Painful memories at night - Clementine and Louis

by Ookami28

Louis sleeps next to Clementine at night to comfort her when her leg stump aches. Some of the others gets the wrong idea about what is going on. Clementine finds some of her thoughts questioned one night and reveals tragic memories from her travels to Louis. Warning: angsty talk and sexual content.

Clementine startled awake from a wincing pain somewhere below her and dazingly pulled at her blanket, feeling sweat protrude her skin and dampen her clothes. Her breath was agitated and she lifted a hand to wipe curled bangs from her forehead, jolting at how hot her skin was.

"Is it the leg again…?"

A guilty sigh escaped her lips, and Clementine turned her head to meet the worried eyes looking back at her. Louis shifted from lying on his back to face her, and placed a warm hand over her even warmer one.

"Yeah…." Clementine winced again at another jolt of pain erupting from her stump, and she reflexively returned Louis' handhold, grabbing him perhaps a bit too tight while waiting for the wave to pass. Releasing a held breath after it subsided, she realized her tight hold on him and let go, mumbling "I'm sorry" while closing her eyes and enjoying the relief of the pain temporarily subsiding.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Louis whispered, partly dazed himself from having been awakened by her pained grunts and twisting. "It's why I'm here, remember?"

He shifted close enough that their foreheads nearly touched and rested his hand on top of hers again, before closing his eyes and – somewhat guiltily knowing Clementine was in pain, enjoyed the feeling of her body so close to him, hoping it served as much comfort to her as it did to him. "Just… let it out on me… all you want." He whispered in even more of a daze as he was drifting off to sleep again, feeling beyond tired having hunted with Aasim and AJ for several hours the day before. Clementine felt his hold on her loosen, and sighed again as she observed his expression return to that of a sleeping one. Squeezing his hand, she felt the uncomfortable heat slowly leave her body, and she could pull the blanket back over their shoulders again. Feeling exhausted herself, she realized the pain seemed to have left for now, and slowly lifted a hand to grace Louis' cheek.

"Thank you…" she whispered. He wasn't responding anymore, and she turned her head the opposite direction to try and make out AJ's sleeping body in the dark. Slow breathing was all that came from the small silhouette on other side of the room. Clementine figured she hadn't woken the boy with her pained sounds, and let out another relieved sigh. Shifting over to her side to face AJ and try and reclaim her sleep, Clementine smiled faintly at the feeling of Louis' body against hers. She had never thought or particularly wanted to enjoy such small privileges the teenagers before their time had, but sharing a bed with her boyfriend… was a really nice feeling.

Finally feeling tiredness draping her mind again, Clementine carefully grabbed Louis' right arm from behind her and put it over her waist, slowly so not to wake him with her action – and perhaps slightly embarrassed that she did so. Returning a soft hold on his hand, she enjoyed the comforting feeling of his dry, yet warm skin against hers before finally joining him in a deep sleep.

---

"Today's dinner, roasted rabbit with a side dish of frog legs."

Omar proclaimed with a tone as if he just presented the most delicious meal he'd made in a while.

Well, in a zombie apocalypse world, it might just be up there, Clementine thought with a shake of her head as all the kids took their places by the dining table. One of Clementine's crutches slid and she sort of awkwardly slumped down at her seat, trying to regain balance and hope she wasn't blushing. Clearing her throat, Louis came up behind and grabbed her crutches to put away while they ate, something he'd decided was his job before Clementine had even had a say in it.

Out of the blue this time, Louis leaned down to kiss her head while taking her crutches, and Clementine knew that is she hadn't blushed before from the awkward sit down, she was certainly blushing now. She could already feel AJ rolling his eyes next to her and Willy giggling under his breath.

"Louis…!" she let out in a half-scolding tone, receiving nothing but an innocent chuckle from the boy before he'd placed the crutches and sitting himself next to Ruby and Aasim, pretending he wasn't stealing glances at her while she pouted at her plate.

"How're you feelin', hun?"

Clementine appreciated the diversion and Ruby's worried tone and met the redhead's eyes as Omar began serving the rabbit meat and – what really looked more like singed twigs than frog legs.

"The pain comes and goes in waves, but it's less than it used to be the first few days." Clementine nodded towards the rest of the table as she noticed they all shot her empathetic looks. "I'll be fine, really." She smiled before letting go off her fork to playfully nudge AJ next to her who let out a laugh at the tickle. "Thanks to you, little guy." AJ playfully slapped her hand away and eagerly started eating at his food, and Clementine watched with delight at how content he seemed these days.

"And thanks to some… emotional support from me too, I reckon." Clementine looked up to see Louis shooting her a grin before returning to eat his food, and she barely got to give him an stern look before Aasim spoke up.

"I'm sure you give Clementine some great suppor-" he barely finished the sentence before Ruby lightly elbowed him, followed by a few seconds of silence before a snort was heard almost simultaneously from Violet and Willy. Clementine and Louis automatically exchanged glances at this, and Clementine felt the hotness on her cheeks from before return.

No one seemed to have any follow-up comments on whatever had just been hinted at, and Clementine decided to eat her food and pretend like nothing while the thoughts turned in her head.

She and Louis had been sharing a bed for about two weeks, and had somewhat quietly agreed on not telling anyone but AJ about it, not wanting the others to get the wrong idea when sleeping together was… literally all they did. Then again, they hadn't really been super careful about not letting anyone see them, not really thinking anyone would be that interested to see where everyone went to bed, so someone could have easily seen Louis go into her room at night had they really wanted to…

Noticing the others were conversing about other stuff, however, Clementine breathed a sigh of relief that Aasim's snide comment hadn't turned into a thing and stole another look at Louis, who was busy chatting with Violet and Omar and didn't appear that bothered. So long as it didn't come up again, then, Clementine thought, she'd forgive Aasim this one jab at what went on inside her room which was really none of their business.

---

Clementine let her fingers carefully run over the covers of some of the books left at the school's library, occasionally wiping the dust from her fingertips while she hoped to find some children books suitable for AJ to practice his reading on. She had picked up two books for herself too, thinking it no harm to keep her own reading skills polished, (besides, with only one leg, she was sitting a whole lot more than she'd done before the world went to hell) and was about to browse the third book shelf, when a sudden presence behind her startled her and nearly made her drop one of the books.

Turning around to see Willy grinning up at her, Clementine gave an irritated groan and shifted the books in her arm to have a better grip.

"Willy? Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone? Especially a one-legged person." she said the last words as more of a sigh while straightening the one crutch she was holding, giving him an expectant glare to hear his answer.

"Uh I'm sorry, Clem. I didn't realize I was that quiet…" Willy said with a laugh he tried to hide, clearly having found some amusement in surprising her. "I just, uh… whatcha got there?"

"Oh, these?" Clementine looked at the books held against her belly which consisted of a teen novel and another about the universe, not really having payed too much attention what genres she had picked from.

"I thought I might practice both my own and AJ's reading, so I was just looking around for some children's books for him next to these."

"Oh, I see." Willy's eyes flickered over the books before he looked back at Clementine, and she got a feeling he hadn't really been interested in her answer. Instead he resumed to stare at her, which began to wear at her patience.

"Okay, so…? Did you have something else you wanted to ask, Willy?"

"I was just uh… wondering…" he paused and briefly glanced at her books while trying to work out his next words, but didn't consider for long before he went with his question.

"Are you and Louis doing it every night?"

"Wha-" The books really did drop from Clementine's hand this time and she instinctively made a hop backwards so not have them land on her one foot. Her cheeks flamed up and she shot Willy the sternest look she could manage while she knew her face simultaneously revealed her embarrassment.

"I'm just asking!" Willy exclaimed with an innocent tone while he quickly bended down to pick up her books as if to mitigate his brazenness.

"Wow, okay Willy." Clementine jabbed while grabbing the books from him.

"First off, it's really rude to ask something like that." She paused to get a reaction from him, but shook her head to find him only staring jaw-dropped to get her continuation.

"And second… no." Clementine felt her blush spread further at having to talk about this.

"Me and Louis are… sharing a bed, yes. But that's all we're doing. We're sleeping and nothing else."

"What? You're… not having sex?" he nearly shouted the last part and Clementine felt her face twist and reflexively looked around to check that no one was hearing them.

"It's just… AJ told me you were sleeping together and-"

"Oh, my god…" Clementine interrupted and leaned her forehead against a palm, feeling somewhat relieved she got the answer to her previous question and it wasn't someone spying on her and Louis.

"So AJ told you…huh?" She met Willy's gaze again who looked down as he finally appeared to consider his words.

"Um yeah… nothing else though, he just went on rambling about what he was drawing, so… I guess some of the others heard him too."

So the others think me and Louis are doing it too? Great.

Clementine rolled her eyes and drew a breath, trying to suppress the embarrassment doing twists and turns in her head, and decided that she'd try and clear things up with the others later. For now, she was dealing with Willy.

"Alright Willy…" she sighed again and dropped her stern expression, deciding she'd get on his level instead of scolding him, knowing there really was no point in doing so.

"AJ didn't lie. Like I said, me and Louis are sleeping together, as in, next to each other. My leg aches a lot during the night sometimes so… Louis offered to sleep next to me and comfort me when it happens." Clementine tapped lightly at her hip with the one crutch and smiled sadly.

"I see… That's… nice of him I guess…" Willy shot a saddened look towards her stump and rubbed a hand at the back of his head.

"Besides," Clementine continued. "AJ is sleeping in the bed right next to us too. So… of course we're not doing anything when he's right there."

Willy's hand dropped and he gave Clementine a look that she thought had a mischievous gleam to it.

"Well… if that's your problem, I can just ask AJ to have a sleepover with me-"

"Willy, it's not…!" Clementine burst out, but got a hold of herself not to completely lose her composure now.

"AJ is not a problem, so… no, you won't be asking him to sleep in your room, cause me and Louis are. not. doing anything. And that's all I'm going to say about it."

"Pshht, fine." Willy's curios stare dropped and he turned away to cross his arms. "I'm bored of this conversation now. I'm gonna go ask AJ if he wants play hide and seek with me, if that's okay?"

Clementine gave a little chuckle and hopped over to him to ruffle his hair.

"Of course that's okay, Willy. Now go find him, and think a little more about what it's okay to ask people and what's not, please."

"Whatever…" he scoffed himself and uncrossed his arms to finally make his way out of the library, and Clementine turned towards the shelves behind her with a sigh of relief when his voice suddenly called out to her again.

"You know, Clem…"

Clementine turned to meet Willy's gaze by the doorway, who was giving her an even bigger grin than before.

"Maybe you should consider doing it though? I bet Louis really wants to!"

She was about to shout at him to get out for real this time, but he beat her to it as the boy was already out the doorframe by the last word and his running footsteps echoed down the hallway. Clementine felt her heart beat rapidly in her chest and temporarily put the two books away to support herself against the shelf, feeling the embarrassment doing somersaults in her belly now while a new ache from the leg caused her to feel dizzy on top of it all.

I should get back to the room and lie down…

Clementine waited for the dizziness to pass and collected the books again, then managed to awkwardly hold them alongside her right crutch as she made her way out of the dusty, looming room and into the hallway, listening to the creaky taps of her crutches against the wooden floor while Willy's last sentence repeated in her head.

"I bet Louis really wants to!"

Clementine reached the door to her room and balanced on one leg while letting go of one crutch to open it. Once inside, her gaze went to her bed, the blanket still a mess from her and Louis getting up from there this morning, and her blush increased.

It wasn't that she hadn't considered… sleeping with him… sometime in the future. Sure, she was a teenager and sharing a bed with her boyfriend. Of course the thought was there, and that it was… inviting. But Clementine knew, she had her reasons for not wanting to go any further on it, and she had planned on discussing it with Louis if the topic ever came up. She supposed the fact that he hadn't brought it up, not by words or trying anything while lying next to her, that she wouldn't have to discuss it, and so had retrieved to a wishful mindset that it wouldn't ever be brought up.

"Of course that's dumb…" Clementine said under her breath while she sat at the bed and absent-mindedly turned the pages on the teen novel she had found, just now realizing that her irritation at Willy had made her completely forget finding that children's book for AJ. Having spent a lot of energy standing on her one leg in the library just now, she thought that she'd rather head back tomorrow, and let her head hit the pillow to get a few minutes of rest.

---

Clementine sat at the chair by AJ's bed and lovingly stroke her fingers over the boy's head as she'd just succeeded in singing him to sleep. She had used a song she'd faintly recalled her mother singing to her, and despite how much AJ had grown and how much he had done, she wanted to keep those precious moments of simply treating him like a child. While AJ had initially protested to being sung to, quietly insisting he was too big, it hadn't taken many minutes of the song before Clementine heard his breathing turning heavy as he dozed off.

She had just got pull the blanket over his chest and kiss his forehead when she heard light knocking on the door. Knowing who it belonged it, as it was around this time during the evening he would come, Clementine's heart skipped a beat, and she tried to look as calm as she could when the door slowly opened and Louis stepped inside.

"Hey…" he whispered, standing by the door and giving Clementine a small smile before letting his gaze fall to AJ.

"Hey you." Clementine whispered back and followed his gaze to the sleeping six-year old.

"He out for the day?"

"Yup, just got him to sleep." Clementine returned the faint smile and admitted with slight embarrassment, "You know… I actually sang for him."

"Wait… you sang, and I wasn't here to hear it?" Louis whispered as his smile grew further, and Clementine gave him a teasing glare.

"And you won't either. I don't have a singing voice, so AJ's the only one allowed to hear it."

"Now, I don't believe that for a second." Louis raised an eyebrow and stepped further into the room, though he still kept a hand at the doorknob, and Clementine noticed his smile dropping as he averted his gaze and rubbed a hand at the back of head.

"I was wondering…" he paused, then lowered his hand and met her gaze again. As the moonlight rested on him where he stood, Clementine caught herself thinking how handsome he looked right then, and her heartbeat increased just a tad.

"Could we maybe… talk outside? So we don't wake him..?"

Clementine blinked her eyes and an involuntary "Uhh…" escaped her lips, startled at the request, but quickly followed up with "Sure" and getting up to grab her crutches. Following Louis outside, he reached a hand out and carefully closed the door behind her, and Clementine felt her heartbeat increase again. Even as they had shared a bed for two weeks, it was as if standing inches from Louis in the dark right now made her even more nervous and self-conscious than she'd been before, and all that it took was someone asking her out loud why she hadn't done more but sleep next to him.

"About today…"

Louis whispered a tad louder, but still kept his volume down as Clementine figured he really was careful about not waking AJ.

"At the table, I mean… you think the others…"

"Yeah…" Clementine replied, and figured she might as well tell him what happened than skip around it.

"Willy came to me while I was in the library." She saw Louis' eyes widen and briefly averted her gaze as she quickly decided she wasn't going to tell him Willy's exact words. She felt an urge to cross her arms in an attempt to seem more collected than she was, but as they now had to hold her crutches, she could just draw a calming breath and hope she wasn't blushing.

"They… all know, apparently."

"They, um…" Louis furrowed his brow and saw her eyes flicker before meeting his again, and there was a bashfulness to her expression he'd never seen before.

"Know what, exactly?"

"Well…" Clementine drew another breath and rolled her eyes at really having to bring this up.

"They think they know, I should say. AJ mentioned we were "sleeping together" while he was drawing…" Clementine saw Louis' hand immediately jerk to his forehead and found she nearly let out a laugh at his embarrassed face and muttering of "Oh shit…" under his breath.

"Yep" she continued, "so basically… they all think we're banging."

Clementine saw Louis cheeks darkening in tone as he returned her gaze, and briefly averted her own in slight embarrassment at her choice of words.

"I guess we should have told AJ about… not telling…" Louis spoke up, then cleared his throat at how shaky he thought his voice suddenly sounded.

"But… what's done is done." He slowly shook his head and crossed his own arms while gazing down, and Clementine briefly felt at a loss for words herself. An awkward silence followed where neither of them managed to look the other in the eye all of a sudden, and Clementine felt her own face twist at how self-conscious she grew around him by the second. She was just about to force herself to break the silence when Louis barely beat her to it.

"I'm sorry…" he said softly while taking a step towards her.

"I was supposed to be a comfort to you, not a source of embarrassment. I'll… I'll talk to them tomorrow, I'll explain-"

"Louis…" Clementine interrupted and put one crutch against the wall so she could put a hand on his arm.

"You're not an embarrassment to me, stupid. It's more about us being embarrassed together, isn't it…" she smiled and squeezed his arm and hoped it was enough of a hint to him that she wanted him to laugh about it, if only to cover up her own awkwardness.

"You sure you mean that…" Louis said with a faint smile that Clementine sensed had a disbelieving feeling to it, and it bothered her to think he would see himself in a negative way to her.

"Hey… you need me to prove it?" Clementine smiled and withdrew her hand to grab her crutch again, then nodded towards her door.

"You coming in for the night… or what?"

She smiled again as he gave a somewhat startled expression, but he quickly snapped out of it and gave a light nod in return, and it was Louis' turn to hope his cheeks hadn't gone too red at seeing Clementine's inviting gaze and asking him to come to her bed again, as all the other nights.

Carefully stepping inside, both their gazes immediately went to AJ to assure the boy was still asleep, and exchanged a smile between them at some soft murmurs coming from his mouth. Clementine moved over to the dresser next to AJ to place her crutches and heard Louis close the door behind her and slowly remove his coat. Clementine answered by removing her own jacket when a sudden wince of pain put her out of balance and she jolted forward to grab the dresser. As soon as she did so, a pair of hands clutched at her waist and Louis supported her body from behind, a concerned "You okay?" whispered by her left ear.

Clementine sighed and twisted her face at another jolt of pain, and slowly turned around to grab his upper arms for support, letting out a quiet, forced laugh to conceal her distress at getting accustomed to a life with only one leg.

"Still not used to it, I guess…" she whispered, then gazed down to see the stump awkwardly dangling where her left leg should have been.

"No one expects you to be either."

Louis softly wrapped his arms around her back and furrowed his brow at her, feeling upset he could maybe take away a bit of her emotional pain, but none of her physical.

Clementine met his gaze and thought she could tell what he was thinking, and, briefly peeking over at AJ to make absolutely sure he hadn't woken up by their presence, she shifted her hands from Louis' arms to caress his neck and leaned up to press her lips against his.

Louis blinked a few times at her action before he quickly responded, wrapping his arms tighter around her and softly returning the kiss, his heart fluttering at how lucky he still felt having this badass, gorgeous girl standing here and kissing him of all people.

Clementine withdrew too early for his liking, but she had no choice, balancing on one leg while kissing quickly became tiresome, and she gave a tiny smile as a way of apologizing, staring intently into his eyes and whispering, "You're not an embarrassment to me."

Louis chuckled and squeezed her further towards him, playfully pushing his forehead against hers while replying, "Okay…" Clementine smiled back before the leg began to waver, and Louis took a step backwards to help her sit down at the bed. From there, they silently decided it was time to get to sleep, and as Louis removed his pants and Clem her sweater, they both tried their best not to act self-conscious about it. It had worked well enough before, the seriousness around Clementine's leg being enough for them to direct their focus on that, either comforting the one in pain or being the one in pain, they didn't have the mindset to be distracted by silly things the carefree teenagers before their time might have been.

But now someone had brought it out in the open, and Clementine felt as if hers and Louis' silence on the matter had been exposed as the avoiding behaviour it was. She found herself cursing Willy for having ruined the comforting indifference they had shared being in the same bed, and that all that was left now was a fitting awkwardness as they undressed next to each other.

Clementine kept her army pants and worn shirt on as before and silently slid under the blanket, with Louis carefully shifting over her lower half so not to graze her stump and joining her under the blanket, wearing black boxers and his green shirt. He had told her before she should remove the pants while sleeping, he "didn't care about her leg", but Clementine had only muttered, "I do…" in response, and Louis hadn't wished to argue with her.

Clementine turned away and closed her eyes as soon as their heads hit the pillow, and felt grateful that she at least felt tired enough that she'd hopefully fall asleep quickly, and perhaps they could postpone any talk of what Willy had brought up for at least another day. "Good night" she whispered, and waited for Louis to reply to get the affirmation that he agreed on joining her in sleep and forget about it.

But, Louis didn't reply, and Clementine's heart pounded a bit faster as she heard his breathing and felt as if his eyes were gazing at the back of her head, questions and maybe even desires waiting to come out of his mouth. She was almost about to repeat herself just in case he hadn't heard her properly, when he finally did reply.

"Good night…"

But there was something about the tone of his voice, Clementine thought. Instead of an affirmative "Good night", it sounded… unconvinced, as if he hadn't meant saying it, and her nervousness grew further.

About two minutes passed of Clementine shutting her eyes and trying to will herself to sleep, when she felt Louis shifting to softly press himself against her, and his arm, of his own volition this time, draping around her waist. Clementine caught a breath in her throat.

"Clem…"

Louis softly snuggled his nose against her hair and whispered her name in that husky tone his voice would sometimes drop to when he was being sweet, and Clementine's body trembled at having it whispered to her in the middle of the night, his arm draping around her and his face inches from hers.

"Do you really… hate the idea of it…?"

And there it was.

Clementine's brow twisted and she let out a pained sigh. She slowly turned her head and caressed Louis' right arm with her hand and met his eyes, and saw a gaze she thought had somehow both an innocence and desire to it at the same time. It made her heart flutter and she had to fight the urge to just kiss him then and there.

"Louis…" she spoke up, shifting to face him entirely and kept holding his arm, taking a few breaths to steady her voice while she saw him frowning in nervous anticipation of what she would say.

"Of course I don't… silly…" Clementine whispered and couldn't help it anymore as she moved her left hand to cup his cheek and leaned forward to gently kiss him. Feeling him slowly run his right hand from her shoulder to her hip in response, she deepened the kiss a tad before withdrawing, but kept holding onto his cheek while gazing intently at him, praying her eyes wasn't revealing her own desire to be intimate with him right now.

"It's just… we can't…"

She saw his eyes flicker at her words, trying to read her expression, and she knew at that moment that he tried his best not to look disappointed.

Louis drew a breath and replied in the most indifferent tone he could manage: "Why not…?"

His eyes suddenly widened at her before he lifted his head to look towards AJ's silhouette, then quickly back at her.

"Ju… just so you know, I didn't mean now…" he whispered in a panicky tone, and Clementine smiled while placing a hand back at his cheek, hinting for him to lie back down.

"I know…" she assured him, but knew it wasn't what he had wanted to hear as his expression kept revealing a disheartenment at her words.

"It's just… think about it, Louis." Clementine frowned and forced her voice to sound a bit strict. She shifted her hand from his cheek to rest at his shoulder, and Louis' gaze withdrew from her while he slowly moved his own hand from her hip to absentmindedly caress at her arm, waiting for her continuation.

"We don't exactly have the same luxuries that couples before our time did. We can't just… walk down to the nearest shop and buy a condom."

Clementine spoke the last words as low as she could, suddenly feeling very nervous of AJ hearing her. Her cheeks heated as she traced Louis' face for his reaction beyond an exhale of "Oh…", seeing his cheeks darken in turn while his expression revealed a resignation before he shifted himself to gaze at the bed above them.

"That."

"Exactly…" Clementine replied softly.

"That."

She lowered her gaze and carefully traced her fingers over his left shoulder, suddenly feeling nervous of caressing him further as she wondered if it was still wanted of her.

"I'm just…" she continued after a few moments of silence, "I'm not going to… risk that."

She whispered in a saddened tone while nervously keeping her gaze at him, waiting for a reaction, but got none but him continuing to stare above him, appearing as if he was in deep thought.

About twenty seconds passed of not getting a reply, and Clementine sighed and shifted on her own back, closing her eyes and deciding she'd just try and sleep if the conversation wasn't going further. She was about to whisper for Louis to try and go to sleep too when he suddenly spoke up.

"So what?"

Clementine's eyes shut open and she turned towards him as he simultaneously turned towards her.

"…What?"

Louis fully turned towards her and raised his hand to caress at her arm again.

"So what if… you got pregnant?"

Clementine blinked her eyes and found herself staring at him for several seconds while he returned her gaze with a somewhat insecure, yet still determined expression.

"Louis, what…what are you saying…?"

"I'm saying…" Louis replied, his gaze still firmly locked with hers.

"I wouldn't mind… I mean… having a… kid with you."

"Oh my god…" Clementine raised a hand to her mouth to silence herself and quickly looked over at AJ again, and found it hard to believe he still appeared to be sleeping. Her cheeks got so hot she thought she could warm her hands on them and looked back at Louis with an expression mixed of embarrassment, disbelief and anger all at once. Louis swallowed at this and tried his best not to show how nervous he felt, but thought he likely revealed himself by how his brow twisted by his own somersaulting stomach.

"Do you even realize what you're saying?" Clementine took a deep breath to try and calm herself and fight the tears she felt building in her throat.

"We're… teenagers, Louis! In this world…"

"I know that…" Louis spoke up, "Don't you think I do?"

He shifted a bit closer and allowed himself to lift his hand and caress her arm in return this time. Clementine still gave him an upset glare, but let him to do so, to his relief.

"You raised AJ, didn't you?" Louis even dared to give Clementine a sly smile at this, and her heart pounded further at all these unashamed comments.

"And he turned out great." Louis let his gaze wander to AJ while saying this, before looking back at Clementine, squeezing her arm and keeping his smile.

"Idiot…" Clementine sighed and found that she couldn't contain a tiny laugh behind that comment.

"I didn't give birth to AJ, you know."

"Wait, you didn't?" Louis asked and feigned surprise.

"All this time I thought I knew the world's youngest mother when he's actually adopted? Call me embarrassed."

Clementine gave an irritated sigh and lightly slapped Louis' shoulder. She saw his face light up at her reaction, which further saddened her as she knew she had to be clearer with him.

"Yes, I raised AJ, and I love him to pieces. …That doesn't mean I'd gladly do it again with another child." Clementine sighed and reached out her hand to softly hold at Louis' arm as she saw his smile weaken.

"Louis, do you… even realize what a baby needs? How much food, clothes, sleep and attention it craves, 24/7? I mean…" Clementine felt tears press further on her eyes. "Do you really want it on your conscience to be worried you won't be able to provide for or return safely to not only me and your friends, but… your own child?" The tears burned at her throat, and she saw as Louis' gaze dropped further down at her words.

"Besides… before a baby would even be born… do you know how dangerous a pregnancy can be?"

The first tear finally breached her eye, and Louis quickly returned his gaze to her and gave a somewhat panicked expression.

"Clem, I'm…" he spoke up and moved his hand to dry her tear, though she reflexively lifted her hand and beat him to it.

"Did I ever tell you about AJ's mother?"

She sniffled and took a deep breath to prevent more tears from pressing as images of the dead and then reanimated Rebecca flashed through her mind, and she involuntarily tugged at Louis' shirt for comfort.

"…I don't believe you did."

Louis caressed Clementine's cheek and saw her struggle to find her words between her shaking breaths, and internally beat himself for having made her this upset now.

Why didn't I just let her sleep?

"We were a group travelling together and she… Rebecca was her name. She just… her pregnancy made her so weak. When she finally gave birth to AJ… she just… died…" Clementine leaned in so her forehead nearly touched Louis' to whisper the last word as low as possible, taking no chances of AJ hearing her.

"Blood loss and…fatigue… I guess…"

Her gaze dropped and her hold at Louis' shirt tightened. Louis lifted a hand to caress her head when a thought came to him.

"Wait… if she died that way… then…"

"Yes." Clementine interrupted.

"She reanimated… while still holding AJ. … And I had to shoot her."

"Jesus, Clem…!"

Louis wrapped his arm around her and pulled her all the way to his chest. Clementine enjoyed the warmth of his body and tried to let herself be calmed by it when a second image came to her mind and she couldn't stop herself from letting out a loud sob. Louis heard the pitiful noise and shifted himself back just enough to see tears running down her face, a hand covering her mouth while her brow twisted in pain.

"God, Clem…" Louis' chest ached at seeing her like this and tightened his hold on her again, pushing his cheek against the top of her head while she continued to shake in his hold, tears burning at her eyes.

"I never meant to upset you like this. Forget I ever said anything, just-"

"I'm sorry…" Clementine paused and held her mouth at another sob threatening to come as the image of a pregnant woman cradling her dead boyfriend replayed in her head more vividly than it'd done in years.

"I just… remembered…" she drew a deep breath and hinted for Louis to let go of her a little, something he reluctantly did but kept his arm around her while she drew more shaky breaths and stared above her to avoid having to see his increasingly concerned face.

"I knew… another pregnant woman… before AJ's mom. She…"

"…died too?" Louis carefully asked when he saw her pausing and struggling to continue.

"No, she…" Clementine sniffled again and quickly wiped tears away.

"She… I don't know…" Clementine saw Christa before her, surrounded by the threatening men before she ordered Clementine to run. She had done so only to fall in and be washed away by a river, and that was the last time she had seen Christa.

"But…" Clementine drew more breaths to support the growing lump in her throat.

"Her… boyfriend did."

She shifted her hand to lightly squeeze at Louis' arm and closed her eyes, once again seeing the weeping Christa with her heavily pregnant belly, holding poor, sweet Omid in her arms who had died for a completely stupid and avoidable reason.

"I was… nine years old, Louis. Right after Lee… the man who took care of me… after him there was a couple. They were really nice and… I liked them a lot. The woman, Christa, she was pregnant… like almost all the way…"

"Clem…" Louis interrupted her and she managed to turn to see him give her a hurt, but serious stare.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to. I know you-"

"Well, I brought it up so… might as well finish it. It's not a long story, Louis, it's just…" Clementine paused and looked away again.

"I'd only been with them for about a week. It didn't take longer than that. A strange girl pointed a gun at me in a public restroom and… Omid… that was Christa's boyfriend's name… he… he tried to sneak up on the girl. And… it's just… he died coming in there to save me. And I… could just stand and watch as Christa cried and cried over his body."

Clementine squeezed at Louis' arm again and closed her eyes.

"Just like that he was gone. And a few weeks later… so was Christa's baby."

Clementine heard a heavy exhale from Louis before he pulled her in again and softly kissed her temple. Clementine furrowed her brow and tried not to think about it. Having Louis so lovingly beside her and even talking about wanting a family with her? She wanted to treasure it. She wanted to treasure it with all her heart, but in her mind right now, all she had managed to see was a pregnant woman cradling her dead boyfriend, but in the places of Christa and Omid she had involuntarily seen her and Louis instead.

"Clem…" Louis spoke up and kissed her again.

"I'm just… shit, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I've sure been sheltered living in this school for the whole apocalypse and… barely seeing any deaths…" he whispered in her hair before carefully shifting a bit away from her.

"…but, I… want to tell you something, Clem… and, well…I hope you won't take it the wrong way."

Clementine turned to give him an uncertain stare, and felt herself unconsciously getting ready to be mad or hurt if he was planning to dismiss any of what she had just said.

"I know we live in a shitty world right now… where these things happen, but… if you think about it… didn't these things always happen, Clem?"

"What?"

Clementine kept her frown at him, wondering where he was going.

"People… dying, I mean? Even before the world went to shit, people could still… die all the time… in different accidents. … at any ages." He frowned further before continuing.

"That didn't mean people stopped… living. I mean, doing what you wanted. Going places you wanted to see. Having friends and family. You didn't hold back from living life even if you knew bad things could happen."

"Louis-"

"I know." Louis interrupted her. "I know it still can't be compared to… how it is now. Please, I'm not saying this so… you'll want to have a child." He allowed himself a tiny smile as he thought he saw her expression being moved, if even for just a second.

"I'm just saying… you can't live life constantly being worried for the future, it doesn't serve a purpose-"

"This is… starting to sound familiar." Clementine interrupted him and to his brief joy, gave a tiny smile in return.

"I guess it is… I told you before, all we have… is this moment, right? It's what we should live for. To enjoy life… even if life tries to tell us not to." He tangled his fingers with hers and Clementine felt her body tremble again at his voice and touch, but managed to raise an eyebrow at him in response.

"Right…you do know a baby isn't really an "in the moment" thing, though?"

She saw as his cheeks darkened again though he still smiled, and her own cheeks heated at how long they had stayed at the topic of children, she needed it to stop before her whole face would turn crimson.

"Heh, you got me. But for your information, I do know that." His smile then disappeared and he slowly slid his fingers out from Clem's to place his arm over her belly again and shifted a bit closer.

"Man… I don't blame you for being afraid of the idea… having had such terrible experiences with other pregnant women. I'm so sorry I surprised you with what I said, Clem… and made you feel you had to… share that with me… I never meant for that."

Clementine lifted a hand to caress at his shoulder.

"I know that, Louis… just so you know, I don't… disagree with what you said. About how dangerous the world could always be, I mean."

She sighed and felt an unconscious relief washing through her at having finished her tears, realizing it had been a while since the last time she'd cried, and she had apparently needed it.

"I guess what I should say is… even if we had been living in the old world… I still don't think I'd want to be pregnant at only 17, you know?"

She turned her head towards Louis to attempt a teasing smile, and he squeezed her a bit tighter in response.

"Please, Clem, forget I said it… you know me, living in the moment and not… considering everything I say…"

Clementine heard his voice fade a little as she could tell he was getting sleepy, and she was thankful he hadn't wanted to follow up with more questions, feeling tiredness draping her mind as well, not only from exhaustion of the day but of their whole conversation and all the emotions she'd just gone through.

"Let's just… get some sleep." He whispered into her head and she nodded and slowly turned away from him to face AJ, still in disbelief to see the boy all gone as he was facing her back with closed eyes and a tiny mouth slightly open, his face twitching and moving, indicating a dream. At least she hoped it was and not a nightmare.

"Good night, AJ…" she said low enough that not even Louis would hear her, then squeezed at Louis' arm and whispered good night to him again a little louder.

"I'm sorry, Clem…" she heard him whisper back, before following up with "… good night." His breathing slowed down and she thought he was asleep, and she sighed in pain that she'd basically told him she'd never sleep with him so long as there was a danger of getting pregnant. And he was apologizing to her?

What a desirable girlfriend she was.

Ugh, just stop.

Clementine had to force herself not to let more hurtful thoughts and images take over her mind, and instead decided to focus entirely on having Louis next to her and AJ a few feet away, and be comforted by their breathing and knowledge of how surrounded by friends and love she was, for the first time in a long time in her life. Ultimately, Clementine did fall asleep thinking of this, unaware that both AJ and Louis were sleeping soundly thanks to her comforting presence in return.

---

"Hey, Clem."

Clementine jolted at Ruby's voice while she sat by one of the outdoor benches with the astronomy book in her hand, and turned to see Ruby walking over to her with what she thought was a teasing look in her face. Clementine immediately felt apprehensive and grabbed the glass of water in front of her to take a sip and appear as collected as possible, while thinking in her head that if Ruby were to ask anything akin to what Willy did, she would grab her crutches and leave no matter how awkwardly slow that would be.

"I got ya this."

Ruby reached her and lifted her hand that appeared to be holding something, before she grabbed Clementine's hand and pushed a tiny object into her palm, then closed Clementine's fingers around it so she couldn't see what it was right away. Clementine gave her a confused stare as the redhead took a step backwards with a smile, and opened her hand to see what the object was.

And nearly spat out her water.

"Ruby? What the–?!"

Clementine immediately shut her hand over the object and hit it under the table while rapidly looking over the yard to see if anyone had seen it, though the only other presences were Aasim and Omar some thirty feet away, Aasim with his nose in a book of his own and Omar with his back to them, gutting the rabbits of yesterday's trappings.

"Ruby, is this… is this what I think it-?"

"If what ya think is a condom, then yeah, that's what it is." Ruby smiled smugly at her and Clementine stared jaw-dropped back.

"But… what? How…? Where—"

"You know what I recalled? When we first came to the school, we were just kids, but… they had teenagers here at that time too. I used'ta hang out with this older girl that was around for up until a few years ago… and… well, she told me one day that even in this school for messed up kids, can you believe, they had still been given sex-ed classes."

Ruby let out a chuckle at seeing Clementine's stunned face, and casually crossed her arms before continuing.

"So, ya know… sex-ed classes, nurses… keepin' a stack of condoms was apparently… kind of a thing? For, uh - educational purposes? The box is still sittin' in the old nurse's office with a handful of those things left."

Ruby raised a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear while glancing over the school yard towards Aasim and Omar.

"I haven' really… told Aasim about it yet… too embarrassed I guess. I'm pretty certain we're each other firsts too…" Her cheeks turned a little red and she quickly looked back at Clementine with a shy smile.

"So I thought I'd just postpone the awkward stuff for myself by tellin' you about it first. Sound about right, huh?" She said, hoping Clementine would share some quips on her reasoning back, but the latter had barely managed to pay attention to anything she had said as the thoughts were spinning in her head while she was certain her whole face had turned a bright red by now.

Why did Ruby know about this? Had Louis told her? Or worse, had AJ pretended to sleep after all, heard everything, and he had told her?

She decided to ask in the calmest voice she could manage.

"Ruby, how did… uh… did someone… say something to you?"

Ruby looked down at Clementine again and gave her what she thought looked like a genuinely confused expression.

"Um… no one's said anything…? I just figured you'd… want to know about it when you guys are, ya know… datin' and all. But judging by that comment, I'm assuming this is something that was discussed, huh?" Ruby said with a teasing smile and Clementine couldn't help but bury her face in her hand at this point, feeling beyond exposed and embarrassed.

"That's what I thought. Oh, and also…" Ruby moved a bit closer and gave Clementine a light pat on her shoulder.

"Me and Violet are having a sleepover with Willy and AJ tonight, if that's alright with ya?"

Clementine choked on some air and raised her head to give Ruby a disbelieving look.

"Ruby, that-!"

"No buts there. We told the boys we'd built a fortress of blankets and pillows and tell'em pirate stories. You shoulda seen AJ's face. He's gonna be mighty disappointed if you tell'im he can't come."

Clementine felt her heartbeat increase in both embarrassment and somewhat anger, that while she naturally didn't mind AJ having fun and sleeping over with the others, it felt as an elaborate plan by them to force her into a situation with Louis that she just… wasn't prepared for.

But as if Ruby had been reading her mind, she spoke up again.

"Hey, don't get the wrong idea, hun'." she patted Clementine's shoulder again and gave her a warm smile.

"I'm not sayin' you hafta to do anything here. Lord no. I'm just… well, givin' you the opportunity, is all."

Clementine drew a calming breath and told herself to stop looking so embarrassed even if she was. She forced herself to give Ruby a smile and hoped it wasn't obvious how fake it was.

"Okay Ruby, that's… um… really nice of you to ask the boys for a sleepover and… telling them stories." She drew another shaking breath before looking down and clutching at the glass with one hand while she felt the tiny plastic wrapping tickling the palm of her other hand.

"I'll discuss it with AJ later and just… lie some ground rules for him." The thought of the sleepover, however, did bring out a genuine smile on her face as she always loved for AJ to do more normal kids' stuff.

"I'm sure he'll love it… thank you." She gave the genuine smile which seemed to convince Ruby too as her expression relaxed and she gave an excited one in return.

"That's great, Clem! Violet and I are lookin' forward to it, we know some really good ones. Oh, I bet AJ's gonna love one I have about a one-legged pirate." She said with a giggle that Clementine couldn't help but return, agreeing with her on that notion, and just secretly hoped she wasn't expecting her to thank her on that other thing.

"Alright then…" Clementine said before nervously clearing her throat and looking away, hoping Ruby would take the hint, and felt the relief as she saw her turning and starting to walk away.

"Alright you are, I'll get things ready for tonight." Ruby said before halting her steps again, and Clementine gave her a halfway glance at what the stop was for.

"Once again, hun… don't think this was me pressuring you into anythin'. I really did want to have a fun night like this with the kids."

"Right…" Clementine raised an eyebrow as she thought she still saw the hint of a teasing look in Ruby's face, and decided to get her one back.

"Don't wait too long about telling Aasim though. Poor guy's been waiting for you this long, he's probably about to explode."

Clementine had to let out a snort, seeing Ruby's eyes go wide and a blush spread on her face, but got a brief regretful feeling, wondering if she'd just earned herself the redhead's wrath at that.

"Well…! You got me…" Ruby chuckled nervously while averting her gaze from Clementine and crossing her arms, and Clementine couldn't help but enjoy being the one embarrassing the other person this time. Ruby shook her head and as her blush spread, decided to return to the dorm, leaving Clementine at the bench with the damn condom tucked in her hand that was starting to make her palm sweaty.

Realizing she still held it like that, Clementine quickly put it in one of her pockets and pretended to return to reading, even though her mind was completely gone, wondering how the hell she was meant to deliver this to Louis.

Hey Louis, AJ is sleeping over with Willy and the girls tonight and Ruby gave me a condom.

"Fucking hell…."

Clementine heard more of the kids coming outside and raised a hand to her forehead, pretending to shield her eyes from the sun rather than her face that was still shade of red, praying that for the rest of the day the condom at least wouldn't fall out of her pocket in front of some of them to top it all off.

---

Clementine slowly removed her jacket and shuddered as some cold air met her skin and gave her goosebumps, this night being a tad colder than the ones before. Her gaze went to the nigh full moon outside the window that bathed the school yard in a comforting sapphire light and highlighted the silhouettes of Aasim and Omar by the fence's watch towers, serving as tonight's lookouts as well.

Clementine's heart hammered while removing another layer of shirt, leaving only a tank top left of which she ended up peeking down her body to see if there were any hints of curves there.

I barely have any breasts…

She tossed the shirt at AJ's now empty bed with an irritated sigh before crossing her arms over her belly, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable where she had never cared much for how her body looked before. Surviving day to day in an apocalyptic world really drew your attention away from such things, but suddenly here she was, in a relatively safe home, with a boyfriend, who possibly – no, definitely hoped for them to take things further at some point.

And that some point possibly being tonight…

Clementine had to uncross her arms to lean forward on the dresser when her leg began aching, and wondered why the pain had kept calm for a little while. Only two nights had passed since her and Louis' conversation, and though they had left it on an agreeable note, there had definitely been created an awkwardness there that had left them barely talking to each other when waking up the next day, and Clementine had nearly wished her leg had ached more that night so they could have regained the closeness and forgot about the ordeal. But she had woken up the following morning without having suffered any aches, and even though they still shared the bed the next night too, it had been an uncomfortable repeat of avoiding too much talk between them, as if both were worried they'd hurt or annoy the other bringing any more touchy subjects up. Clementine's leg had kept calm that night as well, and she both fell asleep and woke up without any memory of Louis wrapping his arm around her for comfort or simply to snuggle. It pained her to wonder if it would stay this awkward between them from now on unless she would give him what he apparently wanted.

Well, stop acting so innocent, me. It's not like I'm completely opposed to it myself…

Clementine furrowed her brow and glanced at her leg, and felt a shudder at how awful she thought it looked all of a sudden. God, did Louis really want to sleep with her? How unsexy did she not look with this stump? He had been sharing her bed all this time because he felt sorry for her, hadn't he? What if all his talk two nights back had really been more a 'kindness' from him than a genuine desire? To make her feel good about herself when he could tell she clearly didn't?

After all, how many guys wanted to be fathers when they were 19 years old?

Stop it.

Clementine shook her head and grabbed her crutches to support herself, trying to suppress tears she felt building in her throat at the thoughts just now. This was really the worst time for her to think of this.

Just get a grip-

Her thought was interrupted as the gentle knocks from the previous two weeks and three days came at her door again, and her heart beat harder than it'd ever done before. When the door creaked open and his footsteps entered, she thought it was just about to jump out of her chest.

"Clem…?"

A shiver ran through her at the softness of Louis' voice, and she drew a breath before turning around the smoothest she could without shifting too much on her crutches, but the soft clunk-clunk-clunk of them, and her awkward hopping, was impossible to avoid, and she cringed inside at how she must look for him.

Meeting Louis' gaze, she saw as his eyes instantly went to the empty bed at her left and his brow furrowed in confusion, and could only think to brace herself.

"So… where's AJ? He staying up late…?"

Clementine quietly cleared her throat and spoke up in the most casual tone she could manage: "He is… I mean, Ruby and Violet are… having a sleepover with him and Willy. Ruby told me about it earlier. They're gonna… tell pirate stories and everything." she heard her voice still crack and involuntarily cleared her throat again, half-scolding herself inside for sounding so unnatural.

"I asked AJ and… he was dying to join them. I'm glad… you know." she said and watched as Louis had widened his eyes in response, but continued before he could speak up.

"I mean… that AJ was so eager to join them. He really needs to experience more normal kids' stuff… I bet he's having a great time." Clementine managed to calm herself somewhat directing the conversation on AJ.

"Oh…that's… yeah, that's awesome." Louis cleared his voice in turn and his gaze flickered a little.

"Good for him… and Willy, for that matter."

"Yeah…" Clementine struggled to meet his gaze too, and she saw as his hands fidgeted by his hip, before he turned away to remove his coat as if to occupy himself for the two seconds it took.

"So… um…" he spoke up again after it was off and took a few steps towards Clementine, his gaze still to the ground as she thought he looked nervous and wondered if he wasn't about to proposition her again right off the bat. She had no idea how she'd respond in such case, and swallowed a few breaths as the closeness of him made her heart beat profoundly again.

"Do you want me to… sleep in AJ's bed tonight, maybe…?"

Clementine blinked her eyes and her heart slightly dropped.

"What…? No, Louis… what… makes you think that?"

Louis' gaze met hers and she saw surprise and apparent hurt in his eyes.

"I don't know, I just thought… well, I wasn't sure if you still…"

He paused and looked down, a nervous sigh escaping his lips before looking back at her.

"If you still wanted to share a bed with me… I wondered if I… may have overstepped a line… that night." He frowned and averted his gaze again.

"I just… felt so bad opening all those wounds for you and… making you feel pressured. I started wondering if you really want me to still sleep next to you every night and just didn't know how to tell me-"

"Louis…!"

Clementine interrupted as she really didn't want to hear more of him beating himself for her case. She realized the irony as she evidently wasn't the only one of them facing insecurities, and felt the same strong urge from before to relieve Louis of his.

"Could you just… come here, please."

Clementine said in an almost upset tone, both at a frustration at his attitude and of her own unwillingness to take more clumsy steps of her own. Louis gave her a nervous stare, but conceded, and slowly walked towards her till he was standing right before her, his brow still frowned at what she wanted.

Clementine gave him an almost irritated look before she let her left crutch drop on AJ's bed in order to lean her arm on Louis' chest and reach up to carefully kiss him. He kissed her back, and she felt a tiny wave of relief at that, realizing she'd been worried he wouldn't.

The gentle kiss lasted for a few seconds before she pulled back, her expression still that of slight annoyance.

"I told you… you're not an embarrassment to me… or an intrusion, for that matter…"

She spoke the last words as more of a whisper, shyly looking down at where her hand was clutching his shirt right over his chest. She swallowed a few more breaths before looking back at him, and saw his eyes gazing back with an uncertainty, yet also the same kind of subdued desire she had seen the other night before she had so effectively killed the mood.

"So, um…"

Well, wasn't she about to spring something entirely else at him now.

"Ruby, she… gave me something."

Clementine's face burned a bright red and there was no point trying to hide it anymore. She flickered her gaze before nervously letting it meet Louis' again, who gave her an even more confused stare back, and he had to swallow a breath how cute she looked right now with her blushing face and shyly looking at him.

"Oookay…? What… did Ruby give you…?"

Clementine let out a quiet, nervous laugh and rolled her eyes, any gesture that could make light of the situation, ignoring the embarrassed tears threatening to come at what she was really about to show him. She pursed her lips and slowly slid her hand into her pocket, drew the plastic wrapping out and did the same to Louis that Ruby had done to her; carefully grabbed his hand and placed the object in it, then held her fingers over it for a few seconds so he couldn't see. She then released the breath she held and slowly slid her fingers off his hand.

She had to look at him once she did. Louis frowned as his gaze fell on the small, square object in his palm and he didn't get it right away. Clementine even saw his mouth open as he was about ask what it was, but then the words stopped at his throat, his eyes went wide and his face soon matched hers in a red shade.

"Uhhh… this is… is this what I… think…"

"Yup…"

"How did… uh… where does it come from…?"

Clementine had to laugh at that - a short, frantic laugh.

"Yeah I… asked the same thing. Apparently they've… been here all along… A few left at the old nursery room…" she gave a light shrug of her shoulders and forced a tiny smile in another attempt to conceal the skydiving emotions.

"You're… joking…." Louis lightly closed his hand over the condom and met Clementine's gaze, his eyes telling her the wheels were spinning in his head.

"Clem…" he spoke up after a few seconds and took a step towards her. Clementine's heart pounded against her chest again.

Then something changed in Louis' expression from stunned to what more resembled disbelief, and he withdrew his step and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Waaait a second…"

Clementine widened her eyes at him.

"Is this a… prank? You deciding to do a solid joke on me and… pretend to have a condom? 'cause I gotta say… that's a good one!"

"Louis…!"

Louis saw as Clementine's eyes widened further in what appeared to be panic at her part, and he chuckled while holding the square object up in better view of them both.

"It is a joke… isn't it? "We have condoms here at Ericons", hahah right." Louis turned the object between his fingers and grabbed a corner, and slowly started ripping. Clementine felt a shriek build in her throat and wanted to rip it out of his hand right then, but her balance forced her to support both her hands on one crutch and could only stare at what he was doing.

"So when I open this it's gonna be empty or-heeeylookitreallyisacondom!"

Louis froze for about three seconds before his hand quickly clutched over the partly teared package and looked back at Clementine with a 'well shit' expression.

"It's… not a joke."

Clementine returned his expression with an 'I can't believe you!' one.

"Louis… what makes you think I'd joke about that? After the other night, you'd… really think I'd… do that to you?"

Clementine shook her head at him and he gave a sheepish look back.

"Hey, I thought it'd be a good joke… I mean it'd hurt a lot, yeah, but… it'd still be funny."

Clementine had to giggle and feel the tenseness lift a tad as he chuckled and smiled back at her, but an awkward silence soon followed and their smiles slowly disappeared, their gazes flickering over Louis' hand clenched around the so called 'baby-proofing' device inside.

"So…" he was the first to speak.

"Does it mean… you… I mean… you want to…"

The words halted in Louis' mouth as he couldn't find it in him to finish the sentence, his own heart drumming against his chest, and he watched as Clementine pursed her lips again and looked away, her brow furrowed in embarrassment.

"I mean…" she spoke up when she realized he wasn't finishing, unintentionally mirroring his words.

"If you… want to." she forced herself to meet his eyes, wanting to make it clear she wasn't… expecting anything from him. Not with her… condition, as it was…

Louis frowned and gave her a confused stare back.

"What do you mean, if I want to…? I thought I was the one who… asked about it." He said with a nervous chuckle and flickered his gaze from her. Clementine heard his words, but couldn't find it in her to feel convinced that he was being honest.

"You sure you… mean that…?" she said in almost a mumble.

"What…?"

She didn't have to look at Louis to know the confused expression he still was giving her, she thought she might as well get it out now when they were at this point.

"I mean… with this body… looking like it does… do you…" Clementine felt tears building in her throat and met his gaze again, startling him at how her eyes suddenly watered.

"Do you really find it… me… attractive…?"

Clementine had barely got to swallow the lump in her throat when Louis was inches before her, his hands tilting her face towards his and pressing his lips against hers. A tiny startled noise came from Clementine's throat and she raised her left hand to hold his shirt for support again, staring wide-eyed at him for a few seconds before he slowly pulled back, his face remaining inches from hers while he gave a tender gaze she thought would make her heart burst.

"Are you serious, Clem…" he whispered, and kissed her again.

"You'd think I'd… not find you attractive… because of your leg…?"

He pulled back and used his index finger to slowly tuck a stray hair of hers behind her ear. Clementine dug into his shirt with her fingers.

"God, Clementine… you're so beautiful."

It was almost a whisper, and he leaned in for yet another kiss.

Clementine allowed herself to close her eyes this time, and felt her body heating up as his arms found their way around her back and pulled her against him. She softly moaned into his mouth, a noise that made Louis tremble and encourage him to playfully place some kisses by her ear and down her neck. Clementine couldn't help but giggle and pull back at the slight tickle, but at the same time, she had to acknowledge her leg getting tired again.

"Um… I think… I need to sit down." She whispered into his hair, and he raised his head to meet her gaze again, a devious look in his face.

"Okay." He said with a smile. He kissed her again.

"I can take a hint."

Clementine smiled and playfully shook her head at him.

"That's not what I meant."

"Yeah I know." Louis chuckled and slowly pulled back to help her sit down, then grabbed the crutch under her arm and the one on AJ's bed to lean against the dresser. Clementine watched him in silence and felt her anticipated breaths at getting to kiss him more, so that as soon as he sat down next to her, she scooted up to him and grabbed his face to find his lips again. Her right leg wrapped around his back while the half of her left leg rested on his lap, and she let another quiet moan slip as he wrapped his right arm around her waist and returned her kiss.

His right hand, clenched around the object inside, rested at her hip, which made Clementine jolt and temporarily break the kiss to glance downwards as if to make sure he wasn't nearing her stump, still not rid of the self-conscious feeling. But she barely got to look down before Louis reclaimed her lips, and he couldn't keep himself from smiling between the kisses as she answered by caressing his neck and letting out some soft giggles herself at the fluttering inside at how his kisses seemed to warm her entire body.

God, sitting here and kissing Clementine like this was such an amazing feeling, Louis thought he would die happy even if it was all they did, and he absent-mindedly let the condom slip from his right hand onto the floor so he could properly caress her torso with his hand, earning more adorable giggles from her. His confidence was boosted and he couldn't help it, he let a hand slowly slip under her shirt to continue the caresses. Clementine gasped quietly and withdrew her left hand to tug at his shirt, her cheeks flushing at his hand caressing her beneath her top. Somehow, she felt his hand withdrawing again, running up her arm and softly grabbing it to pull slightly back, and she gave him a wondering gaze.

"Clem…" his voice was lightly shaking.

"Before we… do anything, I just want you to know…" he paused and rubbed his thumbs over her hands. "I don't want you to think that… you have to do this… you know? If you got the impression that… I expect this…" He paused again and gave her a sincere stare. Clementine swallowed and furrowed her brow, and released her hold on his shirt a little, waiting for him to finish.

"I'm just saying… I wouldn't love you less if you… didn't really want to do this."

Louis spoke the last words with a tiny smile, a smile that slowly dropped in exchange for widened eyes when he realized what he'd just said. Clementine blinked her eyes at him and her cheeks burned at his gaze, and he cleared his throat while looking away, his hands lightly gripping at her own.

"Ah, shit… I didn't mean to… say it like that…" He met her eyes again and gave a sheepish look, and she felt at a loss for words, having no idea how to respond to what had just been revealed.

Louis… loved her? Sure, they were dating, but she hadn't really thought about or expected to hear those words yet… before it now just went and happened.

"Louis…" was all that came from her after a moment of silence, and Louis seemed to jolt out of his own silence at that, responding with "Clem…" and tightening his hold on her hands.

"Now that it's out… guess I'll say it properly…" he shifted himself an inch closer and straightened himself to look more confident, when really his body was trembling at the whole situation, and he prayed she couldn't tell how both excited and vulnerable he felt.

"Clementine…" he paused again to look her properly in the eye.

"… I love you."

Clementine released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, looking down at her hands resting in his grip while her heart once more pounded in her chest.

"Louis, I…" she forced herself to speak up, to say something, even if it'd just be nonsense, but she barely got to before Louis leaned forward and silenced her with another kiss.

"It's okay, Clem…" he said, inches from her lips and kissed her again.

"I just sprang this on you. … You don't have to say it back." He still gazed intently at her as if to convince her he meant it, before finding her lips again. Clementine got the sense he was kissing her right now, not so much out of desire than it was to silence her as if he was afraid of what she would say back. She wasn't even sure herself what she would have, and indulged in his attempt to ignore it. After another few seconds of kissing, she pulled back and returned his gaze from before, trying to hide her agitated breathing at how hot her body was, and had to believe it was the same for him.

"Okay…" she whispered in reply, then pulled her hands back to meet his fingers with her own.

"But just so you know… I do… want to do this with you…" A tiny smile grew with her blush, and she pursed her lips at the adorable face Louis made, his eyes widening again and lips parting in surprise, before his cheeks darkened and he looked away in shyness. A small smile grew on his lips then too, and he moved his hands to grip at her hip, then slowly further up to caress her just below her chest. Clementine suppressed a tiny giggle in her throat and slipped her own hand under his shirt this time. Louis' skin jolted ever so slightly under her touch and he met her gaze with that expression again that made her heart burst, the shy one that still revealed a desire he was doing his best to contain.

"Okay…" he whispered, his voice trembling, and Clementine found his lips again, kissing him with more intensity than she'd felt before, letting her right hand run over his torso beneath his shirt. Louis answered by caressing her own torso with his hands, and a tiny yelp escaped her mouth when his grip tightened so he could push her onto her back. His bold move was followed by a shy chuckle and a playful snuggle against her neck, and Clementine giggled back while letting her arms find their way around his back, still under his shirt. Her smile faded to give way for more nervous breaths as Louis lowered his head to place gentle kisses by her collarbone. Her hands ran down his back to tug at his shirt, and Louis took the hint and slowly pulled it off.

Clementine would have liked to read in a magazine, or ask some of the women she had known, how the first time was supposed to be like. She supposed she had been too young to know about it or care at the time, and even if she had thought of it, would she have believed it would even happen, in the kind of world this was? But here she was, and she had to believe the first time was meant to be awkward and difficult. How could it not be?

At the same time, Clementine hadn't imagined such a feeling existed. Over the years, she had felt, not only so much emotional, but also physical pain, being shot at, stabbed, axed and finally having half a leg amputated. To feel the kind of sensation with Louis here that started as pain, but eventually blended with a little pleasure, was a nice deviation from all other agony she'd felt that had been just that; agony and nothing else. The pain she felt this night was a pain she supposed one was meant to feel at some point, a pain meaning she was taking one of the steps into womanhood, a pain that came with the person she loved, a person who regretted giving her this pain and even apologized for it.

Clementine didn't know if she was being silly for thinking of her first time in such a way, but she didn't care, it had just sprung to her mind, and it traced a tiny smile on her face as she dug her face into Louis' neck and enjoyed the comforting warmth of their bodies intertwined.

After a few minutes it was over, and Louis snuggled against her neck while he breathed into her skin and she lifted a hand to caress his head and run through his dreads while placing soft kisses against his forehead. A moment of silence passed, his breaths the only sound present, and Clementine at a loss of what to say. What was she supposed to say?

"… you okay?" she heard herself blurting out after a few seconds, and immediately felt dumb for it. Louis' breaths turned into a quiet chuckle against the nape of her neck, and he braved himself to lift his head and meet her gaze. Clementine swallowed a breath at his expression that was a mix of dazed contentment and yet concern, and she lifted a hand to brush some fingertips against the soft skin of his cheeks.

"Am I…?" he paused and pushed a few strains of hair from her face in return. "I'm sorry…" he averted his gaze in embarrassment and shifted to lie next to her, quickly covering her with the blanket in what appeared a consoling gesture. Clementine slowly abided and gave him a questioning look while pulling the blanket over herself.

"I wanted it to be… good for you too. I didn't mean to… I mean…" he frowned and kept avoiding her gaze with a flustered expression. Clementine chuckled softly and leaned towards him to place a quick, yet tender kiss on his lips.

"Hey…" she whispered. "We're new at this, remember…" she smiled and kissed him again as he finally looked at her, a trembling gaze still meeting her own.

"And I did enjoy it some…" she lowered her gaze and felt her cheeks heat at Louis' eyes slightly widening in return, a whispered "Really…?" released under his breath before he shifted closer and rubbed a freckled nose against her cheek.

"Really…" she whispered back and kissed him softly below his eye, then grabbed his arm and slowly placed it around her waist like she had done when he had been sleeping, but this time, he was awake and answered by tightly embracing her torso, finally braving a smile at her at the ecstatic feeling still brimming inside of the two having just done this together. It came with a feeling of a most pleasant tiredness as well, something he realized was mutual as Clementine's own eyes lidded at the late hour of the night catching up to them. She slowly turned away and softly grabbed his hands resting in front of her, and they were left gently caressing each other's fingers while tiredness draped their minds.

"Louis..?" Five minutes of the pleasant silence passed, and Clementine spoke up, wondering if she was too late and he already was asleep.

"Mmhmm…" a soft mumble came from him, as he clearly wasn't too far off. Clementine looked at his fingers in front of her tangled with her own, and gave them a light squeeze.

"I love you too."

---

"Rabbit stew again? What, we ran out of the delicious frog meat?"

Willy lifted the spoon to his face and grimaced at it, and made a show of how slowly he downed its contents before he jolted and looked away at the glare Omar sent him.

"You not happy, kid, go along on a hunt and bring down a huge deer, will you? I'd love to cook that for you all." He sighed before taking his place next to Violet and Aasim while Ruby at Willy's side raised a scolding eyebrow at him in support of Omar's comment. Willy frowned in regret and picked at his food while mumbling "I'm sorry…".

Omar sighed. "It's okay, kid. … Even though I cook it, I get tired of rabbit too." He offered Willy a smile who shot a grin back, a grin that dropped again when a throat was cleared at the opposite side of him.

"You know, Omar, you can get out there and hunt a deer too if you're unhappy."

Aasim remarked and shook his head before casually moving his fork to his mouth as if he hadn't just added more fuel to the discussion.

"And leave the cooking to whom? You and Willy who can't cook an egg without a recipe-"

"Sooo since we're having a nice bonding session…" Louis spoke up which caught the attention of the table as he had stayed silent for the past 10 minutes – very unlike of him.

Louis noticed the stares falling on him and cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks heat slightly at gathering the attention he had tried to avoid up until now.

"Me and AJ, believe it or not… actually saw some foot prints from deer in the woods about… two days ago?"

AJ smiled enthusiastically next to him and added, "It's true! But…" he glanced up at Louis.

"I thought you said it wasn't a big deal?"

"Well, you see… we found out those tracks were probably a day old or so, didn't we? The thing about deer is, they're really good at listening and hiding… you need some serious hunting skills to get one. And since the foot prints were so old, that deer is long gone by now." Louis raised a hand to pat AJ's head and saw the agreeing, yet regretful looks of the others, their minds wandering at the thought of a whole deer to feed them.

"However…" Louis spoke up again and hoped his voice wasn't shaking at how self-conscious he was feeling this morning.

"Seeing as it's proof we do have deer wandering the forest around us… it might not be a bad idea to try and spend some time tracking them and figure out some specific traps… I mean…" he cleared his throat again and flickered his gaze downwards when keeping Aasim or Violet's eye contact became too much, when thankfully the latter spoke up.

"I agree." Violet nodded towards the others. "I don't think a deer trap is too different from the ones we use for rabbits. You just have to snare the leg… right?"

"Yeah…" Aasim spoke up in a contemplating, but quiet tone, hinting he wasn't too convinced of the possibility. "Suppose there really is deer out there moving around and it wasn't just a rare one simply coming through… but if we placed some by areas it seems logic for deer to come and graze…"

Clementine half-listened to the conversation and breathed a sigh of relief that Louis had spoken up. The awkward silence that had followed them from her room to the breakfast table seemed to loom over them like a cloud, she was certain it was obvious to everyone what had occurred. Or rather, that they'd realize they had been wrong before and her and Louis had actually done it now.

Clementine had been prepared to act like nothing and casually interact with everyone as always, but the proximity of Louis next to her just made her heart flutter and hands tremble, her insides somersaulting at the thought of last night and the happiness she felt from their mutual confessions that she had to force herself not to simply sit there and grin like an idiot. She had truthfully hoped AJ would sit between them not to be right next to Louis to avoid the pressing closeness the morning after, but no luck there as AJ was already seated in the middle next to Ruby, forcing her to sit at the end with Louis.

And judging by Louis' own silence and slight shaking of his hand that she noticed while he ate, occasionally stealing glances at her while the corner of his mouth twitched upwards before he pursed his lips to avoid too big of a smile, it was the same for him.

Clementine jolted out of her thoughts when warm skin brushed against her hand beneath the table. She turned to see Louis' subdued smile as he slowly ran his hand over hers and softly squeezed her fingers. Clementine realized Aasim and Violet were talking right now, having caught the attention of the table as they continued the discussion of possible deer traps, which had apparently made Louis so temporary bold. She allowed herself to return his smile, softly tangling her fingers with his while absent-mindedly picking at her food with the spoon in her other hand, and neither of them realized the small boy next to Louis staring at them.

"Hey, Clem?"

She and Louis jolted their hands apart and awkwardly stared at their food with both heart beats increasing, having unknowingly been caught up in their little held gaze and immediately wondering how obvious they had looked right now. Clementine saw Aasim still talking and blinked her eyes at the slight shock before clearing her throat and giving AJ a smile that was perhaps a bit too big.

"Yes, goofball? Um… what's up?"

She watched as AJ glanced between her and Louis and a smile grew on his lips, and felt the sudden dread hit her.

"Just so you know… I wouldn't mind a little brother or sister."

The table went quiet.

Clementine's eyes turned wide. Louis covered his mouth as he coughed up the stew he just swallowed.

AJ turned to his bowl and continued eating and smiling like nothing, an unmistakable devious look to his eye.

Clementine looked at Louis.

Louis looked at Clementine.

The entire table looked at them. Some had their mouths agape.

Clementine frowned at Louis. He gave a resigned, yet somehow slightly amused look back.

Clementine sighed.

Guess it was time for her to explain a whole lot more than she had ever signed up for doing.

---

Author's note: For the sake of the story, let's ignore that condoms IRL have expirations dates. Or wouldn't that have been a twist ending? T_T

I really hope the "condoms left at Ericsons" didn't sound too farfetched, lmao. In my mind it sounded like it could give just as much sense as conveniently having an old pharmacy nearby to raid for the things XD

Anyways, if you stuck through this thing to the end, thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave a review if you have the time, they are much appreciated!