Sometimes, if he really concentrated, he could still feel her presence in the small one-room desert bungalow he now called home. Sometimes it was the smell of her perfume or the faint sound of her laugh. Other times, it was a gentle caress of his calloused, worn hands or a playful tug on the now-graying beard she hated so much. One time, he could have sworn he saw her sitting in his old chair, staring at the dying embers of the fire he'd set to stay warm in the cold Tatooine night.
But – in a blink – she was gone and he was alone once again.
On those nights, sleep was hard to come by for Ben. He'd wrap himself in his old, rough Jedi robes and curl up on his old tattered mattress with the threadbare sheets and listen to the wind kick up the dust outside his door. The light from the two moons poured into his window and shone onto the dirt floor. He'd turn his love's alabaster earring – the only piece of her he was able to keep after all these years – end over end in his hand, bringing him comfort in a place where there was very little.
I failed you, Satine.
I failed you.
You're gone, and it's all my fault.
Maul only killed you to get back at me.
Gods, I'm so sorry.
All those years ago, I vowed to protect you. It seems like a lifetime ago that I made that promise. I suppose, now, it has been. And, in the end, I couldn't do it.
I wonder what my life would be like now, had you said the word, if we'd run away together like we talked about doing so many nights when we were hopeful teenagers looking up at the stars. I wish, now, that we had. In another life, we could have. But not this one. It's far too late for that now.
I wish I'd told you I loved you in those final, fleeting moments as I held you for the last time. I love you more than anything in this galaxy, Satine. Wherever you are, I hope you know that. You were the only one I will ever love. You taught me what love is. And you taught me that love is, perhaps, the most powerful weapon of all. It's love, not hate, that will win this war. You see, as long as we have love...we'll have hope, too. Hope for peace. Hope for a time when there won't be any killing or fighting or sadness anymore. It's that hope that keeps me going, Satine. That was your gift to me.
A slender arm wrapped around his scarred body, its hand resting on his stomach. He smiled and drifted off to sleep, grasping the earring in his battle-worn hand, as the desert wind calmed and moonbeams danced outside.