I don't own Twilight
JPOV
Just another typical day in the life of another typical female werewolf - sorry, shape-shifter. But today I was with her. I must admit how interesting her reactions to certain people were.
She smiled brightly at me when she opened the door.
"Hey, whatcha doin'?" She asked me.
"I came to observe." I replied, pulling her close, then kissing her feverishly. She responded by deepening the kiss.
After a few minutes she pulls back gently.
"Ok, Pretty Boy. What are observing, and why?"
"I will be observing you." Her eyebrow rose a little at that. "I have never seen you interact with others."
"Ok. But no talking or touching. You will distract me. Use your creepy vampiric voodoo powers to melt into the shadows." She says teasingly.
"As you wish."
I felt her mood improve with those words. I remember the time she forced me, my family, and all of her Pack brothers to watch that movie. Even the Uley Pack. All the girls in the room had felt wishful for a relationship like that. Even the ones that already did. From then on, every male that watched "The Princess Bride" used those words for brownie points. I said them because Leah liked it.
I followed her to the kitchen, and tried to take up as little space as I could. Leah began making a large amount of food. Including lots of toast (Practically burnt), strawberries, a tall glass of orange juice, lots and lots of chocolate pancakes, a glass of water, a banana, a whole pack of cinnamon rolls, bacon, eggs, an omelet, sausage, bagels, English muffins, waffles, apple juice, tea, sweet tea, hash browns, grits, oatmeal, biscuits, and more that I can't even name.
Within minutes after all the food was made, Seth appeared. Leah handed him the plate of toast, strawberries, orange juice, and one of the more well done bagels.
"Hey, sis."
"Hey, little bro. When does your patrol start?"
"In an hour." He says, and then proceeds to eat half of the meal Leah had made.
"You have school today!" Leah scolds.
"But Leah-"
"No buts. You will go to school. I will patrol. Period. Got it?"
"Yes Leah." I resist laughing, she sounds like a mother.
After he finished eating, Leah steals the plate, and starts washing the dishes.
As Seth pulls out of the driveway, I hear more footsteps.
"Don't worry it's only Jake." I marvel at how easily she can read me.
"Hey, Leah. Do you have any- Thanks." He says as Leah hands him all of the chocolate pancakes, the banana, and the water.
"Mmmh. Stop giving Seth patrols that can interfere with his school schedule."
"But Seth asks-"
"I don't care. Stop letting him control you. He is in his Junior year! He just wants to get out of it. Now off to school you go." She says, glaring at him, then pushing him out the door.
Ha. She was just telling Jacob to stop getting pushed around by Seth, and here she is, pushing Jacob-
"Stop judging."
"I didn't say anything."
" You were thinking it."
With that I just shrug. No use lying. I hear Paul come in.
"Carl! What on earth was all that?" Asks Paul. Who is he talking to? (A/N This conversation is property of the people who wrote Llamas With Hats 2)
"I'm not sure what you're referring to." Replies Leah with a small smile.
"You sunk an entire cruise ship, Carl!" Paul says, making Leah's smile wider.
"Are you sure that was me? I, I would think I'd remember something like that." Leah says. Paul snickers, entering the room as he snags the cinnamon rolls and apple juice
"Carl, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face!"
"That sounds dangerous."
"You were headbutting children off the ship!"
"That, uh... that must've been horrifying to watch!"
"Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!"
"Well, thank God that the children weren't on board to see it."
"Uhh.. Carl why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?"
"Well I guess you could say it is red and sticky."
"Caaarl, what are we standing in?"
"Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?"
"No! I would not believe that!"
"Uhh, melted gumdrops?"
"No"
"Boat nectar?"
"No."
"Some of God's tears?"
"Tell me the truth Carl."
"Fine. - It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B."
"CAAARL!"
"Well they were, uh, they were taking all the croissant rolls."
"I can't believe what I'm hearing!"
"I will not apologize for art."
"Where are the other lifeboats?"
"Whoa! You won the prize, I didn't even notice that."
"Where are the other lifeboats, Carl?"
"Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean. I bit lots of holes in them."
"CARL!"
"I have a problem. I have a serious problem."
"You are just, terrible today!"
"Shhh! D'you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness."
"That's the sound of people drowning Carl."
"That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence." Leah said, with an air completion. They bursted out laughing.
I still don't know what's going on.
Paul left, and Leah added more dishes to the dishwater.
"Hurry up, Jared! You know your not going to scare me! I could smell you a mile away!" Leah yells, hurting my eardrums.
Jared rushes up to Leah and hugs her.
"How'dya know?"
"You make to much noise." She says, giving him the plate of bacon and eggs without looking at it. "How's Kim?"
"She got a little upset when I forgot our anniversary." Jared replies sheepishly. Leah whacks him upside the head. "OW! Leah you hit hard."
"I Had to do it."
"Why?"
"Because Kim certainly didn't. Buy her flowers and chocolate. And a pretty, shiny new necklace. Or I'll come to Kim's house and tell her how to get revenge on you." Leah says, making Jared go a little pale.
"Yes, Ma'am." He says, giving his empty plate to Leah.
There was about a five minute respite until Embry came in, grabbing the omelet, waffles, and sweet tea.
He eats it all quickly, and practically jumps out of his chair.
"Embry Call. Get you butt back in that chair!" Leah demands, and Embry swiftly obeys.
"Yes, Leah?" He says in a small voice. Leah's features soften.
"Now I know you're busy, but you have to improve your grades in Math and History. Think about it. Paul doesn't have a High School Degree. Sam does. The Ateara Mechanics's hired Sam. They hired him because if his High School Diploma."
"I'll try, Leah."
"That's all I'm asking."
Quil entered as Embry exited.
"Good morning, Leah."
"Good morning, Quil." She says, softly placing a bowel of oatmeal in front of him. And he ate in companionable silence, with Leah softly humming in front of him. Then placed his dish in the sink after carefully washing it off.
Leah smiles, then I hear Brady and Collin come in and sit down at the bar in the kitchen. Leah piles the rest of the food on two plates, all except the sausages. She goes behind them and sets down the plates in front of them, dropping a kiss on each of their heads. I feel how happy they are to be here, and to have attention from Leah, and I feel her contentment.
"How is school?" Leah asks.
"Haribe- fwader, ap neater, en fidds."
"You get used to the water, I promise. Crap Teachers are teachers, and be happy to have them. What mean kids? Want me to beat them up?"
How did she understand what they were saying?!
"Thanks, Leah. Can I have lunch money? I ran out and Mom got mad at me when I asked." Collin said.
"Course! How much do you need?"
"10 dollars? I don't want to ask tomorrow." She pulls out a ten. I look, and see no other bills in her wallet. 'She's giving to much.'
"Bye Leah!" Shouts Brady.
"Bye Leah!" Shouts Collin.
"Bye Collin, Brady!" She shouts right back.
All the sudden her features harden.
"Sam's here." She says, picks up the sausages, puts them on a plate, walks outside and puts the plate on the steps outside, then walks right back in.
She smiles at me and walks to the fridge. 'Finally! She will eat.' She pulls out... yogurt.
"Relax." She says. I sit down and pull her down with me, so that she's sitting in my lap, eating her yogurt.
A normal day in the life of a female shape-shifter. Yup, normal.