Disclaimer: I don't own Frasier, etc.
Rating: PG. Some very mild sexy bits.
Summary: On the night before Daphne's wedding, Niles is dreaming.
Notes: This is a kind of sequel to 'In Bed with My Donny.'
'Twas the Night Before…
By NorthernStar
'I do love you,' she'd said. And meant it, he could tell by her eyes. Could see the honesty in them…and the love. Love for him, yes, but Donny too, and her family and his family. Everyone who expected her to marry tomorrow and start her life with the man she had chosen. They wanted her to have the fairytale…even if it wasn't the one Daphne wanted anymore.
Niles looked across the hotel room to his wife of only three days. He loved Mel, they'd been- no, they were good together. He wasn't that blind to her little faults, but they were little as far as he was concerned. She was a good woman, who loved him. And he loved her.
But she wasn't Daphne.
She would never touch his heart the way Daphne could, or make him feel such depths of passion for her. Or make him feel like he could accomplish anything he wanted as long as he had her love to guide him.
Mel saw him look at her, and she smiled. She had a way of crinkling her nose when she smiled like that. The 'I know what you're thinking' smile that begged to be kissed.
He smiled half-heartedly back; she didn't know what he was thinking this time. And he was surprised to find that saddened him.
She frowned, "Niles?"
"Oh, it's been a long day, hasn't it?" And he faked a yawn to emphasise.
Mel got up and walked towards him, her hips swinging just a fraction more than normal. She settled on his lap and kissed the space between his brows. And then her lips moved down his nose, kissing all the way, and ended on his lips.
"Darling…" he began, but she chuckled, letting her hands wander. It felt wrong. It was wrong…to make love to a woman he was only sitting here with because another had rejected him. But he was a man and his body was geared to respond to the touch of a woman, especially a woman who knew him so well.
And deep inside, he needed the comfort, the reassurance from a woman who wouldn't reject him. He let himself go, pushing the higher part of him that hated himself for this and shutting it out.
"I love you," Mel whispered.
He covered her mouth with his own and didn't answer back.
**********
He was in an apartment. Even more prestigious that his own and decorated by people who's taste was impeccable. The paintings on the wall were beautiful, chosen with care so that they brought light and colour to the room but never distracting. He sank into the sofa, marvelling at the exquisite leather upholstery.
He wasn't alone in the apartment. He looked over at Mel. She was stylishly dressed and her dark wavy hair was pinned back and held in place with a diamond clip.
And they weren't alone either.
There was a child at the piano, effortlessly playing Brahms. Niles stared at the girl, amazed at her similarity to her mother. The same dark curls and lily tinted skin. He got up and walked to the child's side. The girl looked up at him with a pair of blue eyes so familiar it was like looking in the mirror. She smiled, but didn't break her concentration.
He waited until she finished. "That's wonderful, Ellen."
Such talent…such passion from one so young. Only six years old and already on her way to becoming the next Beethoven. 'His little Mozart' he always said.
"Daddy?" She asked, "what's wrong?"
He touched her head, tangling his fingers in the dark curls that framed her face. The only thing in life that mattered, the only thing life existed for…was staring up at him.
"Daddy?"
But it wasn't Ellen who had spoken.
Another voice, a different voice… very different. He looked up a saw another little girl, staring in at him through the window. And he knew he loved her just as much.
"Come in," he told her.
"I can't." She replied sadly, a tear trickling down her cheek, "I don't exist here, Daddy."
She began to fade away, turning hollow and transparent, like an apparition, or a ghost…
A ghost of what might have been.
"No, wait." But he couldn't reach her in time.
She was gone.
**********
Niles opened his eyes, he was clutching the covers and after a moment, he let go. He took a deep breath, realising he was afraid. No, not afraid…disturbed. He didn't understand why, there had been nothing frightening about the dream.
But he wouldn't be much of a Jungian if he didn't take note of what his subconscious had tossed up on the shore of his dreamscape like so much flotsam. A child with Mel…the little girl they'd talked about, Mel had wanted to call after her grandmother.
He smiled at the memory of that dream child. She had looked so much like her mother and everything about her had been so real. As real as the bed he now lay in, as much a person as he was.
And the other child…
It bothered him that he would never know her. What was her name? Why didn't she exist? He laughed at himself. He was inventing worry where there wasn't any; his mind protecting him from the real hurt of Daphne's rejection.
Mel turned in her sleep and snuggled up to him. He curled around her, breathing her scent, but his mind smelled only that of another woman. One that was lost to him now.
Daphne's scent.
He closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.
**********
He was in a house. A house in the suburbs…. His house? He lived in the suburbs? Niles went to the window and breathed a sigh of relief. Yes it was a house, but an old Edwardian one. And this wasn't the suburbs…not exactly. This was the heart of southeast England; Jane Austen herself had been born not far from here.
But the interior of the house was odd; certainly not what he would have chosen himself. The furniture was impeccably made and obviously very expensive. But there were toys tossed here and there, littering the place. And while the paintings on the wall were equally beautiful, they shared their pride of place on the walls with childish drawings.
And he wasn't alone in this house either.
There was a child at this piano too, torturously tapping 'chopsticks' with little enthusiasm. His heart leapt. It was the child from the window. He'd know her now. Her name, her smile, everything…even the fact that she hated her music practice but could play beautifully if the mood struck her.
She looked up at him with bright intelligent blue eyes. His eyes…his blonde hair too. "Daddy, can I go now?" But her skin was the colour of Devonshire cream…
"When you've finished your scales, Jessica."
"Oh, Daddy!"
But they weren't alone either. There was a woman on the floor and she looked just as much of an English Rose as the day he met her.
"Daphne." He murmured and went to her side. He knelt down beside her and slipped his arms about her waist. "I love you."
She grinned at him; "you're a daft sod, Dr Crane."
He always knew he was in trouble when she called him that.
But she wasn't alone either. Sitting next to her was an 18-month-old boy putting the pieces into his wooden jigsaw. A little version of himself at that age.
"Sod!" The boy repeated, pointing at his father.
"That's Daddy!" Daphne laughed.
"Daddy sod." The boy agreed.
"He's got your father's stubborn streak." She smiled. "We should never have named him Martin."
"Daddy?"
Niles looked up, he recognised the voice. Soft and sweet…her accent American and not British. "Ellen?" He called and looked instinctively at the window.
He saw her there; standing just as Jessica had stood in his other dream. Her curls were being blown by the bitter wind and she was shivering. He hurried over to her.
"Come in, it's freezing."
"I can't." She told him, "I don't exist here, Daddy."
That was what the other child had said. "Wh-what do you mean?"
"I don't exist if you're not with Mommy."
"No, wait, I-"
"You can't have us both…I love you, Daddy…"
**********
He woke up with a jolt, desperate to get back to that beautiful house. He'd known he was dreaming again, even as he'd dreamed. And yet he felt lose. That life with Daphne…so real…so simple. Just him and her and their children, something he would never know in reality. The dream, the illusion…it was torture. How could he have come so close and lost in the final moments? All those years he'd held on to the hope that one day he could be with Daphne…
And perversely he had, for all of about ten minutes.
Dreams of what might have been were all he had left hold on to now.
Mel opened her eyes, smiled at him and cuddled in beside him. She closed her eyes again and he was glad of that. He didn't want to answer any questions right now.
He lay his head against hers and let his mind drift.
After a few moments, he slept again…
**********
He was on a ship. Standing on the deck of a large cruiser, the sea breeze whipping at his hair. He could smell the salt in the air, taste it on his lips.
It was freedom…
But he wasn't alone. A woman stood beside him, his height with long deep red curls being tossed about by the wind.
"Pity we don't get more jobs like this, S."
His nickname…S. It stood for shrink; she hadn't liked his first name. She'd wrinkled her nose when he told her what it was,
"Guess you must have really suffered at school with a name like that, huh?" Her words were light, jokey, but he detected a note of understanding in there too. "Well I ain't callin' you Crane. If I liked animals I'd have worked in a zoo."So she'd started to call him "Shrink" but that had complicated their work and "S" was born. He liked it; he'd never had a nickname before.
Well, not one given with respect anyway.
And somewhere in there, his like had grown to include her.
But again they weren't alone…
The ship captain was quietly and calmly filling them in on their latest case. The murder of a steward…the third crewman to die in as many months. Niles was here to provide a physiological profile of the killer…Anna was here to represent the police department.
It felt strange, working for the police, but he'd seen more pride in his father's eyes when he told him than at almost any other time in his life.
"Just like you're mother," he'd said.When the captain had finished, he and Anna began strolling along the deck. She took his hand. He looked at her in surprise; she didn't often do that when they were working. She felt it was unprofessional and to some extent he agreed.
"Beautiful isn't it?" She said, waving her hand out across the sea.
"You're beautiful…" he whispered and kissed her.
***********
Niles felt lips on his, and heard a giggle. He opened his eyes to see Mel leaning over him, wrapped in a towel with another around her head.
"Good morning." She smiled and went back into the bathroom. Niles watched her go, still disturbed by his dreams. What had they meant? In one he was with Mel, another with Daphne and the last he'd lived a life without either of them.
But he hadn't been alone…in all of them he was happy and he was with someone. Maybe that was what his subconscious was trying to tell him. To comfort him.
No matter what happened from this moment forward, he wouldn't be alone. Someone was waiting for him. It couldn't be Daphne…and maybe it wouldn't be Mel…
But someone…
Could that be the inner meaning he so wanted to see?
Niles got out of bed, his heart aching at the thought of this day he must endure. He would be forced to watch his one true love be given to another and the hurt inside him right now was beyond anything he'd ever felt before.
But his dreams had given him hope, and he intended to hold it for all it was worth.
~~END~~
© T S "NORTHERN STAR" FENN