Talk Show with Bartimaeus
Disclaimers: I do not own the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud if only i did, pentacles, jelly doughnuts, circles, Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado, memory black-outs/white-outs, demons of any kind, Earth do u think im going too far, cat-like reflexes, or anything else that you don't think I own! If you thought i owned circles or anything else, YOU NEED HELP! But, I do own the Earth! jk! DON'T SUE ME!
Well, here's chapter 1! This will be my first fanfiction put on I've written other ones but their still on my personal website! Hope you like it!
"Dear Lucky Magician,
Congratulations! You have been chosen to take part in a live talk show hosted by-blah blah blah- come to some town in London on August 25th at 7:00 AM properly dressed-blah blah blah" read Nathaniel out load. He was too lazy to read the letter word for word. And too stupid! But he wanted to be on TV SOOOO badly that he would kill to do it! Well, thought Nat, maybe that wouldn't be the best idea since I summoned Bartimaeus incorrectly...
FLASHBACK!
"You are aware that this entire half of the pentacle isn't here!" said Bartimaeus in his usual Ptolemy form.
"Really?" said the boy as he inspected his circle.
"Yeah! Why is that?" The demon-I mean djinni- asked. "Not that I care! I just didn't want to leave the readers hanging!" he added quickly not wanting to sound like he cared.
Here was the little twerp who was holding a doughnut's response: "Weeell...I was about to summon you when Promiscuous came on on the radio! And that's like my favorite song-"
"Are you sure your not gay?" interrupted Barty.
Nat ignored this comment, smoothed back his hair in a very dignified way, took a bite of his pastry, and continued his speech. "Anyway...I was dancing and singing with Squishy-"
"Squishy?"
"My doughnut! DUH!...and I was still singing when I drew the pentacle...and then...uh...well..." Nathaniel scratched his head, deep in thought. "Aw! Stupid memory white-outs!"
"You mean black-outs." corrected Bartimaeus.
"Yeah! That's it!"
As Nathaniel droned on about squirrels over-enthusiastically, Barty decided to test his luck and step out of the circle. He took one step...then another...and well...it worked! Since half of the pentacle DIDN'T EXIST!
"Whoa! How'd you do that?" Nat was overwhelmed for some reason.
"Well...you see...the half of the circle that does exist has the rune that binds me to Earth (damn), but the other half, the one that binds me to you, is gone!" The djinni walked leisurely haha(AN sorry inside joke!) over to Nat.
"Don't even think about stealing Squishy! I have cat-like reflexes!" At this point he put his hands in the air to look like claws. "Hisssssssssssssss!"
"Well, I was just going to step on your foot, but that's a great idea!" And so Barty stole Squishy, and shoved it down his throat in one gulp. i know! Demons cant eat human food! but i really don't care "Mmmm...That was jelly filled! Where'd you get that? I'll have to go there." he commented.
Nat started to cry. Forever! "NOOO! SQIIISHY!" he screamed.
END FLASHBACK!
Nathaniel came out of his flashback sobbing quietly. Until he realized he was out of the flashback. Then he ran out the door and down the street as fast as he could. Which wasn't very fast…
He had to stop for a breather after about 3 minutes.(i can understand that. he couldn't climb 256 steps either!) Pathetic.
Then he started running again.
On his next rest stop he realized that he had no clue where he was going!
So he kept running...and running...then stopping...then running...then stoppingnot exactly the Energizer bunny! He would make it there...EVENTUALLY!
Nat ran into the theater where the talk show was taking place. Literally. He crashed into a wall because the lights weren't on yet. Being the stupid magician he is, Nat got the times wrong and came 1/2 an hour early.
He felt his way around for a while in the dark muttering, "Light switch...light switch...Hmmm...What's this?" He had found a random button. He pressed it not the best idea and a band of sirens went off scaring poor Natty Boy half to death. He slammed into the wall opposite, the sirens stopped, and the lights clicked on. "So that's where the light switch is!" observed Nathaniel. He would stow that information away for later.
As for now he walked warily off down the corridor and found himself in front of the stage.
He looked up...and got blinded by the lights that he had recently turned on.
He looked down...and smashed an ant that was about to climb onto his shoe.
He looked to the left...and saw a wall.
He looked to the right and..."Ooh shiny!" It was...a camera! "I wonder how you turn it on..."
As he made his way over he accidentally kicked a wheel. And just as curiosity killed the cat, it would be the death of Nathaniel too.
He pressed a random button. He shouldn't have done that. Last time he almost had a heart attack.
The camera moved slightly. "Ooh!" He pressed it again. The camera moved forward a few meters making Nat step forward. He pressed it AGAIN! Gee, hasn't he learned by now? The camera started to rapidly roll forward forcing Nat to chase after it.
He was still pressing buttons when it crashed into a potted plant against the wall closely followed by Nathaniel.
"Aw! That was expensive!" cried a voice from above him.
"What! Who said that?" Nat yelled as he pulled himself up.
"Well it's me, of course! The host!" said a very excited...
HAHA! CLIFFHANGER! Who's it gonna be? Review! PLEEEEASE!