I can't tell if this is Eowyn or Ealyn talking, but either way it makes
sense. Although Amara keeps trying to take credit- I can't tell if she
even has anything to do with this situation. Ah well- I'll say it's Eowyn
for the moment and change my mind later.
I don't own much of anything, of course, and I don't expect anyone to think I do. When I own something, I will gladly post it in my disclaimers.
Watch out!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As I watch out the window, I realize exactly how much of my life has passed by me. Times like these really demonstrate my weakness- how touchy I can be, how demanding. It takes only a minute for me to consider the breakdown until I find the same old condition in myself: I am not myself, and I am not whole.
I guess I've known for a long time. Even as a little girl, it was always never enough to be on this side of the window- to look out at the great world and wonder if I had a part in it. I doubt if anybody ever notices when I sit here and look outside, feeling as if everything is caving in on me. Yet here I am, wondering-waiting for a sign. Anything to tell me what I long to hear: my fate is not to be here, waiting for the inevitable. Yet I still hear the call of eternity, glaring at me- singing on the other side of the window. And it is then that I know for sure what my lot in life is. To remain here, a shattered remnant of the person I long to be. Broken.
Broken.
That is surely the best word to describe myself, though. I am incomplete as long as I remain- yet, without leave, I have no will to go either. I am broken as they come. I have torn myself to pieces.
You see, I have only now realized another thing. I have discovered love. This has been true for weeks now. Every time I try to tell him, though, another piece breaks off and I cannot. This is another part of my curse, my bane: to be broken alone.
I've been hiding it since I realized, hoping it is not discovered, for at the moment it is seen that is surely the end of me. There is no hope in my endeavor-
Ironic, isn't it? There surely is no hope there.
Amazingly, it is no unpleasant thing to love hope, to be broken. It is quite bearable to hold, so long as those around you cannot guess the secret of your heart. Thus I keep it silent, knowing that not he- not anybody- can understand.
I've been looking out this window- for hours now, I think, though I cannot be sure. It has gone to sunrise from the darkness I just saw and whispered to in my pain. Oh yes, I tell my heart to the night, for the night alone will keep my secret. But with the dawn comes a kind of fearsome cry and a warning: I must not linger here overlong, or they will find me and try to talk me into their ways, which would crack me anymore.
And I am, as I said, already broken.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Again, I reiterate that I have no idea who this really is, but I will attribute it to Eowyn because she is the one whispering in my ear right now. Whatever the truth is, this isn't great: nor is it meant to be. It's just a simple one-shot deal that came into my mind for absolutely no reason.
R/R, or don't. I really don't care.
I don't own much of anything, of course, and I don't expect anyone to think I do. When I own something, I will gladly post it in my disclaimers.
Watch out!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As I watch out the window, I realize exactly how much of my life has passed by me. Times like these really demonstrate my weakness- how touchy I can be, how demanding. It takes only a minute for me to consider the breakdown until I find the same old condition in myself: I am not myself, and I am not whole.
I guess I've known for a long time. Even as a little girl, it was always never enough to be on this side of the window- to look out at the great world and wonder if I had a part in it. I doubt if anybody ever notices when I sit here and look outside, feeling as if everything is caving in on me. Yet here I am, wondering-waiting for a sign. Anything to tell me what I long to hear: my fate is not to be here, waiting for the inevitable. Yet I still hear the call of eternity, glaring at me- singing on the other side of the window. And it is then that I know for sure what my lot in life is. To remain here, a shattered remnant of the person I long to be. Broken.
Broken.
That is surely the best word to describe myself, though. I am incomplete as long as I remain- yet, without leave, I have no will to go either. I am broken as they come. I have torn myself to pieces.
You see, I have only now realized another thing. I have discovered love. This has been true for weeks now. Every time I try to tell him, though, another piece breaks off and I cannot. This is another part of my curse, my bane: to be broken alone.
I've been hiding it since I realized, hoping it is not discovered, for at the moment it is seen that is surely the end of me. There is no hope in my endeavor-
Ironic, isn't it? There surely is no hope there.
Amazingly, it is no unpleasant thing to love hope, to be broken. It is quite bearable to hold, so long as those around you cannot guess the secret of your heart. Thus I keep it silent, knowing that not he- not anybody- can understand.
I've been looking out this window- for hours now, I think, though I cannot be sure. It has gone to sunrise from the darkness I just saw and whispered to in my pain. Oh yes, I tell my heart to the night, for the night alone will keep my secret. But with the dawn comes a kind of fearsome cry and a warning: I must not linger here overlong, or they will find me and try to talk me into their ways, which would crack me anymore.
And I am, as I said, already broken.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Again, I reiterate that I have no idea who this really is, but I will attribute it to Eowyn because she is the one whispering in my ear right now. Whatever the truth is, this isn't great: nor is it meant to be. It's just a simple one-shot deal that came into my mind for absolutely no reason.
R/R, or don't. I really don't care.