Disclaimer: I own nothing. Neither the song nor the characters.
Summary: What happens when a writer is running on two hours of sleep.
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River was singing. Loudly. Her voice echoed through the ship, but thankfully not unpleasantly. It was just … odd.
"There's a man who leads a life of danger." She sang as she balanced along the handrails of the cargo bay's upper walkways. "To everyone he meets he stays a stranger."
Simon stood on the cargo bay floor below. "River…"
"With every move he makes, another chance he takes." She sang cheerily as she did a cartwheel on the railing, as talented and graceful as any Earth-that-was Olympics gymnast on the balance beam.
"Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow." She belted out as she did a flip off the handrail, landing neatly on her feet.
Simon gasped and started climbing the stairs to reach her. River turned and looked at him for a second. Then she laughed and ran towards the dining room.
"Secret agent man. Secret agent man." She laughed as she vaulted onto the table and did a little jig on top. "They've given you a number, and taken away your name."
Simon, panting like an out of shape rhino, sprinted after her. When his hand was a breath away from grabbing onto hers she smiled and leapt off the table, did a somersault on the ground and headed towards the crew quarters.
She ran up to Mal, who looked at her oddly. She paused in front of him. "Beware the pretty faces that you find." She sang, then patted him on the cheek. "A pretty face can hide a evil mind."
She looked over her shoulder and saw Simon catching up to her. She beamed a wide smile at Mal and continued her run.
She ran into Jayne and laughed. "Oh be careful what you say. Or you'll give yourself away. Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow." He shot her an odd look and raised his eyebrows.
She heard Simon panting behind her and took off again.
"Secret agent man, secret agent man." She sang, slowing to a skip. "They've given you a number and taken away your name." She did a twirl. "Swinging on the Riviera one day, lying in a Bombei alley next day."
"Oh no, you let the wrong word slip," She came upon Inara, who watched her with an amused expression. "While kissing persuasive lips." She pecked the Companion on the cheek. "Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow."
She took off again, hearing Simon puffing along behind her. "Secret agent man. Secret agent man." She danced onto the bridge, and smiled at Zoë and Wash who had been talking quietly. "They've given you a number, and taken away your name." She did an impromptu dance by the co-pilot chair.
Simon finally caught up with her and bent over, clutching a stitch in his side. "R…River." He gasped out between pants. He put a hand on her arm and led her out of the bridge, still breathing heavily. She blew a kiss at Zoë and Wash and grinned wildly as she was pulled towards the infirmary.
Wash turned to his wife. "And I thought rubbing soup in our hair was the most entertaining thing she'd do."
Zoë smiled. "I have to admit it was pretty entertaining, all three repetitions. Especially with the good doctor trying to catch her the whole time."
Wash laughed. "We should suggest River try out that combo of medication again sometime. If only to off-set the periods of screaming and cutting Jayne."
"It does make for a nice break."