Title: Purpose
Author: Anney
Pairing: None
Warning: Open speculation! None of this could be in any way true, but I hate not knowing so why not make something up for myself? It's not like I can be stopped. grins
Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada.
A/N: Brought about by two of my really good friends, Cyd and Nevi, which means I totally blame them both! So, any problems totally not my fault.
Summary: He knows what side he's on now, and he knows what his purpose is in life. (It's all about the Peter, ya know.)
Purpose
He was five when she died. He has faint recollections of soft hands and long pale hair. He doesn't remember why she died, all he can recall is one moment she was bright eyed laughter and the next she was unmoving coldness. He misses her more than anything else he can ever remember, she was all he had. She was the only thing he ever wanted.
He grows up alone after that. Surrounded by adults that don't care for him, locked in a house that's so quiet all the time. He doesn't know what true noise is like until he goes to Hogwarts. Every thing about Hogwarts makes him realize that his home is nothing like he ever wants to go back too. He loves the colors, the way the castle feels alive around him as he wanders through the halls.
He meets three other boys who are so full of life and he's amazed by their acceptance of him. How they welcome into a group with no questions asked, no reasons needed. He loves the colors of his house, and wraps himself up in the color red so tight he thinks that he'll never let go. He opens up to the world around him, and is thrilled with the things he finds.
Years go by and he's locked into a group of boys that are better than him, that don't see him as clearly anymore. He fades away into the background once more and he wonders what he did wrong to make it that way. There's girls and boys all around and yet he sits on the edge of darkness and nurses wounds that no one knows they caused.
The world breaks out into war and every one talks about it but he can't join in. Every one out yells him, out opinion-ates him, they beat him to what he means to say and he's pushed further away from what he once knew. There's no one to talk to anymore. It's only uneasy silence when he tries to voice what he knows.
He looks for acceptance, for truth, for the best side to be on and the people he leaves are happy to see him go. And yet, there were people that had noticed him, they saw when he tried to share his thoughts. They knew when he tried to raise his voice and they took the time to listen even if he never caught them in the act. They came to him and asked him questions. He didn't have to go very far for people that wanted to know what he thought, for people that cared about what he wanted to say.
In the end it's an easy choice really. There's some people that want him and some people that don't. There's one side that will win and there's one side that won't. He's only ever wanted to live and every thing that makes him feel alive leaves him in the end. He thinks that maybe it's time for him to decide what makes his life worth living through. He might not believe in every cause he rallies behind, but he does believe in acceptance. He knows what it's like to be ignored, to be unwanted, to be passed by so often.
He doesn't really know if he makes the right choice but he feels like it's his only one to be made with the world going crazy all around him. Not every choice is the best one but once made it can't be taken back. He holds a child with green eyes in his arms and smiles, this is the last time he'll see this face and the last time he'll see these people that he knows really don't care about him. He knows that it might hurt a little at first, but he's made his choice. He knows what side he's on now, and he knows what his purpose is in life.
end