Okay this means someone is thinking
And this is her zanpaktou
Rained streaked down the window glass like tears do on human cheeks, it matched the young women sitting on the window panes mood. Her name was Terra. Just Terra, she had no last name. That was one reason she was looked down upon so much. Terra didn't mind everyone looking down on her until he did it. His reason wasn't for the name but something else.
She had found love, or so she thought, in someone she met in the real world. It was forbidden to love a human, a living being, and even though it was forbidden she did. The man held her just right and promised her the world. Being young and naive she believed anything she was told, her true downfall.
Terra stood as he entered her room and they stood in silence for a moment. Pain laced his spiritual pressure as did grief in hers. Guilt mixed from both before one spoke, "Dinner shall be in an hour. Please be ready." His tone was cold, not that she deserved anything else.
The mans name was Byakuya Kuchiki, the man with the cold heart. She had warmed it once but after what happened he closed himself off again. He had opened it up after many years of feeling nothing only to be shattered. Terra did not know but he loved her and when she was with the other man he died inside.
His heart slowly cracked but then filled with hatred. He hated that he held her tight, that he held her love, and that she loved him. But worst of all he hated watching him deceive her. Terra wouldn't believe him at all and for that she was truly pained. Words were not spoken between the two since and it was finally healing.
"I am not feeling well, Byakuya-sama. I will not be dining with you tonight. My apologies." His pressure changed to hate before flashing back. Byakuya turned to the door before stopping.
"Your self pity will not solve anything. If you wish to solve a problem you must face it especially if you want forgiveness."
Terra smiled softly, a broken smile that tore the wall around his heart down. "Who said I wanted to be forgiven?" she turned back to the window and simply stared. Byakuya did not leave the room which confused her. She turned to look at him and gasped. He face was full of sorrow, but not for himself. He felt it for her.
"How can you wish to not be forgiven? You are buried in your self pity to far. Have you not notice others try and reach towards you? Your friends are waiting for you to make a move. The question is, will you make it in time?" after the sentence left his mouth hi eyes filled with tears and he excused himself from her room.
'What friends?' she thought sadly. 'No one would wish to socialize with myself after what I did.' She pondered what he meant for a minute before standing. Terra walked towards the door and walked to the garden. As she walked in between the rows of flowers her façade broke down. By the end of the garden, which ended by the pond, she fell on her knees and sobbed.
She cried for her friends, for her stupidity for loving the human, and she cried for him. The one she truly hurt. Though she wouldn't admit it, she cried for herself. How could she have been so stupid? Sobs heaved through her body heavily and did not cease for a while.
From a window in the house a group of people watched in sorrow. Their friend was dear to them but she needed to cry. No comfort was to come until it broke through. If someone were to comfort her she would return to her state from before. "It's a shame she is in pain alone." a long white haired man spoke.
"Captain, she needs this even though it pains me as well." Rukia spoke to Captain Ukitake.
A few others in the room nodded. Stares placed themselves on Byakuya's back afterwards. He was the only one to not acknowledge anything. Inside his calm demeanor he was crying with her. Rukia signaled for everyone to leave the room and followed after looking back to her brother just once. She knew once the door shut he would break down. It was no secret he loved Terra, he just wished it was.
Terra was inside her room a few hours later staring blankly at the wall. She thought back to the man she loved, or thought she did. It turned out he was married and had no intention of staying with her. Terra was a side dish compared to his wife. She was a filler for his urges when his wife was away.
After she learned this she ran from him cursing his name. She sat on a roof and let the rain pour onto her. She hoped she would get sick and die then maybe the hurt would leave. Of course she had no such luck. Byakuya showed up and tried to help her. That's when it happened, she blamed him for everything.
Terra blamed him for her lost love and it went on from there. She expected him to shout at her for being rude but he just stood there taking it. When she was done he simply stared at her, if it wasn't raining she would have seen his tears start but when she was done she noticed them. Startled by the fact he was crying she reached out. He flinched and said it was time to leave before turning and flash stepping away.
Tears slid down her cheeks as she remembered Byakuya's broken eyes. Inside she could imagine the sound of his heart breaking. She had no clue he loved her not even a suspicion. Now she was paying for it, his heart was guarded probably never to open again, and it was her fault.
"Terra?" the voice belonged to her sword Akira.
Terra smiled at the voice. "I thought you were never going to talk to me again."
"I realize that it wasn't your fault, I am sorry. I know you hate it when people tell you things but you need to live again. Stop crying and do something about it."
As fast as the voice came, it left. It was strange for Terra because after that knowledge she felt better. Her friend's words should have helped but her zanpaktou made her see the truth. She realized that her sword was a part of her soul and it dawned on her. Terra needed to accept herself before she could heal. Her sword pulsed at her side and she grinned.
Tomorrow, Terra promised she would leave the house in a better mood. She would become her true self.
The sun shined through the window brightly onto Terra's face and made her groan. She turned over and tried to drift back to sleep. With no such luck she sat up and stretched. Today she was going to set things right, starting with Byakuya, hopefully. She dressed in a comfortable uniform and grabbed Akira, she had to work today.
Terra looked at herself one last time before walking out of her room. She passed Byakuya's room on the way and she glanced inside noting that the door was open. "He left early this morning if you are looking for him." Rukia's voice startled Terra and she jumped a bit.
"Oh," she sounded disappointed. "Okay thanks!" for the first time in a while she smiled at Rukia. Rukia looked shocked.
"I know I haven't smiled in a while but I finally feel better and I would like to say I'm sorry Rukia." She bowed low to Rukia and a noise rang in her ears. "Rukia! Are you okay?" she asked worried.
I'm fine," she dabbed her eyes. "I just missed you so much! I'm glad you are back to yourself."
Terra smiled softly and grabbed hold of Rukia's sleeve pulling her out of the house and towards the divisions. Once they were inside Rukia went to her division while Terra went to hers, which happened to be Byakuya's. 'That's handy.'
Her smile was soon swept off her face when she arrived. Everyone in the division was avoiding her and had a sad look in their eye. Terra wondered why but soon forgot when she arrived next to her captains office. When she opened the door she was greeted by Renji and Byakuya arguing. They hadn't seemed to notice her entrance.
"I don't care if you personally don't want her here, she doesn't need to be kicked out this squad!" Renji growled.
"You are not the captain of this squad. I am doing what is best for this squad." Byakuya said in an icy tone.
Renji scoffed, "The best for the squad or the best for you? Ever since she found someone else and has been depressed you have become worse! If you do this I am pretty sure that you will regret it."
Terra coughed to get their attention. Both their eyes widened and shock was written over their faces. "T-terra," was all Renji could say.
"It's okay Renji; if I am a threat to the squad I can leave. No harm done right?" she lied. As she spoke those words her heart crumbled. 'Have I really become that big of a problem?' she bowed to her captain and Renji. "I will await my dismissal papers Captain Kuchiki."
With that said she left the company. Tears threatened to spill over her lashes as she raced through the hallways apologizing for bumping into people. Back in the room, two hearts ached; one for a friend another for love. Byakuya had truly just hurt someone he loved and it probably hurt him more than it hurt her.
Terra ran to a place she knew where she would be allowed to roam free, the execution ground. She remembered when Rukia was almost put to death here. It killed her to have to watch it. Byakuya held her hand all the way there and didn't let go until Ichigo arrived. Once she was free she just sat on the ground looking around. Chaos was all around her and she just sat there.
When it was all over she watched Byakuya and Rukia talk before standing and leaving. No one knew where she went for a month until she showed up at the Kuchiki manor. It surprised everyone she was alive. Most had thought she had died in the battle and her body had disappeared.
Terra never told anyone where she went and she hoped she never will; it was her weakness. She had gone to her old home, the one in the poorest part in the Soul Society. When she arrived there she began to punish herself, causing her body and mind pain. She starved herself and gave herself wounds. Terra told herself she was worthless and no one cared about her.
In actuality everyone in the sixth division was ordered to look for her. They looked for weeks until they finally gave up, all except Byakuya and Renji. They were so worried about her and they strained their bodies looking for her. Sadly though she hasn't been told of this, she believed no one looked and no one tried to change her mind.
"Terra," Byakuya said breathlessly. She turned around to see him gasping for air and a small hand print was on his cheek. Terra flinched at the redness of it, someone disliked him for something.
She bowed to him and responded, "Yes Captain Kuchiki?"
Byakuya groaned and walked towards her slowly still catching his breath. He looked strained before struggling with his words, "I-I'm sorry." Terra's eyes widened and she gasped. 'Why is he apologizing? I am the one who made his life horrible.'
"W-what?"
"You needed help getting over him and I didn't try and help. No one told you this before either because I ordered them not to but we looked for you after the war. My whole division spent weeks looking for you but no one could find a clue. Afterwards Renji and I looked when everyone else needed to get to work. For all of this, I am truly sorry."
Tears rained down her face as he spoke words that tore her heart. She thought that they gave up on her when they looked. Terra fell to her knees and sobbed. He knelt beside her and held her as she cried.
He longed to hear the words he always had but he knew now wasn't the time. Byakuya wanted her to know there was an option though and whispered in her ear before leaving her with flash step. "I love you."
It had been two months since Byakuya whispered those words to her and she was just feeling the effects. She blushed at the thought of him thinking of her and got attention of her friends.
"Why the sudden blush, ne?" Rangiku pressed.
Terra blushed more for being caught, "Just thinking of something someone said to me."
Curious eyes looked at her after this comment and she excused herself. She did not feel like explaining it to them. Terra smiled at the thought of Byakuya again and blushed. She looked towards the sixth division and sprinted towards it.
Without waiting for permission to enter the room she threw open the door. Inside Renji was doing paperwork and Byakuya was as well. They both looked up at her angry at first before looking confused. Terra was smiling and ran towards Byakuya's desk. "I love you too."
Renji excused himself from his work for a 'stretch' and the two were left alone. Byakuya stood his face expressionless. He walked over to Terra who stopped smiling confused. "I'm glad." He said before embracing her in his arms.