Hello loves! So, before we can get it started there are some things I want you to know.
FIRST: This is the very first fanfic I write, so PLEEEEEASE be nice to me! Which means, help me know where I'm screwing it up and how do you think I can fix it, also If you're liking the story and the way it's going.
SECOND: I'm Brazilian so please forgive my English mistakes; I'm trying to be the most careful person while writing so the quality of the text is not compromised by any language mistakes. But sometimes this just may happen, so please forgive me and feel free to correct me (That would actually be a favor).
THIRD: I'm not a huuuuuuuuuuuge trekie, but I'm a big fan of the series and stuff, and I KNOW that Into Darkness is FAR from being perfect (or to some even good) when it comes to canon, and I know that that Kahn isn't actually Kahn (in my opinion)… but I'm a helpless fan of Benedict Cumberbatch and despite all the things I really like his Kahn, so I'm using his image for my Kahn. And I also believe is nice to say I toyed a little with the canon ages, decided to make Kahn a little older then he is on the canon by the time it happens.
Thanks a lot to my lovelly beta, Alethnya who is also the person who inspired me (check her work), the lovelly Xaraphis and my almost sister QueenBee (AO3) who made all of this possible.
Finally, enjoy! :)
Russia - 1972
It was about three in the morning, but she couldn't sleep. She was now seven years old and about to begin her training. Earlier that day, she was told she would have to leave for the train units. She wasn't expecting it; not that day, not so soon.
Her attention was caught by a woman in a long robe by the door, her long, black, curly hair falling over one of her shoulders, her green eyes gazing at the girl. She noticed that they were a little red, but decided not to ask.
"Anya, go to bed. You need to be rested for tomorrow," the woman said in a soft but firm voice. "Have you already packed your belongings?"
"Yes, I have…did I wake you up?"
"No, I just came to check on you," the woman took a deep breath, "since it's your last day here. Why are you awake? Are you nervous?"
"I cannot sleep." Anya took a deep breath before continuing. "Not really…I mean, I have always known this was going to happen eventually...but actually leaving is…I am going to miss you, mother," she said, lowering her voice at the last part.
The woman widened her eyes for a second and bit on her lower lip before she took a deep breath. "This situation has been planned for us since the day I decided to have you and that cannot be changed…" Her voice trembled a little, but Anya didn't notice. "Now, to bed!" the woman said quickly, trying to mask her now growing discomfort.
"Yes, mother," Anya said as she walked to her bed and laid down, quickly settling herself.
The woman approached her and settled by Anya's side, petting the girl's hair, humming a lullaby till the little one slowly closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
"I am going to miss you too, my love," the woman said in a whisper as she stood up and walked out of the room, letting a lonely tear roll from the corner or her eye.
The next morning
"Have you got everything you wish to keep?" Dr. Marishka Petrova asked Anya.
"Yes, mother, I have," the girl answered as she showed her mother her huge bag.
"Anya, look," Marishka said as she knelt in front of her daughter, putting her hands on the girl's shoulders and looking straight into her eyes, "the place you are going now is nothing like here. There, you are going to be trained to serve your purpose as a warrior. There, you shall find others like you…but you must be even stronger, faster and brighter. It does not matter how much you bleed, you must ALWAYS be the best. You may be young now, but you have what is needed to be a leader and a queen – and that is what you must be. You were born to always be on top. Don't ever let anyone or anything stand in your way. Promise me that."
"I…promise, mother," she swallowed hard. "I promise that no matter how much I bleed and how many I have to take down, I shall be on top. I shall be great."
Marishka smiled and passed her fingers through her daughter's hair, stopping at her face to cup her cheek with one hand. "I know I told you to always be on top and to take down anyone in your way, but…, "she bit her lip, "the most important thing I want you to get from this new life is a family." She smiled. "Make friends – they shall become your family and if possible, find a companion. Warriors always fight better when they fight to protect the ones they love."
"I do not think I understand, mother…," the girl frowned, "you are my family. Why should I get another one?"
Marishka swallowed hard and took a deep breath before answering. "Because I shall never see you again." A pause. "Even though I am part of this research, I do not believe they will let me see you because I raised you as my daughter…and they believe," another pause, "they believe I have come to care for you. So you are going to be alone from now on. That is why I want you to find a family of your own, so you will never be alone," she said gently, caressing the girl's cheek.
"Have you?" the girl asked in a whisper, gazing at her feet.
"Have I what?" Marishka asked, confused.
"Come to care for me…"
The woman put her fingers on the child's chin and softly raised it so they could face each other. "Of course I have, even though I tried not to. She smiled. "You are my daughter and you always shall be. But we both must be strong and go our separate ways," she said, forcing herself not to cry.
Truth be told, Marishka had always tried not to care. When she decided to give birth to one of the genetically engineered children that were being produced, she did it for science – or so she thought. It was never her intention to care for her child. Now, having only a few minutes left with her daughter, she realized how miserably she had failed.
"Mother…"
"Here," Marishka said as she took off her necklace, "take this as a reminder of me. Keep it for the times you feel you need me. Eventually, I believe you will not miss me or anything you had here. You will move on and have a new life," she smiled and put the necklace on her daughter.
"Thank you. Mother…can I say something?" the girl asked, now gazing deep into the woman's eyes.
"Anything you wish to, Anya," the woman said, smiling.
"I love you."
Marishka froze; in all seven years of her daughter's existence, they had never exchanged those words. A few times, she had whispered it to Anya while she slept, but actually saying it out loud so the other could hear? Never.
Not holding back her tears, Marishka pulled her daughter into an embrace. With one hand on the back of her daughter's hair and the other on her little waist, she kissed her hair while Anya burrowed her face into her mother's neck as she held her back.
"I love you too, darling. I always have. Forgive me for being such a horrible mother and for never telling you."
After a few moments, Anya pulled away from her mother's hold and, looking into the woman's eyes, she smiled. "It is ok, mother; you have done the best you could. Now I believe it is time for me to go."
The woman smiled back and nodded, getting up and drying the tears from her eyes. A few minutes later, both were facing a group of four men and women that had come to take Anya to her training.
"Dr. Petrova, it is time for us to leave with the girl," a woman from the group said, "say your goodbyes."
Gathering her strength, Marishka bent down to give Anya a hug. "I love you and I will always think of you. Be strong and keep your promises," she whispered in the girl's ear.
"I will. I love you too, mother," the girl whispered back.
As soon as they were apart, Anya took her bag and started walking to the car. As soon as her things were in the trunk, she jumped into the car, one of the men closing the door behind her.
"Where is she being taken?" Marishka asked the woman.
"For now, she is staying in Russia – don't know for how long."
"And then?"
"Who knows…" the officer answered looking down
"Thank you, officer," she said, nodding.
The woman nodded and went to the car Anya was in, entering the driver's side, starting the car and leaving, the other car following after.
Anya looked back at her mother and the woman raised a hand and smiled. A few second later, she was out of the girl's sight. The girl looked to the boy sitting next to her in the car – he seemed to be a little older then her; a year, maybe, no more than two. He was staring out the window and as soon as he realized he was being watched turned to her.
"Hello!" the boy said, smiling at her.
She couldn't help being a little surprised – she wasn't actually expecting him to talk, much less smile. "Hello…," she said, a little confused.
"My name is Otto – what is yours?"
Anya didn't want to, but she was sad, and more than that, scared. She always knew that day would come, but now that it was happening, she realized she wasn't ready for this. At least, her beginning had been better than she thought. Otto had a big bright smile and suddenly she felt her chest warm from that energy he had. Why was she feeling like this? Could she trust him? Knowing her next action could change everything from that moment she smiled back.
Sooooooooo, this is it!
I hope you liked it and keep reading.
I'll do my best to update it every two weeks or so.
Once again, thank you to my lovely almost sister QueenBee, my amazing beta Alethnya and my dear friend Xaraphis.
This wouldn't be here If it wasn't for you.
All of them are amazing writters, check their works!
Please review, follow and favorite If you feel like.
Lots of love, see you next chapter.