down, hands urging him to stay put. For a minute, he wasn't sure what was going on until his hardness was pulled into the man's mouth. Not wanting to make too much noise, and not one to do so to start with, Simon bit his lip at the pleasure as he now straddled Jayne's shoulders unexpectedly. Kaylee had done this to him before, naturally, but it had never felt as good as this. Was it because his feelings were different?

It wasn't long before Jayne pulled away and sidled up behind him. Simon glanced over his shoulder, looking down and noting that Jayne was definitely well-endowed. What was downstairs definitely matched his massive height and build. He tried not to blush a little as arms held him tightly from behind.

"Do you know-"

"Yeah."

"How do you know?" There was some awkward shifting behind him. "Jayne?"

"Went to see Inara," was what Simon thought he said, but it came out all in a rush like 'WenttaseeInara', as if by saying it really fast, he could somehow make it less...embarrassing?

"Inara? You went to see her?"

Jayne buried his face in Simon's hair. "Yeah... Had to, to figure how all this gorram works."

"You've never done this with a man before?"

"No," Jayne told him sharply. "Have you?"

"No."

"Hey."

"What?" he asked, the word from Jayne breaking up a silence that had fallen as he was merely held for a long moment.

"You sure about this then? Me bein'...the first guy for you an' all?"

Well wasn't that an odd thing to ask, coming from Jayne. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Fumbling sounded behind him. He was aware of how men had sex, thanks to his days at college, so Jayne could have just asked him, but he decided not to bring that up just then. Slick fingers gently pressed into him and Simon grunted a little. He was distracted from the strange feeling as Jayne's other hand explored everything it could find on his front, including his nipples, but left his groin alone. "Did you...steal that cream...from the infirmary?"

"'Course."

Figured. He could almost feel the smile behind him.

"Touch me," he begged.

"I am," Jayne replied, a surprising teasing tone to him.

"You know where!"

"Nah," Jayne gently mocked. "You'll have to tell me."

Simon, for all the fact that he had no trouble saying the words in regards to medical aspects, couldn't say it in bed and remained silent, whimpering instead when those fingers found his prostate and began to abuse it.

Still, Jayne was never accused of having a lot of patience and before long, Simon was urged onto all fours and he felt his lover press into him gently. Simon had learned quite a bit about Jayne, but this was the first time he saw what he would call a 'sensitive' side. Once he was sure that Simon was fine with it, Jayne started to thrust and thrust hard. It was hard to keep in his noises, but somehow Simon succeeded. Their passion, something neither had recognized until now, flowed over them and lasted through two more times.

Simon leaned back against Jayne, who's fingers were softly and gently stroking the outside of his arm now that they were spent. Small kisses were laid on his neck and Simon shivered at the feeling of that face fuzz of Jayne's. He'd always disliked it before, particularly when they'd first met. His first idea was to just to yank on it whenever he was annoyed. Now...it wasn't so bad. "Feels nice. Somehow...I expected..."

Those fingers slid slowly over his stomach. "Rougher?"

"Well...yes. I assumed, after watching you in the whorehouse..."

"Whores are different, Simon." There was a sigh against the back of his shoulder. "I blame my sisters," Jayne muttered. "Whorin' is fine; they don't expect, you know, special treatment, but you...feel for somebody, ya gotta treat 'em right. Gotta spend time on 'em and make 'em feel good even before you get to the sexin'." There was a longer pause. "'Course you made me wait enough and I got impatient tonight."

A smile stretched his lips, particularly as that gentle hand had slipped noticeably lower than his stomach. "You've got a big sex drive."

"You wouldn't believe it," Jayne replied with a grin. "You think you know it, but you don't. Not yet."

Simon looked over his shoulder. "Oh really?"

Jayne shifted until he was over top of Simon and leaning between his legs. "Don't tempt me or yer gonna find out again."

He smiled up at the man above him and pulled him down to kiss him. Again, those gentle touches and kisses, holding him so tightly that he didn't even notice when Jayne pushed in him again. "I didn't...tempt you!" he muttered, gasping at the very gentle thrusting.

"You always tempt me," Jayne murmured in his ear. "You don't even have to try."

"Kiss me again," he pleaded, holding on tightly to the man he had, strangely, come to love.

His answer was another heart-melting kiss.

End.

Author's notes: Regarding the card game: Um...it's completely made up? I couldn't use the one in the show because I needed it to be something Simon didn't know. ^^;;

Jayne: I've always seen him as growing up in a family of girls and so therefore, as crass as he is, inwardly he's got certain ideas about how one acts with a permanent lover you're serious about. I wish I had the companion books, but I've never read them.

Accent-y dialogue: Jayne and Kaylee and the like is hard to show how they talk in the show, so I did my best. I'm fine with it, but others might find it jarring, I don't know. I suck at that kind of stuff, so...

My first Firefly fic, hope it was good. Oh, and I suck at titles, so I picked that one at random :P