ADA Rafael Barba stood in the doorway, staring intently, watching your every move. Your back was to him as you drilled the perp before you. The ADAs eyes moved from the floor up, taking in the sight of you in a pair of stilettos and a form fitted evening gown. He bit his lip as he observed you closing in on the suspect, backing him against the wall.

"I don't know why my Sargent has me wasting time on you. It's obvious you're not the guy. You're not man enough for it." You scoffed, tossing your hair in his face.

The man ground his teeth.

"What woman would willing go to your bed? No; our guys has a way with the ladies, he's not some trust fund loser."

"Loser? Lady I could have any woman I want. I could have you too." He leaned his face closer to yours. "The things I could show you. Only a real man could make you feel how I can. Whaddya say babe?"

You scoff in his face. "I don't think a guy with your," you glance down at his crotch. "shortcomings…," you pause to let the word linger, you see him clench his teeth. "…could satisfy anyone…" you finish your face impassive.

The man lunges forward and tackles you to the ground. "I'll show you exactly how much of a man I am. Just like I showed that Mahoney bitch!" he yelled pinning you to the floor and pressing his erection into your stomach. Barba is at your side instantly, as well as Carisi who pulls the perp off of you and slams him into the wall as he cuffs him.

"Carino, y/n, are you okay?" Barba asks brushing hair out if your face. You grunt and motion for him to help pull you up. He offers his hand and helps you to your feet . "What the hell were you thinking? He might have-"

"I got a confession didn't I?" You say rubbing your head where it had made contact with the wood planked floor.

"At the risk of your life! Which is not something I'm willing to gamble with just for a confession!" he almost yelled with agitation. "If any of us had been further away there no telling what he-"

"Don't lecture me, Rafael." You state coldly, smoothing out and readjusting your dress. He opened his mouth, a quick witted retort on his lips, but turns and bites his lip instead. He taps his foot on the floor in agitation. He turns to you again, his finger raised to scold you anyway but is interrupted by Olivia as she approaches.

"Great work y/n. We got the bastard now." Olivia smiles at you. "You okay? Need a medic?"

"Naw, I'm alright." You say, seeing the agitation rise in the ADA.

"Liv, can I have a word with you?" he grumbles his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"About the case? What's to talk about, thanks to y/n we got you a solid win."

You notice he's still tapping his foot. "I don't like putting people's lives at risk just for a damned confession. My case was solid without it."

"Y/n was never in any danger, the whole place was covered with undercover cops."

"Don't ever use anyone else in such a haphazard manner to get a collar for me, Liv." he almost growls at her.

Olivia open and shuts her mouth taken aback by his harsh words. "Last time I checked I didn't report to you, Barba. Don't tell me how to manage my team. They did a good job tonight. Y/n put a man behind bars, he wont ever hurt anyone ever again, because she did her job. A job she volunteered for."

Barba bites his lip again and admits defeat. "Fine. I'll arraign him in two days. Get everything in order."

"Of course, Counselor." Olivia says dryly. She turns to you. "Go home... You've been at it for 36 hours. Do your paperwork first thing in the morning."

You nod and take your leave. You head to collect your coat, and see Barba doing the same. He hands the man his ticket and slips his overcoat on as you approach. He stands aside and let's you collect your things. You glance over at him. He's still visibly mad; his jaw clenched and hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Goodnight, Councilor." You mutter walking past him. You decide to take the back door, out through the gardens to avoid any press that might have gathered out front. You open the door and shiver at the crisp night air. You hope to yourself that you can easily hail a taxi, your dress doesn't accommodate for the cool weather.

"Y/n..." you hear your name being called. You know its Rafael. You sigh and turn to him. "Let me take you home." He states at your side, offering his arm to you. You take it hesitantly, not sure why he made the offer but you're exhausted and didn't have your own car to drive home. You walk with him, enjoying the warmth of his body beside you in the cool night air.

"What you did tonight… it took guts." He says as you meander through the garden, you avoid eye contact with the man beside you. "Not every cop would do what you did… and to get a solid confession, too. You never cease to amazing me, Carino."

A slight smile crosses your features at the endearment. You're at the sidewalk before you can think of a reply..

"I'll go get the car." He states as he slips his arm from your grasp. He walks briskly to the parking lot at the end of the street. You watch him as he goes, admiring his form. He looks handsome in his tux, satin lapels and matching bow tie. You divert your eyes and push the thoughts away.

They had become more frequent, your thoughts of the ADA, and so had his terms of endearment for you. It began with meeting for coffee to discuss a case, he found out you were studying law in your free time and offered to help when you needed it. He'd bring you coffee when he came to the station or meet you for a drink after a case was won or lost.. He began to call you Carino or Querido. You didn't know if he meant anything by it or if it was a Freudian slip. But you liked it, nonetheless.

He returned with the car while you were lost in thought. He had gotten out and opened the door for you before you could move. You give him a soft smile and slide into the leather seat of his BMW. You notice the soft sound of a Tchaikovsky waltz on the radio. The corners of your lips upturn into a smile, you never took the man for a classical music fan.

You glance over to see him loosen the knot of his tie and attempt to remove his tux jacket. He grunts as he struggles with the sleeve while he drives. You reach over and help him slide out of the tailored jacket. He leans forward in the seat so you can pull the jacket out from behind him and into your lap.

"Thank you, Querido."

Another endearment. You blush and turn away trying to hide it from him. You had only ever heard him talk to his mother and grandmother with such terms. He never showed anyone else such attention either. You tell yourself that it means nothing and push the thought away again. You steal one last glance to see him struggling with the top button of his shirt. You sigh and push his hand aside as you unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt. You decide to slip his tie off while you're at it, knowing he preferred not to wear one when he wasn't working. You untie the knot and let your fingertips brush over the bare skin of his chest as you take the tie and drop it into your lap.

You fold your hands neatly into your lap and look out the window. You lose yourself in your thoughts again. Thoughts of the handsome man beside you then repulsive thoughts of the perp you collared earlier.

Barba's hand grazes your knee and brings you back to reality. "Carino…Y/n, you okay?"

"Hmmm, oh, yeah sorry. I'm fine."

"Did you hear what I said?"

You shake your head and rub your eyes. "I'm sorry Rafi, it's been a long day." You look away quickly realizing you called him Rafi instead of Rafael. "What was it you wanted?" You continue, hoping he wont notice the slip.

He sighes and shifts in his seat. "I said that I was sorry for how I acted earlier." His hand is still on your knee; Its warm and feels natural for it to be there. "I… I let my emotions get the better of me. I'm sorry."

You nod your head taking in his words, wondering to yourself if there was a hidden meaning behind them. "And I'm sorry we didn't tell you the plan before hand. It just needed to seem real so he'd take the bait."

"And take the bait meant egging him on to attack you?" he asked as his hand squeezed your knee slightly.

"I know you don't agree with my actions, but I did what I had to do to get that man off the streets. It's our jobs to protect the people." You say covering his hand with yours.

His mouth opened and closed again. He sighed and bit his lip before saying. "I just don't like the idea of putting you in harm's way, is all." He pauses a moment. You try and think of something to say to him, not entirely certain if his words mean more or not, if he means you specifically. "I.. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you just so I could have an easier case to try, Carino." He says squeezing your knee again.

You sigh and hang your head, feeling guilty and realizing he truly cares about your wellbeing.

"I'm sorry, Rafael." You whisper, pulling your hand away from his, suddenly unsure if it was appropriate. He sighs and removes his hand from your knee. You drive in silence for a ways. You feel horrible for making him worry about you, romantic feelings or not.

"Listen," he breaks the silence and returns his hand to your leg. "I… I know you must be exhausted…but… I thought maybe… maybe you'd like to swing by my place for a drink?"

You take a moment to process his words. You know you're beyond exhausted but the idea of spending more time with him is too alluring.

"I…" You start searching for the words you want to use, wanting to make sure you say the right thing. something not too transparent. He sighs after a few seconds and pulls his hand away. You grab his hand before he can move it too far away.

"I'd like that actually… If you haven't changed your mind, that is…" You state releasing his hand suddenly afraid you've overstepped.

Barba gives you a charming smile and returns his hand to your leg. "Querido, I'd never pass up a chance to spend time with you." You blush and smile back softly. You feel your stomach flip as he moves his hand higher up on your thigh. He let's his hand rest there for a moment testing the waters, making sure his actions were accepted. He began to rub his thumb in small circles along your skin. It sparks a fire in your loins and sends chills down your spine; it covers you in goosebumps. He smirks at the effect it has on you. You bite your lip and hope that he wants you as much as you do him.

He pulls into his parking spot and opens the door for you again, offering his hand to help you out. You take his hand and pull yourself out of the car, his tie and jacket draped over your arm. You fall into his chest as your heel gets caught on his jacket. You shift in his arms, trying to right yourself but he hold you to his chest. You allow him to hold you, taking in his tantalizing scent; its musky, earthy, with hints of citrus and mixed with the scotch on his breath. He strokes you hair before helping you right yourself.

"Come on, Mi Amor, its cold out. Lets get inside." He says slipping his arm into yours as he escorts you to his apartment. You feel the blood rush to your face as you realize he called you "my love". You stand aside as he opens the door to his apartment. You've never been there and are surprised by its size. Its large with an open floor plan. A living area spans the entryway, with a kitchen in the middle, and on either side of it a dining area and a study. You spot a door off the study, you assume its his bedroom.

He tosses his coat onto the sofa as he makes his way to the study. He grabs a bottle of what you know has to be his favorite scotch. He looks back over his should at you as you dump his jacket and tie onto the couch with his overcoat. He pours you a glass of wine, knowing your preference from memory. You take the glass with a nod and gaze out the window, taking in the view he had of central park.

"It's beautiful." You say, taking a sip of wine.

"Eres hermosa." He whispers from behind you. You smile over your glass as you turn to him.

"You know very well my Spanish isn't as good as it used to be."

"Dije que, eres hermosa." He says sitting his glass of scotch down on the liquor bar, giving you a crooked grin.

"Please, don't tease me Rafi. I feel bad enough already that I don't know some of the things you say to me." You say turning away from him, your mood shifting. You hear him sigh.

He wraps his arms around your waist and whispers into your ear. "I said, you're beautiful." His lips brush against your skin and you shiver against him. He takes the glass from your hands and sits it on the windowsill. He turns your body to face him, his hands sliding across your abdomen coming to rest on your hips. You rest your hands on his broad chest, you feel your throat constrict at his intimate gesture. You stare at him, analyzing him and silently begging him to kiss you. You lean in towards him, your eyes moving to his lips; they shine in the dim light, remnants of scotch still on them. He pulls you to him and kisses you softly, shifting his hand up to cradle your cheek as he kisses you. You kiss him back, your fingers twisting into the material of his shirt. He pulls away after what feels like hours and gazes at you with soft passionate eyes.

He presses you up against the wall and dips his head down to nuzzle your neck. "Mi Amor." He breaths huskily against your skin as he trails kisses along your bared neck. A soft moan escapes you lips. You press your body against him more and snake your hands up his chest, around his neck and into his hair. He trails kisses up your neck and along your jaw as his hands begin to explore your body. He slips his hands down to squeeze your ass before lifting you around his waist and placing you on the edge of his desk. He pulls back from his passionate attack of your body to look you in the eye. He cups your face in his hand and thumbs over your bottom lip.

"Rafi..." You whisper sliding your hands into his opening of his shirt, running your hands over his bare skin. He dips his lips back down to yours. His lips are soft and taste of top shelf scotch. You kiss him back moaning softly as he pulls your hips against him. He kisses you gently at first, then more passionately. He runs his tongue over your bottom lip, and nips a it lightly with his teeth. You arch your back, pressing your body against him more, another moan escaping your lips. He takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue darting in to brush against yours. He cradles your head with one hand while the other caresses your breast, thumbing over your hardening nipple. You rock your hips against him willing him to take you then and there.

Barba pulls away and kisses down our jawline to your ear. "Te necesito, Mi Amor. Se mio esta noche." He breaths into your ear. You moan lightly as your eyes roll backward at the sensations he's making you feel.

"I only got part of that, but whatever it was, it sounded incredibly sexy." you chuckle into his ear.

"Pardoname, Camino." He said kissing you again. "You have this effect on me, to where I can't think straight. " he says kissing your bared neck. "I need you, Y/n. Te quiero. I want you." He breaths against your skin.

You reach into your memory searching for the correct words to use. "Yo tambien te quiero." You know you've said the right words when he smiles down at you and pulls you into another passionate kiss. He reaches behind you and pushes his papers and books from the surface of the desk. He eases you down onto the flat surface and pauses to admire your form. He runs his hands over every curve before leaning down to leave trails of kisses across the tops of your breasts. He slips his hand up under the hem of your dress and rubs his thumb in small circles against your inner thigh. You whimper as he teases you, gazing down at him with want as he kisses the exposed parts of your breasts.

"Rafi..." You whisper lifting your hips up to him. He groans and presses his erection against you. He wraps his arms around your raised hips and slides you off the desk and around his waist. He lifts you up and carries you into the bedroom, kissing you along the way. He lays gently lays you down on the bed and straightens back up to remove his clothes, he slips off his shoes as you raise to meet him. You scoot towards him and sit on the edge of the bed. You slide the suspenders off his shoulders before slowly unbuttoning his vest and shirt. You suck in a deep breath at the sight of him. He's more muscular than you imagined; his stomach taught with strong abs and his chest peppered with greying hair that led to a happy trail below. You trace his muscles with your fingertips. He groans and rolls his eyes back as you explore his body.

"Tu turno, Mi Amor. I want to see all of you."

You stand before him and turn, pulling your hair forward allowing him access to the zipper of your dress. Suddenly you're struck with a sense of dread, you don't know how he will react to your bare body. He pulls the zipper down slowly, running his fingertip along your spin as he did so. You shiver at his caress. He lets your dress fall in a puddle at your feet, leaving you in naught but your lacey black panties. You stand with your back to him, arms covering your breast, uncertain of your body.

He sighs at the sight of you. You swallow hard and look away, your back still to him.

"Eres hermosa... You're beautiful, Y/n."

You bite your lip still unsure you want him to see you.

"Why are you hiding yourself from me?" He asks softly, caressing your cheek. You shy away from him, your mood completely shifted. He sighs. "You're having second thoughts now..." He sits down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. "Lo siento, y/n. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's not that Rafi... I... I..." you shake your head. "I guess it's just been a while for me... I'm just unsure of my body... I..."

He looks up at you, his mouth opens to speak but closes as you drop your arms before him.

Rafael Barba looks you up and down, he sighs before pulling you into his lap. He kisses you softly before rolling you underneath him on the bed. He trails kisses over your abdomen, tears well up in your eyes. He makes his way back up your body, back to your lips. He kisses you sweetly, tenderly.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." He takes your hand in his, laces your fingers together and runs them over your body. "These are a testament to your strength. If you ask me it only adds to your beauty." You bite your lip as he runs your interlaced hands over you scars. He cradles your cheek and thumbs away your tears. "Mi Amor, I'm sorry." You roll onto your side and into his chest. He holds you while you cry. He kisses your forehead and strokes your hair.

Moments pass as you regain your composure, your tears dry up and you mutter. "I'm sorry."

"Perdon por que? You have nothing to apologize for, Carino. Nada." He says turning your chin up to him.

"I didn't mean to ruin your night. I-"

"Shh. Shh. You in no way ruined my night, Mi Amor." He sooths you. "I'm laying here with the woman I love in my arms. I couldn't ask for more. Just wish you'd stop feeling down about yourself. You're gorgeous, eres hermosa." He smiles down at you. You sigh and press your forehead to his chest.

"No one at work knows… beside Liv."

"What… What happened, Mi Amor?" he asked trailing kisses down your neck, brushing your hair behind your ear. You allow him to comfort you. You welcome it, you need it.

"I was in the FBI before I joined SVU."

He nodded remembering the conservation you had shared months before about your time in the Bureau.

"My last case, we caught a serial rapist, murderer. My mentor, John, he had studied this particular perp for years before we finally got close enough to make a move. We set a trap, cornered him…" you could see the cogs turning as the councilor narrowed down who you could be referring to.

"Ross… Richard Ross."

You nod your head and shiver at the name. "I got sloppy. I was a newbie, I… I…" You shake your head and sigh. "I moved in without waiting for backup. I took the first chance I could to free the girl he had. But that's what he wanted. He was on me before I realized it." You let out a ragged breath and run your fingers through the hair on his chest, trying to ground yourself. "John took a bullet trying to rescue me." You bite your lip trying not to cry. "He was able to distract Ross long enough for back up to arrive. Then the bastard just gave himself up. Laughed like it was a game." You felt the tears welling up again. "John recovered but retired afterward. He realized his life wasn't with losing with a wife and kid at home…I left shortly after that."

"That's why you joined SVU."

You nod your head against his chest, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Y/n… did… did he…"

You know what he's asking. You swallow hard and nod again. You feel the tears begin to fall and pull yourself to Rafael's body. He holds your form to his, running his fingers through your hair.

"Mi Amor, I'm sorry. I shouldn't has asked, I-"

"No, I should have told you before." You shake your head and wipe tears away with the back of your hand. "I just thought… I thought I was over it… it's been over a year and I haven't been with anyone since…him." You shake your head and let out another ragged breath. You feel Rafael's fingers still stroking your hair. "I…Iwant you Rafi. I want to be with you. I just don't know how… Earlier, I was caught up in the moment, I felt alive again, but when… I knew you'd see and ask… I just kept hearing him over and over...how he'd make sure no man would ever want me again, how -"

"Shh…Y/n.. I can't imagine how you feel or understand hat you've been thought but you have nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of… these" he says running his hand over the scars on your breast and stomach "just show how strong of a woman you are. And I'd still love you, with or without them, Mi Amor."

You turn your eyes up to his. He cradles your cheek and kisses away your tears. You turn your cheek to meet his lips with yours. He's gentle with you. He doesn't caress you as he did before, now his hands are more gentle, less frenzied. He comforts you, loving you and your body. He isn't forceful, his goal isn't sex anymore, but you still want him. He's accepted you and your flawed body. You pull away from him and look him in the eye.

"Thank you Rafael. For listening, for being patient with me, for-"

"Shh." He presses his lips to yours in a simple quick kiss. "You never have to thank me for caring about you." You nuzzle against him, happy that's he's kind and considerate. He kisses the top of you head before moving across the room to his closet. He pulls out a grey tshirt with a Harvard logo on it and brings it to you. He pulls you upright and slips it on over your head. He pulls down the covers and picks you up into his arms. You let him slip you under the covers and watch as he undoes his pants, letting them fall to the floor before kicking them aside. He slides into the bed beside you and wraps his arms around you melding his body to yours.

"How bout we just lay here together tonight? Maybe it's for the best anyway. We can go slow and steady… I don't want to fuck this up. I want you, y/n. All of you. And that means I want more than just a list filled night.. I don't have to have sex with you to be happy, Mi Amor. Don't get me wrong, I want to make love to you, more than anything… but not until you're ready and certain that it's what you want."

You twist around in his grasp and wrap your arms around him and nod. "Thank you so much, Rafi."

"Te amo mucho, Carino."

"I…I love you too Rafael. I think I have for a while now."

He smiles down at you and kisses you passionately. The taste of scotch has almost faded from his lips.

"Now get some rest, Mi Amor." He whispers as he nuzzles your neck. You sigh, perfectly content with the moment. You're happy to finally know how he feels. You're happy to have unburdened yourself to him. You're happy that you no longer have to be ashamed of your body and your past. You're happy to fall asleep in Rafael Barba's strong arms, knowing that when you awake he will still be there loving you unconditionally.