A/N: read a/n at bottom, you may want to listen to little talks while reading this. not edited properly.
Dearest Ally,
Will you be there when I reach the gates? I know I'll see you soon. It's been a while now. It's lonely and the world is grey. The house is old and empty. That reminds me of something.
Or a night.
I remember that night when we went into the abandoned house for the first time. Our place. I held your hand for the whole night. You said you didn't like, I quote, walking around this old and empty house. So I smiled at you, regardless of the fact that it was dark and the only source of light was the moon peeking through the broken windows and floorboards via the roof. I told you these exact words: So hold my hand and I'll walk with you, my dear.
We decided to camp there for the night as it was to prove you were brave enough. I wonder who started that? I hope you catch my sarcasm. I certainly miss yours.
You told me the stairs creaked as I slept and that it was keeping you awake, and me being tired and wanting you to stay still next to me replied with:
"It's the house telling you to close your eyes." And so you did. But I didn't want you to.
"Some days I can't even trust myself." You would say to yourself when you had a broken heart. But more recently when you simply forgot. Me. Music. Even your own name. Even I had to help you play the piano. You couldn't see me cry. You couldn't hear me repeat the words.
"It's killing me to see you this way." Que the drops of my tears.
It started with the forgetting what colour my eyes were. Hazel with a touch of gold sparkle, you would always say. You raked your hand through your hair which was slightly grey, and you started to break down. I sighed knowing once it has happened, it doesn't stop. I learnt that the hard way, trying to change the natural path of life.
Even as I retell these wonderful stories I could never retell them as perfectly as you did, because though the truth may vary. This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore. Of course, you shouldn't be waiting much longer.
Sometimes I hear your voice saying to hold on, it's holding me back. But I can't. Can't you see? I'm trying to find you. Am I going insane? I hope not. Well I'll tell you that I miss our little talks. About the moon, our future and meaningless conversations which actually meant a lot.
You know Alls? Soon it will be over and buried with our past.
But we used to play outside when we were young. I would bring an instrument and you would tell me sweet nothings.
"I hope we remember, well when we're older that you were full of life and I was full of love." That certainly hits my heart. I know you remember that one.
"Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right." You would cry out when you would try to play a simple scale. I remember. You tried to play it so hard, the frustration on your face wasn't hard to know if you were faking this. But deep down, I wish you were. Then I would tell you your mind was playing tricks on you, my dear.
The bitter nostalgia of how I was the hopeless one and you were the reliable one just switched. I had to become you, to help you. If you catch my drift. I can hear you laughing at my stupidity even if I'm as old as the faded pictures around our house.
I hated it so much when you would lash out on no one. You would start to cry and lie on the ground, all because you forgot my name. You would spot me and my concerned face, walk up to me and repeat these words, every single day. You would tell me to not listen to a word you say, because some part of you knew this would be how my life would be.
No matter how hard you tried, the screams all sounded the same. My name, my eye colour, how to hold my hand.
But I knew you were gone, and I all I did was watching you disappear. I'm sorry I couldn't save you from yourself, my dear. I'm sorry, do you know how much my heart breaks thinking of you?
Now all that's left is a ghost of you. You came into my life not knowing why I was in your life, and left that way. It's a pity I never told you who I was by the end. You told me I was talented and that I looked familiar. You complimented me singing a song you wrote. Did you know which one it was? Let me give you a hint: You're the perfect chord. You sat on our bench without knowing the memories that played into my eyes always had you in it.
"Whoever wrote that song for you must've loved you so much. Don't let that love fade..." You smiled as you said those words with ease, as if you had just met me. I smiled and nodded as I shuffled closer to you on the piano bench. I told you I would never let that love fade because I forgot at the worst of times. But now we're torn apart, there's nothing we can do. So I let you go, too soon. But we will meet again soon won't we? Another day right, Alls?
So dearest Ally, will you be there when I reach the gates? Find me at every opportunity and I will love you until eternity. Do I need to prove that to you? Because I would and will sacrifice everything for someone I love unconditionally. I know I'll see you soon. It's lonely and the world is grey.
Until next time,
Austin Moon, the guy who stole you from your parents.
A/N: This was random, I've had this idea for a while... it's based on little talks by of monsters and men and a slight midwinterblood by marcus sedgewick which I very much so recommend to listen to and to read. I don't own anything and the answer to Mallory's death will come soon, probably around x-mas.