A/N: Hi FF world, so this is my first story and I hope you like it! Be kind and review! xoxo

I sometimes think about the thoughts of others. Like when I'm standing in a room surrounded by people and yet feel completely alone. I look at them and think of their lives, the small little worlds that they have created for themselves. And I wonder as the talk and laugh and flirt and dance, as John takes Amy's hand and leads her upstairs; what does that feel like? Living. The touch of Amy's soft skin against the callous texture of John's hand. Everyone in the room around me has created an illusion of what life should be and how they should live, and its blinded them. They are so focussed on trying to live that they miss the fact that they are doing it without thought or prior rehearsal. They are doing it everyday. It is this that distanced me from all of the others in the room; I am aware of the beautiful unrehearsed laughs and touches of others. While they just see it as a floored basis that could always be improved, made better, cooler, more fashionable or simply more interesting. Yet they fail to see the that the simple instinctive interactions with others needed no improvement.

It is pure beauty.

'Hey, it's your turn.'

I glance over at Caroline and the smouldering joint she is waving in my face. We are at a party, I forget whose now. Caroline bought weed off of a white guy who clearly wished he was black.

I took in Caroline's face as I do many times when stoned. She isn't classically beautiful, many feel that her eccentric nature is part of her way of covering the fact that she is in fact just plain. Yet I know that under the semi permanent lavender hair dye is light, sandy blonde hair and that underneath the make up that is not starting to flake off, she has forty eight freckles. I counted them once. I think there are twenty two on her left cheek, fourteen on her right and twelve on her forehead.

At the moment, in the dark and smokey confines of the room it is difficult to see the colour of her bloodshot eyes, but I know that they are green. Olive green with specs of amber to be precise. We had a staring contest once.

'God I hate how pensive you are when you are stoned.' her mouth moves as she speaks and I see her crooked row of teeth along her lower jaw.

'Elena take the fucking joint before I take said joint and find another girl to enjoy it with.' I smile at her and accept the drugs she is offering me. Her remark wasn't an insult to my friendship. Caroline is a lesbian, well actually bisexual. She has a boyfriend, Tyler, who greatly enjoys this fact as the majority of the times that they have sex, another woman tends to be present. Tyler is a dick.

I turn back to the party as I inhale on the joint. Everyone who isn't completely stoned like me and caroline are looking in one direction. Damon Salvatore. Of course. The guy tried to kill himself last year and now he is the only goldfish worth looking at in the tank of society. I blow a smoke ring and the perspective makes it appear like a halo surrounding his head. That could just be the drugs though.

He is average height, although I am sitting on the floor leaning against the radiator so he could be taller. I think I remember him being taller. From down here his hair looks almost purple but as he walks through the room I see that it is in fact onyx coloured. This is odd as my observations are rarely wrong. Maybe its the drugs. I can't see and I can't remember what colour his eyes are. I should have a staring contest with him. I lift the joint to my lips once again after this thought and watch as he awkwardly shuffles towards the drinks area. As I am exhaling Caroline plucks the still- burning joint out of my hand and takes her own deep inhale.

'He looks lost.' I mutter this absentmindedly and turn to Caroline who is transfixed on a different sight completely. Bekkah. Her name is actually Rebekkah but one day she suddenly decided that she thought Bekkah sounded cuter. I think Caroline fucked her once while they were both completely out of it. Caroline still maintains that it was the best sex she has ever had and so whenever she sees her at parties, the air around her immediately turns thick with need and arousal. As Caroline inhales on the joint while still staring I cant help but think: she must be a really good fuck.

Caroline and I are both absorbed studying the moves and interactions of these beautiful creatures, I lean back against the radiator as a new wave of light headedness from the drugs hits me. The moment is interrupted as Tyler decides to join us. Tyler is quite stupid and therefore cannot tell when someone is having a deep introspective. This explains why he sees no issue in drunkenly slumping down on the floor next to us. It is either that or he is feeling horny and wants Caroline.

I'm guessing it is the second as he is now running his hand up Caroline's bare thigh. His thumb is close to the hem of her skirt so I elbow her gently to get her out of her Bekkah haze.

'Hey Tyler' I offer as she turns to away towards him. Tyler mumbles something that I think is supposed to be a greeting but it is muffled as his lips are now secured on Caroline's neck while she just gazes out onto the makeshift dance floor. I gaze down and now see that Tyler's hand has made it past the hem of her skirt and take this as my cue to leave.

I grab the joint, lighter, tobacco, papers and filters and distribute everything into my pockets apart from the joint which I place at the corner of my mouth. I push up from the ash covered cream carpet and brush down my knee length red and cream patterned skirt, I love wearing this to parties as when I dance the different hem lengths spin around me.

'Okay you guys I'm just gonna go and grab some air and a drink or something.' Caroline is now more engaged in the session going on below me so I don't think either of them here me. Just as I'm about to slowly turn on my cowboy boots and leave I see the baggie with the weed in it abandoned by the ash tray. Not wanting someone else to take it I do the courteous thing and grab it from the floor and place it into my pocket. I walk towards the makeshift drinks table and see that someone has carelessly left an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels on the table. I tuck this under my arm and ignore the few stares that I know guys are giving me as I walk towards the stairs leading to the ground floor of the house. I hate basement parties sometimes, this one has got to the point where it is too loud, the guys are obnoxiously drunk and the music is shit. When I hazily make it to the kitchen, which is unusually empty for a party, I decide to collect some food from the fridge and cupboards because I cannot be bothered to walk back into the house if I get the munchies. I feel a wave of light headedness as I stand up from looking in the bottom of the fridge, the weed is really starting to kick in. I kick the fridge door shut with my worn boot as my hands are now full with food and the Jack Daniels bottle. The paper from the joint has now stuck to my lip, I hope that doesn't bleed when I pull it off. Hazily, I stumble towards the backdoor which is thankfully on the latch so I only need to push it open with my hip.

I gaze out at the back garden of what is obviously a family home, it is still partially light outside because this party has been an all day even so I make my way across the vast expanse of grass towards the children's play area. I unceremoniously dump the food and alcohol down in front of the swing set and after a couple of minutes deliberation I slide into the swing seat and begin to gently rock back and forwards. Being stoned on swings is one of my favourite things because it really fucks with your head. I grab the lighter out of my pocket and light up the end of the joint there is only a little left but I am never one to waste good drugs. I take my final inhale and flick the roach off towards the climbing frame, that will be a nice surprise for the children when they get back. Oh well children need to be exposed to these things in life at some point. I cautiously lean forward and pick up the Jack Daniels and pull a cigarette out of my pre roll tin. My tin is pretty cool it was from disneyland from when I was ten and it has 'Mickey mouse and his pals mints' scrawled across the front, I used to think it was quite a conversation piece until I realised that people didn't really care. With this thought I light my cigarette and take a deep inhale before unscrewing the Jack Daniels and taking a large sip. Leaning back in the swing I begin to decipher shapes in the orange and pink clouds of the sky. I stay like this for a while, occasionally smoking or taking a drink from the bottle when suddenly a pair of blue eyes come into my vision instead of the clouds above. They look slightly tired but that does nothing to deter from their fascinating beauty. I will definitely have a staring contest with this person.

My thoughts are interrupted by the owner of the eyes and a husky voice whispers over me.

'You know its rude to take someone's alcohol and then go off and drink it alone.'