Notes:

Hey there! Unlike my last multi-chaptered fic, this story is NOT written in its entirety yet. I'm very hesitant to post any when it's unfinished, but I figured on the night of the season 7 premiere, might as well get this thing out there!

If I end up going back and reworking a chapter, I will let you know. Hopefully that does not happen.

I tried again with the Southern accent but I know I horrendously failed, so please forgive me for that. D:

Anyway, the beginning of this story is set during season 6. The story doesn't really follow the S6 canon. It starts off sometime after the group negotiates with the Hilltop about taking down Negan and does its own thing after that.

I refer to Jesus/Paul mostly as Jesus. I wasn't sure which one he goes by more? When Rick speaks to him directly it'll be 'Paul', but otherwise 'Jesus'. If that is incorrect or whatnot, I can perhaps go back and change it? Let me know!

I hope everyone is in character enough that it's believable. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 1:

Faint caresses trailed across his navel and upwards, skittering across his chest with an intimate familiarity that shouldn't have been possible. They had only been together like this a handful of times before, yet Rick felt he knew everything about the other man, and vice versa. He gazed down at his lover, taking in the sight of his bare chest and the muscles in his arm. His eyes roamed upwards and their eyes met, a simmering look shared between the two of them. And then the look in the other man's eyes turned mischievous and clever fingers pinched Rick's nipple.

"Ouch!" he yelped, jumping from the sensation but not untangling himself from the other man. "Knock it off, Paul," he scolded, but the corner of his mouth turned up to indicate he was kidding.

They were lying together in Alexandria, in a house that was still unoccupied. Despite caring for Jesus, Rick wasn't quite ready to divulge how much their relationship had progressed to his family or to the Alexandrians. Jesus was visiting with a small group from the Hilltop to exchange reports and observations. Mainly worries over Negan and the increasing activity from the violent group he led. After the meetings everyone had parted ways, with the Hilltop group occupying a guest house until they left the next morning.

Rick and Jesus had departed together with the excuse they were going to finalize some sort of defense plan together. No one was none the wiser.

Rick was pulled from his thoughts as Jesus leaned over and planted a gentle kiss next to his left nipple. His lips lingered for a moment before he began to suck, leaving another hickey along with the others that were scattered haphazardly across his pectorals. The man certainly had an obsession with marking him. Rick smiled, leaning back more firmly into the pillows and let Jesus continue to suck on his skin, ignoring the sharp pinpricks of the other man's teeth.

When Jesus had finished and resumed cuddling next to him, Rick wrapped an arm around him and breathed in the scent of his hair. It was a mixture of the usual sweaty musk every person carried with them since the apocalypse, and natural oils, but beneath it was a comforting odor of an earthy tone that reminded Rick of the woods. Oftentimes he imagined that was what Daryl would smell like if they were ever this close, but the thought brought him a colossal sense of guilt and embarrassment. He shouldn't be thinking about his family member in such a way when he was cradling another man in his arms.

Jesus seemed to know whenever the uncomfortable thoughts entered his head, for he would snuggle up closer and kiss Rick's jawline gently, as if soothing him. And it was no different from this night. After the mortifying idea popped into his brain, Rick began to wriggle with distress and Jesus leaned closer, kissing him softly. Melting into the gentle and pacifying sensations, he closed his eyes and moaned quietly.

"Rick," the other man breathed, and the soft wisp of Jesus' breath tickled at his cheek.

"Hm?" he asked, his eyes still closed.

Wet laps at his left nipple, and Rick cracked an eye open to watch as Jesus licked at the puckered flesh. As if sensing that he had Rick's attention, Jesus looked up at him, his intense gaze blazing into Rick's.

"I know you were thinking about him." A sardonic smile reached the Hilltop man's lips. "Again," he added.

Rick sputtered, looking for strong enough words to refute the accusation.

Jesus sat up to face Rick more fully, but there was no anger on his face. Rick had expected jealousy, fury, or even sadness. But instead Jesus was smiling fondly at him, the same as he always did. Before he could speak, a nimble finger was placed against his lips, followed by a butterfly soft kiss. It was a chaste peck, but it was reassuring all the same.

"I know you care about me, Rick. I'd even go so far as to claim you love me." A small laugh. "But I know you care about Daryl too. And you have long before I came into the picture."

"No, Paul, you-"

"Stop." The smile was gone now, and Rick knew it was time to shut up and listen. It wasn't often that Jesus was completely serious, and when he was, the leader of Alexandria knew someone was either in deep shit or they better zip up and pay attention.

"I would be a fool not to notice the way you look at him. It's the same way you look at me." Again, there was nothing but acceptance in the way Jesus looked at him. Perhaps even some excitement? Rick was confused, his heart beating a disjointed rhythm that he could barely handle.

"Why haven't you told him?" Jesus asked, and he shifted, the sheet pooling suggestively in his lap. Rick had to pry his gaze away from the exposed skin to focus on the other man's face.

The thought to deny, deny, deny was at the forefront of his mind. How could he admit that he cared for another right in front of his lover? But the calm face in front of him was as reassuring as it always was, and the fondness in the opposite gaze was just as strong as before. "He wouldn't…understand," Rick finally croaked.

"You think he's going to treat you differently because you like men just as much as you do women?" Jesus asked, no joking in his tone. He genuinely wondered why Rick was so afraid, wasn't making fun of the way he felt. What had Rick done to deserve this gentle and compassionate soul?

Rick shrugged, forcing himself to swallow past the lump in his throat. "Not necessarily. I just think he may react differently if he knows I like him."

His lover nodded. "I can understand that."

The former lawman smiled weakly and cradled Jesus' face with his calloused hand. "If ya hadn't approached me first, this would'a never happened. I was barely able to ask Lori out." Saying his deceased wife's name didn't bring the same pain that it once did. Her ghost didn't haunt him as fiercely as it once had. Her memory was a fleeting ache that was quickly gone when his eyes resumed their gaze into Jesus'. Rick leaned forward and kissed Jesus, soaking up the taste of the other man's lips and tongue. "Thank god you live fearlessly," Rick sighed as their kiss ended.

"Fearlessly?" Jesus asked, and an amused smirk curled his lip. He was clearly pleased by the compliment. "Who is braver than Rick Grimes?" he purred, and he leaned down, balancing his weight on his knees.

And then the cunning mouth was teasing Rick's cock, coaxing it quickly to full hardness.

….

Jesus was gone for an entire month before he returned with an even smaller group than before. They had brought some supplies for trade and the people of Alexandria were mingling with their allies. Rick only had eyes for his lover, and as he surveyed him from atop the guard tower, he couldn't help but notice that the younger man seemed more haggard than usual. Nervously toying with his holstered Colt Python, Rick had to force himself to turn away and watch the perimeter.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice the creaking of the ladder indicating someone was ascending before they were already clambering up onto the platform next to him. Rick's heart nearly burst out of his chest when he saw that it was Daryl. Since his awkward post-coital conversation with Jesus, he had been even more aware of the archer. He over analyzed his interactions with Daryl, felt more awkward around him, felt that everyone was aware of how Rick felt about him.

"Hey," he grunted, leaning down to offer Daryl a hand up.

The hunter clasped his hand and accepted the assistance. Daryl muttered his own greeting and then leaned against the railing, looking down at the small group of Hilltop civilians. "Think they have any good news?" he asked.

Rick frowned, casting his own gaze down at Jesus and his companions. "Probably not."

A tiny smirk flashed across Daryl's mouth and Rick felt his heart hammer. "Yeah, probably not," the archer agreed.

Daryl fiddled in his pocket and pulled out a battered box of cigarettes. He pulled out one of the few remaining cigarettes, absently offering the box in Rick's direction. Rick shook his head and Daryl put the container back into his pocket.

Watching as Daryl took in a deep drag and then exhaled the smoke slowly, he couldn't help but fixate his gaze on the other man's mouth. Daryl was so unaware of how attractive he was. Even when smoking he was intoxicating, his lips wrapping around the end of the cigarette like he was making love to it. It just wasn't fair! With a huff, Rick spun around to once again look at the outside perimeter, taking count of the amount of walkers that were shuffling close by.

"What's wrong with ya?" Daryl mumbled, and without looking at him Rick knew that the cigarette would be dangling between his lips as he spoke.

"Jus' stressed is all," he answered quickly, resting his forearms against the railing and staring at the horizon. His brows furrowed as if he was in deep thought.

The archer didn't reply for a few seconds, but when he did, all Rick received was a grunt in response.

"What?" Rick asked, finally turning back to face the object of his desire that had been invading his every thought for the past year. Well, that is, until Jesus had arrived and started to mingle, the craving for both of the men intertwining fiercely in his mind. He hadn't cared about two people so much since…well, his children.

An arched brow greeted him. The smirk was back too. Rick felt his heart beat faster at the sight of it. "Nothin'," Daryl retorted.

He narrowed his eyes at the hunter, but in the end his glare dissolved into a fond smile. "Did ya need somethin' Mr. Dixon?" he asked, his tone teasingly exasperated.

Tan shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. "Nah," Daryl drawled.

Shaking his head, Rick waved Daryl away. "Quit distractin' me then. I gotta watch the wall."

"Whatever ya say, Mr. Grimes," Daryl answered before he turned to climb back down the ladder, giving his leader one last smirk before disappearing.

And Rick tried to ignore the way his breath caught so sharply in his chest.

….

"Negan's group has killed three more of our people."

Jesus stood at the front of the church, the grave look on his face matching the tone of his voice. The sun was setting, shining through the stained glass windows and throwing beautiful colors across the floor. Some red and yellow flecks of light fell on Jesus' chest. The Hilltop messenger paused to look in turn around the chapel, sharing a pained stare with his own community members. His gaze continued on to those he had become friends with that lived in Alexandria. Finally his eyes settled on Rick, and the leader of Alexandria tried to send all of the support he could convey in a look alone.

"Gregory demands to know your progress on a plan. He's growing increasingly anxious."

Rick stood at that, nodding at Abraham and Eugene as he passed the pew they were sitting in. Sasha gave him a grim smile of encouragement. Glenn and Maggie sat together, hands clasped tightly. Both of them stared at him with unwavering, trusting gazes. He didn't have the time to look at the rest of his family, but he could feel their support without seeking out their faces.

When he reached the front of the church he shared a quick look with Jesus. Longing and promise were entangled in their mutual gaze. But they were each professional, the joint stare lasting only seconds, knowing that they must protect their people and discuss the problem. Some things were more important than desire.

"Our lookouts have been doin' some scouting," Rick began, turning to face the congregation. His eyes automatically sought out Daryl, who was leaning against the wall, solitary as usual. The archer gave him an almost imperceptible nod. "Negan, or a group of his at least, has a compound to the northwest. About an hour from here. Thirty, maybe forty men. I think if we surprise 'em, we could take 'em in one go."

A slight murmuring arose at that, mostly from the more docile members of Alexandria. To his distaste, almost the entire town was at the meeting, cramming the benches full and causing others to stand.

"We haven't gotten far enough to plan out the attack, but we're gettin' there."

The low voices grew in strength, and Rick noticed that one man from the Hilltop in particular was getting louder. He overheard a harshly spat, "Gave 'em practically everythin' we 'ad and they spent a month playin' spy?"

Normally he might have gone into attack mode merely for the simple insult. Instead he turned to Jesus, noticing that his lover was already glaring at the rabble-rouser.

"At least you've gotten that far. It's more than anyone else has done," Jesus spoke, and his voice carried to the back of the church, effectively snuffing out everyone else's words. He turned to Rick and his eyes were stormy. "Gregory won't be happy, but at least there's progress. I urge Alexandria to move faster."

And the crowd's muttering was back.

….

They were back in the unoccupied house, in the same sheets that they had been twisted in last time. The husky aroma of sex filled the room. Rain gently pattered against the windows, at odds with the ferocious sounds that were growled, hissed, and shouted out. Jesus groaned and grabbed at the headboard, his hands gripping the end of the bed like a bird's talons. Rick's hands were like vices around his hips, hanging on with a punishing hold. He plunged into the other man at a vicious pace, both of them working out their frustrations and fears together.

When he finally came, he did so with a thunderous roar, emptying into Jesus with one of the most satisfying climaxes he had ever experienced. Before he collapsed into an exhausted heap on the bed, Rick reached around and grabbed Jesus' hard cock. The other man had neglected it, choosing instead to use his hands to steady himself as Rick fucked him. Rick only needed to jerk Jesus' length a few times before Jesus too was coming, a strangled yowl exiting his mouth as he did.

"Wow," Jesus sighed when they had finally caught their breath.

Rick was lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling, a serene smile on his face. It wasn't often he felt this peaceful or at ease anymore. The moments were becoming rarer and rarer. He didn't want to fall asleep and lose the night, but he could feel exhaustion coaxing him towards slumber.

"Rick."

The last time Jesus had said his name like that after sex he had revealed that he knew how Rick felt about Daryl. Rick felt a jolt of fear prickle through him. "Yeah?" he asked quietly.

Jesus leaned up on his forearm. "I want you to be careful."

Rick looked into his lover's eyes, surprised to see the amount of fear he saw there. "What do ya mean?" he asked, his voice even quieter than before.

"Negan won't be as easy to take down as you think. Be careful. I don't know what I would do if… Well, just be careful. I don't like this." It wasn't normal for Jesus to sound so unsettled, for his voice to be so broken, for him to remain so serious.

Rick grabbed his lover and pulled him to his chest, petting the long hair and smoothing it down. "It'll be okay," he whispered.

"You don't know that."

….

Waking before five in the morning without an alarm was a skill that he had acquired during his policing days. It hadn't faded because of the apocalypse. He blinked wearily, glad to see that it was still dark outside. He could go back to sleep for a little longer if he wanted to. Rick turned his head to the left to look at the man that was lying in a curving shape, with his right arm thrown across Rick's chest. To be honest, it wasn't a surprise to see that the other man was awake and staring up at him, the worried expression from the night before still painted on his face.

"Hey," he murmured, leaning down to place a kiss on the tip of Jesus' nose.

Jesus gave him a weak smile before rising up to give him a proper kiss. Their tongues met just briefly, unable to help themselves. "Gross. Morning breath," his lover teased when they parted.

Lip lifting into a smirk, Rick rolled, pushing Jesus onto his back and pinning him there. He straddled his lover and lowered his mouth, licking a long stripe along the other man's cheek. Struggling now, Jesus began to protest in earnest, but he could hear the laughter behind the objections. Rick ignored him, pushing harder in order to keep him in place. Licking at the creases of Jesus' mouth, he then moved on to Jesus' ear.

"Rick! Stop!" Screams, intermixed with laughter.

When he stopped, Jesus was finally giving him an easy smile.

….

Showering together had become a soothing ritual that Rick enjoyed almost as much as he did their sexual encounters. It was a calming occurrence that proved how familiar and comfortable they were with one another. They would both get wet and then take turns washing one another, mapping out each other's bodies all over again every time. The shower in the master bath was so large that there were two showerheads. They could have each bathed independently and had plenty of room to move freely. But they craved one another, yearned to be close. Standing under the spray, Rick held Jesus close in an intimate embrace, enjoying the skin contact and warm water rolling along his skin.

He didn't know how long they had been standing like that, every possible inch in contact with one another, when he felt Jesus' lips move against his chest. "Wha'?" Rick asked, his voice sleepy with contentment.

Jesus pulled his head away and stared at him. "I think you should tell him," he said, and though his voice was quiet the words were weighted heavily and seemed to echo in the small space.

He wasn't going to play dumb and act like he didn't know what Jesus was talking about. His lover wanted him to tell Daryl how he felt about him. "Why?" he asked, and he couldn't help the annoyed tone.

"You never know what's going to happen. What if he dies tomorrow? What if you do?"

Rick chuckled. "Then the secret goes to the grave."

He leaned in to give the smaller man a kiss, but Jesus pulled away even more. A frown marred the face he was so used to seeing a smile on. Jesus was actually…upset with him. That hadn't happened yet. So far their romance had been fun and games, light hearted and without trouble.

His annoyance from before instantly doubled. Rick too pulled away, untangling his arms from around his lover's body. "What does it matter to you?" he spat. "Ya gonna share me, Paul?"

He knew Jesus so well, felt like they had been together since the beginning of time. It was the same feeling he had with Daryl. They were just so in sync, understood each other on a primal level. But the Hilltop messenger was still so unpredictable to Rick. When he expected an explosion of indignation, the other man instead crossed his arms and remained calm. "And what if I wasn't opposed?"

The former lawman deflated at the question. How do you respond to a discloser like that? He opened his mouth, closed it. What did Jesus mean? In frustration, Rick rubbed at the bridge of his nose and then pinched it, trying to ground himself.

Jesus spoke before he could find something to say. "I may not know Daryl as well as you do, Rick. But that doesn't mean I don't want to get to know him better." He approached Rick and grabbed at his hands, and Rick didn't fight the smaller man.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive." Rick's eyes flicked down straight into Jesus' tender gaze. His lover was smiling slightly, a mischievous curl to his lips. "He's got a certain… hillbilly charm."

Rick batted his hands away at that and Jesus laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he soothed, grabbing hold of Rick's hands again. "He's ruggedly good looking," he amended. It was a moment before he continued, this time his voice serious. "I see why you love him." The smile on his lover's face grew slightly and he shushed Rick when he tried to argue. "Okay fine, care about him." The knowing smirk was infuriating. "And if you care about him so much… Well, then I know I will too."

Shaking his head, Rick laughed without any humor. "You act like he's going to say yes. It's one thing to find out one man wants you. But if I tell him we both want to fuck him?" It wasn't like Rick to use such course language, but he was feeling trapped and helpless. Couldn't Jesus see how stupid of an idea it was?

The playful smirks and smiles from seconds before were gone in a flash. Jesus was suddenly closed off, distant. "You never know," he said, and Rick couldn't discern the emotion he heard in his lover's voice.

And then Jesus was exiting the shower. Rick was left with a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach and a disconcerting feeling of déjà vu.

….

At eight that morning, the group of Hilltop citizens gathered at the front gates and said their goodbyes, armed with the goods they had traded for and the information they had gathered. Jesus was still refusing to speak to him, upset or offended or whatever the hell it was. Rick did his best to ignore his lover, acting like it didn't bother him. He went about his business with his own people, fortifying walls, commenting on the gardening, speaking with members of his family.

But as the last of the Hilltop group loaded up in the van they had arrived in, Rick rushed towards the vehicle before it could leave. Knocking on the driver side window, he waited until Jesus rolled it down. The sour look on the smaller man's face was enough to make Rick suddenly bashful. But he made himself make eye contact and say, "Drive careful and stay safe. You never know what could happen."

Words that echoed what Jesus had said in their earlier conversation seemed to make the harsh look on his lover's face soften. He smiled slightly and extended his hand, giving Rick a crushing handshake. "We'll be okay. Thank you," he said. With a lowered voice, Jesus added, "And just think about what I said."

A bittersweet smile found its way to his face. But Rick nodded all the same. "I will."