This is a new one for the Ashido & Rukia fans out there...I am one of them...=) And this pairing is so neglected in the fanfic realm haha...
This is also a peace offering for the viewers who have been waiting so patiently for the fanfic, "More Than Scars" Enjoy...
"Can you hear me?" a voice called out, wavering into his unconscious mind, echoing loudly but the words didn't make sense to him; as if it was in another language or at a frequency he couldn't make out. He felt like he was floating, like he was no longer flesh but particles of gas. The warming and tingling sensation around him made him feel like those lost particles were coming home again, joining the mass of gas that was his body. His wounds were closing, his injuries seeming to disappear into the air above him, along with all the pain that came with it, it felt like heaven…he felt completely serene.
He wondered if he was dreaming, was he dead? Was he now being reincarnated or transferred to some other dimension, he didn't really know.
The last thing he could recall was fending off the enemies, yelling at that Kuchiki girl to run as the ground seemed to decay and collapse into itself, taking him and his friends' graves with it. Yes, he remembered perfectly now, Rukia…he had sensed she made it out alright, which brought true meaning to his actions, he fully intended to save her, to be able to save the way he hadn't been able to do for his friends so many years ago.
"Ashido-kun, can you hear me?" The feminine voice called out, he couldn't make out who she was, her presence and spiritual energy was unfamiliar to him, who was this person? What was going on?
And as quickly as her voice drifted to him, the feeling of floating ceased, he was now aware he was blood and flesh and bones again, he was whole again, he was…alive? But how could that be possible? Hadn't he felt the stones crush him? Hadn't he felt his bones break as he coughed up blood? Hadn't he felt the oxygen flow stop as his crushed lungs gasped for breath? Hadn't he felt darkness overwhelm him and take him? Its cold yet welcoming grasp beckoning him away from the unbearable pain. Away from the emotionally painful sight of the head stones of his fallen comrades being swallowed and digested into the mouth of the shaking and hungry cave.
He had been saved, somehow.
He wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to look into the face of the stranger who fixed his broken body, but part of him was convinced he was dreaming.
Than, a familiar and welcoming voice called out to him, wiping all the fear from his mind, the voice it…was hers.
"Ashido!" She called out again, this time he could feel her small hand grip his hand briefly, his eyes snapped open, he wanted to make damn sure that this time, he wasn't dreaming.
He blinked out the blurriness from his eyes, the light piercing through not helping at all either, as he could only make out the contours of the small form kneeling to his side.
Fighting away the sensitivity to light and the blurriness, Ashido blinked rapidly before his eyes cleared the sight before him; like a curtain that once shielded the stage stubbornly, now slid away. The image of the small raven-haired shinigami clouded his mind…Rukia. She had survived and looked like she had just been healed herself, he was glad to see her…more than he thought he would be.
Rukia graced him with a small smile, squeezing his hand before drawing both hers into her lap once more, looking down at the man who was just stepping into consciousness.
"I'm glad you're alive, ashido…" Rukia admitted, her hair shielding her face from his view, but he could sense the quiver in her voice and saw the way her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists tightly on her lap.
"Don't you ever do anything like that ever again…there was no need to sacrifice yourself, you idiot…especially not on my account!" Rukia scolded him, her heated gaze meeting him own, he was actually surprised that the first thing she did, instead of thanking him was yelling at him.
"And…" she began, gathering her courage, "Thank you."
Ashido smiled up at her, before closing his eyes lazily.
"Don't thank me; it's my job, right? That's what we shinigami do…we sacrifice our lives for the sake of others…I couldn't save my friends, hell if I would let you suffer the same fate as them." He admitted in angst, his eyes avoiding hers.
"I wasn't worthy of your sacrifice." Rukia said, looking down at him.
"It's not your place to decide whether or not you were, it was mine." Ashido informed her, searching her eyes with his cold stare.
He then turned his attention to the scene around him, men and women clad in shinigami clothing were scrambling around, healing the wounded and visiting and conversing with loved ones, ones they probably thought they'd lost forever. A war had just gone on here, and he had absolutely no part of it…he knew nothing of it or why there was one in the first place. Rukia hadn't told him actual facts during their conversation in the menos forest, she vaguely told him there was a problem and soul society is vulnerable, but hope was not to be lost.
The only hope he'd felt in a long time was the minute his eyes landed on another shinigami, Rukia…he never thought he'd see another one in hueco mundo ever again…he was content with living his life of eternal justice and debt he owned to his friends, never once thinking of leaving or asking for assistance. But, though he didn't exactly know why himself, hope was the first feeling he got when he saw her standing against the enemies, clad in her shinigami robes, prepared to fight the age old battle between shinigami and hollow once more.
He figured it was because until she came, he knew nothing but silence and fighting, and in she came…demanding to know who he was, why he was there, what squad he was from and why he was alone. He didn't know why he immediately trusted this girl; this girl who just so happened to appear in the same place where he hunted down hollows for justice. Maybe it was the loneliness of the graves he returned to every night, the despair of complete silence from his comrades, whose voices he would never hear again…and the first voice he heard in a long long time happened to be hers, all soft yet demanding and strong. She really was a strange one, he noted, glancing up at rukia once more as she sat in silence before him. She had a lot of courage, she kinda talked like a man, almost, yet he could see she was suffering deep down inside, she had little to no self worth and she figured that, whatever had made her this way, she would surly atone and pay for.
"Oh!" Rukia exclaimed, the thought just coming to her, "This is Orihime, Ashido, she healed you and saved your life," she explained. Until she mentioned it, Ashido completely forgot about the other presence on the other side of him, he peered to his right to see a red headed girl kneeling beside him, a blush spreading on her cheeks, "Uh, Nice to meet you, Ashido-kun." She bowed politely in her sitting position, he simply smiled back at her, "And nice to meet you, thanks for healing me…I appreciate it," Ashido said bluntly, keeping his face in a stern look though. He watched her scratch the back of her head in embarrassment, "Oh no, it was nothing…" she blushed. She's a human, yet she has such incredible powers…he noted, yet in fact, there were two other humans here, and that kid with the orange hair…he was dressed like a shinigami, but ashido sensed something strange about him as well.
"Rukia." A stoic man said, walking up to where they were sitting on the ground around Ashido. He noted that the man's face held no expression, he had a lot of power from what he could tell and the accessory in his hair told Ashido that this man was a noble.
"Your wounds have healed?" he questioned, ashido actually sensing some concern shining through his stoic face.
"Yes, nii-sama, you needn't worry, and you…what of your wounds?" Rukia asked, turning her head to face him, her eyes flickered with concern and care. Nii-sama? Had Rukia just called that noble her Nii-sama? That would mean, ashido realized, Rukia is a noble…ha, she sure as hell doesn't act like a noble. He recalled his days in soul society, before he ended up in this wasteland, to be forgotten and assumed as dead, that the nobles in soul society held prominent positions like captain ranks and their families influenced everyone a great deal. They had excess money to their names, making them believe it meant they were superior to everyone, with their snooty attitudes and their cold demeanors.
However, based on the way Rukia acted towards her 'Nii-sama,' he could sense they were simply putting fronts up, disguising their real feelings, trying to hide their concerns because it wasn't proper to fawn over or worry about each other in public.
"My wounds are healed." He stated, looking one last time at Rukia before he was called off by another shinigami, a young man with silver hair, but clad in a captain's robe like the noble was.
Ashido exhaled loudly, gathering the strength inside of him as he sat up, Rukia and that Orihime girl supporting his back, telling him to be careful and all those kind of things.
"I'm fine." He said coldly, looking into the sky above him, everything felt so peaceful, how can it feel this peaceful in Hueco Mundo?
"You need time to recover." Rukia scorned, her hand gripping his shoulder, suggesting he lay back down again.
"I'm fine." Ashido repeated, watching Rukia sigh and remove her hand in defeat, which surprised him because he knew, from the little time he had with her, that she was usually stubborn. Silence enveloped the three as they sat in complete silence, a loud voice breaking that immediately, "Rukia!" the voice yelled, all three pairs of eyes snapped towards the running orange-haired boy, the strange one dressed like a soul reaper.
He ran quickly towards the three, kneeling beside Rukia and shooting her a concerned glance, "You shouldn't be up already, you need to rest," The boy insisted, Ashido could tell he cared deeply for her just by the look in his eyes at that moment.
"I'm fine, Ichigo." Rukia informed him, slightly annoyed, keeping her eyes closed.
Oh, now he remembers that name…she had mentioned that she came to hueco mundo with a group of friends; she usually referred to them all as 'Ichigo and the others.' He watched in silence with the red headed girl as the two began to bicker, raising their voices slightly and getting into each other's faces; their fighting attracted attention to them from all the people scattered around the area, the bickering couple didn't seem to notice.
"Well, baka! You were injured too, so take your own advice!" Rukia added with venom, ashido could feel the anger coming off her like waves.
Finally after another minute or so of that, a shingami with spiky red hair in the distance, talking to a group of shingamis, finally yelled, "Shut the hell up, you two! Give it a rest would ya?" His outburst made the bickering couple huff in anger and move away from each other.
Ashido analyzed the flustered couple as they turned their faces away from each other, but he noted that the one called 'Ichigo' glanced deeply at Rukia's face, his eyes softening, before turning away abruptly when she faced Ashido suddenly.
"Ashido…You should return back to your home, it's been many years since you've been at peace…many more since you've returned to soul society…" Rukia suggested, wiping all emotions from her face. Ashido sighed softly, looking down at his hands as he contemplated her words.
"Please, Ashido…you don't deserve this kind of suffering…Your friends wouldn't want this life for you, they wouldn't want you to carry this guil-"
"I know." Ashido interrupted, growing dreary at her observations, he knew his friends wouldn't want him to feel guilty about their deaths, they would want him to move on and to live a happy life, and he knew that. It just didn't stop him from feeling the way he did.
"But, returning to soul society?" Ashido questioned himself, looking around at the busy shinigami; he forgot what it was like being surrounded by them. Rukia nodded affirmably at him, smiling at him slightly, Ichigo simply stayed silent, watching Ashido's expression.
"…I don't know if I can…" Ashido admitted solemnly, glancing over at the hot sand that expanded all around him, the sun blaring down on his skin. Rukia nodded in understanding before turning to ichigo, "Hey, could you give us a moment?" she asked him nicely, to which ichigo nodded before walking away from the solemn couple. Standing to his wobbly feet, with the help of Rukia, Ashido walked with Rukia while they distanced themselves from the others. The two walked silently towards the unannounced destination, the collapsed grave of his friends. Sensing they were there, ashido paused, getting down on one knee as he slid his hand along the sand, as if mesmerizing the feel of it, the burial sight of his comrades. Snapped from his thoughts by a moving blur beside him, ashido glanced over to Rukia as she kneeled before the collapsed gravesite, closing her eyes briefly in prayer. Feeling sick to his stomach, Ashido clutched the sand beneath his hands…everything: his job, his friends, his pride…his life, everything was gone and he didn't know if he could regain his old life back. Not after what he's been through, years and years of complete solitude, the only person he could trust was himself, this girl…this girl named Rukia…she broke through his barriers and broke through his life.
He knew after years of loneliness and quiet, after hearing one voice, it would be hard to never hear it again. And he did miss shinigami life…he missed the camaraderie between him and others; he missed fighting along side people who would risk their lives for the greater good, for justice.
"I'm sorry." Rukia announced, keeping her eyes set on the sand in front of her, ashido studying her face. "I should've given you more time, instead of springing all of this on you like that. You need more time, it's your decision not mine, I'm sorry Ashido." She said, closing her eyes shut.
Ashido searched her face, "Its fine…." He assured her, Rukia turning her gaze to meet his own, "So…tell me everything I've missed." He said, making Rukia smile.
She told him everything, she told him about her mission in the world of the living, how she met Ichigo, how she transferred her powers and received a death sentence for it. She explained all about Urahara's experiment the Hougyoku, how he secretly placed it inside her body, how Aizen betrayed soul society and how he fooled everyone. All about her rescue, how she watched helplessly as aizen injured everyone, stealing the Hougyoku and leaving her seriously injured, ordering her death but her brother took the blow, leaving him seriously injured. Than, he watched as she hesitated to continue the story, no doubt leaving out personal details. Ashido couldn't help the state of shock he was in, all of this happened in the soul society? Just one man caused all that destruction and treason? Because of him, more and more hollows were beaming out of Hueco Mundo, more and more arrancars and espadas were being created…because of this sick man, Aizen?
Than, Rukia continued…telling him all about the chaos he left behind, how he abducted Orihime, the woman who had healed him, how he intended to use her powers to use the Hougyoku, how Rukia and her friends were ordered to not travel to Hueco Mundo, how they broke that rule, how they fought separately. Ashido noticed she didn't say anything about her fight, or her injuries that he knew had just been healed; he sensed earlier that she was close to death when he lay partially conscious in the collapsed sand. Ashido wouldn't ask her though, even though he wanted her to trust him and open up to him, he knew it was too soon for Rukia…the demons inside of her wouldn't let her rest, her head was hung low with shame for something that happened in her past…maybe something he would never know about, something she would probably never tell anyone.
Clutching the material on her thighs, Rukia sighed and finished her long story, taking a deep breath as she look upon Ashido who was shooting her a shocked expression.
"I know…it's a lot to take in…" she said, sighing once more as she traced patterns in the sand.
"A lot? I almost fell asleep…" he joked, but with a serious expression; nonetheless making a soft chuckle push past her lips.
"….It will only get better from now on…Soul Society will rebuild itself…" Rukia assured him, gripping the sand in her fist before letting it slide through the cracks of her slightly parted fingers. Ashido watched as grain after grain of sand slid down from her small hand like a coarse waterfall, leaving behind dust clouds.
"Of course it will." Ashido answered, "but, who will stay here?" he asked, looking at rukia as she caught his gaze with her own violent one.
"I'm sure squads will be sent out on missions, at least, just until the number of hollows and menos grandes die down, it shouldn't be too long of a threat." She stated a strand of hair sliding in her face when she glanced down at the sand, "You're not alone in this, Ashido…this isn't strictly your burden."
Ashido contemplated her words, they sent him at ease as his shoulders relaxed and a sigh escaped his lips.
"Okay," Ashido agreed, Rukia's head snapped in his direction.
"Okay?" she questioned, hoping he was agreeing to what she proposed.
"Yes, I'll return." He stated with a soft smile, directing it at the raven haired beauty beside him, her smile widening in triumph.
"So, if you have any further questions, don't feel ashamed to ask." Ukitake finished. Ashido nodded politely, before bowing with respect as the ill captain left the room, leaving him all alone in the captain's office, there to sort paperwork and deliver some documents throughout divisions. Since he arrived in the Soul Society, it exceeded his memory; it had been so long since he was cooped up indoors, so long since he was around people who weren't hollows. It was hard adjusting at first, everyone was close and people tended to hang around in tight knit groups, but the majority of the shinigamis welcomed him. It had been three weeks since he has been back, he was placed into the 13th squad, conveniently, Rukia's squad as well…but, they hadn't given him an official title yet, it was like he was interning, only he was getting paid a regular worker's salary. Though, he was used to solitary confinement and relying on himself to get things done, deep down he was grateful he worked in such close proximity to rukia…she introduced him to all the people he needed to know and briefed him on what to expect and how to act with each one of them…especially the strange captains.
She made the transition less painful, and he grew closer and closer to her, it seemed like they would open up to each other a little more each day. Ashido could blatantly tell that rukia was caring for him, helping him learn the new ways of the shinigamis that he was unfamiliar with, the laws that were placed since he left, the new layout of soul society…where his working quarters would be in proximity to his barracks and so on and so forth. He greatly appreciated her help, and couldn't express in words how much she changed him, changed his ways of thinking so greatly that he never thought were possible.
"Hello." Rukia said, sliding the door back as she stepped inside the office, where he was situated at the desk, organizing the papers by division number. His head snapped up when he heard her gentle voice, the smell of her filled the air, lavender and white roses. He smiled politely at the small girl, "Hey." He said, slapping the papers on the desk.
"Ukitake-taicho said you had a lot of work to do, I can help you if you want," she offered, glancing at the large stacks of papers that had to be filed and delivered.
"No, that's okay, I've got it…thanks though," he dismissed, scribbling reports down on the papers in front of him.
"But I want to." She admitted, blushing as she looked down at the ground.
Ashido chuckled, "Why? There's better ways to spend your time, don't worry about me, I know what I'm doing," he assured her, stamping a seal on the papers to verify its official content.
"You don't like when people help you do you?" she realized with a chuckle.
"Neither do you." He said, his eyes never leaving his work. Rukia blinked at the man before her, she had to admit he was right, she didn't like to be helped either…but when she was new to this division, the tiniest gestures of care helped her in the long run…and she simply wanted to help him. She often found herself worried about him when she was far from him, she just wanted to help him readjust, she knew it'd be painful and difficult and she wanted to ease his pain. He didn't deserve any more pain; he never did in the first place.
"Heh, I guess you're right…" Rukia concluded, finally, making Ashido glance at her briefly, before his attention turned once more to the paperwork that littered the desk. He knew Rukia worried immensely about his well being, but he didn't know how to prove to her that he would be fine…that he appreciated her help but he didn't need it anymore. Maybe, he had to admit to himself, it wasn't that he was afraid to tell her; it was that he didn't want to tell her. Deep down, he didn't want to loose her company, he liked being with her…she was so different from the others, so very different from all the girls he had known. Ashido watched as Rukia shrugged and sat down on the desk to his left that was facing him; she pulled out a sketchbook and started to doodle.
Looking at her carefree expression, ashido's mind wandered to the information about her that had clouded his mind, actually it was bothering him immensely. He had been in soul society for a good two months now, and he couldn't help but notice how malicious some of the shingami were, especially when his ears picked up the hissing whispers in the hall, Rukia's name seeming to flow like water from their big mouths. He'd heard every single rumor about her, every accusation and every little jealous comment from the masses, and when he walked nonchalantly down the halls, he couldn't help but clench his fists when he heard their gossiping. There were ones in particular that bugged him, one about her being adopted simply because she looked like her brother's late wife…that perturbed him greatly. They whispered about her having a torrid affair with her brother, about her 'sleeping' her way into early graduation…he remembers having to stop himself from pounding a man's face in when he heard his malicious comment of 'What a whore. I'm sure she fucks her brother every night, cause' there's no way a dirty bitch from Rukongai could become a noble without opening her legs…' Even thinking about the evil snickers the crowd around the man made, brought anger back into his being once more. He glanced at Rukia; she was smiling softly at her drawings of cute little bunnies all over the page. There's no way, he thought, how could people say such things of her? They obviously don't know her at all. Rukia was as innocent as they come, from what he could tell…
Ashido didn't understand why people were so malicious towards her…if they would just get to know her, they'd never say another word against her, ever. They should be bowing to her, kissing her damn feet for all they've put her through…how the whole population basically showed no care when she was sentenced to death, how they thought she deserved it, how they thought someone like her could never be worthy of being a noble, or a soul reaper at that. But, another rumor that bugged him more than the others was the one about her relationship with the late vice captain of the thirteenth division, Kaien Shiba. They said she loved him, that she had an affair with him…despite the fact that he was a married man, that she killed him. They didn't go into details about how, when, or why she killed him so he assumed it was just another vicious rumor; but, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder…
Did she really have an affair with her vice captain, was she the other woman?
Did she really kill him? Ashido studied Rukia's peaceful voice, watching as she colored in her drawings with precision and care. She lightly touched the marker to the paper, softly stroking the tip of color onto the surface.
"Hey, Rukia…" he spoke softly, searching for her gaze.
Rukia's head snapped up and she glanced at him with a curious gaze, her wide violent eyes shimmering, making Ashido's mouth go dry. He felt kind of ashamed to think that she owed him any kind of explanations, but that still didn't stop the curiosity that ran through his mind.
"Um, who's Kaien Shiba?" he questioned, feeling guilty when he watched her bite her lip and look down. "I hear a lot about him, that he was the late lieutenant of this squad…" he continued, trying to ease her solemn mood as she searched his face with her gaze.
"Yes, he was." She clarified with a small voice, making Ashido nod, "I see." He stated, "I'm sorry." He apologized in a genuine tone, catching her questioning gaze.
"Why's that?"
"It was not my place to ask, I can see you don't wish to talk about him, I'm sorry I put you in that position."
Rukia blinked, "But it is your place, he was the last lieutenant of this squad, it's only normal you know the history of the 13th division…I'm sorry I never told you of him."
Ashido furrowed her brows at her, "Don't apologize."
Rukia sighed, Ashido's eyes never leaving her tense form, "I see you've been listening to the rumors around here," she commented with a slight chuckle, her attention turning back to her sketches.
Ashido chuckled as well, surprised how intuitive this girl was, it was like she could read his mind. "It's kind of hard not to, why are people so vicious?"
"They don't mean anything by them, it's simply a way to pass time, they gossip about everyone here so it's not like I'm their number one target."
"Um, actually you kind of are…" Ashido announced, making rukia's gaze meet his own, "you're actually like all they talk about, but know this Rukia…they're just jealous."
Rukia laughed softly, "I don't think so, why would anyone be jealous of me?" she questioned, her eyes sparkling at the humor of the situation. Ashido sighed, she can't be serious, he thought it was pretty obvious to her that people were jealous, but Rukia's too humble, she has no self esteem and Ashido can see why, what with all the shit she has to go through on a daily basis.
"Well, Rukia…I've only been here for a short period of time and already I know basically every rumor that's been spread about you, people are jealous of you, obviously for a lot of reasons." Ashido verified, trying not to display any kind of emotion in his face.
Rukia felt perturbed by this; to think this whole time she's been with him he's been wondering if the rumors about her were true. He was no doubt analyzing her and questioning her virtue; what, with all those horrid rumors about her, she's heard them all…she felt absolutely mortified. And it showed on her face as her lower lip trembled and she swallowed back tears.
"Well," she started, voiding all emotions from herself, the way Byakuya had taught her, "Tell me what you've heard and I'll tell you the truth."
"That's not nece-"
"Ashido, just…please." Rukia interrupted. Oh, Ashido understands…it's about her pride and her image. She doesn't want him thinking such filth of her, especially if it was the furthest from the truth, he didn't blame her.
"Uh, there's one about you and your brother…they said that you only got adopted because you were involved with him…" Ashido began, feeling guilt build up in his chest, the pressure mounting atop his heart; he hated asking such things of her, like they could actually be true.
"That's gross. Byakuya is my brother and that is all…actually, I feel like I can tell you this, though no one else knows. When I was first adopted, I listened to the rumors about how I was only adopted into the kuchiki clan because I resembled Byakuya's late wife, Hisana, and I even saw a picture of her and for the longest time I believed it. Though, I knew his intentions were pure, I even believed the rumors until…he admitted to me that his late wife was actually my sister. She abandoned me in Rukongai when she crumbled under the pressure of raising me, and all her life she felt guilt about it, she searched for me everyday and on her death bed she asked Byakuya to promise to find me and to take care of me. So, he found me in the academy and adopted me as his sister…" Rukia finished, Ashido nodding at her explanation, he believed her completely; he could tell she was telling him the truth. He was not convinced by that story in the first place, but hearing the truth made him feel less perturbed by the rumors.
"I understand,"
"There's more, just tell me…" she urged with a sad smile as she glanced down at the floor between them, trying to calm her nerves and no doubt to prepare herself for the next rumor he would share with her.
"It's not appropriate to speak of the dearly departed."
"Kaien-dono?" she asked, he swallowed when he could see the sadness in her violet orbs, and he nodded at her guess. "Let me make this easier on you then," Rukia began, "Kaien…you see, I…I did kill him." She admitted in a low whisper, so low that Ashido had to lean into her direction to catch it. And he didn't believe it, what was she talking about? The Rukia he knew would never hurt anyone, let alone her own lieutenant, yet he watched her face, the way it displayed utter despair and guilt made his heart drop. He felt, not for the first time since he met her, to reach out to her, to hold her tightly in his arms and keep her safe from harm.
"His body was…taken over by some hollow, ukitake told me to run and I did. I don't know why I came back but…he impaled himself on my sword, and I…..I, killed him." She said solemnly, he watched as her eyes watered and she visibly choked on her own fading restraint.
"I'm sorry, Rukia." Ashido said, his deep light blue eyes pierced through her own violet ones.
Rukia drew in a deep, shaky breath, trying to compose herself and fight back the tears that threatened to fall. "Don't be." She said, running her hands through her hair, smoothing out the frantic locks. But she couldn't, she couldn't hold back those tears as they slipped from her watering eyes, trailing down the path of her pale and delicate cheek. Rukia let loose a soft sob, her whole body shaking as she covered her mouth with her hand, muffling her cries; leaping from her place at the desk. "I'm…sorry." She said, her words choked on the cry as well as being muffled by the hand that covered her mouth as she headed for the door. Ashido's heart dropped, he hated seeing Rukia like that. He knew she was a strong woman, one with convictions and an intense sense of justice, and seeing someone he cared for and admired break down made his heart crumble into tiny pieces in his chest. His body acted on his own as he stood to his feet, breaking into two long strides as his hand shot out, his fingers closing around Rukia's small wrist. Rukia refused to meet his gaze as his grip on her wrist tightened, his eyes searching her form with concern as she shook with soft cries.
"Rukia." He had said, her body standing rigid as she fell completely silent. But, the heat rose in her throat as the tears and cries built up once more, her composure waning. Ashido attempted to tug the crying girl to him, but she yanked away from his hold, but he refused to let go of her until he knew she'd be okay.
"Let go!" she squealed through hot tears, tugging away from his hold but he was too strong. Exasperated and completely dismantled, Rukia fell to the floor, her back slamming against the bottom of the desk as she pulled her knees up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them; burying her face into the curve of her knees. Ashido had released his hold on her wrist when he watched her body fall to the ground, he sat down to her right, his legs bent at the knees as he leaned towards her. His left hand rested on her back, rubbing up and down to console her as small sobs racked the small girl's body.
"I'm sorry…Ashido, I-" she said, her face still buried in her arms.
"It's okay Rukia, come here." Ashido said, pulling on her arm that was wrapped around her knees, tugging softly on it until he successfully pulled the girl between his legs. Rukia kept her head down as she buried her face into his chest, stifling her cries as they slipped from her lips; she was sitting on her knees between his legs, her hands grasping at the fabric on his chest. Ashido simply held the small girl to him, holding her in his arms as she cried; and Ashido was prepared to hold her to him as long as she needed. Truth be told, he never wanted to let go.
As she cried into his chest, Ashido waited patiently for the sorrow to leave her system, his hands gently caressing her back to sooth her. Rukia sniffled, regaining her composure as he large eyes blinked in confusion at the position they were in at the moment. Silence enveloped the two as Rukia buried her face into his chest further, swallowing down her pride as she took advantage of his comforting.
Ashido breathed in deeply, "Everyone has regrets Rukia." He began, Rukia's eyes opened as she glared at the darkness of his robes, the calming sound of his voice wafting over her. "It's what makes us who we are….Our scars that we carry everywhere…are etched into our souls…" he explained, "To deny their existence is to deny our true selves." Rukia closed her eyes briefly, her mind pondering over his words and their deep meanings.
"But, do you think he'd want you to feel this way?" He asked finally, the words seeping through her bones as she felt a shiver run up her spine. Ashido held his breath as he counted her steady ones, he could sense the emotions that swallowed her at the moment, could sense her hesitation.
Gathering her courage, Rukia unclenched her fists from the hold on his robes. Letting loose a shaky breath she lifted her head from his chest as she backed away from his presence slightly. She felt her cheeks heat up when his gaze shifted to her face, his gentle, understanding eyes lingered on her skin like light touches.
After slight movements, Rukia faced the man, her face close to his own as she fought the urge to run away from the mounting situation. But, she felt as if her heart dropped into her stomach at the thought of denying her feelings. Sitting on her knees, still between his, Rukia clenched at the fabric on her thighs with her white knuckles. Meeting his intense gaze, she felt a whirlpool of emotions devour her mind as she swallowed nervously.
"…No, he…Kaien, he…" she started, fumbling with the words as they slipped hesitantly from her lips. Opening her mouth once more, "Wouldn't want me to feel this much regret. But…" Ashido furrowed his brows at the timid girl before him. She looked so vulnerable sitting there with her eyes averted to the ground before they met his own once more.
"How? How am I supposed to forget about what I did? How can I convince myself to not feel guilt….When…When…" she tried, lifting her hands as she glanced down at her open palms. Ashido watched with heartache as the girl began to tremble, a tear slipping down the pale expanse of her cheek. "When I can still feel his blood on my hands?" she asked finally, the words slipping from her mouth like poison, each word striking him painfully as he watched her succumb to sorrow. But that moment only lasted a moment, as soon as the words left her soft lips he pulled her against him; his gentle grip on her arms as his lips captured her own. Rukia closed her eyes immediately, holding her breath as they kissed softly, their lips moving against one another's. After moments of it, Ashido pulled away, both drawing in shaky breaths as he opened his eyes to glance at the small girl. Her eyes remained closed as the silence enveloped them both; Ashido began to feel guilty for forcing himself on her like that.
He opened his mouth to speak, "Rukia, I-"
But, he was cut off by her soft lips against his own, muffling his apology as she began initiating the kiss this time. Ashido couldn't help but smirk against her lips as he cupped her face, his thumbs wiping tenderly at her cheeks; brushing away the trail of tears. He felt something in the kiss that he'd never felt before with other kisses he'd partaken in. A kind of jolt or shock of pleasure and a thump in his heart told him this is where he belonged. Maybe, it was fate that Rukia had been the one to stumble across his forest. Possibly, all the forces of the universe brought and delivered her to him. And that was the last thought he could grasp as his mind went blank; the feel of her soft lips against his own too much to comprehend. He'd never felt so overtaken by anyone before, so overwhelmed that he couldn't fight it even if he wanted to...
I feel as though I write my best when its about Ashido...I guess his character inspires me =)
So...what are your thoughts? Should I make this a two-shot?
Review please. Thank you =)