She spots her across the Great Hall, over the broken and through all the suffering. Her long, almost white, blond hair streaked with ash. Ginny watches. It's not been long since they saw each other. Six months since Luna was taken. It felt like longer to Ginny. It felt as though she'd lived a whole other life. So much had happened and they had both seen so much. She wonders how different Luna will be. She wonders if Luna will notice the changes in her.
She sees her grey eyes meet hers, from so far away, and knows that she will. Luna was the kind of person who sensed moods on the air and secrets on skin. She'd know Ginny's soul better than she did herself.
She'd share her pain.
Ginny looked away, with clenched jaw and fists. She suddenly understood Harry's need to spare her from his. She suddenly understood what Luna was to her, what she could be.
Her mum comes to her and envelopes her into a soft hug, 'you can cry sweetheart,' she whispers.
So, she does. She thinks of the year they'd all suffered and of the pain she'd been put through. All that had been forced upon her. Her brother dead on the floor. The woman she looked up to so much lying cold next to her husband. The child they both left behind. She cries for Luna being alone all that time.
An hour passes and she's looking at Luna again. Closer this time. Close enough to see that there's dried blood on her arms and bruises on her face. Luna has her head cocked to one side, her cool eyes dewy. Ginny knows her well enough that she knows she's about to say something strange but true.
'It's good to see your face,' Luna tells her warmly, dreamily.
Ginny smiles at the familiarity, feeling warm she pulls her friend into a hug. She holds her face to her neck and her arms to her back. 'I've missed you.' She squeezes Luna tightly, never wanting to let go.
They have fleeting meetings over the next few weeks of intense grief. They do not say much to each other, just taking simple comfort in the others presence. Then calm spring mornings slowly turn into the blazing sun rises of summer and Ginny feels numb to it. She tries her best to enjoy it as her younger self would have but she can't quite reach that level of peace or joy. She feels disappointed in herself. As though she's letting Fred down.
Most mornings she takes some time to herself. Sitting alone on an old cobble wall staring up at the sky and across the country side helps calm her. Ginny always feels better ready to face the day once she's had her cup of tea with the lonely company of apple trees.
There's always a point though where someone comes to get her. She's grateful to them. Whether it's one of her brothers trying clumsily to make her laugh or her parents warm, roughened hands holding her, she feels loved and safe. Harry is her favourite though; he just sits next to her. Staring, just like her and then occasionally sharing each other's thoughts on the obvious state of the sky that day. He understands her need for quiet better than any of her family.
It was one of those mornings that she looked at him and realised they had not once talked about them. What they were before. He looked back at her she saw a sadness she knew echoed into her own.
'It's not that I don't love you,' she told him.
He smiled, in a way that she knew he felt the same, 'I love you too. We can't pretend though, can we?'
'No,' she shook her head and sighed, looking out, into the distance. 'We aren't the same. Maybe we were foolish to think we could pick up where we left off.'
They share a sad look; she knows a part of her will always love him. She also knows that she isn't the same. She can't be the same.
Nights are the worst for Ginny. She cannot sleep. She expects no one sleeps well anymore but she finds herself doing things perhaps most people wouldn't in the early hours. She reads up on Quidditch manoeuvres then takes a broom out to practice under the moonlight until her bones are weary. It brings her nostalgia to the times of stealing her brothers' brooms when she was small.
The empty air makes her feel lonelier than she thought it would though. She hovers high above the earth seeing it all but only really noticing the emptiness between her and the rest of the world.
One night though she sees something that warms her heart. From the Lovegood's newly rebuilt house there's a kite soaring almost as high as she. It's shaped like a hare and coloured a wispy silver. Luna had recreated her patronus into something permanent. Something that will never fade with a bad dream. She must have charmed it somehow to give off a faint glow. A little light in the darkness.
Ginny doesn't want to go back to Hogwarts. Not really. She wants to play Quidditch, she's decided. But with her Mums nagging and some actually useful advice from Oliver Wood at a get together that she's more likely to be spotted by a team if she plays for Gryffindor in her final year, she changes her mind. She is scared though. Scared that she won't be able to shake off all her thoughts and feeling from the year before. She shudders to think of what happened to her, what happened to everyone she cares about, when she's hundreds of miles away. How would she cope when it's all there in front of her?
She was right to worry.
It hurts.
Sometimes she feels like a ghost tracing her own footsteps. Walking through halls that once held nothing but joy but only seeing the horrors she had endured at the hands of the Carrows. Only imagining her brothers last laugh. Seeing the dead eyes of her classmates where she once saw friendship.
Hermione does her best to keep them both occupied but Ginny feels a strange disconnect from her. Hermione may have faced terrible things last year but she wasn't there with her when Hogwarts had become a prison.
She feels guilty when she doesn't meet Hermione in the Library like she asked her too. Instead she goes to the Ravenclaw tower and sends a message through a third year for Luna. It's been less than a minute when her fair-haired friend steps out with a curious look.
'I thought you were studying? Hermione's schedule says it's Transfiguration this afternoon.'
'I just wanted to see you,' Ginny smiles sheepishly, feeling her cheeks warm.
'Oh. Is there something wrong with your eyes?'
She laughs. 'You're making fun of me.'
'I would never,' Luna grins.
They go for a walk, around the chilled grounds by the lake. Ginny can't help but stare at Luna as she looks around the familiar view with her own special kind of excitement. Only Luna can see something new and refreshing in such familiarity.
'You're the only one that realises,' Luna says softly.
'Realises what?'
'That not everything I say is serious. Everyone thinks what I say is funny. They think I don't have a sense of humour but they laugh at what I say or the way I speak.'
'I'm sorry Luna,' Ginny frowns, 'if someone is bothering you I could- '
'Oh, no, I like it that way. With you understanding me more than anyone.'
Ginny blinks away her surprise, 'still... if you want me to hex someone for you...'
Luna laughs, loud and bright. So loudly that she disturbs some birds into the sky and some mischievous first years away from their attempts at befriending the giant squid in the shallows. She snorts and Ginny can't help but laugh alongside her. Even if she doesn't quite understand why it's so funny.
Luna grabs at Ginny's shoulder as she doubles over with laughter and Ginny says the first thing that pops into her mind, 'I want to kiss you.'
Luna stops laughing, her eyes wide and shining. She holds Ginny's arm tightly and turns towards her, they are so close that Ginny can see the pores on Luna's seemingly spotless skin and the flecks of grey amongst the blue of her eyes and her light, fluttery eyelashes brushing on the tops of her cheeks as she glances down to Ginny's lips.
Ginny leans in even closer so they can feel each other's breaths, she sees the joyous anticipation in Lunas eyes and she wonders if it's echoed in her own. She feels it in the tummy rising through her chest like little fires. Finally, they kiss and it feels like soft lips. It feels like Luna. She can't help but smile before pulling her closer and kissing her again. And again. It's as though the world around them has both disappeared and been heightened. Every part of her feels new and free.
She is so glad for Luna. For having her in her arms. For her being alive and by her side.
She wants this moment to last forever.
Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought :)