Joke's On You
The filming of Corpse Bride has been going on for what seems like FOREVER. Today's latest take has been particularly trying. As the crew tries to pull together a performance of Remains of the Day for the ELEVENTH TIME in an hour and a half, Bonejangles assumes his position under Emily's dress and whispers to her, "Pssst. Wanna hear a joke?" Emily knows better than to break character right before a scene, but she's sick of getting made up and cooked under hot lights and being made to work with extras that can never remember half their stinking lines, let alone their entrance cues or what they're supposed to be doing with their hands and the physical placement of their bodies half the time. So she whispers back after making sure that no one is looking. "Sure." Her friend cranes up so he's about half a foot from her ear and uses his hoarsest stage whisper: "VICTOR'S HAIR."
Emily slaps both hands over her mouth but snorts so loudly that she honks Maggot out of what remains of her nose. She proceeds to laugh so hard that she bends in half and pounds on the nearest solid surface- Bonejangles's skull- for the next twenty-two minutes. Victor folds his arms. "Hey now!" From backstage, Victoria giggles. As more of the sleep-deprived, easily-amused cast breaks down hooting and snorting, Tim Burton throws down his clipboard and violently shoots out of his folding chair. "Dagnabbit! Film isn't free, you know!"