A/N: Rachel is my favorite character so, I'm not sure why I insist on making her miserable. This will be Faberry friendship that may or may not slowly lead up to more in the future. The title is from this quote:
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.~Edna St Vincent Millay
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
After meeting with a long list of drug addicts and perverts, Quinn came to the conclusion that putting an ad in the newspaper may not have been the smartest way to go about finding a roommate. Her patience was beginning to wear thin, and if she had the phone number of the last person she was supposed to meet with, a Mrs. Drake, she would have called her and cancelled.
Quinn didn't even necessarily need a roommate. She could have easily afforded the apartment on her own. However, she just moved to New York City, and she didn't want to be completely alone. But, judging by the way her roommate search had gone thus far, she was beginning to think she would just have to accept the loneliness.
Right after graduating from McKinley High ten years ago, Quinn left to attend Ecole des Beaux-Arts, a prestigious art school in Paris. Before she left, everyone told her she was making a huge mistake; that she'd never be able to make it, and she would end up crawling back to Lima within six months. Quinn wasn't stupid, she knew they were probably right. So, needless to say, she was shocked when her art became a big hit. The paintings she sat out on the sidewalk every weekend began to sell faster and faster, and for much higher prices. Then, she started receiving special requests, and soon thereafter, the art shows and magazine interviews came, and Quinn quickly became well known in the art circuit.
Despite her success, Quinn was ready for a change; she readily accepted an offer she received to teach an art class at NYU. The only downside was that all of her friends were thousands of miles away in Paris.
Quinn glanced down at the e-mails she and Mrs. Drake had exchanged, she could only hope that this Drake lady was at least halfway normal. She took a deep breath when she heard a soft knock at the front door.
When she opened the door, it took her a few seconds to recognize the petite brunette in an oversized NYU sweatshirt and worn jeans, as none other than Rachel Berry.
Quinn's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Berry?"
When she placed the ad in the paper, Quinn knew she had to be prepared for just about anyone to show up but, Rachel was the last person she expected to see.
Rachel stared up at the familiar blonde; her eyes were almost wide as Quinn's. "I'm sorry, I knew this was too good to be true," she said before turning to leave.
"Wait," Quinn placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder to prevent the girl from going anywhere but, she quickly retracted it when the fabric of Rachel's sweatshirt shifted and exposed scarring on her shoulder. Quinn stared down at the battered skin, and her mind raced as she tried to figure out what could have happened to cause such horrific damage. "I'm sorry...I didn't..."
Rachel quickly readjusted her sweatshirt and avoided Quinn's questioning gaze. "It's okay. I can still leave; I'm certain I'm the last person you would consider living with."
Quinn stared at Rachel for a few seconds; she seemed so different than the Rachel Berry from high school. Rachel's always perfect hair had been replaced by a messy bun, she was sickly thin, and dark circles outlined her eyes. "As long as you aren't a pervert or a drug addict, I'd actually really like for you to come in."
Rachel shifted on her feet and diverted her gaze to the ground for a few seconds, but ultimately she nodded and stepped into the apartment. "You home is lovely, Quinn. This art work...wow, it's exquisite."
Quinn felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment. "They're mine, actually."
Rachel turned her attention away from a particularly detailed painting of a cottage, and looked at Quinn. "I recall you wanting to pursue art after high school. I'm not surprised with your success. Even though the only art of yours I was exposed to were your bathroom stall doodles, I recall them being quite good. No one heard from you after you left, we never really knew what became of you."
Quinn nodded. "I know. I've been in Paris for the last ten years, I just recently moved to New York." In the past, she'd considered getting back in touch with her Glee friends, but she decided against it. She assumed they were just as busy in their new lives as she was. "What about you? Are you the Broadway star you always dreamed of becoming?"
"I...before everything..." Rachel stumbled over her words, and she took a deep breath in order to try and compose herself. "Yes, I was in Evita and Oklahoma. I also starred in the movie adaptation of Wicked. But, I'm taking a break right now."
Quinn nodded, and sat down on the couch. She motioned for Rachel to join her. After Rachel sat down, Quinn noticed the large ring on Rachel's left hand. "I don't know what your...situation is but, you do know I'm only look for one roommate, right?"
Rachel looked down at her hand. "I'm aware. He...they...don't worry, it's just me."
Quinn was definitely curious. In the past ten minutes she had heard Rachel fumble over her words more than she had in the fifteen years she'd known the girl. But, she could tell by the sad smile that graced Rachel's lips, that it was a sensitive situation, and she decided it would be best if she didn't push the brunette for details. "Oh, okay." Feeling awkward, Quinn looked down at the ground.
"I assumed this was some kind of hoax. I was half expecting to come here and find someone looking to harvest my organs, or something like that. I mean, you can't get a studio in the worst part of Manhattan for six-hundred a month, let alone an apartment like this."
Quinn suddenly felt embarrassed, she realized seeking a roommate for the sole purpose of company could seem extremely desperate. "Well, I...all my friends are back in Europe, and I didn't want to be completely alone."
"That's understandable," Rachel said as she reached up to wipe some stray hairs away from her face.
When Rachel moved her hand, Quinn noticed more scars similar to the ones on Rachel's shoulder. She also noticed three tattoos scrawled on Rachel's wrist. They were:
4-22-2016
2-07-2017
7-18-2020
Quinn recalled how uncomfortable Rachel became the last time she caught her staring, so she quickly diverted her gaze. "So, if you like it, you are more than welcome to move in. We already know each other, it's not like I have to interview you or anything."
Rachel looked surprised. "Really? I really appreciate this, Quinn." She bit her lip. "I know you must think I am completely irresponsible, and that it must seem like I blew all of the money I made during my time as an actress. But, that's not the way it happened."
The sadness that filled Rachel's eyes was almost overwhelming. "I didn't think that. I hope you know I'm not the same bitch I was in high school, I've changed. I assure you there will be no slushie throwing, and I will refrain from drawing pornographic pictures of you in the bathroom." Quinn was relieved when the last two remarks got a smile out of Rachel.
"That's very kind of you." Rachel's smile faded. "I'm not the same person, either. Far from it, actually. So, I assure you there will be no singing critique or storm outs during my time here."
Quinn laughed. "Good to know. You can start moving your things in whenever you want."
Rachel nodded. "I feel like I should let you know that Santana and Brittany will most likely be helping me move in. I know you haven't seen or talked to them since graduation."
"Santana and Brittany?" Quinn quirked an eyebrow. "You're friends with Santana?" Brittany she could understand, but the idea of Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez being friends completely boggled her mind.
"Yes, after Michael...a couple years ago we got really close. Brittany owns a dance studio, and surprisingly Santana managed to get on the correct side of the law, and is a police officer." Not wanting Quinn to ask her who Michael was, Rachel quickly turned the attention off of herself. "What is it you will be doing here, Quinn?"
Quinn pointed at the logo on Rachel's sweatshirt. "I'll be teaching at NYU. Did you go there? I thought I remember you getting accepted to Juilliard."
"I did,I went to Juilliard. This is just something comfortable that I just throw on to do errands and stuff." Rachel hoped Quinn wouldn't question her any further, she was barely managing to keep herself together.
Quinn noticed the way Rachel was rapidly blinking her eyes and gnawing at her lip. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened that left once spunky and feisty brunette so broken. Quinn assumed this Michael fellow that Rachel had mentioned a few minutes ago was her husband, and that they were going through some kind of nasty divorce, or something like that. As bad as she wanted to, she knew now was not the time to pry. "So, I can give you a tour, make sure you at least like the place."
Rachel nodded, and stood up so she could follow Quinn into the kitchen. As Quinn lead her through the dining room and family room, Rachel couldn't help but be mesmerized by all of the artwork on the walls. The boxes that remained in the room Quinn introduced to her as the office, as well as the ones in Quinn's bedroom, were evidence that the blonde hadn't been living there for too long.
"This is your room." Quinn opened the closed door across from her own bedroom. "It's fully furnished but, you can take whatever furniture you don't want out of here. Honestly, do whatever you want with the room. I want you to be comfortable here."
"Thank you, Quinn. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate you allowing me to live here," Rachel said. "I can only hope that I can provide the friendship you are seeking."
Quinn could tell Rachel was nervous about attempting a friendship, and she couldn't really blame here. "Remember, we're both very different people. I never thought I'd say this but, I'm sure living with Rachel Berry will be a pleasure."
Rachel smiled. "Is it okay if we come over tomorrow to start moving my stuff in?"
"Yeah, that's fine." Quinn made her way back into the kitchen and dug something out of one of the drawers. "Here's your key, in case I'm not home when you get here. Just let yourself in and do whatever it is you need to do."
Rachel smiled again as Quinn led her to the front door. "Thank you again, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"I guess so." Quinn leaned up against the door after Rachel left. She hoped she hadn't made a mistake. Her and Rachel had never been friends, and Rachel was the last person she ever thought she'd be living with. But, the girl seemed so broken, Quinn couldn't have turned her away, even if she wanted to.