I looked at the Malteasers. I looked at Phil. Then back at the Malteasers. My eyes slowly slid to Phil's face, and I just couldn't stop myself from looking at his perfect features, which were now curved into one of his cute playful grins. His little tongue was poking out of his mouth as he said "Just give me the remote, Dan…Pass me the remote and you will get these sweet, delicious, chocolaty …"I tuned Phil's voice out and turned my gaze towards the pack of Malteasers that was held up above his head, and seemed to look at me pleadingly and say 'Save us Dan… Just give him the remote… Please…' I looked down at the remote in my arms. Should I give it to him for the Malteasers? I mean, the deal is worth it, because I don't even need the remote right now, and some heavenly Malteasers would be great. But on the other hand, if I gave him the remote, I would how those tempting chocolates, but I would lose precious looking-at-Phil time…. "Dan… Are you there Dan? Halloo, Earth to Dan…" Phil's smooth voice cut into my little mental debate. "Man, you zoned out right there, what exactly were you thinking about? Llamas? Come on, JUST PASS ME THE FLIPPING REMOTE" Phil exclaimed as I failed to take notice of him and purposely unfocused my eyes again. Then I gave a gasp. It wasn't every day that you heard God-damn Phil SWEAR. Even if it was a mild swear. It just wasn't… wasn't Phil. When Phil swore, it was like the fluffiest puppy you can imagine suddenly sprouting 3cm fangs and snapping at you. It just wasn't right. I stared at Phil in shock. He stared back, but his eyes were bright and alive with amusement at my surprised expression.
"I like your Magicarp impression" Phil giggled. "It suits you". This snapped me right out of my internal dialogue. My mouth gaped slightly wider, making him chuckle. God, that laugh. Wait, did I just think that? I smacked myself mentally. Then, just as I was about to slap myself once more, I got a brilliant idea.
"Well," I smiled smugly. "If you think I make such a good Magicarp," I slowly edged myself towards the sink." I should behave like one too."Lightning fast, I threw down the remote and cupped some water into my hands. I shot a quick glance at Phil, and his confused expression was to die for. "SPLASH ATTACK!" I yelled triumphantly as I flicked some of the dirty dishwater at Phil making him shriek the shriek of a 6-year-old girl. He made a start towards his bedroom, supposedly to lock himself in, but he stopped in his tracks, causing me to collide with him, and splash the rest of the water all over his back. " SHITTING DICK NIPPLES PHIL! Why the Hell did you stop?!" I was faking anger to make him apologize; It almost always worked. "Look what I did to your favourite MUSE shirt!" Indeed, bits of old food and splotches of brown, muddy dishwater soaked the sparkling clean back of his new, favourite, MUSE shirt. Phil gave a sigh. His eyes watered up, and for a moment I thought he was actually going to cry. " Look Philly, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your favourite shirt, I'm sorry!" This time was my turn to break down, because I really hated making my little Philly cry. Then, to my ultimate and maximum surprise, Phil burst out laughing.
"Wait...What?" I was totally confused as to why he found it funny that his favourite Muse shirt was covered with soggy bits of leftover. The thoughtful expression on my face but have been hilarious, as Phil erupted in a new wave of chuckles. Slowly, I chuckled myself. My face must have been priceless.