"Name?"
"Remus Lupin."
Remus stood in front of the windowed counter at the Ministry Department of Unemployment, Underemployment and Proper Employment Placement. Since he had lost his last job two months ago he had had no luck securing another. After being turned down by too many prospective employers Remus had no choice but to turn to the Ministry of Magic and hope that they had some kind of job opening, any kind of job opening. He had bills to pay and needed a source of income as of yesterday.
"Age?"
The grumpy looking clerk behind the counter continued.
"Thirty-five."
Remus could hardly believe that at thirty-five years old he had never been able to hold down a job for more than two years. Over the last eighteen years since graduating from Hogwarts he had been employed fifteen different times, many of them having uncomfortably long spaces of unemployment between them. If it were not for that accursed law, he would not be in this most awkward of situations.
"Address?"
The clerk continued on filling out the form, asking the questions in the order they appeared on the paper.
"781 Maple Street."
Remus was painfully aware that he needed to pay his rent, buy groceries and spend money on a host of other things that are necessary for life. He was also painfully aware that he had no money to speak of in his bank account.
"Educational institution attended?"
The clerk's tone – a peculiar mix between cross and bored – indicated that they were obviously none too pleased with their job.
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
Remus really could not sympathize with the clerk, he would do almost anything for gainful employment, those who had a job had no right to complain.
"Career choice?"
The clerk continued on in their irritated-yet-dull monotone voice.
"What?" Said Remus.
"Career choice?" The clerk repeated, looking up.
Remus continued to give the clerk a quizzical look.
The clerk sighed as if the weight of the world were about to come crashing in.
"Career choice, what did you get career counseling on in your fifth year at Hogwarts? You know, you talk to the teacher and pick career like auror, curse breaker, house-elf trainer, that kind of thing."
Remus stared, baffled and a bit irritated that his career choice should even be relevant "That was twenty years ago!" He said brusquely, "I don't remember what I said back then, it was probably something stupid given that the fact I was fifteen at the time."
The clerk sighed grumpily. "I can't help it if you picked a bad career when you were fifteen, I just need something to fill in the space. So, if you can't remember, make something up!"
Remus thought for a moment then said, "Well, put down journalism then."
"Thank you." said the clerk in an exasperatedly frosty tone that still managed to maintain a sense of dullness.
"Employment history?"
The clerk accepted the sheaf of papers Remus handed through the window.
"That's all I've got."
The clerked flicked through the papers that detailed Remus' employment history; where, when and for how long he had been employed at a particular place was written at the top of each record. The clerk put Remus' employment history under the form currently being filled out and stapled the whole bunch together. Going back to the form the clerk continued.
"Reason for unemployment?"
"Uh, it was, uh," Remus cleared his throat. "Workplace incompatibilities."
The clerk looked up from the form and raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. When Remus didn't respond the clerk arched the eyebrow even higher and said, "And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" Remus suddenly felt put on the spot and very uncomfortable.
"Well," Remus started, "my employer felt that my coworkers wouldn't want to put up with me." Remus hoped he could dance around the issue without actually saying anything.
"Are you a trouble maker?" asked the clerk peering over the counter somewhat suspiciously.
"No," Remus replied quickly. The clerk leveled him with a look of high skepticism. Remus stammered as he attempted to explain. "I, uh, have a condition, you see, and, well, my employer, uh, knew about it, but, you see, one of my coworkers found out, and, uh, well, you see, it made them -" Remus tried to suppress a flash of anger. "-Uncomfortable, you know, and, well, my employer, uh, thought it would be better if he let me go." A second flash of anger surged through Remus. "You see, instead of waiting for the other employees to find out." Remus knew he sounded like a babbling idiot, but he was flustered and frustrated now. He could feel himself blushing to the roots of his hair as he blabbered out his response.
The clerk certainly looked grumpier than ever now. "What?" said the clerk, a hint of paranoia creeping into the edge of their voice. "You got leprosy, or billius, or something?" As the clerk said this their eyes darted to a box of sanitary wipes sitting on the other end of the counter.
Remus mused to himself that it was odd that the clerk would have so many non-magic accouterments, but then again, the clerk could be a muggle-born, it was often hard for muggle-borns to part with all of their muggle items.
"No," Remus said quickly, "nothing like that." He could feel himself getting hot under the collar. "Could you just tell me if you have any job openings?"
"'Workplace incompatibilities' it is then" said the clerk who scribbled that into the appropriate space. "I suppose if you have a 'condition' that your employer needs to know about you'll let them know as required by law." The clerk ended that sentence with a glare that was supposed to look menacing, but really only made them look even more grumpy.
"The jobs?" Remus prompted, hoping to get the get the clerk back on focus.
The clerk opened a file cabinet drawer and pulled out an enormously fat binder. Propping the binder on the counter the clerk began flipping through it to find the current job openings. "Well," the clerk said slowly, "we actually have quite a few jobs here, any preferences?"
"That it pays." Said Remus.
"I'll take that as a 'no.'" The clerk said, opening another drawer and pulling out applications that matched the job openings. After the clerk had assembled a sizable stack of applications Remus reached for them somewhat impatiently. The clerk stopped him saying, "Hang on a minute, I need to get a copy of your file from upstairs to finish off this form, then you can have the applications and go." The clerk then proceeded to write up a quick memo and send it to the appropriate office upstairs.
Remus waited, his impatience growing, he just wanted to take the applications and leave. This whole process was humiliating.
A memo came in return a moment later and a new message came in with it. The clerk opened the new message first, then the memo with Remus' personal file. Remus saw the clerks eyes widen as they came to the conspicuous note on the top page noting his "condition." The clerk stared at the note for a long minute, then glanced at Remus, then back at the note. The clerk took a deep breath then attached the new file to the other forms with a large, garishly red paperclip. Remus knew the jig was up, but tried to keep his composure.
The clerk cleared their throat noisily then looked at the other message again. After a moment a somewhat nasty look came over their face and the clerk pulled another application from the drawer. "Well," the clerk said, in a new voice that was a mix of nasty and grumpy. "Here's one more job opening. Hogwarts needs a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the last couple didn't have such a good time of it; one even died. And," The clerk's face twisted into an even nastier expression. "This should be a good fit for you; since you're a dark creature and all. You're final exam can be to see if your class can kill you."
Remus flushed, both angry and embarrassed he snatched the papers the clerk had prepared, including the Hogwarts application, and growled, "Mind your own business!" The clerk looked unsettled by Remus' outburst and didn't protest.
Remus took the papers and went into the hallway where a row of ugly and uncomfortable looking seats with small desks attached to the arms were settled against the wall. They seemed to be made of some type of hard red plastic that had certainly seen better days. Many of the seats were filled by people in a similar position, but Remus was certain that none of them were facing the challenges his condition brought. Taking a seat Remus dutifully filled out every application, even the one for Hogwarts, though of all the jobs that he was applying for that was the one he was most certain he would not get.
After the hand cramping tedium of filling out the pile of seemingly endless applications he returned to the windowed counter and handed his stack of papers back. The clerk took them cautiously and placed them in a box labeled 'outgoing'. "If you are not employed in two weeks come back here and we'll sign you up for unemployment benefits." the clerk said. "Though," the nasty tone crept back into the clerks voice. "You might as well sign up for unemployment now and skip the humiliation of applying for jobs, no one is going to hire a man in…" the clerk glanced Remus up and down "…your condition."
Remus felt the blood rush to his face with a fresh surge of anger, he bit his lip to prevent an untimely retort. His earlier anger had subsided for the most part, but the clerk's insinuation managed to provoke a new wave of hot irritation. Mostly, Remus reflected, because it was near that time of the month. He had faced this same situation so many times before it was really more of a routine than anything. However, he was always moodier around that time of the month; more aggressive than he was normally. Two weeks from now, he probably would not have even been irritated at the ridiculous little clerk, let alone snapped at them like he had earlier. He hated how trying his monthly cycle could be.
Remus paced nervously in his living room, it had been thirteen days since he had filled out all the applications from the unemployment office. He had applied to fifty-three different jobs and heard back from forty-nine of them. Of the forty-nine he had gotten ten interviews. The other thirty-nine had been outright rejections. All of the interviews had ended the same way; his interviewer would cautiously shake his hand and say, "Well, thank you for your interest, but I don't think you'd be suited to this job." Remus knew what they weren't saying, he was required by law to inform prospective employers of his "condition" and when they found out they wanted nothing to do with him. If he didn't tell them about his "condition" he was criminally liable. It wasn't worth the risk. As he was on record at the ministry he couldn't get away with it even if he wanted to.
An owl arrived around ten in the morning. Rejection.
Another owl came about noon. Another rejection.
Yet another owl arrived at one forty-three. Rejection once again.
Remus sighed exasperatedly, he might as well go the unemployment office now instead of torture himself waiting for the final rejection.
The last owl fluttered in at precisely two 'o clock, the last job reply attached to its leg. Remus hesitantly took the letter noticing the owl did not fly away immediately like almost all of the others had. Remus had a flash of hope that he might have one last interview. Carefully opening the letter Remus quickly read the few lines written in a familiar hand.
Dear Mr. Remus Lupin,
I was pleased to receive your application for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. After reviewing your information, I am honored to officially offer you the position of teacher here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In light of your condition I would like to meet with you and discuss options for managing it. I apologize for the lateness of this letter, but I had a severe accident involving my writing hand, a teakettle, labor negotiations, a strong crosswind and a particularly insensitive fairy and have only just recovered enough to write this. I hope to see you soon, and welcome back to Hogwarts.
Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore
Remus reread the letter three times before he was sure it said what he thought it did. Quickly he found a piece of parchment and dashed off a reply. Never in a million years had he thought that he would get a job at Hogwarts.