Penitent
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Warning: Language, adult situations, implied rape/non-consent; concentual;
Angst/spiritual
Penitent
Only Angels Know How to Fly
Chapter 1
He should have felt guilty. However, he did not. Normally bedding a virgin would have caused him no pleasure- it had. Her tight muscular body had gripped him firmly and he shuttered with uninhibited pleasure. He thought it was going to be easy, but it had not been.
She worshipped him, she had a crush on him, and he knew it. However, when he pursued his urge, she had refused. Angrily, his temper flared. He had let her feelings lead him into a false security that this would seem like an easy conquest. He was use to being overly harsh with her when they sparred, so when he struck her, she backed down. Mistakenly he assumed that she was willing to share with him his lust.
Now the deed was done- she had cried out in pain and then cried out in pleasure. She fell asleep and he held her in his arms. He was left with the aftermath. He had forced her- he knew it was wrong, but he would do it again.
No one put him as high on a pedestal then Pan. Most everyone wanted something from him, but not her. She was young, and sweet and so damn hot. He figured that he had found a perfect person. She was someone he could have for himself, untouched by no one but him. Smugly he fell asleep with his caught angel- one he would keep forever!
Her dreams were shattered. The boy she loved and adored was a rotten man. She had trusted him, but he had taken that trust and thrust his own madness deep inside of her. She thought to fight, but he had found it amusing and smacked her heavily with leaden fists. Afraid, she dare not fight anymore. Her emotions were too raw.
How could he take her like that? Ho and how he took her. She cried at first, but then her body betrayed her as he brought he pleasure. She hated him and loved all at once. Never the less, the fear he inflicted when he was angered drove her mind to the brink. She never feared anyone. The only fear she ever had was the loosing those close to her. Now she had lost her best friend.
She lay tightly in his arms gauging what would come next. When deep sleep found her lover, she lowered her Ki and snuggled down. She then wiggled herself from his firm grip and eased off the bed. Looking at him there nearly broke her spirit: he was beautiful; silk lavender framed his chiseled face, his lips puckered, and body was perfection. The ache to hold him was still present, though her trap like mind would not relinquish what he had done.
Sorrow squeezed her heart. She then silently wondered what could ever make things right now. She fought her inner demons to climb back in bed, wake him up, and beg him to take the pain away. She wanted him to be her savior again just like always. However, she could not move. Saving her sanity, a deep angered voice told her to flee. And she did.
Scooping up a capsule form his dresser, she threw it out the window. It released into an air bike. She forged the helmet out and jumped on the bike. She lowered her Ki and blasted off. She reached her home and flew up to her room from the outside. She packed her belongings and capsulated them. She reached into her desk drawer and brought out her financial paperwork. She checked it to be sure that her situation was not too desperate. In six months time she would have Grandfather Satan's parting gift- her inheritance. Until then she had her own savings that she had sequestered for emergency. Until then she never needed it.
Sadly, she left her home carrying her capsulated belongings. The voice she had heard in Trunks room kept telling her to move and until she quieted it, she would keep going. She knew that when she felt safe again she would not stop hearing it.
Bleeding now I'm
Crying out I'm
Falling down and I'm
Feeling nothing like
Laughing now I'm
Stopping now I'm
Reaching out and I'm
Feeling nothing
(Disturbed:
Numb)
Trunks tried to play surprised. He should have been given a friggin Oscar for such a performance. Stoically he stood, telling Pan's worried parents that he had no ideas why Pan would run away. Inside he trembled. However, like every great actor, he had his critics. Vegeta was too astute to be fooled by Trunks act…
When the Son's left, in search of their daughter, they had taken Bulma and Bra. He was going to go too. Vegeta approached his son,
"You better Hope you find her!" was hi reply
Shuddering Trunks hurriedly packed some necessary things and joined in the search, to find his angel.
6 months later
Pan's party was a private affair. Videl had baked a cake, she place the two small gifts on the table waiting in a trance like motion while she lit the 18 candles. She sang a melancholy rendition of Happy Birthday. When she finished the song, she lit the 19th candle for good luck.
NO one blew out the candles. They burned until the wax melted down and they burnt themselves out. Videl cried until her weariness made her sleep. Gohan found her there, lonely and waiting for her baby girl to come home.
HE picked her up, carried her listless body back upstairs, and laid his wife on their bed. Sadly, he left and he made his way to Pans room. As a punishment of sorts, he spent an hour everyday in there after he retuned home from work. He had to repair the damage he had done. HE had destroyed most if it in a fit of rage about a month after Pan had left. The guilt of his actions nearly destroyed Videl and him.
While he spent his hour each day, he imagined she was there and he worked and would replay many of their conversations they had had. Tonight he realized that the room would be finished soon. There was not to much left to be repaired. He had the paint ready to do and all the posters that had hung on the walls had been re-bought and waited to be re-hung. Prolonging his moment, he stopped his work.
"Pan-cake, baby please be safe," he mumbled out his prayer. No matter why she left, Gohan only wanted her to be safe. He knew enough to know that she was not gone. Every so often, he would sense her signature, but even tearing off as fast as he could, he had not found her yet. HE contemplated if she would alert them by doing it, or accidentally stopped suppressing. He was sure a device suppressed it, he only hoped it was by her doing and not …. He stopped his train of thought. Pan had left and taken most of her things with her. "Please come home, I love you "he finished his thought and sat in the middle of her room, tears left his eyes.
Trunks could see him in the distance. HE watched Gohan work in Pans room, agonizingly he repaired the damage he had caused. Trunks knew how it felt. He had offered to help once but Gohan shot it down. Gohan had vehemently said that he was to blame for the destruction and that he had to make it up to Pan to set it right. The man had a tortured soul, and this was his repentance for his sin.
The words still haunted Trunks. Pans parents had never done anything wrong as far as raising Pan. They were great parents. Pan was a great girl. Sadly, he was the one at fault. Everyone had trusted him with Panny. From the moment of her birth, he and she were close. No one had to worry where and what Pan was doing because Trunks was there. He hung his head in shame. He wished he could tell Pans parents what he had done, so that his sins cold be taken from him. However, he was too scared. Trunks wanted to make it up to Pan too, but she was gone. Everything was his fault. HE wished he could find some way to make it right again…