This is my first attempt at writing, so please let me know if you like it. Thanks for reading!
Sookie just could not help it as she replayed the last two months over and over in her mind. From the moment he walked into Mertotte's and looked up at her with that smoldering stare, she was his; he did not even have to speak, he just looked at her with those deep, blue eyes. She recalled how a quiet calm came over her mind as she walked over to him as if in a trance, silencing the clamor of everyone else's brain. There was only the vampire.
She could not lie to herself and deny what stirred in her at that moment, every cell in her body awakened. It was unlike any rush she had ever felt before. If she did not know any better, she would swear he was able to glamour her.
Having never been able to get past the first date with a guy because she heard every filthy thought he had, she resigned herself to never being able to lie with a man. That did not mean she let that stop her from having what release she could. Even now, she blushed at the encounters she imagined as she dreamt. Not having experience of her own though, she relied on her books, movies, and occasionally a thought she plucked from someone's head involuntarily as her source material when she was alone. Hell, I was a virgin, not dead! I had needs, too.
That all changed when she met him. He was a beautiful, mythical and undoubtedly dangerous stranger. She imagined he was like the men she saw in movies or in her books that always ravaged the woman, ensuring her satisfaction first, his gratification second; a dominant, masterful lover. This vampire would now be the leading man in her dreams, taking her virginity night after night. When her dreams became her reality, it vastly paled in comparison to anything she could have imagined.
With all the lust and excitement her reverie brought, it was quickly followed by the pain and anger that now lived in her, and tore at her soul.
When he answered "Yes…" to her desperate question, the one that came after Eric so kindly tattled for his own revenge, about Bill's role in the beating she took from the Rattray's …f*cking Eric… she could not help but feel like she was instantly back on that dirt road outside of Merlotte's again, having just taken a kick to the stomach from Mac. All the air was knocked out of her lungs and a horrible knotted up feeling began in her stomach. In an instant, the curtain dropped and she saw that the life in which she had found love, a sense of belonging and had struggled to survive in for the last two months was all a lie. The man she loved and had killed for stood back and watched her being beaten within an inch of her life, all in the name of his 'job'.
All at once, she wanted to be somewhere else; her mind was spinning from the revelation and all that had led up to it. Since that could not happen, she got rid of her tormentor the only way she knew how. Thinking it over now….no…I still don't think I over reacted.
At that moment no number of explanations, excuses, or 'I am sorry's were going to do. She just needed everything to stop.