Rest Under the Roadhouse Sign
No, you won't.
Jo watched Dean leave, almost not knowing what to think. Sam's-no, she forced herself to acknowledge, not really Sam, but still-what he'd said echoed in her mind now, He thinks of you more as a little sister. Dean didn't know it, but he'd all but confirmed that, telling her to stay put, not wanting to be responsible for her getting hurt; but, really, she already had been. Little sister, indeed. He didn't see her as being big enough to help him with that, despite having just found him and dug a bullet out of his shoulder, and his threat didn't help either. She knew literally it was mostly an empty one, but the meaning wasn't- or, she thought she knew. She thought she knew Sam. She thought she knew what had happened to her father. She thought she knew enough to spot a demon. She thought there was more than just a one-sided, schoolgirl, crush. Guess maybe she didn't know anything. Her mother had been right. Her mother; all of sudden that was all Jo wanted. All she needed. A part of her screamed no, she was a big girl. She could deal with this.
She shook her head, said to no one, "Deal with what, Jo?" With a friend and someone she thought she could trust tying her up and….she stopped there. Superficially, she knew what had come all too close to happening, but yet, if she tried to rationalize anything right she spun herself in confusing circles.
She figured she could count on her mother's reaction, but she wasn't placing money on anything she thought about anyone right now. Looking around, though: her phone and the bottles of liquor tempting her to stay in case Dean did actually call and a way to forget everything when he didn't; the shattered glass and tossed aside rope and handkerchief and memories told her the one thing she did know. She couldn't stay here.
With a resigned, "Dammit," she grabbed her keys and got in the car and just started driving. When some idiot came around the corner cutting her off, she was able to miss him, but let out, "Goonass!" at which she smiled for half a second-it was something Ash had muttered once when he was drunk and had become a sort of joke-before she started crying. She pulled the car over, knowing she shouldn't be driving like that, especially as she assumed the adrenaline she'd been running on slowly drained out of her system, leaving her shaking too. Eventually, she stopped, mainly due to the headache that was now coming on. Gingerly, she fingered her forehead where …she'd hit the bar. She pulled down the mirror on the sun blocker. Damn, she looked a mess: hair every direction, tear stains bringing her mascara with it, big and bright lump on her forehead. Even more reason Dean thought…whatever.
Taking a breath, she wiped away the mascara and went to look for her bag to do a better cleanup job. Then, she'd find a motel for the night. That was when she saw the sign and realized where she was. She had pulled in the back of the back lot of the Roadhouse. She'd really driven that far already? Just that could of explained the crazy driver that she'd almost hit. A little too much to drink or ruffled feathers; knowing her mother, probably the second. Her mother. The last time she'd been here, she'd left in a hurry to get out on her own, prove should could, and make her father proud hunting. My daddy shot your daddy in the head….Boy, you're really carrying a torch for him, aren't you? Jo hiccupped through a sob that let a few more tears down as she couldn't block out Sam's voice. She did know it wasn't Sam, but it was his voice. She had thought she was a hunter. Some excuse for a hunter. A hunter who couldn't recognize a demon, a hunter who got carried away with her emotions; a girl who ran back to her mother. Yeah, that was something to be proud of. She pulled her keys out, killing the engine, but ultimately closed her eyes and rested her head against the steering wheel. She didn't really know why she'd come here and suddenly she couldn't bring herself to take another step to go inside, to go home. Just being here was enough. She'd get some sleep and move on in the morning.
"Jo? Hey, wake up!" He tapped on her window as he'd already tried the locked door. He was worried. It wasn't like her to show up unannounced; ok, maybe it was, but not for her to not come in and lock herself inside her car looking like she'd had one hell of a night.
Tables were scrapping against the floor as the newcomer who'd had a few too many sips his first night on the job helped her pack up the place for the night. He turned to her with a smile, "Jo?"
"JO!" he all but yelled one last time. If she really wanted to sleep in the car fine, but he decided to give it one more try, and then regretted it.
Jo blinked her eyes open; she'd fallen asleep. Then she jumped high enough to hit the ceiling of her car which turned her scream into a groan as she saw the ragtag figure of a man outside her car.
He put up his hands, "Easy, Jo. It's me, Ash. It's Ash, Jo."
Taking a few breaths to stop her racing heart, she managed to unlock the door.
She recognized it was Ash now opening the door, with a concerned, "Hey," but still, she recoiled.
"Jo, are you okay?"
She didn't answer, but suddenly she was really glad to see someone who wouldn't condemn her for anything and she hugged Ash tight in answer for a moment, before asking, "Did you tell her?"
"What? Ellen that you're back? No. She's probably asleep. I barely saw you out here, but some crazy thought told me it just might be you and to go check it out."
It was then Jo actually looked at Ash, "Ash," she sighed, "What are you wearing…." It looked like, well, she didn't even know, and it didn't really matter, "you know what? Don't answer that."
"What? It's my…"
"No," Jo sort of managed a sad, tired laughed.
Ash put up his hands in defeat, "Alright, fine. Well, did you plan on staying outside in your car all night or are you going to come in and party?"
She looked at him for a moment, patient, but worried and glanced at the Roadhouse. She may not have had a crystal clear reason for coming back, but come back she had, so she might as well ride it out. She nodded, "Yeah, ok, just not quite in a partying mood."
She saw Ash frown, but then she remembered the mess she looked and she realized she sounded a little hoarse. He prompted, "Here, let me help."
She didn't exactly recoil this time but she was quick to shoot it down, a little stronger, "No. No, I got it."
"Sure you do," Ash answered, neither sarcastic nor pushing, but leading the way.
"If you want to make sure she doesn't see you, we can take our secret way," Ash suggested a few steps from the back Roadhouse door, glancing to the fire escape.
At that, Jo did at least smile, if not tiredly, "That hasn't been secret for a long time, Ash."
"Well, that's why I recently discovered a super secret way to get in," he smiled excitedly.
Finally, Jo let out half a laugh. Some things never changed. She considered for a moment, but shook her head. She wouldn't hide like a child, at least.
"Fine," Ash grumbled good naturedly.
Luck was with them in that Ellen was either asleep or pretending to be since they didn't see or hear her as Jo got to her room and finally let herself relax. She was home. Here, she knew, she was safe. She crashed on the bed, barely pulling up the blanket.
The sun woke her up the next morning. She looked around before unenthusiastically getting up to clean up and then face the fallout from everything the night before, but sleep had helped. The first thing she settled for was a nice, hot shower, washing her face, getting the tangles out of her hair, getting the aches from her beat muscles, and just breathing in the relaxing steam. Finally, she at least looked presentable in the mirror, though there was only so much she could do about the lump on her forehead. She'd panicked last night. She supposed she had some right to, but she was at least some degree better this morning. She could fully realize that it really hadn't been Sam. Nowhere near Sam, really. She thought about just hitting the road, maybe even giving the boys a call. But, that wouldn't be fair to Ash. Her mom would be furious to find out she'd not only come back, but snuck in at night and left without even saying hello; and, there was still the doubt it had placed in her head. So, she took one more breath before heading downstairs where she wasn't surprised to see her mother already setting up for the day, even though they didn't open till the afternoon, only to turn around when she came in.
For a moment, they just stared at each other. Finally, Jo smiled tentatively and said, "Hey, mom."
She saw her mother give her look her over, kind of like the exchanges they'd had before after fights, until she finally relaxed and relented, "Jo, sweetheart, welcome home. Get over here."
That was all Jo needed before she went to her mother and accepted her embrace. Her mother was quick to notice, of course, "Joanna Beth, what did you do to you forehead?"
Jo stepped back, looking down, "It's fine."
She saw her mother raise her eyebrows, "Sure it is," before turning to the freezer and pulling out a bag of ice, "Here."
Reluctantly, Jo took it.
Ellen began, "It's good to see you, honey."
Jo smiled, "You too, mom…I'm sorry."
Her mother looked at her, "Yea, well, me too," and for a moment it was quiet before she asked, "Are you alright?"
With a slight shrug of her shoulders and a nod, Jo said, "Yeah…just, rough night."
Her mother nodded, patient, "Wanna tell me about it?"
Jo didn't meet her mother's eyes. Her mother didn't need to know details and she didn't really want to bring the guys into it, even though they had everything to do with it. There was one thing she could ask and needed to ask first, "How much do you really know about what happened between John and Dad?"
Clearly surprised, Ellen asked, "What? Jo, I told you what happened…and you should also know, I forgave the Winchesters a long time ago. Not to sound blasé, but I know accidents happen and John did all he could."
Jo swallowed, still not looking up, "But what if it wasn't really? What if he'd just been hurt and John thought there was nothing that could be done and just decided…" she blinked back tears; she wouldn't start crying again.
Ellen walked in front of the bar to where her daughter sat and joined her, "Jo, what in the world would make you say that?"
Jo shook her head and mumbled, "Just something I…that got in my head."
"Yea…how?" Ellen demanded, "Look at me."
She had almost said heard, but for the same reason she hadn't, she was evasive. It wasn't fair to bring Sam up for that, she knew, but she looked at her mother, "Do you know for sure?"
"Joanna Harvelle, you listen me. John Winchester, and his sons for that matter and what I know, is a good man. He came in here beat up every which way with blood on his hands and trying to apologize, but never quite making it out. Was I mad and hurt? Sure. I think I had a right to be, but not for one moment because I thought John hadn't done everything he could; if that man didn't look the picture of guilty and sorry, I don't know what would."
Jo nodded, "Ok."
"Ok? You going to tell me what's really going on?"
At that moment her phone rang. She didn't exactly hide the surprise. She got up, leaving the ice pack and her mother and after a moment answered, "Dean."
"Hey, Jo," for a moment that was it, neither quite knowing what to say, before Dean did, "I guess I just wanted to make sure you were really alright?"
Jo nodded and meant it when she answered, "Yeah," she paused a moment, "How are you guys? Everything ok?"
She could imagine Dean glancing down at his slight pause, "Yea, I think you should keep your day job before swapping it out for a medic, but shoulder and all, you didn't do so bad, Jo…and," she heard a voice in the background, but she couldn't quite make it out, "got things worked out with Sam over at Bobby's. If it's ok, he wants to talk to you, too."
She gave herself a breath before nodding, "Yea, ok."
"Jo? I am so sorry. I know that doesn't even begin to cover it…"
Jo blinked, shaking her head at how she could have been so stupid to not recognize that something had been off last night. This was Sam. Warm voice and caring, but not quite sure what to say to make it better, not cold and a calculating taunt as it had been. She paused, but only to think what she wanted to say, "It wasn't your fault. I know you'd never do that."
And then, again as it had totally not the night before, Sam started talking fast enough to say sorry and what he needed to, but still caring and meaningfully; finally, she had to say, "Sam! Slow down. I know. It's good."
"One more thing," he said in that same voice she knew, "I definitely know my brother. Jo, he's overprotective by nature, of everyone, and it's normally because he cares a hell of a lot about them, though you won't hear him say it. I don't know, what I guess I'm trying to say, even if it's none of my business, I can pretty much guarantee you he likes you a lot more than a sister.
She had started smiling about halfway through-it had sounded like the car radio at first, maybe the two bickering, but then as Sam had gotten on that topic, she heard a door shut; whether or not they needed it, she was pretty sure Dean had just made a gas and snack stop- and now she was blushing. She had to do something about controlling her emotions, but she ended, "Yea, thanks, ok, take care, Sam.
Her mother had been generous enough to give her some privacy with her phone call, but came in wondering, "So, how are those boys?"
Jo smiled, "Ok, I guess. Truth is, I guess you could say we ran into each other on a job and they were just checking in. Everything's good." And it was. With a slightly suspicious, but accepting look, Ellen nodded, "So…"
Jo thought she would take some time, not necessarily because she was spooked or done with hunting, but because it wouldn't be a bad thing to do so, smooth things over with her mother, visit with Ash, and definitely do some research and pay better attention to the hunting stories their customers brought into the bar, "Am I okay to stay here for a while?"
Jo saw her mother look at her and realized that her mother probably suspected something had come up and wanted to know more, but also knew what could come of hunting. Maybe she herself could tell Jo a few things, beginning with, "You don't need to ask."
AN: No, don't own...things in italics are taken from the episode Born Under A Bad Sign...of for which, I know there are some cool and similar stories for out there, but i don't think quite something like this and every time I watch the episode I want more with Jo, so i hope you enjoy. Reviews and criticism are welcome, but please be considerate.