KWWE

by frostyfreezyfreeze54

In an attempt to prove to the kids at school that wrestling is still entertaining, RK brings Sparky and Buster along as business partners in an attempt to create his own professional wrestling company.

1. KWWE Script

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 5

EPISODE 8

Airdate: October 23, 2016

"KWWE"

#TYH508

Special Guest Stars: Michael Cole as Himself, Kevin Owens as Himself, Chris Jericho as Himself

SCENE 1

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade are at their lockers getting books to put in their bags.

RK: Hey, did you catch RAW last night?

WADE: Sure did. I can't believe Owens beat up Sami Zayn like that.

RK: You're telling me. I'm just glad Rollins is getting his rematch for the title.

WADE: Do you think he's gonna win?

RK: Probably not. I don't know what they're gonna do with him after this anyway. I mean, Triple H made him look like a bitch on live TV and we still don't know why. That's just bad writing.

RK and Wade leave the school and walk past Manny and Will.

WADE: I just thought with the brand split, things were going to be different. I mean, if you ask me, SmackDown is way more exciting and RAW's just like how it's always been.

RK: Eh, you have a point. But at least Owens is champion now. I love that guy. And don't sleep on Jericho, he's been a beast all year.

WADE: Yeah, Jericho's hilarious. I just hope Rollins doesn't get lost in the shuffle.

WILL: Are you guys talking about the WWE?

RK: Yeah. Did you hear the news? Kevin Owens is facing Seth Rollins for the Universal Championship at Hell in a Cell.

MANNY: You guys still like wrestling? Are you gay?

RK: Yeah, I'm pretty happy with how things are going in my life right now. Step up your insult game, cupcake.

RK walks away from the boys.

WADE: I don't get it. What's wrong with discussing the WWE?

WILL: It's so lame and corny now. I haven't watched it since they ended the streak.

WADE: But you've missed so much! The Shield broke up, all of them became world champions, John Cena's half-retired, Sting lost every match he competed in.

MANNY: That's all gay shit to me, man. None of that's really worth going back to.

WILL: Not at all. But if you watch UFC, we could talk about that.

WADE: And that's the moment where the conversation ends.

Wade walks away and meets up with RK.

WADE: Well, that was an awkward moment.

RK: I can't believe those assholes. Wrestling's gay now? It's actually cool to shit on wrestling these days.

WADE: I know, people just don't comprehend it. But ever since the WWE went PG, fans have been turning against it.

RK: Well, maybe it's time for things to change. It's all Chris Benoit's fault. If he didn't go psycho, the company would be in much better shape.

WADE: I'm not sure if we can blame all of WWE's problems on Chris Benoit.

RK: I can. That's how it started. Don't worry, I have an idea.

WADE: What is it?

RK: We go back in time to 2007 and stop Benoit from killing his family. We send him to therapy, and then the WWE will be saved.

WADE: How exactly are we supposed to convince a man with significant brain damage not to murder his wife and son? Especially considering the fact that he was suicidal?

RK: Wow. Um, you came right out the gate with that one. You know what, forget the idea, now I'm depressed.

SCENE 2

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky, Buster, and RK are watching TV.

BUSTER: Sparky, I don't get what this is.

SPARKY: It's called Do You Like It RAW? It's basically the RAW version of Talking Smack.

On TV, WWE Superstars Rusev and Lana are shown alongside Stephanie McMahon as part of the Do You Like It RAW? panel.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON: I'm just saying, Roman has gotten the better of you lately and you need to fire back.

RUSEV: Listen to me, I don't care what you think. You will not disrespect me on my show. That United States Championship is my legacy, my Bulgarian passion. Unlike you, my partner didn't marry into the family. We're married because...

STEPHANIE MCMAHON: Honestly, Rusev, I don't care why you married your wife. You will not disrespect me on my show, on live TV. This is my show, I'm the commissioner of this brand and YOU WILL SHOW ME SOME RESPECT! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT MY FAMILY, MY MARRIAGE, MY LEGACY?! YOUR WIFE ISN'T EVEN RUSSIAN, YOU IDIOT! GET OFF MY SHOW NOW! NOW! GET OFF NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

BUSTER: RK, are you okay? You seem bothered by something.

RK: No, not really. I just hate what Manny said today about us still watching wrestling. Guys, are we gay?

SPARKY: What?

RK: Are we gay, you know? Does watching the WWE, buying merchandise and attending shows make us flaming homosexuals?

SPARKY: Aren't you bisexual, RK?

RK: Yeah, so? Oh, now I know what you're getting at. Forget what I said.

BUSTER: If watching wrestling makes us gay, I never want to be straight again.

SPARKY: Okay, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works, but RK, why listen to Manny? I mean, he's crude, annoying, selfish, ignorant, confused in more ways than one. You shouldn't pay attention to kids like that.

RK: Yeah, but what if it's true? What if being fans of the WWE makes us corny and unappealing to everyone?

BUSTER: Both of you have girlfriends, Manny doesn't. I think that sums it up.

SPARKY: Exactly. Look, RK, as much as I hate it when people say that wrestling is all fake and it's only for little kids and it's gay, there's nothing I can do to change what they think. I mean, everybody has something that people make fun of.

RK: Well, I'm not going to let those jerks get away with it. There has to be something we can do to change their minds.

SPARKY: Dude, I just said that...

RK: I heard what you said, but I don't want to give up. You think John Cena gives up? Hell no. He just continues to be involved in radioactive surgery, which automatically heals his injuries and he comes back to win more championships.

BUSTER: So that's how he does it. I mean, if not steroids, then why not radioactive surgery?

SPARKY: I still don't know what you want us to do.

RK: Trust me. I'm going to come to school tomorrow with the best idea you've ever heard in your entire life.

SCENE 3

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

RK is at his locker with the rest of the kids.

RK: Okay, so how about this? The WWE for kids. We could call it KWWE.

SPARKY: Eh, it's an okay idea but I still don't know how it would work.

RK: It's simple. Manny and Will don't watch wrestling anymore because they think it's lame, so we prove to them that it's not. It's only lame because idiots are in charge, but we're not idiots, and we'll be in charge.

BUSTER: Mm-hmmm, keep it coming, go on.

SPARKY: There's no way we'll be able to pull off being a wrestling business.

RK: Not an actual company, man. It's just for fun. We'll have fake titles, fake merchandise, fake money. The works.

JAYLYNN: So just like the real WWE?

RK: Jaylynn, you're not cute, stop it. So what I'm proposing is that if you guys want to be involved, we can do a show next weekend at Sparky's place and invite people. I just want everyone to see that wrestling is so much more than guys in underwear punching and kicking for twenty minutes.

JAYLYNN: Would girls be involved?

RK: Sure. What do you think this is, a southern territory? It's 2016.

JAYLYNN: I...don't know if you're down with the idea completely.

RK: I am. So what do you say, Sparky? Can we do it?

WADE: You know, it's actually not a bad idea. If it doesn't work out, it's not like we have anything to lose.

SPARKY: You're right about that. Okay, RK, you have a deal. We're going into business...on one condition.

RK: Sure, anything.

SPARKY: I want to bring Buster along as a third partner.

RK: Works for me. This is going to be the best plan we've ever hatched.

BUSTER: Wait. You're saying that I have a say in the company?

SPARKY: Of course.

BUSTER: I finally feel like my life is coming together.

JAYLYNN: Wait, but if you guys run the KWWE, what do we do?

RK: You two can be advisors. Wade, I want you to work with us on advertising and writing stories. And Jaylynn, since it was your idea, I want you to run our women's division.

JAYLYNN: Alright. Screw the Divas Revolution, this is Jaylynn's era now.

RK: Yes, we're going to be in business! All we need now are some spineless, glad-handed yes men who will tell us everything we want to hear and we'll really be legit.

SCENE 4

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK and Buster are sharing a notebook.

BUSTER: Okay, so am I on SmackDown?

RK: Buster, I don't even know if we're having a draft. Hold your horses. Besides, we have to decide how many championships we need.

BUSTER: Okay, but if the main championship goes to SmackDown, I want it.

RK: Please. Like the KWWE Championship, the crown jewel of our industry, is going to the #2 show. Okay, so here's a sketch of what the title will look like.

RK shows Buster a sketch drawing of the KWWE Championship, which looks almost identical to the WWE World Championship.

BUSTER: RK, this looks exactly like the one WWE has.

RK: Hey, I'm not going for originality here. By the way, I have three ideas for what our second world title will be called: The Multiverse Championship, the Goodnight, Moon Celestial Championship, or the Big Dipper Belt of Unholy Awesomeness and Whatnot.

BUSTER: I hate the first one the least.

RK: Okay, so the first one is a front-runner.

SCENE 5

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky, Buster, and RK are shown standing in front of the TV in suits and ties while Wade gets his smartphone set up.

BUSTER: I forgot what this is for again.

WADE: If people are going to know about the KWWE, then good advertising is key. You have to sell the product so kids will be interested.

SPARKY: What are we going to say with no script?

RK: That's easy. Just think about what Mr. McMahon would say.

SPARKY: Eh, I guess I could riff for two minutes.

WADE: Okay, we're rolling.

SPARKY: It's been said that anything can happen in the KWWE, and if that's true, then let's embark on a journey where you can always expect the unexpected.

RK: The KWWE is a little company that was made because we refuse to be labeled as homosexuals when we're not. We encourage everyone to embrace their sexuality, but we also encourage everyone to understand that wrestling is just as cool as it was back when your parents were our age.

BUSTER: Vince McMahon doesn't care about black people.

Beat. Sparky and RK look at Buster confusingly.

SPARKY: What? Okay. Anyway, we know that the world has changed a great deal since the days of smelling what The Rock was cooking and knocking back beers on live TV. However, when it comes to the KWWE, we want you to know that we cater to the average wrestling fan in 2016. That's right. We know what you wanna see.

RK: The KWWE is not only sports entertainment, but all types of entertainment. We take inspiration from the late night shows with Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert. Soap operas like General Hospital, daytime talk shows like The Talk or music videos you see on YouTube.

BUSTER: Even cartoons like Rick and Morty on Adult Swim or PAW Patrol. Sitcoms like Modern Family and that other shit about the two broke girls.

SPARKY: The KWWE recognizes that fans are hungrier for something cool than ever before. We know you're tired of seeing the same old pointless stories, lame characters, and repetitive matches every week.

RK: That's right. Certainly, the era of good guys versus bad guys and old men prancing around in rainbow shirts and jean shorts is played out. Let's shake things up and take it to another level.

BUSTER: We thank you guys in advance for making the KWWE your home for great kiddie wrestling. If you want sex, drugs, and constant swearing...you're in the wrong place.

SPARKY: Because the KWWE is about way more than just being edgy and offensive. It's here to entertain, and to be...

SPARKY, RK, AND BUSTER: The cure for the common show!

SCENE 6

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

Sparky is setting up the KWWE ring as Bitch Clock walks outside.

BITCH CLOCK: Hey, I'm going to the butcher shop. Don't wait up for me.

SPARKY: It's two in the afternoon. You're just going to pick up some meat.

BITCH CLOCK: Yeah, but the liquor store's right next door and I'm going to end up sleeping overnight there. I always do.

SPARKY: Doesn't the store owner get mad?

BITCH CLOCK: Mike? Nah, he's a pussycat. He used to threaten to kill me, but I've grown on him. So what are you up to?

SPARKY: I'm just putting the finishing touches on this ring. Our first KWWE show is coming up and I don't want to rush everything at the last minute.

BITCH CLOCK: The KWWE?

SPARKY: Yeah, it's the WWE, but for kids. Kids like me.

BITCH CLOCK: Aren't you guys going to get like, seriously hurt with this wrestling stuff?

SPARKY: Of course not. We did this before with War Games and no one got hurt. Well, actually, RK got too overzealous and tried to whack Ashley's arm off with a chair, but other than that, things are going to be like butter.

BITCH CLOCK: Alright. Enjoy your death matches.

SPARKY: Enjoy your rampant alcoholism.

Beat.

BITCH CLOCK: Why you gotta go there, man? See ya.

SPARKY: See ya.

Bitch Clock goes back inside and Sparky begins cleaning the ring.

SPARKY: HA! Alcoholic alarm clocks.

SCENE 7

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

The backyard is filled with several kids as they take their seats. Sparky, Buster, and RK look behind the curtain as they see the number of kids outside.

RK: Holy shit, a full house!

BUSTER: I'm nervous, man. What if I end up tripping over myself? What if I forget my lines?

SPARKY: I thought all the promos were improvised.

RK: Not Buster's. He wants to challenge himself by writing his down. Alright, Buster, you go out there and you have fun, okay, champ?

BUSTER: Isn't someone going to attack me from behind?

RK: Yeah, but as long as you don't oversell it, you'll be fine.

WADE: Okay, guys, we're on in five seconds!

JAYLYNN: This is the day we've been training for!

SPARKY: Alright, everybody, see you out there. Hit the music!

("Across the Nation" by Union Underground plays in the background as Sparky makes his entrance. The kids immediately start cheering. As Sparky arrives, he does Vince McMahon's walk, Ric Flair's strut, and spits out water similar to Triple H as he reaches the ropes.)

SPARKY: Hello everybody. Welcome to the very first episode of KWWE RAW. Where our motto is, "If you're hard, you'll be staying in on the weekends." *laughter* Yes, I know, very hard. Now, without any further ado, please welcome our first ever KWWE World Heavyweight Champion, Buster "The Thruster" Newman!

("The Truth Reigns" by Jim Johnston plays as Buster walks down the ramp to receive the championship. He roars and pounds his chest as he enters the ring and shakes Sparky's hand. He is then handed the KWWE World Heavyweight Championship and raises the belt in the air.)

BUSTER: Thank you, Sparky, for this opportunity. Understand that I will be a fighting champion. I will take down anybody in my way, and I plan to defend the honor of the KWWE...

SPARKY: LOOK OUT!

RK hits Buster in the head with a steel chair and calls in a referee, which is Sparky himself. Sparky takes off his suit to reveal a referee's uniform, and quickly counts the pin for RK to become the new champion. "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays in the background as RK's hand is raised by Sparky. The kids start booing and throw things in the ring as Buster gets up and questions Sparky's motives, only for Sparky to kick him in the midsection, hit him with a Pedigree, and give him the D-X crotch chop.

RK: It's time for you all to realize who I am. My name is RK Jennings, and from now on, this is MY SHOW!

The kids continue booing as RK kisses the championship repeatedly.

SCENE 8

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

The kids start leaving and Sparky shakes their hands as they walk out.

MANNY: You know what, guys? I take back everything I said about wrestling. That was awesome!

WILL: Yeah, you guys do it better than the real thing.

RK: Well, you know what they say. With the KWWE, you never know what's gonna happen.

MANNY: I don't know who says that.

RK: Look, you enjoyed the show, come back next week.

WILL: Oh, you guys are doing it again?

SPARKY: Yeah, why not?

WILL: Okay, well...we'll be there.

MANNY: Yeah, save us some good seats. If we get nosebleeds, I'm never going to forgive you guys.

Manny and Will leave the area.

BUSTER: I can't believe we pulled it off! We made wrestling cool again!

RK: Sparky, do you know what we have planned for next week?

SPARKY: Well, that's an anything can happen deal. After all, with the KWWE, you never know what's gonna happen.

WADE: I can't believe RK won the title like that.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I was covering my mouth backstage. I was like, shit, dude.

SPARKY: Hey, idea bomb just exploded. Do you guys want to be commentators? We really need someone calling the action.

BUSTER: Why? Who's watching this?

SPARKY: The YouTube crowd.

BUSTER: We already have a YouTube channel?

SPARKY: It's still being worked out as we speak.

WADE: I don't have a problem announcing. I could be a great play-by-play man.

JAYLYNN: I have a problem. I wanna wrestle, not be in the booth yelling my head off because someone kicked out of the same move nine times.

SPARKY: It's only temporary, Jaylynn. Well, it's indefinite. But the women's division is definitely getting their shot soon.

JAYLYNN: That sounds very uncertain.

RK: In time, grasshopper. In time.

Beat.

JAYLYNN: Why the f*** did you just call me a grasshopper?

SCENE 9

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

The next week, RK and Buster are having a rematch for the KWWE World Heavyweight Championship.

WADE: And Buster's delivering knife edge chops to the doorstep known as RK's chest!

JAYLYNN: Yeah, Jennings is in, um, some trouble here.

WADE: And Buster drops him with a clothesline. THE COVER, FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP AND A KICK OUT!

JAYLYNN: I thought Newman would have been able to at least, you know, get the cover there, but Jennings is still in it.

WADE: A look of utter disbelief on Buster's face as he tries to put the champion away!

Buster gets up and imitates Undertaker's throat slash.

JAYLYNN: Can Newman do what he has the strength left to do?

WADE: Buster signals it's over. The Tombstone Piledriver is on tap here. RK tries to get his wits back about him, AND BUSTER IS ABOUT TO SEND HIM TO THE FUNERAL HOME!

JAYLYNN: Look at this! Look at this!

Buster ends up having his Tombstone countered by RK, who shifts his weight and hits his own Tombstone.

WADE: RK HITS THE TOMBSTONE! HE COUNTERED IT! HOOKS THE LEG...AND BUSTER ROLLS THE SHOULDER UP AT TWO!

JAYLYNN: Wow, how did Buster do it? How could he have kicked out of that? Jennings is out of options here.

WADE: RK has to figure out something here. The KWWE world title depends on it! And wait a minute. RK's looking for the steel! The champion has a chair!

JAYLYNN: WHAT THE HELL?! HE CAN'T USE THAT!

WADE: RK's looking to retain the title through any means necessary. Wait, it appears my partner has...

Jaylynn runs down to the ring and engages in a tug of war with RK for the chair while she stands on the apron.

WADE: WAIT, JAYLYNN'S GOT THE CHAIR!

Jaylynn takes the steel chair away from RK and hits him in the head with it. RK stumbles for a few seconds and Buster hits him with a running knee to the face.

WADE: KNEE TO THE FACE! KNEE TO THE JENNINGS MUG! BUSTER HAS A CHANCE! BUSTER'S GOING TO THE TOP! BUSTER HAS AN OPPORTUNITY! COUP DE GRACE! JAYLYNN WATCHES FROM THE SIDELINES!

Buster covers RK after the Coup de Grace.

WADE: THE COVER...NEWMAN'S DONE IT! BUSTER NEWMAN IS THE NEW KWWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

"The Truth Reigns" plays as Buster celebrates with the title.

WADE: RK has suffered crushing defeat here today as Buster Newman lets all of his naysayers know that he CAN do it! And Jaylynn's come to show respect!

Jaylynn hugs Buster and raises his hand. Jaylynn then kicks Buster in the midsection and hits a Stone Cold Stunner.

WADE: WHAT THE HELL?! JAYLYNN JUST ATTACKED BUSTER! THE NEW CHAMPION'S DOWN!

Jaylynn takes the KWWE Championship and holds it up, then grabs a microphone.

JAYLYNN: You're in the Jaylynn era now, bitches.

Jaylynn drops the mic and heads backstage to a mixed reaction.

WADE: I can't even begin to comprehend these events here today.

SCENE 10

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK: You're in the Jaylynn era now, bitches? What the hell were you thinking?!

JAYLYNN: I was thinking that I wasn't going to stand around and comment on stuff because I wanted to wrestle. I had to make a statement, man.

RK: At my expense! You cost me the championship, you jackass!

JAYLYNN: You were going to lose the title anyway. It was in the script.

RK: What? No, it wasn't. Sparky, you and Buster wrote that I was going over.

SPARKY: Yeah, at first, RK, but then Jaylynn gave us the idea to change it.

RK: AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!

BUSTER: If we told you that you were going to do the job, you were going to say no.

RK: Obviously, because I just won the championship last week! You guys can't keep doing crazy shit like this. That's not good writing.

SPARKY: Our fans seem to think differently.

RK: We're doing these shows for kids! Do you really expect them to understand nuance and storytelling?

JAYLYNN: Stop being a little bitch and taking everything seriously. It's just for fun, man.

WADE: On the contrary, RK does have a legitimate point. Wrestling should be exciting, but there's no reason why we shouldn't have engaging stories and character motivations that make sense.

BUSTER: Ugh, everything made sense more than a week ago when we didn't have this idea.

SPARKY: Okay, I guess from now on, we'll have a three-man writing team. Me, Buster, and RK. We'll make all the decisions as we see fit. Jaylynn, how's the women's division coming along?

JAYLYNN: It's great. We already have Sanna, Ashley, Rayna, and Sydney on the roster.

RK: I don't get it. Why is Jaylynn going after the world championship when she's a girl? And what happened to the two separate brands?

SPARKY: RK, could I explain something to you?

RK: Okay, what?

SPARKY: WE JUST STARTED LAST WEEK!

SCENE 11

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

Buster and RK are in the lunchroom on Monday writing out the next KWWE show.

RK: Should we start adding live events? That could be interesting.

BUSTER: I don't know, maybe on Fridays, I guess. This is going to be great. Jaylynn's a dope worker. I can't wait to feud with her for the belt.

RK: What about my rematch clause?

BUSTER: What about it?

RK: I lost the championship because of Jaylynn's dumbassery. When you lose a championship, you're entitled to a rematch.

BUSTER: You might have to take that up with Sparky. That's not my department.

RK: We're in the same f***ing department!

BUSTER: Boy, you are being such a grouch today.

RK: Because things just aren't going the way I wanted them to. I want a realistic, intelligent kids version of the WWE. This is just amateur clown shit.

BUSTER: Will you calm down? We're still getting all the pieces together. I see the Transatlantic Championship with your name on it. All you have to do is go up against one of our new guys, James Bradford. He goes to Mona Robinson and Sanna said he loves wrestling.

RK: Why not just give the title to me?

BUSTER: Because...stuff.

RK: You have no reason, do you?

BUSTER: It's complicated, deal with it!

SCENE 12

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK leaves the bathroom and laces up his wrestling boots. He then overhears Sparky and Buster talking in the kitchen.

BUSTER: Then I told RK that he was going over.

SPARKY: Buster, you shouldn't promise things like that. I don't want RK to win any championship.

BUSTER: Why? He's one of the best wrestlers we have. Plus, he's great on the mic and the KWWE was his idea.

SPARKY: That's what I'm saying. You have to sell the chase. People want to see RK go after the champion, not be the champion. It builds sympathy. Plus, we have to get James over as a face.

BUSTER: I guess you're right. But when does he win the title?

SPARKY: I don't know. Eventually?

RK looks pissed as he goes through the front door to avoid being seen.

SCENE 13

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

RK is facing James for the Transatlantic Championship. RK is behind the ropes, trying to recollect himself as James gets a running start and goes for a spear through the ropes.

WADE: And James is on the hunt...KICK TO THE HEAD! RK SAVED HIMSELF! AND THE CROWD'S ON THEIR FEET!

RK jumps off the ropes and hits a springboard high knee on James. He then goes for the cover.

WADE: DOES HE HAVE HIM HERE?! HOOKS THE LEG...and James powers out at two! The Transatlantic Championship is on the line here!

RK clutches his knee in pain.

RK: God, my knee's killing me!

HALLEY: You want to forfeit?

RK: Hell no, I'm winning the title! Wait, when did you become a referee?

WADE: It looks like RK might be hurt out there!

The scene cuts to Sparky and Buster watching backstage.

SPARKY: I just hope James gets the rollup for the win.

BUSTER: Also, quick question: During the contract signing for the title match at RK's place, does Jaylynn powerbomb me through the table or powerslam me?

SPARKY: The powerbomb, man. Why did we even have the meeting?

RK grabs the ropes, and flops around trying to get up. James has RK in his sights, about to go for a spear.

WADE: And this might be it for RK! James is setting up for the Bradford's Spear, and RK is in a world of trouble right now!

James goes for a Bradford's Spear, but RK jumps over him and hits an RKO.

WADE: RKO! RK GOT HIM! THE COVER ON BRADFORD! IT'S OVER! IT'S ALLLLLLLLLL OVER! JENNINGS IS THE NEW TRANSATLANTIC CHAMPION!

"This Fire Burns" plays as RK holds up the title belt. Halley looks confused as she raises up RK's arm in victory.

WADE: RK somehow, someway, was able to bounce back from that knee and pick up the win for the championship!

RK taps the knee with a big smile indicating a feigned injury, and raises up the title once again as the fans go nuts.

SCENE 14

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK is sitting on the couch while being surrounded by the gang.

SPARKY: I can't believe you did this! You faked an injury and went off-script just so you could win the championship?!

RK: I lie, I cheat, I steal. You guys said more money was in the chase, but they seemed to love it.

SPARKY: But you acted like an irresponsible asshole just so you could win.

RK: If anything, I think you're the one acting like an asshole, Sparky. I wanted the KWWE to go a certain way, and you weren't doing right by me. I want to be one of the top dogs, but you're not giving me my opportunity to shine.

SPARKY: You bet your ass I'm not giving you opportunities. Starting today, you're suspended!

RK: What?

SPARKY: That's right. For as long as I see fit, you're not allowed to compete until you clean up your act. And I'm stripping you of the Transatlantic Championship!

RK: Yeah, that was already implied. But you're the worst, Sparky. I can't go without wrestling! It's all I got since three weeks ago!

BUSTER: Yeah, do you really want to do this, Sparky? I mean, the Jennings kid is our meal ticket.

WADE: Honestly, this is a really bad idea that's going to burn money.

SPARKY: This is a nonprofit company! And I believe I'm doing the right thing.

RK: Yeah, you believe so. By the way, if you want your stupid championship, you can have it.

RK tosses Sparky the championship and gives him the RKO, then leaves the house.

BUSTER: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THEY KILLED HIM!

Wade and Jaylynn give Buster confused looks.

BUSTER: It adds to the tension.

SCENE 15

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK and KG are watching TV.

VOICEOVER: We now return to The Boy Scouts of America 106th Anniversary Special.

ADULT MALE: I'm sorry, but I have something to say. Everybody wants to talk about Troop Master Henry like he was such a good man, but he wasn't. You people watching this have no idea what he did to me. Let me tell you a personal story about Troop Master Henry. It was back in 1989...

Cut to immediate television static.

RK: This is nice, you know? The two of us doing an activity together?

KG: It is, I can't lie about that. I still can't believe they fired you.

RK: Bro, I wasn't fired, I was suspended. Then again, I don't really see much of a difference.

KG: How long is it before you get back to the ring?

RK: I have no idea. It's indefinite. Maybe I'm going to be suspended for so long, they'll have to repackage me when I come back. What should my new name be? Johnson Binter? Chainsaw Chuck? Petey the Pulverizer? Johnson Binter?

KG: You said Johnson Binter twice.

RK: I just love how sexy it is. The Johnson part is pure gold because you would expect that to be a last name, and the Binter part seals the deal because it means I have expensive tastes.

KG: You know, you could always try appealing your suspension. I mean, if it wasn't for you, the KWWE wouldn't exist. They can't take you out of your own organization.

RK: I think Donald Sterling begs to differ. But I guess you're right. Sparky may be a little stubborn sometimes, but he's not an asshole.

SCENE 16

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Sparky is putting books in his locker when RK walks by.

RK: Look, Sparky, we need to talk about this suspension thing. I know you have a business to run, but you didn't even want to do it until I came up with the idea. And honestly, I feel like I'm being held back because you're letting business get in the way of giving...

SPARKY: You know what, RK? You're right. Maybe the suspension was me being a little bit too reactionary. Okay, you can come back to work.

RK: Alright, that's great. I'm glad we had this talk.

SPARKY: I just hope you can accept that your suspension is now probation.

RK: I can accept the fact that your insanity has now reached its apex. I don't understand what you mean.

SPARKY: Look, you can continue wrestling but as a trial period, you have to put over some of our new guys.

RK: Are you kidding me? Sparky, I didn't do anything wrong!

SPARKY: You went off-script. Do you know how pissed I was when I saw you with that belt?

RK: Do you know how pissed I was when Jaylynn tried to scramble my brains with a fake steel chair? And then you guys had the nerve to keep it from me?

SPARKY: Look, whatever the case may be...

RK: And it's nice to know that you guys were talking about me behind my back, saying that the chase is better. I'm only good enough to pressure the champion, not beat him. It's nice to know you value me so little when I was the architect of this shit!

SPARKY: RK, I don't want to talk about this now. You can either deal with the probation or stay suspended.

RK: Or we can start doing things my way.

RK gives Sparky another RKO. "Let It Roll" plays as RK does the D-X chop and leaves.

SCENE 17

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

Buster is on his phone while the other kids are eating without RK.

BUSTER: This is great! We get 95 new viewers every day on our YouTube channel!

WADE: Really?

BUSTER: Actually, it's much lower than that, but we're still lovable. What's going on with you, Sparky? You look tired.

SPARKY: I am tired, Buster. Tired of RK. I'm trying to punish him for going off-script, but all he can do is continue attacking me. Apparently, wrestling moves are all he seems to communicate with.

BUSTER: But if he still uses words, wouldn't that be two forms of communication?

WADE: Sparky, just give RK back the title. He won it fair and square and it's not like you told him that he was going to lose the world championship so just throw him a bone.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I gotta cosign with my man Wade on this one. RK's not going to stop until he gets what he wants.

SPARKY: Well, he's going to have to deal with it because I'm trying to look at the bigger picture here.

RK crawls from under the table and comes up behind Sparky. He then gives him a Backstabber.

BUSTER: MY GOD, RK WITH AN AMBUSH!

WADE: Could you stop doing my job? RK, what the hell is wrong with you?!

SPARKY: YOU SON OF A BITCH, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!

RK: If that's what it takes to get in the spotlight, then yes. I'm not your little puppet, Sparko. I'm not a corporate sellout like some people.

BUSTER: Are you referring to me, Jaylynn, or the both of us?

RK: I represent true wrestling. So stop living in the past, and focus on the fact that I, RK Jennings, am the true KWWE World Heavyweight Champion!

RK positions himself to punt Sparky in the skull, but then stops himself and walks away. Beat.

JAYLYNN: WHAT THE F*** WAS ANY OF THAT?!

SCENE 18

iCarly Elementary School

Exterior Exit

Seattle, Washington

Sparky sighs and leaves the school grounds on the way to his car. He then sees RK lying on the hood and scratches his head. He runs over to the car.

SPARKY: RK, are you okay? Do you need the nurse?

RK: I think someone attacked me.

SPARKY: What?! Who?

RK: I don't remember much, but I think he dropped my ass...

RK then gives Sparky another RKO on the car.

RK: WITH AN RKO, BITCH!

Halley runs towards the car and RK runs away. Halley then chases after RK.

HALLEY: RK, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Buster leaves the school and sees Sparky on top of his car.

BUSTER: Sparky, why are you sleeping in the middle of the day?

SCENE 19

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster are watching TV. Sparky is rubbing the back of his neck.

SPARKY: I'm going to need a full body cast by the time RK's done. This is one of the worst days of my life.

BUSTER: What about the day you got shot trying to be a Crime Stopper?

SPARKY: It's up there. Man, what's it gonna take for RK to leave me alone?

BUSTER: You lifting his suspension, keeping him from probation, maybe adding him to the KWWE title match at the park.

SPARKY: I thought the match was going to be at RK's place.

BUSTER: Well, because of recent events, I got the match moved to the park. Plus, the park is enormous. It's going to be like WrestleMania up in there.

SPARKY: The park is for big kids, Buster. How were you able to swing that?

BUSTER: Well, it took some doing. That's all I can say because of the unspeakable horrors I had to go through.

SPARKY: Oh my God, did the park owner take advantage of you?

BUSTER: What? No, I just raked leaves for an hour. I mean, it was only sixty minutes, but for some reason, it felt slightly more than sixty minutes. It gave me a rash.

SPARKY: Oh. Wait, what were we talking about?

BUSTER: You were talking about killing RK or something.

SPARKY: Look, RK is the one at fault. We wrote in that he was going to lose the match, he agreed, and then he decided to go off-script. I'm just following the rules here.

BUSTER: I agree that RK acted a little reckless, but we kinda did him dirty in the first place. Besides, you know he's not going to give up until you give him what he wants.

SPARKY: That's not happening. RK's gotten over on a lot of people, but he's not doing that to me. I'm Sparky MacDougal, dammit!

BUSTER: You sounded like Mr. McMahon when you said that.

SPARKY: I did. You know what? It felt weird, I can't do that again.

SCENE 20

iCarly Elementary School

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

Sparky pulls up to the school and is immediately surrounded by several kids talking at the same time.

SPARKY: What the hell's going on? I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!

MANNY: Sparky, is it true that you killed RK's spirit for wrestling?

WILL: Why didn't you give him a chance?

KID #1: YOU TOOK HIS DREAM AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH! YOU'RE THE DEVIL!

SPARKY: Where are you guys getting all this from?

MANNY: Listen to RK's podcast, man. He roasted your ass.

SPARKY: Great.

SCENE 21

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Sparky, Buster, Wade, and Jaylynn are listening to RK's podcast, entitled "Memoirs of a Broken Child."

RK: So he was sitting there talking about it being about the chase, like he understood business on some profound level. No, f*** the chase, man, give me the f***ing championship. I'm the most talented guy on the roster, dude, I can do it all. I created this shit. I'm the Seth Rollins of this shit, man. And now I'm being punked out by all these motherf***ers who think they know wrestling like I do. They don't, they just want popularity. I want respect.

KG: And...it's really funny to me, because Bradford didn't get a reaction at all when he was given the Transatlantic Championship. And I like Bradford, but the kids have never really been on him like that. So when you beat him, the kids did a complete 180° and were chanting your name.

RK: Yeah, and the weird thing is that they wanted me to come in as a face. I kept telling Sparky and Buster, "No. That's not going to work." They want to boo me, I'm the best heel you have on the roster, but then they're all "No, you're cool, the kids want a bullcrap superhero to cheer for." I just know people are going to want me dead because that's how good of a heel I can be. Now, look, people want me to win the title back and after what Jaylynn did, I'm the most over guy in the company.

KG: And we know for a fact that they didn't write you to be so over, that wasn't their intention for you to be such a popular face.

RK: Yeah, because the writing sucks. I started everything and I'm getting nothing back.

Sparky ends the podcast.

SPARKY: I can't listen to this anymore.

BUSTER: I could keep going, he makes a lot of cool points.

SPARKY: Buster!

BUSTER: Oh, please, you know he just gave us some ether.

WADE: The shit that makes your soul burn slow. Shame.

JAYLYNN: Sparky, could you please work something out with RK? The KWWE's going to hell because of this.

SPARKY: I'm not bowing down, Jaylynn. RK wants a war, I'm going to give him a war.

RK: Good day, ladies and gents. Listened to any good podcasts lately?

SPARKY: RK, you had no right to say any of those things about the KWWE.

RK: Why not? It's my company, dumbass.

SPARKY: You're sitting here shitting on your own product and assassinating our characters. How's this supposed to help business?

RK: You don't get it, man. This isn't about business, it was never about business. I just wanted people to see that wrestling wasn't corny. I did that. Then I just wanted a shot. I was hit with a chair without being told, couldn't even keep the secondary belt and now you want me to just fall in line and accept it? I'm not doing that. I don't even know who you are anymore.

SPARKY: What's that supposed to mean?

RK: You know what it means. Don't play dumb. You and I both know this isn't you. Caring about corporate shit and demographics and ticket sales and boardroom meetings. That's not you. We started the KWWE because we were all wrestling fans, because we wanted people to be entertained. The fact of the matter is, you lost your mind and now you're afraid that I'm more important to the company than you. You know what? You can keep your job, I'm not sticking around to watch you run my baby into the ground. I QUIT!

RK hits an RKO on Sparky.

JAYLYNN: DUDE, STOP. DOING. THAT.

RK: You know what? You're right. It's getting old.

RK picks Sparky up and gives him a Go to Sleep.

JAYLYNN: That's not what I meant.

RK: What did you just say, bitch?

JAYLYNN: I SAID, THAT'S NOT WHAT I...

RK gives Jaylynn an RKO as well.

RK: Are you guys a bunch of sellouts too?

BUSTER: If we don't move, he won't hit us.

WADE: Good thinking.

WILL: I don't get it. Is this a work or a shoot?

MANNY: Maybe he's shooting himself into a work which will eventually be revealed to be a work that somehow ended up as a shoot!

RK: What the f*** are you guys talking about?

SCENE 22

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

That Saturday, "Across the Nation" starts playing as Sparky walks to the ring amidst a chorus of boos.

WADE: And the chairman of the company, Sparky MacDougal, is in enemy territory in his own company. I mean, the recent outbursts by RK Jennings, the fan backlash, it has all come to a head here today.

SPARKY: Cut the music. As you may have heard, RK Jennings has left the company and he will not be a part of our first pay-per-view this Friday at Ken Griffey Jr. Park.

The booing continues.

SPARKY: You see, RK believed that he was bigger than the company. He believed that he was above it all and that he could do whatever he wanted because he was the best thing going in this place. So he took his ball and went home. The fact of the matter is, people wouldn't come to see RK compete if we were holding an event at his own house. You people...

Sparky can barely finish his sentence because the booing starts to drown out his speech.

SPARKY: You see, you people need to realize something. No one man or woman is bigger than the KWWE, so when I decided to initially suspend RK for insubordination, I did it for each and every one of you. I did it so that this company didn't have to be stuck in anarchy and chaos. I did it because it's best for business. You see, what a company man does is listen to people. He has to be fair and trustworthy and understanding. He...

Sparky starts to pause. In his thoughts, he says: I never listened to RK. I was the one who drove him away. It's all my fault.

SPARKY: He doesn't make decisions that are popular, he makes decisions that are right. And that's why you will never see RK Jennings in this ring again! He thought about himself, I thought about the future! And that's all there is to it!

"King of Kings" by Motorhead plays as Sparky leaves the ring and the boos continue to rain down. He once again stops himself, sighs, and goes backstage.

WADE: Strong, emphatic words from the CEO of this company.

SCENE 23

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK is watching TV.

VOICEOVER: See, we created The Cleveland Show because we really wanted to understand black people...so we got all the white people we could find and told them to write how they feel about black people.

VOICEOVER #2: I was fired after a week. They said I was trying to make the show too Boondocks.

Sparky comes in.

RK: Sparky, if you're coming here for another attack, I appreciate the surrender. But I'm tired tonight so you can go away.

SPARKY: I'm sorry.

RK: Wait, what?

SPARKY: Look, I thought about what you said the other day and you were right. I was acting like a stubborn, entitled, uncaring jerk all because I let the power get to me. It was your company and I had no right telling you what to do and how to do it. I shouldn't have lied to you either. I ruined everything for you but I just want you to know that I'm really sorry for what I did and I hope you can forgive me for being such an ass.

RK: I don't think I can.

SPARKY: Oh. Okay then. Just know that there are no hard feelings and the apology's always on the table.

RK: I don't think I can without letting you know that I'm sorry. I just got so mad that things weren't going my way and when you kept punishing me, I snapped. I shouldn't have given you all those RKOs.

SPARKY: No, I deserved the RKOs, all of them. You were just trying to get through to me and I should have listened to you in the first place. I dropped the ball worse than Buster did when he went on that podcast.

Cut to a flashback of Buster being interviewed on "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's podcast.

STONE COLD: So Buster, I don't want to be rude or nothing, but I don't think you're really giving it to the people. You're lazy, you're resting on your laurels, and you haven't stepped up your game. What do you have to say for yourself?

BUSTER: Um...um, you see, that's, um, you see, where you're wrong because, um...I bust my ass like a real G, you know what I'm saying?

Cut to a still image of Austin's angered expression. Cut back to Sparky and RK.

RK: I'm just glad the old Sparky's back.

SPARKY: Me too. Friends again?

RK: Like we ever stopped. Bring it in, buddy.

Sparky and RK hug each other.

SPARKY: And you know something else? You were right. The kids were going nuts for you. I think I have a way we can make our first pay per view unforgettable.

SCENE 24

Ken Griffey Jr. Park

Seattle, Washington

Buster and Jaylynn are having their match for the KWWE World Heavyweight Championship.

WADE: Buster's going up top! BUSTER'S THINKING COUP DE GRACE! NO, JAYLYNN'S GOT HIM! THE CHALLENGER HAS BUSTER UP ON HER SHOULDERS! F-5! F-5, THE SECOND OF THE CONTEST! THE COVER! AND NEWMAN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

The camera zooms in on Jaylynn's face, completely in disbelief.

WADE: Two F-5s, a Tombstone Piledriver, a 619 from both competitors, Starship Pain. Which one of these combatants wants the KWWE world title more?

"Across the Nation" plays as Sparky walks out to a mixed reaction.

SPARKY: Stop the match for one second. Thank you, hold the reaction. You see, the way I see it, the KWWE always does what's best for business. And right now, I'm thinking that what this match needs is no countouts, no disqualifications. How can we make that happen? By officially making this title match a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Meet the third guy!

"This Fire Burns" plays as RK takes off his shirt and marches down to the ring.

WADE: RK'S BACK! RK JENNINGS HAS MADE HIS WAY INTO THE TITLE MATCH! JAYLYNN'S FACE TELLS THE WHOLE STORY! THE PARK HAS BECOME UNGLUED AS RK JENNINGS IS BACK! AND YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUSINESS HAS INDEED PICKED UP!

RK lands a few punches on Jaylynn and they start landing stiff-looking fists on each other. RK gets a running start and hits Jaylynn with a flying clothesline. He then hits her with a superkick, but only gets a two-count.

RK: You only counted two!

HALLEY: She kicked out at two!

RK: Do your job, you stupid idiot!

Buster goes for a rollup, but RK kicks out. Buster throws RK out of the ring and does a throat slash.

WADE: Buster is about to drive Jaylynn into the burial plot. The champion has the challenger in his sights!

Buster goes for the Tombstone, but Jaylynn gets out and counters it into a Cross Rhodes.

WADE: Jaylynn with the Cross Rhodes! RK WITH THE CHAIR TO THE SKULL! Shades of the first title match!

After hitting Jaylynn with the chair, RK goes back outside and grabs a wooden table from under the ring. He brings it back, sets it up, and places Buster on top of it.

WADE: RK's going to the top! He's about to deliver poetic justice! COUP DE GRACE! COUP DE GRACE TO THE SOUL OF THE CHAMPION THROUGH THE TABLE! THE COVER! RK'S DONE IT! RK'S THE CHAMPION! RK'S THE CHAMPION!

RK is handed the KWWE World Heavyweight Championship and is given a huge positive reaction from the kids. Sparky walks to the ring and extends his hand for RK to shake. RK hesitates and then hugs Sparky instead.

WADE: A great show of respect from the new champion. RK and Sparky have had their trials but on this night...

As Sparky raises RK's hand, he lets go and then receives an RKO.

WADE: THE DEFIANT JENNINGS STRIKES AGAIN!

"This Fire Burns" starts up again as RK runs around the ring holding up the championship. Halley is attending to Buster and Jaylynn on the outside and sighs at RK.

SCENE 25

Ken Griffey Jr. Park

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

The kids start leaving, but some of them look disappointed.

SPARKY: What's with everybody? They look sad.

RK: Hey guys, you enjoy the show? I'm the new champion.

MANNY: Yeah, we see that. Look, guys, I don't know how to say this, but the KWWE's really not that cool anymore.

BUSTER: What are you talking about? RK came back to win the world title!

WILL: Yeah, but anybody could have seen that coming. Plus, it felt like you manufactured the whole thing. Like you just had a fight with RK to get people talking.

MANNY: Yeah. Good show, but we've seen better.

Manny and Will leave at that point, prompting Buster to slap himself.

SPARKY: Wrestling fans are so hard to please.

BUSTER: I don't get it. How did we become uncool so fast?

WADE: I guess the kids realized that we were really just about being outrageous and improvising instead of old-school storytelling.

JAYLYNN: So everyone just got tired of the f***ery?

WADE: Pretty much, yeah.

RK: You know, it's times like this I wonder how we can still be such big fans of wrestling even after everything we went through.

SPARKY: Well, the truth is, wrestling's pretty damn screwed up in the head. No matter what it does or how frustrating it gets, we keep coming back because we love it, and one day, it will redeem itself. And then it annoys us all over again.

BUSTER: It was actually pretty fun getting to do the KWWE. Thanks for the idea, RK.

RK: You're welcome, Bus Stop. And you know what? I'm just glad I was able to retire on top. When do I get my pension by the way?

JAYLYNN: You're a wrestler, you don't get stuff like that.

RK: Oh yeah, right. I don't. *chuckles* What a terrible job to have.

Cut to black.

("Enemies" by Shinedown playing in the end credits)

POST-CREDITS GAG

Fade in. Michael Cole is shown in his familiar office.

MICHAEL COLE: Hello again, everybody, and welcome to our weekly interview here on WWE...

KEVIN OWENS: Hold on a minute, hold on a minute. Cole, I have to ask, why do you say it like that?

MICHAEL COLE: Say what like that?

KEVIN OWENS: You say "W" like a geek. I mean, why are you putting so much emphasis on it? Double-U Double-U E. You sound like an idiot.

CHRIS JERICHO: A stupid idiot, I might add.

MICHAEL COLE: Look, guys, I want to conduct this interview here. Kevin, the question on everyone's mind is, can you beat Seth Rollins inside Hell in a Cell?

CHRIS JERICHO: Look, Cole, maybe you choose to act this way with your other guests, alright, but this is my best friend Kevin Owens. Former NXT Champion. The longest-reigning WWE Universal Champion of all-time. The face of this company, ya dig? So if you could stop being such a stupid idiot, and pronounce the letter "W" like a normal person, maybe you could finally have the decent interview you've been craving for years. Huh? Do you understand what I am saying to you right now?

MICHAEL COLE: Anyway, Kevin, big title match coming up. Is there a chip on your shoulder heading into Hell in a Cell?

KEVIN OWENS: Right now, the chip on my shoulder is the stooge interviewing me. Chris, I think it's time.

CHRIS JERICHO: I think it is. Michael, do you know what happens when you ignore the best in the world at what he does, the GOAT? Well, I think you know what happens.

MICHAEL COLE: Guys, we don't have a whole lot of time here.

KEVIN OWENS: This is Y2KO time, thank you.

CHRIS JERICHO: Michael Cole, for ignoring my polite request...you just made the list!

Jericho writes down Cole's name on the List of Jericho while Cole sighs.

KEVIN OWENS: Yeah, write that down. Write his name down twice if you have to.

MICHAEL COLE: Kill me.

©2016 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

ROAD TO 100: FIVE WEEKS AWAY