Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry potter characters, and I do realize they probably would not act like this.

Note: This piece is intended for humorous and is quite random, so don't read it if you want a realistic boring fic. No flames I know it makes no sense but was a 5 minute laugh to write….

This is my take of the 7th book:

Then, Harry Potter woke up.

JKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJK

It actually starts off with Harry at the Dursley's, but that lasts about 1, 2 seconds. He only wanted the protection after all. Harry disapparates and appears at where else but The Burrow.

He runs in and sees someone with long red hair! It's Ginny! He appears in front and snogs Ginny. But it was George or Fred…. How very horrid…. Must they have Ginny hair!

Embarrassed Harry runs up to Ron's bedroom to see Ron and Hermione snogging. They notice him and Hermione runs up to him and slaps him… "You snogged Bellatrix! I thought you hated her with a fiery bonbonish passion!"

Ron sniggered at the thought of Ginny and Dudley in a ship sailing out to sea…. (Fiery Bonbon ship Ginny/Dudley) "Hey Harry Knock Knock!"

Harry questions, "Who goes there?"

"Impatient starfish" Before Harry could complete the next line one reaches out his hand in starfish formation and grabs Harry's conk!"

A horrid Harry beating begins…

Voldemort appears in a swirling of clocks… (I meant to say cloaks but w.e.)

"What the PHO!" the trio yells in unison…

"GOM GOM GOM! You snogged Bellatrix! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Then Evil Lisbeth appears. "Bombard!" she cries. A phoenix horde comes out and swallows the green light… Then she bombards Senor Tenebroso (Dark Lord en espanol) w. lit candles and forms a cage and steals him…

"We'll be back, after we snog" She yells then "Senorita Margarita" and she was gone.

Hermione and Ron are too flabbergasted to conjure items to continue the horrid Harry beating.

Suddenly a boinging rhino with boinging hair and pilgo written on its forehead, that had been stalking the trio, charged out the window… It died, how tragic. HAHAHA

Then, Harry woke up…

JKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJK