I know my feelings are one-sided.
Looking at him, it was quite clear to me he wasn't interested in me. I don't think he's ever given me special attention. He treats me like everyone else. I'm going to be stuck in the friend zone FOREVER.
Okay, he does treat me differently from others but only in the way he looks at me sometimes. He'll just look at me for a while, with eyes I can't figure out. His eyes have always told me things. They told me when he was sad, bored, happy, or longing to be elsewhere. The sky, perhaps? Anyways, I can never figure out the look he gives me. I assume it means he wants me to leave -- mostly because I usually say or do something I often don't before he gives me that look.
This has been happening quite a lot recently. To be honest, I'm afraid he's getting annoyed with me. The last thing I want is for him to hate me. No girl wants the guy she likes to hate her -- or him if you swing that way.
Yeah, if you haven't been keeping up with Namine Weekly, me liking Roxas might be news to you. Or not. I really hope it's not so obvious that even Roxas knows. Oh, how fun that would be.
Stop digressing, Namine!
Well, I'm sorry, Namine. I'm trying to inform new readers about my situation.
NAMINE, STOP THINKING TO YOURSELF LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. You do realize Roxas is sitting next to you, right?
Oh snap! Not again...
At this moment, I'm sitting next to him at a new restaurant that opened up in Twilight Town. We're having dinner together. This is not a date, to my dismay. There are three other people here. There's the caramel-haired man, the older red-haired man, and the raven-haired woman. That woman with short black hair is really close to him. That irks me. I'll admit I'm jealous. He talks to her differently than his other friends too. Things aren't looking very good to me.
Four weeks ago, she suddenly came from Destiny Islands or something. I saw less and less of him. This is actually the first time I've seen him this week. It's Saturday. We used to see each other at least four times a week, now I barely get to see him.
Luckily, we still talk to each other through text-messaging and email. We talk over the phone once in a while too when we're not to busy. The fact he still makes time for me made me happy. It makes to me feel like I matter to him. It makes me feel I'm not forgotten.
He excuses himself from the table and leaves to go to the bathroom. His two male friends follow. That left me and the woman alone together. We sit in silence as we eat our meals. I keep glancing at her. I wonder how I would look with short black hair. Would he look at me more? My face turned red. I finally notice woman had turned to me, smiling shyly.
"So you're Namine?" she says to me. "Who knew you'd be this pretty."
"Ah...thank you," I reply quietly, unsure how to respond.
"What's your relationship with him?" she asks. "Are you two dating?"
I wish, I think to myself. "Oh no. We're just friends," I say out loud. "Why do you ask?"
"I always catch him staring at his phone. He never pays attention to me. Even though we've been hanging out all the time these days. In fact, we talk about you," she tells me.
Me? I open my mouth to ask for clarification, but the guys all return now. He sits next to me, greeting me with a smile. The woman resumes eating, acting as if our conversation never happened. I sigh. I then look at my crush. His eyes show a bit of boredom at that moment. I wonder if I could do anything to entertain him.
My mind goes back to what the woman had said. Did they really talk about me a lot? Were they things he said good things? What if he complained to her about how much of a loser I am? Maybe I should just excuse myself so I can go home, bang my head on the wall, and eat a tub of ice cream. Rocky road sounds good right now.
I catch him looking at the window. He's looking at the sky. I haven't seen him do that in a while. Well, I haven't seen him in a while in general. But that look in his eyes isn't the same one I saw a month ago. It's not longing to escape Earth. It's not longing to fly up to the sky. It's more of..."What should I do?" look. Could I help him?
"Roxas," I quietly call his name.
He whips his head toward me immediately, with a smile. My heart skips a beat. "Hm? What is it, Namine?" It's that look. The same look he's been giving me for a while.
I open my mouth to ask him if I could help him with anything, but no words come out. My mouth feels dry. I stare at him, with my mouth wide open. I then shake my head and stand up. My shoulders fell and I walked off, trying to escape that moment. I am acting like an idiot.
I suddenly hear him calling my name as I exit the restaurant door. I turn around and see him chasing after me. I could her his male friend cheering him on. The red-haired man most likely. I turn my attention to my crush. He asks me what I wanted to say. I can't respond. I shake my head once more, trying to assure him it was nothing important.
"That's a lie. Spit it out," he commands.
"No," I reply. "It's nothing, really. Believe me."
"I won't."
He then looks at me with those eyes I can't read. I feel frustrated. Why can't I understand those eyes? Those stupid azure eyes. Why couldn't they tell me anything?
"Stop looking at me like that!" I yell.
He blinks once, surprised most likely. I continue speaking.
"Any other look from you, I can understand what's going on in your head. But that one...I can't read it. It frustrates me," I confess. "And you're always giving me that look. What the heck does it mean? Do you know how many hours at home I spend thinking about you and that look? Those hours I spend thinking about what it means. Hours I'll spend thinking about you in general. I'll think, when will I see Roxas? Why hasn't he called yet? Is he busy? Does he think of me this way too? I spent countless of hours just thinking about where you are and who you're with. It's killing me. I keep thinking about you, and it's driving me crazy. It's been going on for a while too! It's horrible!"
I run my hands through my hair, tired of talking. He still stares at him in disbelief. He moves a bit closer. I sigh.
"Let's face it, Roxas. I like you. I like-like you. In a crush way. I've practiced this so many times. I've wanted to say this so many times. I've tried to say this so many times. But I couldn't until now. I've been so afraid of being rejected, but it's eating at my soul. I can't handle it. And you're talking about me a lot apparently! I'm even more plagued with thoughts of you. I don't know what the heck you're saying about me. My gosh, I hate liking you. So reject me and let me cry about my one-sided love. Let me cry and get over you. Let me get you out of my head!"
I would have said more, but his lips crashed into mine. He was kissing me. I'm too stunned to kiss back. I just couldn't get over the fact he was kissing me on the lips. My knees felt so weak that I could have fell right on the floor.
His lips part from mine. He's blushing and mumbles, "It's not one-sided. It's definitely not."
He takes my hand into his and holds it tightly. My cheeks are burning red. It feels so surreal.
My feelings for Roxas aren't so one-sided after all.
A/N: HAPPY NAMIXAS DAY! This is sort of a continuation of Dear You: Kind, but you don't have to read that to get this one (but it'd be nice if you read it too~). I'm writing in present tense, which I usually don't. So point out any mistakes there. There is a possibility I'll write a continuation to this one. It would be called "Dear You: Cry" which our favorite couple will run into trouble D: But it's Namixas day so let's end it at them getting to together and being happy!
Namine's point of view is fun to write. I need to write more stories with her side of things.
Edit:// Forgot to mention how it's Namixas day. In idiotique's words: "today is the day KH1 came out, aka when sora stabbed himself, aka nami and roxas' birth XD"