Feelings left unsaid
Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer If I was I would lots of money and not be posting .net.
Jacob and I have known each other since we where two years old. I loved him since I could remember. I have always kept my feelings to myself because I know he does not love me as I love him. Why is that you ask? Because he always been with Leah Clearwater. They are madly in love. . It makes me sad just thinking about what they have together. When I am with them, I just feel out of place. It is worse when they kiss or hold hands I just sit there and wish that I were her. I know that is sick but I just cannot help the way I feel.
"Bells" my dad Charlie said sitting in his in his favorite chair pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yea dad?" I said looking up at him.
"I was just thinking we should go up to Billy's to check on him," he said not looking in my eyes so I know there something is up.
"Dad what's up" I cocked my head to the side
"What do you mean?" Charlie said still not looking at me
"Dad I know you. You cannot lie to me. so tell me what's up" I said
"Okay, okay I will tell you. You just have to promise me something" he looked up at me then I just nodded "so Billy, Jake, and I our having a birthday party for you baby," he said now looking at his hands.
"Daddy I told you I did not want a party for my birthday" I whined "and I don't even have time to get ready. In addition, I do not have anything picked out. " he just smiled at me
"Yes you do." I gave him a worried look. "Valerie (dad's girlfriend) went and bought t you a dress and I think you going to love it"
"Okay where is it?" I said rolling my brown eyes.
"The dress in my room on the bed laid out for you. Hurry up we only have an hour," he said with a smile.
"Oh my god dad why did you not tell me sooner" I said running up the stairs to my dad's room.
One thing I can say about Valerie is that she knows what I like to wear. The dress was a dark blue tube top type dress with black leggings and a pair of dark blue almost black looking ballet slippers. My look was almost perfect. I just needed some earrings, a necklace, some makeup, and to fix my hair then my look will be perfect. When I finished getting dressed I put on my favorite blue diamond stud earrings, my pearl necklace The one my gage (grandma) got me for my 13th birthday. I did my makeup. I chose a dark blue smoky eye. I must say I looked hot. When I was done, I went down stairs t o see Valerie and my dad making out like two teenagers. I cleared my throut. They jumped like 10 feet in the air. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.
"Well Bells lets go. By the way you look stunning tonight." What was up with my dad? He never talks like this ever. I could see that Valerie was having a great influence on Charlie and I loved her even more for it.
Seeing those to together made my desire to be with Jake even worse I wished I were Leah Clearwater. This made me hate myself even more. I had never wished to be someone else in my life. I had always been comfortable with who I was as a person.
Do not get me wrong I am not one of those girls that dripped with confidence and entitlement. I am just not one of those girls that need someone else to give her self-esteem. I prided myself on that. With Jake it is different he is and always will be my weakness.
I checked myself one more time in the mirror. Then Dad, Valerie and I left to go to Billy's house. I did not know it then but my life was about to change in more ways then one.
A/N Yes Bella is way out of character. I like her better this way don't you. This fiction is co authored by my sister and I. she wrote most of the first chapter. Review for more loves.