Author's Note: Hiya! I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I know I have tons of stuff that needs updating. Unfortunately, the little illness I've had has morphed into something that required me to actually get up off the couch and take a trip to the emergency room the other day. Needless to say, I can't pull my concentration together enough to crank out anything new. I did manage to dig around on my hard drive and find a few tantalizing bits that rabid plot bunnies dropped on my doorstep while I was working on my "Thief" stories. They really don't have anything to do with the plot of either one, but I couldn't resist writing them down. I figured I'd post them up to amuse you guys until I got over this hump. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I've never claimed to own Transformers. If I ever become so lucky, you people will be the first to know.

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Jealousy

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Ironhide had been against the idea from the beginning. He would never admit it but he had actually felt a bit hurt and rejected by her request at first. Revecca, however, had given him 'the look' that never failed to get him to give in. She had looked up at him with her wide, bright green eyes and her bottom lip stuck out in that cute little pout...How could he say no? His resolve broken, he had eventually relented and agreed to allow her to go shopping for a new car.

He couldn't for the life of him understand why she should even need her own transportation. She had him, didn't she? He would have gladly driven her anywhere she wanted to go in a heartbeat if for no other reason than to spend time with her. Hell, when it came right down to it the woman did, afterall, reside in an installation full of mech's willing to take her wherever she needed to go whenever she needed to go. Transportation shouldn't have been an issue for her at all.

He had to admit, though, Revecca had made a good argument. When the responsibilities he held as a member of the Autobots came into play, she had stated matter-of-factly, he wasn't always able to drop what he was doing to take her somewhere. Nor did she expect him to. She also didn't feel right about hassling the others to stop what they were doing to give her a lift. Having her own mode of transportation would give her a bit of the freedom she needed to do what she had to do without disrupting the daily activities of others.

As he had watched her leave to go car shopping, he had felt a pang of jealousy deep in his spark. He actually found himself hoping Rev would come home behind the wheel of some old, used clunker, possibly a big, ugly station wagon or maybe even a dinged up minivan. That, he figured, he would be able to reasonably deal with for the most part.

Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen. He knew Revecca better than that. It should have came as no surprise to him when she came home driving a brand new, shiny, white Audi TT Coupe. His jaws had nearly come unhinged as the woman had hopped out of the car, giving it an affectionate pat on the hood, and practically skipping over to where he stood.

The green-eyed monster within 'Hide reared its ugly head almost immediately. He looked at the flashy, new intruder with barely concealed loathing. "What the frag is that thing?"

Rev had looked over at the car and beamed brightly. "It's kinda sexy, huh? I couldn't resist. I've got some money saved up so I thought what the hell. Its not like I'm spending it on anything else..."

"Sexy?" Ironhide's CPU nearly fritzed. He looked down upon the woman in disbelief. He gestured toward the car. "Please don't tell me ya find that thing attractive."

"I think it's cute." Revecca looked up at the mech. "You don't like it?"

Not wanting to admit his true feelings, Ironhide decided to try another approach. "It's too small. It has absolutely no cargo space…" He looked down upon the female. "It's completely impractical."

Revecca tilted her head back to look up at him with a wide grin plastered across her face. "It isn't supposed to be practical, Ironhide. It's supposed to be fun."

"Fun?" Ironhide shook his head. "It isn't safe. It would never survive a serious accident." The mech crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "I don't want you driving it."

"Safe?" Rev looked at the mech. "I'll have you know that this car scored five stars out of a possible five in front side impact crash tests."

Ironhide grumbled. "I still don't like it."

A slow grin worked its way across her features. "Aww...don't tell me... You're not jealous are you, 'Hide? I mean, it's just a car..."

"Jealous?" Ironhide snorted as he glared coldly down upon the coupe. "Why would I be jealous?"

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Oh, but he was jealous. Very much so. He had ground his dental plating together in resentment of the small vehicle on the occasions he had watched her bathe and wax it. The sight of her gently buffing the pristine, white paint to a glossy shine made his coolant boil. Everytime he saw Rev fawning over it he prayed a meteor would fall from the sky and smash it into a twisted pile of smoldering metal. How he hated that car. He hated it with a passion.

It seemed everytime he stepped foot outside it was there, sitting smugly and silently taunting him. 'Hello, 'Hide', it seemed to be saying, 'Been anywhere with your femme lately? OH! That's right. You haven't…because she's with ME. Ha ha ha!! Maybe if you were more sleek and aerodynamic she'd want to spend as much time with you as she does me…'

It took a considerable amount of restraint for him to resist stomping the tiny car into the ground.

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Much to his irritation, Revecca had found it hillarious when he confided in her that he believed the car was mocking him. Ironhide huffed. "I'm tellin' ya, Rev, that car is no good."

"Oh my god, Ironhide. You can't be serious." Revecca laughed until tears came to her eyes. She collapsed on the berth next to his head, clutching her sides as peels of laughter wracked her body. "I can't believe it. You are really jealous of a damn car."

Ironhide narrowed his optics. "Am not."

"Oh, you so totally are." She crawled across the berth toward him, rocking back to sit on her heels and putting on her most serious face. "Look, I'm supposed to go shopping with Maggie later." She reached out to softly stroke the part of his face she could reach." If it'll make you feel any better, I'll cancel my plans with her and you and me can go somewhere and hang out. Just the two of us. What do you say?"

Ironhide perked up a bit at the thought of spending some much desired time alone with the woman, then he frowned. "I can't. Prowl has me on monitor duty tonight." He reached down to brush a finger along her side. "Tomorrow?"

Revecca sucked her teeth and made a disappointed face. "Aww, I can't go tomorrow."

Ironhide's shoulders slumped. "Why not?"

Revecca's mouth twitched as she struggled to hold in more laughter. "I have a date with the Audi."

Ironhide snatched his finger away from the woman and stood up. He put his hands on his hips and glared down at Rev who was once again laughing hysterically. "I'm so glad ya think this is amusin'." The mech turned to stomp out of the room.

"Ironhide! Come back!" Revecca was still laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "C'mon! I was only kidding! It was a joke!"

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There was only so much that even the most patient and understanding of mechs could take. Needless to say, Ironhide was neither. He had taken all he could take from the arrogant, little sportscar.

"Don't think I don't know what you're tryin' to do. I'm on to you." Ironhide stood with his optics narrowed and his cannons humming as he looked down upon his nemesis one bright and early Saturday morning. "I'm tellin' ya right now, you pile of scrap, she's mine. You're not gonna get her that easy."

Silence was Ironhide's only reply as the small, sleek coupe continued to sit innocently in the place it had been parked without a care in the world. The mech circled the vehicle, his fingers flexing. He snorted as he came to stand in front of the hood. "I don't understand what she saw in ya in the first place, but I'll tell ya one thing...This place ain't big enough for the both of us."

Glancing around to make sure no one would see him, Ironhide advanced toward the inanimate machine. A smirk pulled at his mouth. "One of us has ta go...and it ain't gonna be me."

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Revecca jingled her keys as she made her way out of the building. She had been giving it some thought and decided that, for the sake of everyone's sanity, she would trade in the Audi for something a little less threatening to Ironhide's mech-hood. As much fun as she had been having teasing the poor guy for the passed couple weeks, she could tell it was really starting to get to him. She loved Ironhide and hated to seem him upset, even if it was funny as hell.

Stepping outside into the bright sunshine, Rev was greeted instantly with the sight of unimmaginable carnage. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Sitting in the spot where a shiny, new car had once been was a large crater, the ground around which was scorched and charred. In the dead center of was a twisted, smoking heap of what had presumably once been a vehicle. It was only made recognizable by the four distinctive interlocking circles on what had once upon a time been the grill. The poor thing had never stood a chance.

Clenching her fists, Rev turned away from the scene. There could only be one explaination for what had happened. She stalked back toward the base. "IRONHIDE!!"

The End

Just a short little something. If you liked it let me know. I have a few more I can post up if you want to read them. I know Ironhide prides himself on being all mechly and bad ass, but I can totally see him feeling threatened by some flashy, little sports car. Especially if perceives himself to be in competition with it for the attention of the lady in his life. Till we meet again...

Her Royal Voodooness