"Du, Hey du, Chase after it. Gewehr und Blut. Fall down into Hell, Über dem Rand…" Prussia murmured the song he wrote for himself, tapping his finger on the trackpad of his laptop as he scrolled through his favorite blog on Tumblr. The always-present slight smirk on his face deepened as he read something America had posted, and moved his cursor over to Like it, when a loud BANG coming from the kitchen shook his entire house and almost knocked him out of his chair.
"GILBERT BEISCHMIDT, VHERE THE HELL ARE YOU." Prussia froze in place, closing his laptop in slow motion as if any sudden movements would cause the death of him. A couple years ago, hearing that fuming female shout would have sent him packing for the hills in a millisecond. But now, he looked forward to hearing the sound of her voice, and was quite used to her presence. So he loosened his shoulders and widened his maroon eyes considerably less.
However, the last time he heard such fury booming in that Hungarian accent had been before they were openly in love.
Prussia gulped, took a deep breath to keep up his usual cool, suave persona, and slipped out down the hall to the kitchen. "Hallo there, babe," Prussia greeted smoothly, ignoring the fact that there was now a huge dent where the door had hit his wall, and that Hungary's face was practically glowing with rage. There was one thing he couldn't overlook, though: the frying pan gripped tightly in his girlfriend's hands.
"You LIED to me!" she shrieked between clenched teeth. She stomped across the kitchen in a very unladylike way, and before Prussia could even register what was about to happen, she brought the pan down atop his head of platinum hair.
"OW! Damn it, voman…!" Prussia hissed, instinctively covering his head with both hands. What could she possibly be on about? Had she found out that he didn't actually have a million followers on Tumblr; that he was actually only in the 900 thousands?
With her frying pan still held over her head, light brown hair straggled about her face, near murder blazing in her usually lovely green eyes, any trace of the housewife persona she'd been working at adapting was completely gone. In fact, it wasn't even like she resembled the total tomboy she had been at a younger age: it looked more like she was possessed by the devil. Prussia winced in preparation to be hit with her wielded weapon again, but instead, she kicked him so hard in the knee that he went sprawling backward. "You saidI vasn't going to get pregnant!"
It took a moment for that to settle with Prussia, seeing as he was occupied rubbing his head with one hand and his leg with the other. "Vait, vait… VHAT?" he choked out.
Hungary lowered her arms, only to grab her boyfriend by the collar of the shirt and forcefully yank him to his feet. "YOU HEARD ME!" Their faces were now pressed together so Prussia could easily see how utterly peeved Hungary was, though he disregarded that for the moment as he digested her words.
"You mean… Mein awesome 5 meters got you pregnant?" he confirmed, his eyes widening. He didn't have the opportunity to grin, because Hungary had slammed him against the wall so hard that he started to see stars.
"Yes, Prussia! You said that you," with every following word, she slammed the frying pan against his shoulder and head, "VOULDN'T. GET. ME. PREGNANT!" It was true: Hungary was always hesitant to have sex with Prussia, not because it wasn't fun attempting (and occasionally succeeding) to dominate even though she had less experience than him, but because they were unmarried. Prussia insisted that shouldn't matter since they were as good as engaged, and although that was usually enough to get Hungary in bed, he still had to promise that he wouldn't leave her pregnant out of wedlock.
Prussia howled with pain, his upper body aching so badly that he couldn't see straight. He attempted to cover his head again, though he knew that would be fruitless and just result in crippled knuckles. "Vell if you KILL me vith that thing, you're paying for your own abortion!"
Hungary froze mid swing, her eyes rounding. "Vhat did you just say?" she whispered airily, even though she knew exactly what her boyfriend had said.
"Vell you obviously don't VANT the kid," Prussia reasoned, closing one eye and raising an eyebrow.
You would have thought Prussia just invited Hungary to go sell her soul to the devil. Her eyes widened even further, and she aimed an utterly poisonous glare at Prussia. "I'm not getting a damned ABORTION!" she shrieked. And with that, she kicked Prussia in his acclaimed "5 meters."
His eyes practically rolled up into his head as he groaned in pain. "Then raise the thing yourself!" he muttered.
With a huff, Hungary dropped her pan with a clatter and used her foot to slide it off to the side. "No vay. You're helping." She was still breathing heavily, but at least she wasn't screaming anymore.
Despite the excruciating pain Prussia was in, a form of relief washed over his pale face "Oh thank GOTT. I thought you vere gonna fatally cripple me and leave me to rot somevhere."
Hungary rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, glancing away from her boyfriend. "I vouldn't do that. I love you," she said as if she hadn't just viciously assaulted him.
Now Prussia crossed his arms as well, gradually regaining himself. "Vouldn't do that, huh? You just came pretty damn close." He motioned at his bruising self.
A vein pulsed in Hungary's temple. "Because I'm ANGRY with you!" she hissed in exasperation. Prussia furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Vait, so you don't vant the kid? Make up your mind!"
"No, I vant it, I love kids," Hungary insisted so quickly that her words were barely distinguishable. "But… You promised it vouldn't happen! Vhat happened to using protection?!" she squeaked.
For a moment, Prussia thought back to all the times he'd made love to Hungary. He knew he'd used a condom each time; Hungary insisted upon it. "Mein awesomeness must've overvhelmed the condom," Prussia reasoned with a prideful grin. Hungary's, expression, showed only devastation, disbelief, and lingering anger.
"…You're… saying it broke…"
"Ja," Prussia responded simply with a nod, still beaming.
"And you didn't… tell me," Hungary continued with the same deadly patience.
Prussia pouted immaturely. "I didn't realize at the time," he told her truthfully.
Hungary's teeth were clenched again. "How can you not realize something like that."
"I vas having too much fun," Prussia murmured. Since the frying pan was currently too far for her to quickly reach, Prussia reached out and ran his fingers across Hungary's cheek. This was the gesture they used to calm each other down as they were panting in bed after hours of their competitive intercourse. In fact, they often fell asleep with one of their hands on the other's cheek.
The gentle touch did its job, as Hungary softened up a great deal. "I'm still going to kick your ass later," she insisted.
"But then you'll make the baby EXPLODE." In Prussia's mind, this made perfect logical sense. And, in a way, he did know what he was talking about: the energy required for "kicking his ass" couldn't be good for Hungary or the unborn child.
Hungary just sighed, running a hand through her untidy hair. Maybe she was stressing herself out way too much at the moment… She opened her eyes halfway when she felt Prussia lightly place his hand atop hers. "Caaaaalm doooooown," he droned, drawing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. Hungary's eyes stared up into his, and the blazing ferocity from earlier had fully died out.
"Prussia… I did eventually vant to have kids vith you. But… I vanted to be married first," she explained softly.
"Then ve can get married, like, tomorrow! Have one of those private things," Prussia suggested, grinning. For now, he was able to put the throbbing in his head behind him and focus on how relieved he was that Hungary probably wasn't going to hit him again anytime soon.
"Vhat if I vant a real vedding?"
Oh, here they go again. How they could be so in love yet argue so much was a mystery. "Private veddings ARE real. And ve don't have to go through all the trouble of planning it out and spending a shit load of money…" Prussia reasoned.
"…I suppose…" Hungary sighed. "Okay, okay. Ve can have a private vedding."
Prussia's face lit up. "AWESOME! Now ve can be all married before you have the baby, so you can be happy to be knocked up, ja?" He pressed one hand against her stomach, which nobody would have noticed was beginning to form a slight bump unless they felt it like Prussia was currently doing.
"Yeah….." Hungary murmured, glancing off to the side and blushing a light shade of pink.
The pain in Prussia's head was now long forgotten. "Hey, it's lunch time. Since you're all pregnant, I'm going to cook for you." Hungary perked up slightly, drifting toward the table for two in the corner of Prussia's kitchen.
"And vhat are you going to make?" she asked with a bemused smirk. Prussia blinked.
"Uh..." A light bulb seemed to go off above his head. "SAUSAGE! I'll make you sausage." Hungary watched with mild interest as Prussia bolted to his refrigerator, taking but a second to find an unopened box of sausage. He was relieved that he was as organized as his brother and didn't have to take forever to find what he was looking for. "Okay, I'll need a- ….pan…" He briefly eyed Hungary's frying pan, sitting innocently in the middle of the floor. "….TO THE MICROVAVE!" Hungary laughed as Prussia deposited the sausage links on a paper towel and inserted them into the microwave.
"Mm, microvave food. How gourmet," Hungary teased once Prussia placed the small meal in front of her on the table. Narrowing his eyes slightly yet also grinning, Prussia pulled the second chair up beside Hungary and plopped himself into it.
"At least I'm feeding you, voman. I could let you STARVE."
Hungary placed both hands over her heart. "And I appreciate that you're so kind, you put effort into keeping me fed." She took a dainty bite of a sausage link while Prussia popped three of them into his mouth at once.
The couple sat in silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, as they cleared the plate set in front of them. "So how far along are you? Ve've banged a few times," Prussia asked once the last link was swallowed.
"At least four months…" Hungary answered, ignoring the second part.
The grin on Prussia's face lost a deal of its usual cockiness. "Awesome. So, halfvay there, right?" He leaned forward and down slightly, lightly grabbing hold of her waist with both hands and delivering a gentle kiss to Hungary's stomach through her dress.
A soft smile appeared on Hungary's face. "Close to it, yes." Prussia sat up, keeping one hand around her and gently running it up and down her side. He snickered.
"Not too long before you get all fat."
The bliss vanished from Hungary's face in a flash. "Pregnant, not fat," she corrected him irritably.
"Fat FROM being pregnant," Prussia decided. Hungary rolled her eyes, but felt a smile start to twitch back onto her face.
A heavy, happy sigh left Prussia's lips. "Mein gott, this is so awesome… Ve're having a BABY. This is so… awesome!"
Hungary chuckled, shaking her head fondly. "Everything is awesome to you…" She wiped her hands on a napkin, her gaze absently glued to her boyfriend's face.
"Nein, not EVERYTHING… Hangovers, Vest, you hitting me vith that devil pan…" Prussia decided to cut his least of non-awesome things there. "But this? This is vay awesome. I'm going to be a VATI!" Hungary grabbed hold of Prussia's wrist, lightly sliding it back onto her stomach.
"And vhat a great vati you'll be." For a moment, Hungary doubted her words. But when she saw the dedication belied under the arrogance in Prussia's eyes, she believed them.
Prussia shrugged, grinning beamishly. "You'll be an even better mutti. Not as awesome… But better."
"Maybe, maybe….." Hungary's smile faded. "…Gilbert… Do you realize vhat a big responsibility this is?"
"Ja, ja, of course. Ve gotta raise the kid, and pay for its crap, and stuff like that… But ve got this, Elizaveta!" Prussia gently brought his fist against Hungary's shoulder, as if they were just childhood friends, not lovers. His red eyes met her green ones, and with even more confidence than he carried on a daily basis, he said: "This is the most awesome thing that could happen to us."
Based off of a role play I did with KiwiFruit07. The song Prussia was singing at the beginning was his character song, My Song That Was Written By Me For Me.