How Frodo Haggins Was Kidnapped
Sam had never been more excited in her life. For the past two years she had been building up for this moment, the day when all her dreams would come true. This day was the 18th of December 2002, and Sam was prepared.
Although she considered herself to be naturally quite pretty and witty, Sam decided to dress up, put some make up on and practice a few lines for the big occasion. After all, if her plan was to work hen she would have to do all she could to impress her true love.
Her true love was of course the one and only Frodo Haggins, the Hollywood dreamboat from the smash hit movie trilogy, The Rings Of The Lord, And boy was he a catch! His gimpy stature and non-existent neck were enough to turn Sam on any day. The high heel boots Frodo had worn to the premier of the first movie of the trilogy (The Fellowship Of The Thing) had caused some controversy and there were rumours going around that he was gay. But on reflection, Sam decided that this didn't bother her because he was hot either way.
The night before the 18th, which was the date of the Wellington premier of the second movie in the trilogy (The Two Powers), Sam lay the clothes she had carefully picked to wear the next day on her bed. She had chosen a slinky, black dress, some black stilettos and a light, black shawl. These were sure to entice Frodo, Sam thought.
The next morning Sam woke up at 5.ooam and promptly had a shower, got dressed and readied herself in the bathroom. Skipping breakfast, because she was much to nervous to eat, Sam hurried out the front door and shut it quietly behind her so as not to wake anyone in her family up.
In the dark hour before dawn she walked silently down the street where she lived. About one hundred metres from her house here was a thick bush to the side of the footpath. Here Sam retrieved her bike which she had hidden there the day before. Attached to the front of her bike was a large, white basket, big enough for a five year old to sit in comfortably.
As the stars faded from the ever-lightening sky, Sam peddled crazily down the streets of Wellington, her black here no longer sleek, flying uncontrolled in her face. She was heading in the direction of the waterfront, to shed five where the first phase of her plan would take place.
Shed five was used by the local rock climbing business and contained the materials that would aid Sam in her plight. These materials were ropes, harnesses and pulleys and she was planning to steal them. When she arrived in front of the shed, she pulled a large stone out of a secret pocket within her dress. Aiming at a low window she chucked the stone with as much might as she could muster. The glass shattered with a sound that broke the dead quiet of the early morn.
As Sam entered through the broken window, alarm bells shrilled all around her. But this didn't seem to bother Sam and she quickly made her way over to the landing place of the stone she had used. "Mwahahah..hahahah, you serve me well rock!" she remarked to it as she held it in her hand. Going over to the gear cupboard, she broke its glass door and removed some of its contents onto the floor. From that she took three ropes, a harness and two pulleys. Leaving the rest behind, she sprinted over to the broken window and leaped out of it.
Sam ran to her bike and shoved the stolen gear into the basket at the front. As she peddled of she saw the flashing lights and siren of a police car pulling into the carpark next to shed six. The second destination for her plan was the Embassy theatre and as she approached it she tied the shawl, which had previously been on her shoulders, around her head so it was like the hood of a clo-ak. This disguise would come in useful later in the day.
Sneaking around the side of the Embassy with her bike, she was careful to make no noise. When she reached the back, she attached a rope to her bike. The other end of the rope in her hand, she climbed onto an old dumpster then onto the roof of the theatre which sloped down at this point. When she had hoisted her bike up, Sam made her way to the roof above the front of the Embassy and sat down behind a billboard which read "The Rings Of The Lord; The Two Powers, premier brought to you by Meridien Energy."
Sam was quite sleepy from her early start and having a few hours to spare, she decided to take a nap. It was several hours later when the late morning sun, shining down on the roof awoke her. She checked her watch, it was 11am and there was quite a crowd of people going in and out of the building. Sam watched as the road was shut off and a red carpet was laid down on the road leading up to the Embassy. As builders set up a stage beside the red carpet, and other people added tussock bushes, rocks and other such props to the pathway, Sam set up her gear behind the billboard.
By 2.00pm she had fastened the pulley and ropes to the base of the billboard and had got into her harness. Now all she needed to do was wait. At 3.00pm a small crowd had begun to gather on the street below. By 4.30pm it had turned into a large crowd, at least 5,000 people had showed up and more were arriving by the minute. Sam felt tingling sensations begin in her stomach and her heart was buzzing as every minute leading to the occasion passed.
When the hour of 5 finally came and the party began, Sam was in a much too anxious state to enjoy the festivities going on below. She knew that at 6.00pm the black limos would pull up and out of one would walk Frodo, his cheerful face smiling at the crowd. She could just imagine him now, bouncing around on the red carpet, gossiping with his co-stars and signing auto-graphs for the fans.
They arrived at 6.30, fashionably late, with cheers from the lively crowd. All around were the shrieking voices of young girls, "Frodo! Frodo! Please sign this for me!" As he rounded a corner on the red carpet Sam caught sight of him, looking as gorgeous as ever, in tight denim flares and a velvet jacket. She had her moves exactly planed, just before he got to the stage she would absail down from the roof, once at the bottom use the pulley to retrieve her bike and then she would swoop in.
As Frodo approached the stage, Sam stepped out to the edge of the roof, a cool breeze brushed on her face and her heart beat as she looked down. As people looked up at the strange figure standing on the roof and pointed, Sam knew this was he chance. She had to do it now, before security would stop her. She took a deep breath, turned around and started to descend. She was a metre from the bottom when a loud voice announced on the microphone, "Would the person scaling the Embassy please remain where she is and security will fetch you. Don't try anything stupid now!" Sam ignored the request and quickly lowered her self to the ground. Hastily she hoisted her bike down and when it was in her hands she jumped on it and road towards her loved one. The crowd 'oohed' and 'aaahed' at the mad woman, peddling insanely away from the security guards on her heels.
Frodo was quite taken by surprise when he saw a woman on a bike riding straight at him. Not having time jump out of the way he covered his head with his hands and prepared for a collision. But at the last second the bike swerved to the right and Frodo found himself yanked into the basket at the front of the bike by long arm. Startled and confused as he was, Frodo couldn't help noticing that the hand that grabbed him was quite warm at touch and its skin was silky and soft. He gazed up into the face of a beautiful, young woman, the shawl around her head was now drawn back to reveal a shining smile. "Woah lady, you're quite something!!" He said in awe. Sam's heart skipped a beat, these were the words she had been secretly yearning to hear, but the power of them when said by Frodo truly blew her away.
The crowd gave way as Sam rode straight through and opening from the red carpet onto the street. Barely knowing where she was going, Sam rode on, thinking vaguely of the New World carpark where she thought she might buy some time alone with Frodo before the cops found them. "Where are we going?" he inquired, "They'll be after you, you know." Sam looked down into his deep blue eyes, "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Frodo, its just, that I need to do this, I hope you understand." "I know, I trust you, I should be panicking but for some reason I'm at ease with this, well, strange, situation. It's the way you look into my eyes, it makes me feel safe." Sam blushed, and looked back at the road they were on, watching for a sign of pursuit. She reached the carpark safely and when she stopped the bike she helped Frodo out of his seat. There they stood looking at each other, neither one knowing what to say, "This is crazy!" Sam finally laughed, "I've just hijacked Frodo haggins, the police are searching for me and here I a standing with him in the carpark of a supermarket!" "Yes, quite mad" Frodo agreed. "Hehehe, here I am with someone who's just kidnapped me, and we're standing here laughing about it. I should be terrified, but I'm not, instead its quite the opposite." "Why?" she asked, looking once again into his eyes. "I really don't know, but there's something about you." He returned her gaze.
"Put your hands up and back away from the victim!" shouted a large voice that broke the silence of the peaceful moment just shared. "Its okay, officer," said Frodo, "The lady and I were just talking, she was never going to hurt me." "Are you sure of this Mr. Haggins? Do you want to press charges?" "No, that won't be necessary," reassured Frodo and he pulled a folded piece of paper and a pen from his jacket pocket. After scribbling something down he handed it to Sam, "There, I'm going to go back now, but I'd like to hear from you sometime." "When there are less police officers around to harass us." He added with a smile.
Sam stood there dumbfounded as she watched him walk away. Had she actually believed that this crazy plan of hers would work? Had it worked? When she looked down at the crumpled piece of paper she was clutching in her hand and read what it said she was sure she knew the answer. "Call me sometime"
Sam had never been more excited in her life. For the past two years she had been building up for this moment, the day when all her dreams would come true. This day was the 18th of December 2002, and Sam was prepared.
Although she considered herself to be naturally quite pretty and witty, Sam decided to dress up, put some make up on and practice a few lines for the big occasion. After all, if her plan was to work hen she would have to do all she could to impress her true love.
Her true love was of course the one and only Frodo Haggins, the Hollywood dreamboat from the smash hit movie trilogy, The Rings Of The Lord, And boy was he a catch! His gimpy stature and non-existent neck were enough to turn Sam on any day. The high heel boots Frodo had worn to the premier of the first movie of the trilogy (The Fellowship Of The Thing) had caused some controversy and there were rumours going around that he was gay. But on reflection, Sam decided that this didn't bother her because he was hot either way.
The night before the 18th, which was the date of the Wellington premier of the second movie in the trilogy (The Two Powers), Sam lay the clothes she had carefully picked to wear the next day on her bed. She had chosen a slinky, black dress, some black stilettos and a light, black shawl. These were sure to entice Frodo, Sam thought.
The next morning Sam woke up at 5.ooam and promptly had a shower, got dressed and readied herself in the bathroom. Skipping breakfast, because she was much to nervous to eat, Sam hurried out the front door and shut it quietly behind her so as not to wake anyone in her family up.
In the dark hour before dawn she walked silently down the street where she lived. About one hundred metres from her house here was a thick bush to the side of the footpath. Here Sam retrieved her bike which she had hidden there the day before. Attached to the front of her bike was a large, white basket, big enough for a five year old to sit in comfortably.
As the stars faded from the ever-lightening sky, Sam peddled crazily down the streets of Wellington, her black here no longer sleek, flying uncontrolled in her face. She was heading in the direction of the waterfront, to shed five where the first phase of her plan would take place.
Shed five was used by the local rock climbing business and contained the materials that would aid Sam in her plight. These materials were ropes, harnesses and pulleys and she was planning to steal them. When she arrived in front of the shed, she pulled a large stone out of a secret pocket within her dress. Aiming at a low window she chucked the stone with as much might as she could muster. The glass shattered with a sound that broke the dead quiet of the early morn.
As Sam entered through the broken window, alarm bells shrilled all around her. But this didn't seem to bother Sam and she quickly made her way over to the landing place of the stone she had used. "Mwahahah..hahahah, you serve me well rock!" she remarked to it as she held it in her hand. Going over to the gear cupboard, she broke its glass door and removed some of its contents onto the floor. From that she took three ropes, a harness and two pulleys. Leaving the rest behind, she sprinted over to the broken window and leaped out of it.
Sam ran to her bike and shoved the stolen gear into the basket at the front. As she peddled of she saw the flashing lights and siren of a police car pulling into the carpark next to shed six. The second destination for her plan was the Embassy theatre and as she approached it she tied the shawl, which had previously been on her shoulders, around her head so it was like the hood of a clo-ak. This disguise would come in useful later in the day.
Sneaking around the side of the Embassy with her bike, she was careful to make no noise. When she reached the back, she attached a rope to her bike. The other end of the rope in her hand, she climbed onto an old dumpster then onto the roof of the theatre which sloped down at this point. When she had hoisted her bike up, Sam made her way to the roof above the front of the Embassy and sat down behind a billboard which read "The Rings Of The Lord; The Two Powers, premier brought to you by Meridien Energy."
Sam was quite sleepy from her early start and having a few hours to spare, she decided to take a nap. It was several hours later when the late morning sun, shining down on the roof awoke her. She checked her watch, it was 11am and there was quite a crowd of people going in and out of the building. Sam watched as the road was shut off and a red carpet was laid down on the road leading up to the Embassy. As builders set up a stage beside the red carpet, and other people added tussock bushes, rocks and other such props to the pathway, Sam set up her gear behind the billboard.
By 2.00pm she had fastened the pulley and ropes to the base of the billboard and had got into her harness. Now all she needed to do was wait. At 3.00pm a small crowd had begun to gather on the street below. By 4.30pm it had turned into a large crowd, at least 5,000 people had showed up and more were arriving by the minute. Sam felt tingling sensations begin in her stomach and her heart was buzzing as every minute leading to the occasion passed.
When the hour of 5 finally came and the party began, Sam was in a much too anxious state to enjoy the festivities going on below. She knew that at 6.00pm the black limos would pull up and out of one would walk Frodo, his cheerful face smiling at the crowd. She could just imagine him now, bouncing around on the red carpet, gossiping with his co-stars and signing auto-graphs for the fans.
They arrived at 6.30, fashionably late, with cheers from the lively crowd. All around were the shrieking voices of young girls, "Frodo! Frodo! Please sign this for me!" As he rounded a corner on the red carpet Sam caught sight of him, looking as gorgeous as ever, in tight denim flares and a velvet jacket. She had her moves exactly planed, just before he got to the stage she would absail down from the roof, once at the bottom use the pulley to retrieve her bike and then she would swoop in.
As Frodo approached the stage, Sam stepped out to the edge of the roof, a cool breeze brushed on her face and her heart beat as she looked down. As people looked up at the strange figure standing on the roof and pointed, Sam knew this was he chance. She had to do it now, before security would stop her. She took a deep breath, turned around and started to descend. She was a metre from the bottom when a loud voice announced on the microphone, "Would the person scaling the Embassy please remain where she is and security will fetch you. Don't try anything stupid now!" Sam ignored the request and quickly lowered her self to the ground. Hastily she hoisted her bike down and when it was in her hands she jumped on it and road towards her loved one. The crowd 'oohed' and 'aaahed' at the mad woman, peddling insanely away from the security guards on her heels.
Frodo was quite taken by surprise when he saw a woman on a bike riding straight at him. Not having time jump out of the way he covered his head with his hands and prepared for a collision. But at the last second the bike swerved to the right and Frodo found himself yanked into the basket at the front of the bike by long arm. Startled and confused as he was, Frodo couldn't help noticing that the hand that grabbed him was quite warm at touch and its skin was silky and soft. He gazed up into the face of a beautiful, young woman, the shawl around her head was now drawn back to reveal a shining smile. "Woah lady, you're quite something!!" He said in awe. Sam's heart skipped a beat, these were the words she had been secretly yearning to hear, but the power of them when said by Frodo truly blew her away.
The crowd gave way as Sam rode straight through and opening from the red carpet onto the street. Barely knowing where she was going, Sam rode on, thinking vaguely of the New World carpark where she thought she might buy some time alone with Frodo before the cops found them. "Where are we going?" he inquired, "They'll be after you, you know." Sam looked down into his deep blue eyes, "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Frodo, its just, that I need to do this, I hope you understand." "I know, I trust you, I should be panicking but for some reason I'm at ease with this, well, strange, situation. It's the way you look into my eyes, it makes me feel safe." Sam blushed, and looked back at the road they were on, watching for a sign of pursuit. She reached the carpark safely and when she stopped the bike she helped Frodo out of his seat. There they stood looking at each other, neither one knowing what to say, "This is crazy!" Sam finally laughed, "I've just hijacked Frodo haggins, the police are searching for me and here I a standing with him in the carpark of a supermarket!" "Yes, quite mad" Frodo agreed. "Hehehe, here I am with someone who's just kidnapped me, and we're standing here laughing about it. I should be terrified, but I'm not, instead its quite the opposite." "Why?" she asked, looking once again into his eyes. "I really don't know, but there's something about you." He returned her gaze.
"Put your hands up and back away from the victim!" shouted a large voice that broke the silence of the peaceful moment just shared. "Its okay, officer," said Frodo, "The lady and I were just talking, she was never going to hurt me." "Are you sure of this Mr. Haggins? Do you want to press charges?" "No, that won't be necessary," reassured Frodo and he pulled a folded piece of paper and a pen from his jacket pocket. After scribbling something down he handed it to Sam, "There, I'm going to go back now, but I'd like to hear from you sometime." "When there are less police officers around to harass us." He added with a smile.
Sam stood there dumbfounded as she watched him walk away. Had she actually believed that this crazy plan of hers would work? Had it worked? When she looked down at the crumpled piece of paper she was clutching in her hand and read what it said she was sure she knew the answer. "Call me sometime"