James remembers their first time. He remembers that it was summer, in the woods behind his house. He remembers that they'd been eating; thinking up ways to torture Snivelus, that Sirius had been hot and had taken off his shirt. He remembers how things just got out of control.
"Harder Sirius"
"James…Oh Merlin James!"
"Deeper Padfoot! More, now, now!"
"Prongs, you're so tight…You're mine."
Sirius remembers when James told him he was marring Lily. How he talked about her hair, the way she laughed, the way she smiled. Sirius remembers the ache in his heart knowing he had lost James.
"I love her Padfoot."
"I know Prongs."
"I'll always love you."
"But not enough."
James remembers their last time. The frantic pounding of flesh, the heated words of lust and love. He remembers the feel of Sirius coming inside of him, sweat dripping from their brows, breath playing on each other's skin.
"Again James."
"Can't too tired."
"Again, now, right…..NOW!"
"Oh Merlin Padfoot, YES!"
Sirius remembers when Harry was born, the pain on Lily's face, the pride swelling in James. He remembers tears in his eyes as he looked at his Godson. Hugging James tightly as Lily fed Harry from her breast.
"He's beautiful Prongs."
"Got Lil's eyes."
"You're annoying face."
"You as a God Father, poor kid."
James remembers their last kiss, the sweetness of Sirius's lips against his own, the swell of Sirius' hips against his hands, the feel of Sirius' warmth pressed into him, the tears, and the terror.
"James he's coming, for Lily, you and Harry, it has to be Peter."
"No! Sirius, it needs to be you! Don't leave me."
"They'll come after me thinking I'm your secret keeping. I'll keep them from you."
"I love you Padfoot."
Sirius remembers when James died, he remembers figuring out it was Peter who'd betrayed them, the roar of his motorcycle as he tried to reach them in time. The look on Peter's face when he realized Sirius was going to kill him, he remembers the shock as Peter killed innocent people and changed into a rat.
"There he is Sirius Black!"
"Catch him, get him, murderer!"
"Oh dear God not Sirius!"
"Look at what he did to poor Peter Pettigrew! To Azkaban!"
Sirius remembers when he first saw Harry, darkness and fear riddled the air, the boy was afraid. Sirius remembers itching from flea bites; he was parched, hungry, and dirty. He remembers thinking Dear Merlin, it's James!
A wand is drawn
The Knight Bus shows up
A tall gangly youth
Peering faces, curious eyes.
James remembers when he saw Sirius again. The coldness of life on the other side of the veil, how pale, thin and tired Sirius looked, alone, sad. He remembers them looking at each other, shock, love, fear, anger flowing through them.
"No…Sirius, you have to go back."
"I can't, I'm dead now. You're here, don't make me James.
"You have to go back, for Harry, you're his only hope. You have to go back."
"I know, but let me hold you first."
James remembers pushing Sirius back through the veil knowing several years have passed already. He remembers the loss he felt at leaving Sirius again. James remembers Lily appearing behind him to comfort him, because she knows, she's always known.